This chapter has some Mature-themes in it and there's swearing and well.. it's going to be ugly..
also, I do not own Jonas, even though I own the mikey-ears. I do own Jay, sort of (she's a free spirit) but I'm not sure if she (or Nick) is so happy with that…
Nick: you're an evil person, no cookies to you! Again!
Me: -sigh-
I'll just remember there are things like, super califragilistic expialidocious…
enjoy,
"Nick!? Is that you? Nick, man, we searched everywhere for you! We were worried, bro!"
"Nick? Nick! Are you okay…?"
Jay PoV
Okay, so maybe I hadn't been that nice for the JONAS brat. So what? He should keep his nosy nose out of my business, instead of getting himself into danger. Friends would only make things complicated. Complicated-er, whatever.
Shut it Jay, you don't want to be friends with that annoying, Mr. Look how serious I am, Jonas. Please, even though he's a musician, he's so fake! I do not need his sympathy…
I softly laughed to myself as I recalled his dumbstruck expression when I blew him off, hopefully that would scare him away.
I turned the corner and swallowed as I saw the silhouette of that damned house. Not that I was any less damned, but that did not make it more fun.
"Hi!" Misty said, slightly waving at me. Her dirty brown curls bouncing as she stopped mid-run. I smiled at her, hoping with all my heart she wouldn't get in the misery business I am in right now.
I walked into the house and dumped my bag next to the door, then turning around once, looking back at the street and somehow having the feeling of someone staring at my back.
Hmm… maybe it was Misty.
I walked in, not forgetting to slam the door closed, carefully scanning the area for Matt. He wasn't there, probably upstairs, prepping for the club. Idiot.
I sat down in front of the coffee-table and grabbed my books, to distract me of that naïve boy constantly wondering in my thoughts. Physics distracted me for a while, but half way through Maths, Matt, and the most evil-in-a-bad-way-person on earth, walked down from the stairs. Great, yay me.
"Hello my precious darling." He cooed, a smirk on his face. "Aren't you the sweet little girl?"
I refused to watch up at him and just answered: "Not really, I punched a guy's nose today, it broke."
Matt walked closer, putting his hands on my shoulders, massaging them. "So you're the naughty girl again, huh? Did he touch my property?"
I sighed, unwantedly feeling the muscles in my back relax. "No, he just kept nagging me, eventually called me a whore. So I punched him."
I gritted my teeth as I recalled the look of joy on the guys face as he pestered me. Humans are so vulgar.
"But you are a whore, my cute little freak." He whispered in my ear. Tensing my body up again.
"I'm not a freak, I'm not your whore, I'm not your anything…" I told him.
He grasped my shoulders harder, painfully hard. "Are we being rebellious? You know what we do with rebels, right?" he asked.
"Rape them?"
He smiled, I could feel it. "We punish them." He said, brushing my hair from my face and kissing my neck.
I pulled away roughly.
"Do not talk about we, you bloody bastard, there's only you. Please, just go stick something up your ass." I spat, knowingly crossing the lines as I gathered my books and attempted to put them in my bag.
"You're mine, there's nothing you can do about it and you know it, vixen."
"Never."
"Shut up, little slut!" He then yelled, having used up his patience for today. Something I had hoped for, because it meant it would be over quicker.
His hand collided with my face and then my lower abdomen. I winced as I felt my lip split open, immediately cursing the new evidence of weakness on my face.
"So though, you think you are, huh? Don't worry, I'll break you."
He grabbed my shirt and threw me against the wall. I screamed, once, before I closed my mouth with a snap.
He was with me immediately, holding my hands above my head with one of his hands.
"You're mine!" He growled and ripped my shirt from my torso. His mouth sucking on my collarbone.
"No, please, not again!" I gave up, knowing he might go a little easy on me if I begged him. He liked seeing me beg and it wasn't like I had any sanity left.
"Sorry, vixen." He said, kissing my neck. "God, you taste good. You glow, my vixen."
Tears ran over my face and he kissed them away, the places he touched stinging. "You're so fucking beautiful."
His left-over hand travelled up and down my sides, making a pathetic whimper come over my lips.
I hate him, I hate him, but there's nothing I can do… Even though I tried, I wiggled and wringed, but nothing got me out of his grip. I tried to hurt him, but he was stronger then I was.
