SOUL SEARCHING

A few nights later…

Dale padded down the hall, heading for Gadget's room, but just before he could step up and knock, the door flew open and Foxglove ran out, greeting him with a very tight hug and a very interesting kiss. Shocked for one millisecond, Dale wrapped his arms around her wings and returned the kiss.

Parting 19 seconds later, Foxglove asked, "Miss me, Darling? I could tell it was you coming just now. I just love the way your footpads sound when they bounce off the wood."

Slightly embarrassed, he replied, "Uh, thanks, Foxy. I guess I'll never be able to sneak up on you like that. But you do have to stop doin' that."

"Why, are you getting tired of it, Cute Stuff?" she asked, fluttering at him.

"Uh, no, I kinda like it, but…oh…never mind. You can sneak up on me as long as you want. Just be sure I'm not carryin' explosives or anythin' fragile when you do that," he smiled.

Foxglove chuckled at his advice and scratched the top of Dale's head with her wingtips, making him giggle softly. She replied, "You know I always echosound you before I come up to you, dear. And you know that I like what I hear."

Blushing more than evidently again from her compliment, Dale tried to free himself from her wings, but Foxglove tightened her grip.

"What, Dale? Am I making you uncomfortable? I was going to feed tonight again, but perhaps you would like another walk in the park?"

Dale looked at her royal blue eyes and nearly fell into them. She was truly the most beautiful chiropterid he had ever come across. And the fact that her heart was his alone was more than mind blowing. Yes, he wanted more, he knew that, but he had to do something first. "Uh, not tonight, Foxy, I have a headache…I mean…no! I don't have a headache! I mean…I would love to go out tonight, but, I have to do…somethin'…and I need to ask Gadget somethin'. She isn't asleep, is she?"

Sagging slightly with disappointment, Foxglove replied, "No, she's still awake." She then released him, and continued on her way.

Noticing her sad reaction, Dale quickly added, "But be sure to prepare for tomorrow night."

Turning as her face lit up, she giggled in response, "'Why, Dale, what are we gonna do tomorrow night?'"

"The same thing we do every night, Foxy:"

Together they chanted, "Try to take over the world!"

And as was expected, they jingled together, "They're Foxy, they're Foxy and the Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale!"

They laughed for a moment, and Foxglove said, "Well, then, good night, Cute Stuff."

She turned to leave again when Dale stated, very seriously this time, "Good night, Foxy. I love you with all my heart. Please don't ever forget that."

Foxglove stopped and turned again. Echosounding him with slight confusion, she replied, "Dale, it's impossible for me to forget that you love me. You know that."

"Yes, I know…I…know." Dale slowly turned and stared at the floor.

Hearing that, Foxy turned and left, and as she did, she thought, He loves me more than anything, but he's never going to propose! Never!

With tears in her eyes, she flew away and began to feed.

Dale, meanwhile, knocked on the bedroom door, and Gadget opened.

From the way she was blushing, her large rodentian ears had obviously picked up a significant part of the previous conversation. "Y-yes, Dale?" she asked, trying to calm down.

"Uh, Gadget, could I use your workshop tonight? I won't use any of your tools or blueprints or anythin', just your worktable, and your pencil."

"Golly, Dale, you can, but if you just need a place to write on, why don't you use the living room or kitchen table?"

The chipmunk sighed, "Well, I need to figure out a few things, and I figure, since you figure out a lot of stuff in your workshop, I thought maybe I'll be able to figure this out better over there."

A very unusual request; Dale was most certainly not mechanically inclined, so just what did he need to figure out? "Do you want me to help you, Dale? I'm really good at figuring things out—"

"Uh—no!" he blurted. "I…kinda…need to do this myself."

Reading the look on his face, the mousemaid insisted, "How about Chip or Monterey? Do you think you'll need their help?"

The male sighed and replied, "I probably will, but…I need to do as much of this by myself as I can."

Gadget deduced that Dale had obviously been hit with a major equation, one that involved the heart constant.

"Please? I promise I won't break anythin'. Not even the paper."

