Disclaimer- See chapter one.

A/N: I wanted to thank EVITAKRISHNA 88 for her suggestions, it spurred me to start this chapter earlier than I could have, by giving my insight on how the characters should be reacting. More feedback like this, guys! I'm a big kid, you won't hurt my feelings. Also, you can find links to Bella's outfit on my profile.

Chapter Four

Jake is an idiot. Like I'm going to take the advice of a sixteen year old mutt. What the hell does he know, anyhow? I thought, angrily.

"Bella!" Alice hissed, warningly. "Not that we can't afford to buy a new one, but I think if you squeeze that Wii-mote any tighter, I think it'll crumble," she said, looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

I looked down, and blushed fiercely. I hadn't realized just how hard I'd been gripping it. "Sorry," I mumbled.

She took it from me, having already set hers down, and pulled me down to the couch. She took my hands in to hers, and when she looked up at me with those golden eyes of hers, so much like her brother, like her father, I just wanted to spill everything. It was so hard to hold back from the sweet little vampire in front of me. "What has gotten you so flustered lately? You can't deny that you have been, because Jasper says you're nothing but a hurricane of emotions lately. We're worried about you," She said softly.

I tried to avoid her gaze. "It's nothing. I'm just not sleeping well lately. Stupid dreams, is all. You haven't told anyone have you?" I asked. "Please, don't. Specially not Edward. I don't want him thinking that he has to come stay with me every night again," I begged.

Alice looked hurt. "Bella, I would never. That's private. It's not even fair that Jasper knows, but he can't help it. The only reason he told me is because we thought that maybe you might need to talk to someone," she said. "I just wish you felt like you could tell me." She dropped my hands, scooting back on the soft leather sofa.

"Alice, please. It's not like that. It's just..." I trailed off, suddenly being sparked with inspiration. "It's just Jake. He's been giving me a bit of a hard time. And I don't want Edward knowing, because you know him..."

"I know. He'd try and forbid you from seeing him," she said with a sigh.

"Are you kidding? He's already forbid me. But there's nothing I could do about it even if I planned to listen. Charlie invited him over like, twice a week! And Edward doesn't seem to get that it's not my place to kick out Charlie's guests. He's just so stubborn," I groaned.

Alice laughed, but it had a sarcastic bite to it. "Yeah, well living for so long does that to a person."

I smiled at her, I couldn't help it. "I've met granite more yielding than your 'brother.'" I sat back on the couch, getting comfy and we sat there in the silence for a while, something that I'm sure Alice could appreciate much more than the average human.

The silence was rudely interrupted by the front door opening. "Hello? Anyone home?" Carlisle called out.

"In here!" Alice said. He must have had a rotation in the ER again today, because when he strode into the room, he stopped and leaned against the door jamb, looking better in a pair of mint green scrubs than any man had the right to.

He flashed his winning smile at us, and it annoyed me that he could act as though this didn't even phase him. "Where is everyone?" He asked.

"Esme and Rose went shopping, and the boys decided to go hunting. I think they were just bored," Alice admitted. "Bella and I were just having some girl talk. I was just asking Bella what she preferred, actually?" Alice got a wicked grin on her face, and I could tell this would be bad, but poor Carlisle had no idea what was coming, and walked right into it.

"What's that?" He asked.

"Plastic or cardboard. Tampon applicators," she said, smoothly.

Carlisle looked horrified, and was already backing away. "All right, I get it. I get it. I'm going. Have fun." And just like that, he booked it up the stairs, and right into his office.

I laughed with Alice, but I couldn't help but think, As though he needed any prodding. They way he'd been splitting his time between avoiding me and acting like nothing had happened, you'd think I'd only imagined giving my damn virginity to him.

"So, other than Jake giving you a hard time, is everything okay with him," Alice asked, curiously.

There was a gleam in her eye, and I knew that look. "If you're asking if he's tried to eat me lately then no, Alice, he hasn't. I'm perfectly safe with him, I can assure you. His control is pretty good," I promised her. "He's not going to hurt me. That's why he's so hard on me lately. He thinks Edward will. Not just physically. I can't say I entirely disagree with him, either. I've just been so frustrated lately. Every time things... you know, get good... between us, he stops," I told her. Alice wanted girl talk, so girl talk she would get. Anything to avoid the real problem.

"Don't let him," she said simply.

I searched her face for any traces of joking, but there were none. "Are you suggesting I force myself on your brother?" I asked her, incredulously.

"Yep," she said, drawing out the words, ending with a pop. I looked at her, thoroughly scandalized. "What?" She asked. "It's not as though you both don't want this. You just need to step your game up, girl."

