Blue Roses

Bouzi Neo

Chapter Sixteen: Secrets

When Trunks and Gohan returned, Bulma acted as if she'd thought her son was in his room the entire time. She commented on how she'd thought he was asleep and didn't want to wake him, and he just coughed and nodded. Gohan was silent, staring at her from across the table, he stared at her and his lips moved, maybe even words came out, but Bulma couldn't hear them.

She was finding him more and more attractive by the hour.

It surprised her at first, that even after her encounter, even during her encounter with the sadistic Juunana, all she thought of was he. She should have been worrying about her son. She felt she'd betrayed her family. Bulma looked down and her son and crush and spoke.

"I'm going to my lab." Bulma stood up abruptly. Gohan watched her, concerned, but nodded. She knew he would wait for her son to leave before he came to see her, and that was fine. She didn't ask him to meet her because she knew he would come.

"I don't trust myself with you."

"That's okay." Gohan remarked. His footsteps against the cold metal door were chilling.

Bulma looked over her shoulder. "Is it really?"

He was a child. An attractive one, but still a child. She could not compare him to a man and yet she could not compare him to her son. His eyes were aged. He'd seen a million battles and watched death, yet did not mock it. No, Son Gohan was not arrogant. That was smart of him. Gohan was very brave. She had to admit this. He stared down the coldest tyrants and fought when he seemed so tired and drained of life in itself. Bulma felt pity for the boy that had no father and he was a boy, but as he developed into a man… Hadn't she just referred to him as a child?

Bulma sighed to herself. Gohan was handsome; there was no doubting that. Not at all. He had a true Saiya-Jin's build, despite the human blood that ran through his veins, and his eyes… that dark stare that mocked her gaily one moment and the next looked at her with a hunger she must've decided not to notice the next…

"I have obligations. It would traumatize my son if he ever found out." She stated, but it sounded so mechanical Gohan ignored her. Frustrated, Bulma pounded her hands against her desk, "Talk to me! Tell me why! Why me, Gohan? You're just a child so how can I find you attractive and how can I not?"

Gohan watched her with his eyes. The stare that Bulma could not endure. She closed her eyes and he leaned against her chair, wrapping his arms around her. She flinched. He was hurt, but only for a second, "I don't know why. I've wanted you since I was Trunks' age. It's okay."

Bulma looked at him seriously, "Promise me you won't tell my son."

Gohan was not surprised. His blue rose wanted something of him that he could understand and yet that he did not want to abide by. She wanted this secret. She hid him. This was a cruel thing to ask him. He hurt, so much asked, so much wanted, when all he wanted was she.

Who was asking for more? He wasn't really sure. He wanted her heart. She wanted a lover.

His beloved. She was saying she would be his. She wanted him as a lover, and the price was that it would have to be in the closet. He bitterly thought of the prince once again that had captured his love's heart. She did not insist on keeping their romance a secret. A more gentle part of his mind argued that the situation was different, it tried to be sensible, but there was no such thing when Vegeta was involved. All Gohan saw was a rival that had managed to capture the heart of the woman that he loved.

Vegeta did not deserve her, and yet she had him. She wanted him. He was so cruel and distant to her. Oh, he could give her the securities she deserved, if she wanted it. But he wasn't so sure. He wanted to ask her, he wanted to beg her to tell him what he needed to be-to make her happy, to show her that he loved her. But she was so still in his arms. It felt right to him but she was so stiff that he could tell she was nervous, uncomfortable, awkward.

Gohan slid his hand down, stroking her chin so gently, tilting it up so that he could look at her, so that he could see her gorgeous eyes. He wondered sometimes how Kami'd managed to capture the exact color of the ocean on a happy day when the water was calm, sparkling in the sun inside her eyes. But he knew better than to question fate and take away from the magic. She looked so confused. The woman that had all the answers seemed so lost right now, and what bothered him was that she was not looking to him for answers. She was not looking to anyone for answers.

She needed someone, something; she could no longer juggle everything though she tried. Her feelings were so complex. She was a piece of him that he had lost when he was very young She was intelligent, she strived to be the best in everything she did, arrogant, loving, kind, and yet her sharp tongue and fiery temper held, no, demanded, the attention of all around her. When thinking about it, her perfection was so unreal that it made him extremely nervous and conscious of the fact that she was there, now, and her choice was about to be made. So be it.

