PRENUPTIAL DISASTER

[And now, on to our feature presentation:]

Just then the crowd heard the sound of a motor and propellers above them, and they all instinctively moved aside so that the Ranger Wing could land, with Gadget at the controls. The Rangers and their friends were very glad to see her, with the possible exception of Tammy. But what really surprised those who knew her was that she was wearing a DRESS!

"Hi, guys!" It was her usual greeting and quite fitting for the occasion, they all thought. She was introduced to Phinehas and Otis, was overjoyed to find Midge there, and made it a special point to speak to Tammy and her family. After she had made the rounds, so to speak, four more animals stepped up from the crowd.

"Dale!"

"Chip!"

Both chipmunks turned and gasped with delight and joy when they saw—

"Mom! Dad!" they both exclaimed, running to embrace their parents.

"Oh, Dale, we're so happy for you!" cried his mother.

"Chip, son, I'm so glad to see you again! You don't know how worried your mother and I have been ever since you took this line of work!"

"Well, 'it's a dirty job…' and you know the rest, dad."

They then turned to the other Rangers to make the introductions.

Dale began, "Guys, this is my father, Pierre, and my mother, Dalee."

Pierre, a tough-looking chipmunk, had a black nose and slightly crooked incisors, with a hint of silver in his fur. Dalee's incisors were straight, but her nose was reddish-pink, and her fur was Dale's exact shade.

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Oakmont," said Monterey, shaking paws.

"No need to be so formal," said Pierre. "Any friend of Dale is a friend of ours. You must be Monterey Jack, and Zipper, I believe."

Chip continued, "And this is my dad, Chap, and my mom, Nikoma."

Chap was practically a carbon copy of Chip, just more silvery and wrinkled around the eyes. Nikoma was more gray than brown, and had green eyes.

Both sets of parents were also dressed formally for the occasion: tuxedos for the males, and long white dresses for the females.

"Mr. and Mrs. Maplewood, I'm so glad to finally meet you!" said Gadget, shaking their paws.

"Ah, the lovely Gadget Hackwrench, I presume!" smiled Nikoma at the mousemaid. "Hey, son, you were right! She really is an interesting item!"

"Mother…" grumbled Chip with clenched teeth. Both he and Gadget blushed more than noticeably.

"Uncle Phinehas! I'm surprised you made it on time!" exclaimed Chap when he saw the minister.

"Ah, put a sock in it, boy. I wouldn't have needed to get up so early if these kids hadn't decided to have the ceremony so far away from civilization!"

"Pierre, 'uh? But yo're not French, I take it?" asked Monterey.

"No, we're all natives. It's just that my great-grandfather had a lot of contact with French settlers, so he took one of their last names."

Then he turned to his son, "Dale, your mom and I are really proud. Here you are, a Rescue Ranger, and you're finally takin' the plunge. Foxglove is a really lucky bat, and from what you told us about her in your letters, you're one lucky Oakmont, too."

"And it was about time, too!" added Dalee. "All of our neighbours are showin' off their grandcubs, making us look bad! I hope your line of work won't get too much in the way of that!"

It was Dale's turn to blush. "I hope so, too," he replied sheepishly.

"Oh, Chip, now do you see the situation you've put us in?" asked Nikoma, slightly annoyed at her still-single son. "Pretty soon, we will be the only ones in our part of the forest without grandcubs! And with you in the line of fire every day, well, you wouldn't want the Maplewood line to die out with you, would you?"

"Uhm, mom," he said, obviously annoyed. "I would be more than happy to give you grandcubs, but," he took his parents aside a bit and whispered, "the other party is not exactly cooperating at this point in time," swivelling an ear toward a certain mousemaid nearby.

"Oh, nonsense, boy!" blurted Chap. "You've got the dashing looks of your sire and grandsire, you're everything you can be, and if the 'other party' doesn't cooper—"

"SHHHHHHHHHH!" he hissed. "I am working on it, dad! Just be patient!"

"'Patient'? 'Patient'? Chip, we've been patient for the better part of two decades—!"

"Anyone 'ere getting married? You'd better 'ave good food after this shindig! An' it 'ad better be with cheese!"

They all turned and saw none other than Cheddarhead Charlie! But then he was suddenly shoved aside—

"Ah, pipe down, you big lug! 'Ey, mates, you'd better keep an eye on this bloke afore 'e cleans out all the cheese from yore tables!"

"MOM! DAD!" exclaimed Monterey, running to hug them. "But…I thought you two were in Kenya and Samoa!"