I swore I heard something the moment he ripped off my jeans, but I couldn't care less… it had begun, again.
Nick PoV
I didn't understand. A girl like her, so strong and seemingly independent. How could she be used like this? It didn't make any sense, it was madness!
It hurt. Me, on the inside. Even though she was the one being… being raped and abused. It actually stung. The thought about that monster touching, hurting her.
"Nick, c'mon man, what is it?" A voice I barely noticed tried to get my attention.
"I think he's in shock!"
"You think?"
"He's like totally not reacting, something must be wrong."
"Nick? Please, talk to me?"
I focussed on the worried faces of four familiar teenagers.
"Nick?" Macy said again.
"Hey." I cracked and all of them smiled in relief.
"What happened, you were in shock! Are you okay?" Stella asked, as Joe put his hand on my shoulder.
If only Jay had a support system like this.
"I'm fine…" I answered, not even able to smile if I wanted to.
"Are you sure?" Kevin asked. "You don't look fine."
"I'm okay, I swear." I answered tiredly; it felt wrong revealing Jay's secret, even though it was equally wrong to have followed her.
Need to know, Nick, need to know.
Then I though about what must be happening to her now. Nausea rose in my stomach and I felt Stella rub circles on my back.
"Stop that." I said to her. "Sorry, can we just go home, please." I pleaded.
"Sure." She said confused.
Kevin and Joe helped me up from the sidewalk and they all guided me home, even up the stairs until I shoed them away and took a shower. Now not only the sounds from the house were stuck in my memory, but also their worried faces.
I sighed as I stepped into the shower. The hot jets of water relaxed my muscles and I slowly came back to myself.
I knew I had to help her, but I didn't know how…
I raised the drums and fell down on my bed, my hands in my hair as I once again stared up.
Jay…
It was like a record of her name kept replaying in my head. I thought, before my eyes fluttered closed.
Hypnotising green eyes, only a part of her face light up by moonlight. Staring at me, while tears were gliding over scarred skin, looking at me like she wanted me to look, like she dared me. Darkness flaming around her, a wicked smile on her face, her pain surrounding the both of us. Hands, unfamiliar hands, sliding over her body. Her smile disappeared. The hands pulling her away as I ran after her. I wanted to help her, but I couldn't, running didn't work.
Suddenly, I heard music, a guitar. A drum? And then, a voice.
Then she was back, in front of me. Staring at me, this time her face was flawless, no bruises, no scar over her eyebrow. Her hair a natural blonde. She looked normal, herself, happy. She smirked at me, this time with humour as she started to run again, this time on her own behalf. Challenging me, as I ran with her. Trying to catch her, but she sneakily slipped through my fingers every time.
Jay…
Joe PoV
My brother is so weird, first having some sort of a nightmare and now, smiling. Nick! Smiling, of all people, smiling in his sleep.
I wonder what he's dreamin' about. I wondered, observing Nick lying in his bed.
"Is he asleep?" Stella asked, walking up behind me.
"Yeah." I said, smiling at her.
"Any clue to what might've happened to him?" She asked, her hand on my shoulder as we watched my baby brother.
"I only know he disappeared before, while or after talking to that Jay girl."
"You think she had anything to do with it?"
"I don't know. I just hope he's okay right now. It's normal for Nick to just go his own way like that, but he always lets us know when he's out late or has plans. He's Nick, he's responsible like that. I'm…"
"you're feeling responsible aren't you?" She asked, resting her head against my shoulder.
"How can I not, he's my little brother, how much I annoy him or not. I taught him how to draw within the lines!"
She giggled. "Really?"
"Yup, even though he drew better then me and knocked my drawings off the fridge after 3 weeks. I was still proud I was the one teaching him to get his drawings on the fridge."
She laughed for real now. "You're adorable Joe. As is he, when he sleeps." She cocked her head to the side a little. "And when he actually smiles."
"I know and yes, I'm utterly cute."
She hit me on the back of my head, but I just smiled. Standing there, with Stella in the doorway, I realised just how blessed I was. With a baby-brother like that and an older brother like Kevin. My family, my friends. Stella.
Somehow, I realised, that fact had something to do with how Nick acted.