A smile spread across her face, and I could see a plan forming.

I knew Alice was plotting, but any time I asked, her answer was always the same, "I can't tell you yet! Later."

Meanwhile, things were getting worse. Without much sleep, every little thing seemed to be getting to me more than usual. I wasn't able to work things out on my sleep, and I never seemed to have any downtime. Much of my time was spent at the Cullen household, and I couldn't help but see the looks Jasper was giving me.

He was mad, I'm sure. I tried to keep my emotions in check, but it was useless. I often flitted through them in a matter of seconds. Edward thought the mood swings were from PMS, and it was just easier to let him think that then let anyone know how bad it had really gotten lately.

Compounding it all was my steadily rising anger towards Carlisle. How could he not feel anything?

I wish Bella had any idea what she was doing to me. I was centuries old, but lately I felt exactly the twenty three years old that my body was frozen at. Did she have to be here all of the time? I thought childishly once. I felt young, and petty. It was something I did not enjoy.

I could barely stand to be around her. She made me hunger so much, in a way that had nothing to do with bloodlust. It was taxing to act as though that weren't true, and even harder to keep my son out of my head. I could only hole up in my office so much of the time, though.

At first I had tried channeling all of these feelings into Esme, but it made her suspicious. Our marriage had been deteriorating for some years now. As times changed nurses got younger, and women in general more uninhibited. As a vampire, I didn't get any less handsome, as arrogant as it sounded, and well, you can add it up. I was hit on, and propositioned often. Esme, though a wonderful and loving woman, had a jealous streak nearly as big as her heart. Though she loved me, she couldn't help but resent me for the fact that I had taken away her ability to either bear more children, or see her child again in the afterlife. These things all contributed to our drifting apart.

She often accused me of such ridiculous things, and I was ashamed that she would no longer be wrong now. I just couldn't help myself. The occurrences of intimacy between us were few and far between, not that that's any excuse at all. The guilt in me ran plenty deep at this time, and with respect for my son, Jasper, I tried my best to rein it in, or steer clear of him.

The thing was, I just couldn't help myself. Bella was so attractive, and what made it even more so was that she didn't know it. Women nowadays saw their sexuality as nothing but a tool; to be used against the male race as though it were a weapon. For Bella, this idea had not even occurred to her. I don't think she'd even realized her own potential yet, sweetheart that she was. She was just so... refreshing.

And even though I spent every day feeling overwhelming guilt about what occurred between us, about what we had done to my wife, to my sun, I couldn't bring myself to feel regret. Though I knew it couldn't happen again, I found myself fantasizing about it, and remembering it quite... 'fondly' whenever Edward was out of range.

Whenever Bella was in the house, I found myself acting flawlessly. I smiled, I spoke easily. I acted as though there had been no changes. But I never addressed Bella. And I never met her eyes. I was too afraid of what I might see in them.

Between Carlisle's constant absence, Edward's frustration, and Bella's constant hurricane of emotions, I could sense a storm brewing on the horizons. There was and undercurrent of tension in the house every time Bella was here, and it seemed as though I was the only one picking up on it.

I could tell my wife was plotting something as well. She was rarely in this good a mood unless she had something up her sleeve. She wouldn't tell me what it was, only that it was going to 'fix everything.' I wasn't sure anything was, but I knew better than to bet again Alice. I thought more than once that maybe I aught to step in and do something, as it was easy for me to guess what was going on, but after being with my darling wife for so many years, I was sure she knew what she was doing. If any one could see and plan for the bigger picture, it was her after all. And I'd learned from her a long time ago also, that sometime these things just have to be left to run their course. I only hoped that things would work out the way they were supposed to before someone reached a breaking point...

Meanwhile, things just kept getting worse for me. I still wasn't sleeping, and it was leaking over harshly into every day life. I was usually irritable, and I kept falling asleep during class, during meals... I would just start to nod off, against my will. It was to the point where I was taking unintentional micro naps. I tried so hard to hide it, but I was kidnapped right now, Alice and Jasper babysitting me at the Cullen's again and I was sure they noticed. I couldn't stop myself from blaming Carlisle. I just wanted something out of him. Anything. Just for him to acknowledge in some way that he was affected. It didn't matter if he regretted it or not. I just wanted to know that I wasn't the only one this had screwed things up for. It wasn't fair that I was here, alone, drowning in the consequences of actions that weren't just mine, but ours together, while Carlisle got off scott free. I guess I wasn't hiding that too well, either.