Cheddarhead explained, "Well, I was in Samoa albatross-wrestlin' when a nice gerbil lass came up to me and asked me if I was yore dad. She told me that with 'er computer she talked to someone 'ere in York and told 'er that a Rescue Ranger was getting 'itched. I came 'ere as fast as I could, but when I saw the papers that it wasn't you, I was moighty disappointed. Still, I'm 'appy for yore friend, 'ere."

"An' I got tired of playin' make-the-inbred-lion-drool-oops-'e-already-is, back in Kenya, so I went to the city an' picked up a paper. You know the rest."

She then turned to the groom, "Dale, me lad, I don't know whether to congratulate you on yore weddin' or call you crazy for marring a bat!"

"Mother, please—"

"That's all right, Monty," said Dale. "I knew there would be opinions, but I decided not to let them get to me."

Camembert Kate then turned to her son and slapped the back of his head. "Now why can't you be like that, Cheeser? If it wasn't enough that you blew it with that French lass, you look like you really like to take yore time with this! An' at this point, I wouldn't mind if you married a lizard, jus' as long as we knew you were in good paws!"

Now it was Monterey's turn to blush. "Mom, dad, I'm gettin' to that. Really…"

The parents introduced each other, and as they were doing so, a knot began forming in Gadget's throat now. While she was more than happy for Dale and Foxglove, the sight of everyone else's parents was almost more than she could bear. With no one of her bloodline present, she just couldn't help but feel cheated, even if this was a happy occasion for the family that "adopted" her.

"You don't seem too happy for Dale."

Startled, Gadget stuttered, "Huh? Oh, golly, Mr. Maplewood, uh, I am happy for Dale. It's just that…that…"

"I know, child, I know. Chip told me what happened. I can only imagine what you went through, and what you're going through now. But, here's a happy thought: How's about you having us as your parents?"

"DAD!" screamed the other Mr. Maplewood.

Dale turned to him and whispered, "That would then make her your sister, Young Skywalker! Ha!"

And he received a well deserved bonk for that remark.

"Now, now, son, take it easy," said Chap, rather amused by his son's reaction. "I was merely telling your friend she could 'borrow' us whenever she should need a mother or father to talk to."

"Oh, golly, Mr. Maplewood—"

"Call me 'dad'."

Chip slapped his forehead and wiped his face with tremendous embarrassment.

"Mr. Maplewood, I just couldn't. I really appreciate your offer, but I don't think it would be convenient, for me…or Chip."

"Nonsense, Gadget!" said Nikoma, placing a paw on her shoulder. "While we never had a daughter, we would love to have you as part of the family, even if it is only in a 'rent-a-parent' basis."

"Just trying to help you out, son," Chap told him, aside.

"Well, you're not," he growled in response, with one paw still covering his mouth.

"Mr. and Mrs. Maplewood, it's just too much, too soon, really. But I will give it some thought."

Zipper then asked the mousemaid, "Say, Gadget, where were you all this time? The ceremony is about to begin."

"Where was I all this time? Well, I realized after Foxy and I got here that I'd forgotten the cassette player and the music I had picked out—and no, Dale, it's not that one—and so I went back for it. Then as soon as I got it I realized that Dale's wedding is a special enough occasion to wear something special, so I changed clothes. And as for the Ranger Wing, I needed to save time getting back here and besides, I thought Dale and Foxy could have it after the service and the rest of us would fly back in the Ranger Plane…if you know what I mean!" She winked at Dale, who appreciated her thoughtfulness.

Then she asked something that made them all feel uncomfortable. "Er…where is Foxy?"

Dale immediately snapped out of his reverie and began to panic. "Isn't she with you?" he asked with a voice full of anxiety.

"No. I thought she'd be with you guys. Hmmm," she added, "maybe she's still down by the pond where I left her," and she turned her steps that way, with the crowd following her.

It took them no time to return to the exact spot, but Foxglove was not there.

That was bad enough.

But even worse was what was there:

On the very edge of the pond was a flurry of pawprints that could not be clearly made out, as though some sort of struggle had taken place.

And on the dry ground just beyond the mud lay a very fancy envelope.

Dale snatched it up at once and found "The Rescue Rangers" written on the front in calligraphy and an old-fashioned seal on the back holding it shut. He tore the envelope open to find a very expensive looking card that had "On Your Wedding" written in glitter on the front, but the inside of the card had no printed message, being one of those on which the sender writes his own thoughts. It was this that brought him to the pinnacle of despair, for on it in the same beautiful manuscript as appeared on the envelope were the words "You know the place" and a pawprint in ink. There was no doubt whatsoever about what it meant, and Dale let the card drop out of his hands.

After remaining immobile for what seemed like a very long time, he fainted dead away…