She eyed him with sympathy and replied, "All right, Dale. Just be careful with my stuff, and…be careful with…your stuff. And I know you have a lot of questions right now, Dale, so if you really need help with this, I am right next door, and the guys are down the hall."

"Thanks, Gadget. I'll try not to stay up all night. Good night." Dale turned and left for her workshop.

You can figure it out, Dale, she thought. Do it for Foxy, and yourself.

A minute later, Dale was sitting at Gadget's worktable, with the only light coming from a decorative bulb above it. The rodent stared hard at the large white sheet in front of him, in search of answers, but his mind was as blank as the paper was.

It must be some cosmic joke that today is April Fool's Day, he thought. And nobody noticed it but me. I wonder if they actually miss my practical jokes. But to think that this just happens to be the day I have to sort out how I really feel about Foxy! But if I don't do this, I could lose her…oh stop it, Dale, don't think that way.

Okay, first thing's first:

He then scribbled his thoughts on the paper with a pencil that had been sharpened down to a stump, so as to fit in rodent paws.

I love Foxy, she loves me, and she wants to marry me.

Why?

Because she wants more.

She wants to have my cubs, for crying out loud!

And with me, only me, for the rest of our lives.

Does she think she's ready?

I don't know.

Do I want more?

Well…um…yes.

But do I want to marry her?

His mind went blank again, as he honestly could not answer his own question. He rephrased himself:

Do I really want her to have my cubs?

Am I ready for cubs?

Am I ready to take care of her and protect her no matter what, for the rest of my life?

Can I protect her?

Can I raise our cubs?

This line of questioning wasn't getting him anywhere, so he tried another approach:

What does Foxy see in me?

She says I'm cute.

Handsome

Strong

Funny

Smart

I hate the bad guys

I have one heck of an echolocation profile.

Hmm, I wish I could echosound her, just once…

Dale suddenly shook his head, forcing his mind back on what was important right now.

And what do I see in Foxy?

She has beautiful eyes.

A great body

Silky fur

A lovely voice

She's learned new languages

She also fights the bad guys…good thing, too…

She can see things we can't.

She's sweet.

She's helpful.

She's funny, too.

She loves my movies and comics…

Zowie, we're a perfect match! So…

His mind trailed off again, this time due to uncertainty.

Why can't I bring myself to propose to her? Chip would do it with Gadget in an instant!

Why?

Why?

His mind drifted back to his early time with the Rangers, although his memories at this point, for some reason, were not pleasant ones. They were of practically every single case he screwed up, of when he deserted the others back in Paris and nearly killed them with his RamDale personality, of when he cracked under pressure inside that boot:

"I'm thinking…I'm thinking! Just…give me a minute…I can do this! I can think…I can think…I CAN'T THINK! Aaahhh, help me Chip! I'm no leader! I can't get us out of here! HEEEEEEEEELLLLP!"

Of every time Chip bonked him because he said or did something stupid—

Stupid

But Foxy doesn't think I'm stupid!

And Chip told me I have been changing.

But…is RamDale gone?

Do I still screw up?

Why would Chip do it in an instant but not me?

"Who says I would?"

Dale nearly fell off his chair when he heard Chip behind him. Whirling to face him, he chattered, "When the heck did you get in here? And how did you know what I was thinkin'?"

"Well, I got here from 'echolocation profile'. And you mumble quite clearly, though your pawriting leaves a lot to be desired." Chip looked at the undecipherable scribbles on the paper. "I know I always seem confident of myself, but I probably would be going through the same thing you are if I had to propose to Gadget." He sighed, "You don't know how much I envy you, Dale. You have the love of your life, and she wants you…she wants to be with you…forever."

"I know. I want Forever with her too, but…I don't know if I'm ready for Forever."

Chip thought for a moment, and asked, "Dale, what is it that you need to get ready?"

The confused chipmunk thought for a minute, and replied sadly, "I don't know. I guess that's what I'm tryin' to figure out here. I mean, if we're perfect for each other, then why can't I bring myself to ask her? Why am I so afraid? What am I afraid of?"

"Well, let me see, do you think she's going to say no?"

"No."

"Then, if you know she won't reject you, the problem is with you, I guess."