"Are you mad at Carlisle?" Jasper asked me, breaking me out of my reverie.

I looked up, startled. "What? No," I said.

He looked at me, one eyebrow raised. "You're a bad liar, Bella. Every night when he leaves to go up to his office, I can feel your anger spike. Now, now. No lying to the empath, darlin'," he teased, a slow smile on his face. "Now why don't you spill, and tell Jazz what's been botherin' you."

"It's nothing really. It just seems like he doesn't have much time for anyone lately," I lied smoothly. It was becoming more and more natural as time when by, and I briefly pondered that. Maybe I should take up an acting career.

"Bella, the man's a doctor. Of course he's busy," Jasper said, rationally.

"Yeah, but you heard Edward. Carlisle doesn't even talk to him anymore. And just between you and me, I think Edward could really use a good father-son chat lately."

Jasper seemed to consider this briefly. "I cannot deny you there, sweetheart. Our dear Edward is quite wound up. I am sure this is thank in part no doubt to my devious wife and her plottin' schemes," he said, with a smile. I grinned. I loved it when he talked about Alice. He was always so teasing, but if you saw his eyes, you could tell that each of the things he poked fun at was just another quality of hers that he treasured. I could only hope that one day I would feel love that could run that deep. I knew it only came from spending countless years at someone's side.

"Speakin' of the devil," he whispered in my ear. I looked in the same direction as he was. "Here comes the force of nature herself," he announced.

Alice twirled down the stairs in a way that I'm sure if imitated would break my neck. She stopped before us, grinning, and pulled me up. "Up we go, Bella. We have work to do," she said excitedly.

I looked at her, quizzical. "What?"

"Tonight's the night, silly. We have to get you ready," she said, eyes glittering with mischief.

"Oh, Alice, I don't know," I protested feebly. She shook her head, and when I tried to back away, she picked me up and threw me over her tiny shoulder.

Damn vampire strength. I wailed and kicked, but she was having none of it, determined to play her favorite game: Bella Barbie. gPut me down, you blasted vampire! h I cried, in protest.

It did nothing. Alice blew a kiss at her smiling husband, before carting me upstairs to her room, and shutting the door firmly. "Now, Bella. As much as I am going to enjoy this, you know it is necessary. I'm not just doing this for my own personal enjoyment."

"Yeah, sure," I grumbled. I knew she was right, but it didn't mean I would enjoy this. If I had any hope of regaining my sanity and not damaging my relationship, I figured this would be it...

"First things first. Hop in the shower. Exfoliate, shave, and condition. Oh, and do be quick about it. We only have a few hours," She said. She handed me a shower bag full of expensive scented shower things, and shoved me towards the door to her en-suite bathroom.

As I was in the shower, following orders, I couldn't help but wonder what Alice was going to doing to me that would require so much time. I presented myself freshly scrubbed and shining to Alice for appraisal, but she took no interest in me, just shoved a shopping bag in my hands and pushed me back in the bathroom.

"Put it on," she ordered. "No complaints!"

I looked down at the shopping bag nervously. La Perla. I didn't know much, but I knew it was expensive. I reached in and tentatively pulled out the first item. A turquoise blue bra. It was a padded push-up, covered in lace with swirly little seashell designs. The low rise underwear was made of the same material. I winced, knowing I had never worn anything this expensive or this sexy before in my life. I reached in the bag and pulled out the last item. When I saw what it was, I was grateful. It was a black robe made out of some wispy material, edged in black lace, with a black satin ribbon sash. At least I could preserve my modesty for some time. I dressed quickly, and before leaving the bathroom, I couldn't help but glimpse in the mirror. When I did, I gasped. In an uncharacteristic moment of materialism, I decided whatever Alice had spent on this outfit was worth it. In this, I could honestly believe I might look good enough to shake Edwards self control.

When I stepped back into Alice's bedroom, she sighed happily. "Bella, you look lovely. Come, sit. Time to tackle that hair of yours," She said, this time with a grimace.

I tried to sit still as she did painful, evil things to my head. After the first few minutes, I just squeezed my eyes shut and thought about happier things, like being dipped in acid and poked with sharp sticks as Alice pulled, yanked, and tortured my hair.

"Open your eyes, silly. It's done," She said. I looked up at her, hopefully. "No, Bella. I said it's done, not we're done. I still need to do your makeup." I groaned. "Shhh, Bella. It will all be worth it, I promise you," she said, a glint in her eyes as though she knew something I did not.