She wanted him, which was sure enough. It was rather obvious that Bulma'd found him attractive for a long time. More than obvious. Moments ago, she'd actually verbalized the fact that she was physically attracted to him. That meant absolutely nothing. Physical attraction could only take you so far… but did she really love him for what he was? Did she love him at all? Want was one thing, but was she unknowingly using him for a replacement?

No… he was nothing like Vegeta, so that was thoroughly impossible. But the fact of the matter remained: Bulma did not think this relationship was right. She wanted him and she maybe was even attracted to him for him, but she did not honestly think they were right for each other, and as much as he adored Trunks, he was to blame for this.

Trunks was, perhaps, the symbol of morality for Bulma. A sign that this was wrong. It made him love her all the more that she wanted her son to be happy. But she could not push herself to the side forever. He did not want to be her secret. He wanted all to know that he loved Bulma and that she loved him.

He couldn't help but feel somewhat used. But his rose would never do something like that.

She was too perfect.

"What're you so happy about? Are you finally done with that human woman?"

Juunana scoffed, "She's just a way to pass the time."

"It seems to me like you're starting to like her a bit too much. She is a human." Juuhachi yawned. "So what're we going to do tomorrow?"

Juunana looked to the side, "You can go play with your malls… as long as…"

Juuhachi raised a brow, "As long as I what?"

"Just don't kill anyone for a week. I don't care what you do."

Juuhachi burst into laughter, "She actually made you promise… and you're actually listening?"

Juunana growled darkly and his sister stopped giggling, "I am this close to getting what I want from her and if keeping a stupid promise, for a few days at least, will shut her up, then do it!"

"If you want her so badly, why don't you just take her instead of making all these negotiations?"

Juunana glared. She wouldn't understand. This one was worthy. This one was different.

"You should come to bed." Gohan rested his head on Bulma's shoulder.

Absentmindedly, she responded, "And you should be resting in Med Lab. What's your point?"

"I don't want you up all night." Gohan responded. He really didn't matter… but she looked so tired… "If you don't, I'll pick you up and drag you to bed myself."

Bulma ignored him, continuing to type away, "I'll be in bed in a few moments."

Gohan rolled his eyes, picking up the chair. Bulma let out a bit of a squeal and he grinned, "It's bed time."

"Gohan! Trunks will hear!" Bulma protested, "If you put me down, I'll come quietly…"

"I don't trust you." He eyed her warily, but set her down.

"Good!" Bulma turned abruptly, running towards the Lab doors. Unfortunately, Gohan was only a few million times faster than she was, and before she knew it, the two were laying down in her bed. "Ugh…" She pretended to be disgusted, though she hadn't had this much fun in a long time, "I hope you took your shoes off."

"I sure did." Gohan responded, bringing his rose a bit closer to him. He had to squeeze this moment; he had to make sure it was real while it lasted.

She slept calmly for the first time in years in Gohan's patient and loving arms.

It was not wrong to love Gohan anymore. She would ignore the fact that it was wrong until it was no longer wrong.

Crappy? Hehe… sorry. At least I updated?

Next time: Gohan and Bulma fluff! While Juu and Juu are off destroying malls, (though not killing as Juu promised), Gohan and Bulma share a tender moment. But what's this? Trunks learns of the android"s attack? Should Bulma tell Gohan of her encounters with Juuhachi or go off to rescue her son alone?

Reviewer's Corner:

Mademoiselle: If you think this is deep, you should see the whole Bulma's about to dig for herself.

Vegeta Goddess: Thank you too much! Good versus Utterly, utterly brilliant… -Wipes away tear- I am… so honored… EVERYONE COME LOVE VG WITH ME!

GethMane8: You're one of my more frequent readers and for that I have to thank you. It is very hard, because I'm going to have to have her switching back and fourth and loving them both in different ways for different things to the point where she can't even compare them and I've said way too much…

Jay: Bulma's lie was the affair with Gokou. She was never with him at any point, she just wanted to protect Gohan and not bring up Vegeta at the same time. Actually, Bulma's main problem is what she DOESN'T tell Gohan, if ya catch my drift.

A Very Horny Celeb Ryu: Yes, I know… you love Juu. I won't bother responding to your review, I'll just assume you like his sexiness and move on… Uh… thanks for liking the fic?