"And I can't figure out what it is," growled Dale, with his paws shaking. "Wait…you said you would have the same problem with Gadget. Why is that?"

"I guess because I would be scared of the decision itself, and the commitment it brings. It is forever, you know."

"But how would you know if you're ready?" Dale was grasping at straws now.

Chip sighed again, "I guess it's just something I would know when it happened. But back to you, Dale, you're not stupid. You just…say stupid things once in a while. And I doubt RamDale will come back, seeing he was just temporarily programmed in your head. And while you do tend to get distracted now and then, you're smart…in your particularly goofy way. You still screw up, yes, but no more than the rest of us now. As for your randomness, well, that drives the bad guys crazy every time. I'm sure that your kids—" The knot and the burning were there again, "—that someday your cubs will be glad they have a dad like you. And you have gotten more serious lately, Dale, and I don't know if I should be happy or sad because of that. You were…you are a fun guy to be with…"

Chip could say no more at this point. He turned and headed for the door, trying to keep his emotions in check. Before he left, he stopped and said, "You're the best thing that happened to…to all of us, Dale, and the most excellent thing that happened to Foxy. And only you can make it into something even more wonderful."

Chip then left Dale alone again.

For some reason, Dale felt even more confused than ever. He continued scribbling:

I've gotten serious?

Zowie, I never noticed that!

I always thought I was the clown of this gang…

The clown

Goofy

Distracted

Randomness

TV

Movies

Comic Books—

Ohhhh! Now I get it!

If you really think about it, inside, I'm still a cub myself!

No wonder I don't feel ready! I'm supposed to be all grown up about this!

But still, if I am getting serious, then…then that's a good thing!

So all I need to do is wait until Chip says I no longer act like a clown and then I'll pop her the question!

"I don't think she can wait that long, mate."

This time, Dale did fall out of his chair at the sound of Monterey's deep voice. The mouse and Zipper thus helped him up.

"Let me guess: you came in right after 'serious', right?" he asked, sitting at the table again.

"Too roight, pally! Chippah 'ere told us it was our turn to 'elp you with yore problem."

Dale adjusted his seat, "Uh, thanks, Monty, but I think I already figured out the answer—"

"No, you 'aven't, lad! You can't change who you really are inside. I know that I once called you our 'comic relief', an' I'm moighty sorry I did so. But don't go callin' yoreself a clown. Yo're more than a clown. Yo're a top-notch comedian/detective/Rescue Ranger/Romeo/entertainment expert! Per'aps yo're focusin' now on the detective part, but please don't get rid of the comedian part. Foxy loves every single one of those things, an' you'd not only be killin' a part of yoreself, but a part of 'erself too."

Zipper buzzed, "You're just nervous about the whole thing. Just ask her!"

"Oh yeah? Well, Mister I'm-All-Calm-And-Cool, I'd like to see you do the same with Queenie!"

Zipper blushed for a moment at that suggestion, but Monterey continued, "Look, Dale, I told you I went through the same thing with Desirée. As tough as I look, I was as weak as curds when it came to askin' 'er. I was prob'ly even more scared than you are now. But I gathered my nerve, set up a romantic atmosphere, an' asked 'er. Things didn't work out, yeah, but that's beside the point. It's difficult, but I know you can do it."

Dale pondered some more. It all added up, so it seemed. "You…you're right, Monty. I guess I am terrified, but if you think about it, Foxy might be too. So…yes…I will gather up the nerve, and then I will ask her."

"That's me pally! 'Ey, do you want me to 'elp you set it up? I could cook a moighty romantic dinner for you two."

Dale, surprised at the sudden way things suddenly cleared inside his head, replied. "Uh…well, sure! But…wait 'till I ask you to. I'm gonna need some time to gather the nerve, and I'm gonna need all the nerve I can get. And when you make our dinner, try to go light on the cheese, will ya?"

"I will. C'mon, Zip, looks like our job 'ere is done." Thus, Monterey and Zipper left Dale alone.

Dale, meanwhile, pondered on his scribbling so much that he did not hear the high five just outside.

It all added up.

It was here and now, and nothing could be more perfect for him and Foxglove.

It was so perfect.

And Dale had never felt more terrified in his life because of that.