Alice moved so fast it was hard to keep up as her hands and fingers moved over my face. When she went to pluck my eyebrows, I cried out in surprise, but just as quickly as I had, she was done. Leave it to Alice to abuse vampire speed while playing Bella Barbie.

"Hey," Alice said, snapping her fingers in front of my face. "Pay attention. You're done." She spun me around to face the mirror, and a gasped. From my perfectly plucked eyebrows to my smoky eyes, down to my perfectly glossed pink lips, it was clear Alice had made a miracle. I don't think I would have even recognized myself.

"Alice," I breathed.

She grinned at me, pleased. "I know, I know," she said, giggling. "I make magic. Edward's not gonna know what hit him." Her face changed, suddenly all business. "Now, Jasper and I are going to leave for the night, a date you know. Rose, Emmett and Esme are away hunting, and Carlisle's working an overnight shift. When Edward gets back, you'll be all alone," she said. "So get your butt down to his room, get in that bed, look sexy and wait."

This was really going to happen. Alice said it would, and you know, you don't bet against Alice. I'd been waiting for this day from the moment I'd met Edward almost a year ago now. It was all I'd ever really wanted. I followed orders, but the whole time I sat waiting, my heart was pounding and my head swam. I don't think I'd ever been so nervous in my life. My mind was screaming at me, a million different unintelligible things, but all at once it quieted when I heard the footsteps coming down the hall. It was him. He was here.

When he stepped into the room, he shut the door carefully behind him, before turning to look at me. I don't think I'd ever seen Edward flustered before this moment. Even though there was no blood left to rush to his cheeks, I still noticed the other tell tale signs of a blush. "Bella," he whispered, and my heart soared.

This was going to work, I promised myself, as I stood up from the bed. I reached for the sash on my robe, and in the blink of an eye, Edwards hands were there, stopping me. I looked up at him, questioningly, but he shushed, me, instead untying the sash himself. If it was at all possible, my heart rate increased. We locked eyes, and his cool fingertips skimmed my shoulders, before gently pushing the robe back. It fell in a pool of black fabric around my ankles. I sighed as his arms slid around my waist, and drew me closer. I gave him a nervous smile, before he leaned down to meet my lips.

I could tell he was trying to be so careful, as he inched me back towards the bed. I felt the edge of it against the back of my knees, and Edwards swept me up before laying me down. Every movement was careful, as if he were carrying something frail and fragile. It annoyed me, but I knew it was a habit he may never break. He feathered kisses along my jawline, inhaling deeply before capturing my lips again. And that's when I became frantic. I knew I couldn't give him a moment to back down, and I wound my hand in his hair, pressing closer, until the entire length of my body was pressed firmly to his.

Edward groaned, pressing back against me, and encouraged, I kissed away from his lips, down to the cool skin at his neck. My tongue swirled along the flesh, before I scraped my teeth against it. It yielded, but I knew if would never break. Not from my weak teeth. Everything about him was so much better. He was more beautiful, more strong, more capable than I could ever be as long as I was human. I marveled in things that were the every day for him. I always felt so blessed that he had chosen me. Weak, fragile, human Bella. Why had he? Rosalie had been offered up to him. Tanya yearned for him. Next to them, I paled in comparison.

"Bella," he groaned, kissing me again, before he took a clue from me, his lips trailing back down my jaw, to my neck. I sighed, as he kissed my neck. His hands skimmed along my sides, gently gripping my hips, and then his mouth hit a sensitive spot. The sensation of him kissing right there, with his cool, wet tongue set something off in me.
"Edward!" I cried out, grinding against him.

Just as soon as I did, he sucked in a breath, and I was alone in bed. I cried out at the loss, but he was already on the other side of the room. I looked up at him, my eyes swimming with confusion and frustration.

"Not again!" I begged him, sitting up.

He shook his head, his eyes so dark they glittered, nearly pupil-less. "Bella, we can't do this anymore," he said. "I can't put you in danger this way," he insisted, shaking his head.

"What?" I said, struggling to comprehend what he was saying.

"Bella, I wanted to..." he trailed off, looking at a loss for words. "As much as I would like to give you this intimacy, I can't. I wanted to do... awful things just then. It's still hard to think. We can't do things like this anymore. We can't be intimate. You're human, easily breakable to me," he tried to explain.

"Let me get this straight," I said, angrily. "You will not be intimate with me as a human." He nodded. "And you will not change me into a vampire." He shook his head. I let out a short, humorless laugh. "And you want me to spend the rest of my life with you?" I asked, unbelieving.

"Of course, Bella. I couldn't think of anything else!" He said, indignantly.