{The next day}
Nick PoV
"Hey guys." I greeted my brothers, who were already seated at the kitchen-table.
"Hey man. Feeling better?" Kevin asked as I sat down next to him. Staring at me over his guitar-shaped eggs.
"mhhm, yeah. Better." I answered, shaking crunchy cats into my bowl.
"Whatever's bothering you, you can tell us, you know?" Joe said, not even glancing at his own cereal.
I sighed. "I know, thanks Joe, but this isn't something I can tell you."
Both my brothers looked at me with concern.
"Is it about that Jay girl?" Joe guessed.
My head shot up. "What?"
Then, they shared a look I knew very well.
"Nick. Are you falling for her?" Kevin asked.
"What?! No! I'm not. That happened like, one time." I reacted. That was so not it.
"Seven times!" They both reacted.
"But that's okay you know. It's just; we don't want you broken again, just like with Penny." Joe added.
"I'm not falling, and certainly not to hard." I told them, slightly annoyed. I couldn't even think about that, my mind was too occupied with the other stuff concerning Jay at the moment.
"We just want to protect you Nick."
Well, maybe I don't want to be protected. Maybe I don't want you guys to always catch me. Maybe I'm falling, but at least I'm falling onto a solid love base, something others can't even imagine. Some people don't even know what love is! I feel blessed that I do! I feel blessed that Love hasn't given up on me! I don't want to be caught, okay. Witch you don't have to because, I'm not crushing on Jay!"
Both of my brothers were staring at me quite dumbstruck. Impressed even, by my long speech.
I sat down, realising I had rose during my rant. "Sorry." I muttered awkwardly.
"That's okay, we totally underst…"
Luckily and once again perfectly timed, Stella and Macy walked in.
"Hey guys." Stella said, dumping a few layers of clothing on the chair Kevin had quickly disappeared from. Macy carrying an even bigger load, her small body disappearing behind it.
"Hi Macy." Kevin said, trying to look around the mountain of clothes.
"Hi, Kevin of Jonas!" Macy squeaked. Then, she dropped the whole load, burying both her and Kevin under it. Joe laughed as Stella eyed it with disapproving.
"Um, guys. Help?" Kevin's muffled voice came from underneath the pile.
"It's your own fault you know." Stella said. "You insist on doing power slides on stage."
That made me finally laugh, a little. Sharing a look with Joe that said: 'it's okay'.
I just hoped she was okay too…
My wrists hurt, the rope tied around it too tight, blood trailing down my arms. I felt miserable, was miserable. I looked down at my body, bruises and strings of red, colouring my paper-white skin. My knees only barely supporting my upper-body. I was naked and it was cold, freakin' freezing. But I couldn't curl up to make myself warm; I couldn't even rub my skin warm. Not that I wanted that after he touched it.
I kept pulling on the robes, even though shots of pain kept shooting through my arms. And the rest of my body for that matter.
I gave up and just hung in my chains. Bounded, like I was bounded to him. In pain, as he hurt me over and over again. Even breathing hurt.
Multiple cuts in my lower exposed abdomen stung as I tried to sit up straight. A cold breeze making me shiver, like the thoughts of him. Everything hurt, everything felt wrong. His touches, his kisses, everything felt so wrong. There was only lust, lust for my pain when he trailed his fingers over my skin. I recalled it all, re-lived it. I wanted to die, for that to finally stop. I deserved death; after all I had been through. I deserved the peace; the warm arms of nothing after life had disappointed me anyway.
I knew Matt was gone, to the club and would get joy out of the thought of me hanging here, still when he would come home and get me.
I started to sing, the notes leaving my lips like so many times before. The melodies easing a little of the pain, I felt my blood pulse on the rhythm of the beat.
Pain shot through my body as I felt the cuts close, the music easing my pain filled thoughts. The bruises paled, till only bleach, flawless skin was left. Warmth ran through my veins, keeping me in a soft embrace, though never as warm as normal human warmth would.
When I was healed and stopped singing, when the music disappeared, my loneliness and misery turned back and I gritted my teeth.
I did not need death, I did not need love.
I had my music, which was enough.
Review my lovely docious aliexpistic franticaly rufus readers (that's, super califragilistic expialidocious backwards)
I adore reviews, just btw..
Now, Nick, gimme back my cookies!