"You refuse to make me a vampire, but you expect me to stay with you as a human, while you deny me my every human experience?" I asked. Then I erupted. "You have got to be kidding me, Edward! You don't get to make those kinds of choices for me!" I shouted. He started to move towards me, but I put my hands up. "Don't. Don't you take another step closer, or I'll say something we'll both regret," I promised. I grabbed my jeans from the foot of the bed, and yanked them up around my waist. I wrapped the robe around me, too angry to search for my shirt, and grabbed my bag.

"Bella, please," Edward begged. I could hear the anguish in his voice, and though I knew it was real, it only served to fuel my anger.

"No, Edward. I need time to myself. Don't follow me. And you'd better not watch my house, either, or so help me, I'll call the pack. I need to think," I said. I slammed the door behind me, and with grace and speed I didn't know I possessed, I ran to me truck. The drive home was mostly a blur, but when I reached my house, Jake was sitting on the doorstep.

Turning off the ignition, I whiped away tears I didn't know I'd been crying, and met Jake at the door. "Bell, what's going on?" He asked.

"Inside," I warned, looking around. Thankfully, he didn't ask anymore questions. I fumbled for the house key, and then let us in, flipping on the lights. Charlie wouldn't be home for hours, I was sure. Thinking I was sleeping over with Alice, he would stay much longer at La Push, if not overnight.

I tossed my bag on the floor, before Jake and I sat across from each other at the kitchen table. Unknown to me, I started to doze off, but Jake reached across the table and shook me roughly. "Bella."

"Bella!" he nearly shouted.

I startled, shaking my head. "What?" I asked, irritably.

"Bella, I thought you were going to take care of this?" He asked. "You fell asleep again. You're still having those dreams, aren't you?" He asked, suspiciously.

"So what?" I asked.

"Bells, there just dreams. No one's going to blame you if they just run their course. Not if it helps get you back to sorts." He studied my face for a while. "I'm really worried about you, Bells. Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"Jake, I would love to tell you, but my mind is the only safe place for all of this stuff. Do you get it?" I asked. His eyes shimmered with recognition and he nodded. "The second I tell anyone else, well, everyone can know. And I'm just not ready for that. Edward and I got into a fight tonight," I began.

"What happened?" Jake asked sharply. "If he hurt you, I swear to God, Bells."

"No, Jake. You'd be thrilled about this, actually," I said, my voice just brimming with bitterness.

"What are you talking about?"

"Edward wants to be with me for the rest of my life. It's sweet, really, but that's about where it ends. He refuses to change me." Jake started growling as soon as the words 'change me' left my mouth. I smacked his shoulder. "Get a hold of yourself, Jake. You phase and destroy the house and we'll have a hell of a time explaining it to my father. Anyhow. He refuses to change me. But he refuses to be intimate with me. He expects me to live my human life with him. He won't give me eternity, but he'll take away every human experience I could have. It's not fair. I exploded on him."

Jake looked at a loss, and without warning, I started crying again. My body wracked with sobs. Jake patted my back awkwardly, and I could tell it was difficult for him to comfort me over what I knew he viewed as good news. I was immensely grateful to him for being such a good friend.

As the tears started to slow, Jake said, "Bells, why don't you go up stairs and clean up, huh?" He helped me up out of my chair. "Go upstairs, take a shower, let it all out. Then you can get dressed in something a little more... appropriate, and we can talk. Or channel surf. Or whatever," He suggested.

"Really?" I asked. "You'll wait? And stay with me?"

He smiled, one of those smiles I never saw him give anyone else. His eyes sparkled and I knew in that moment that I would never have a better friend. Save Alice, of course. "Bell, I'd do anything for you. I promised you, I will always help you pick up the pieces. In whatever capacity you need me. You asked for a friend, and I'm doing my damnedest to be the best one there is," He said sincerely.

I started to go upstairs, but halfway up I paused, and turned to face him. "Jake?" I asked.

"Yeah, Bells?"

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

I ducked into the bathroom, wiggling out of my jeans. Looking around the bathroom, I swore, realizing that my shower bag was still in my room. I crossed the hall, and entered my room. I stopped to grab a tissue and tried to mop up the mess of my face.

That's when I realized I wasn't alone. Someone cleared their throat from over behind the window. I whirled around to face the last person I ever expected to see here.

"Carlisle."

There you go. A bit of a cliffie, I'm afraid. I thought that would be an appropriate place to end the chapter. So, what do you think about the turn things have taken? Let me know with a review. Naked willing Cullen boys, yada yada yada. Review! They inspire me.