First of all, please let me appologize. I know it's been nearly two years and that is way too long and I am so sorry for that. I know many of you have probably given up on me but I still intend to finish this story, no matter how long it takes. I've just been having a lot of problems that I've been having trouble dealing with and a lot of times I'll admit, I didn't feel like writing and sometimes even couldn't write...er...type. But, I do have this story planned out to the end and as I said, I'll finish it. It might just be at a slower pace than I used to type.
Chapter 3
The door opened, casting light on a previously dark room.
"Go away." a muffled voice growled from the shadowy corner of the room.
Instead of leaving, the person shut the door and lit a candle that was on a desk near the door.
"I said go away." the muffled voice said with slightly less ferocity.
"I'm not going anywhere." the person answered as they sat down on the edge of the bed. Their voice had an unnatural edge to it.
With a huge sigh of reluctance, Nami unburied herself from the sheets and blankets until she came into the dim light. She turned to stare at her intruder.
Robin stared back with unwavering eyes. There was a tinge of anger that was hardly ever present in the woman's eyes.
Nami shrunk back into the folds of blankets, already knowing what was to come.
"Do not attempt to hide. You know why I am here and why I refuse to leave." Robin said with restraint, obviously trying to keep the angry edge from entering her voice as well as her eyes. She knew arguing and anger would get them nowhere. She waited patiently for an answer.
Nami buried herself underneath the blankets anyway. A moment later, her muffled response came. "You know how I feel Robin. You have known all along."
"Yes, I know. I also know that your husband, whom you pledged your eternal love with and even had a child with, is now dead. I also know that you should be mourning him or atleast remembering all the precious moments you shared together and you should be beginning the healing process. I know that instead you threw away his memory as if he were an afterthought and then attempted to seduce a man who is soon to be married. I know all of that." Robin said, a hint of anger entering her voice toward the end. She closed her eyes a moment to regain control. She did not often feel this way and she hated losing control of herself for even a second. That is what anger did though. It took your self control.
After what seemed like hours, Nami's reply came faintly through the blankets and sheets. "Please don't be angry."
Robin softend slightly. She used her hands to remove the covers and toss them to the floor. "Sit up navigator-san and let's talk."
Nami reluctantly did as Robin asked. Now, they were sitting side by side on the bed. Nami refused to meet Robin's eyes.
"I apologize for my rude behavior a moment ago. It was uncalled for." Robin began.
Nami finally looked up and said, "You have every right to be angry with me Robin." She looked away again, unable to meet Robin's gaze as she answered her statement.
"I do but I will not let anger get the best of me navigator-san. I want you to tell me what was going through your head today." Robin answered calmly.
Nami looked up, slightly dazed at the unexpected response. "Robin..." Nami said in barely a whisper. Then, suddenly, she burst into tears. She put her head in her hands and sobbed. Robin waited patiently until she was able to talk. Everything suddenly came out in a rush of tears and gasps but the truth came out. "Robin you don't know what happened. No one knows what really happened. One night I found him and I told him how I felt. He turned me down and then Sanji was there for me and I couldn't hurt him. Then Nathan came and I tried...I really tried! I just couldn't stand it with him around. It hurt so much...but I couldn't leave alone and so I told all of you to leave too. I was horrible Robin! Now Sanji dies and the only reason I cry is because I regretted never being able to give my whole heart to him. I loved him like a brother or a friend but never anything more. I should have told him. I should have never let any of that happen. He would be alive if he wasn't protecting me. He died for a love that was fake. Then earlier, I couldn't help myself. I felt so guilty but at the same time I was free once again to chase what my heart wanted. I thought I needed something to distract me and since he had been looking after me this week...I thought he might feel differently now...but no. He loves her and I love him. Such a horrible predicament that I should never have acted on. I'm a horrible person Robin." She hung her head and waited in the heavy silence for Robin's answer.
Finally, Robin said slowly and thoughtfully, "I should have guessed it but you are good at hiding your true feelings. I do no condone what you did but I cannot help but admire your dedication to a relationship you had no desire to be in. Cook-san died believing you loved him and in your own way, you did. Your other love overshadowed your true feelings for cook-san and don't tell me you did not love him at all. If you hadn't, your dedication would not have been so strong, regardless of the situation. However, you cannot continue to intrude on captain-san's relationship with princess-san or the crew will soon be divided. I am at a loss as to what to tell you to do about your feelings but do not act on them. Try to heal and hold on to the love for your son and your friends right now. That is the best advice I can offer."
Nami nodded slowly. "That makes sense. And you are right. I did love Sanji, just...not as much as I love Luffy. I guess that was enough though, and atleast I made him happy during the time he was alive and I have a wonderful son who I love and friends who care about me. That is enough. Time may not change how I feel but it will teach me how to deal with it. Thank you Robin." Nami said. With this last sentence, she looked up and gave Robin a weak smile.
Robin returned the smile but then suddenly frowned. "It is fine that you have settled your problems but there is still one matter that must be resolved. You need to talk to captain-san and princess-san." Robin said seriously.
Nami closed her eyes and rubbed her temple with one hand. "I know." she replied quietly. "I know."
"Good. I expect you to do so soon or I fear things will get out of control. Good luck." Robin said. Then she stood up and left the room, leaving Nami to her thoughts and decisions.
"She's right. I need to go now and work this out. Tell Vivi it was just a misunderstanding and that it wasn't Luffy's fault. Then I need to tell Luffy how I feel and then tell him I do not plan to interfere anymore." Nami thought. Her mind made up, she stood up and went to carry out her plan.
"First thing is to find Vivi and avoid Luffy at all costs." Nami thought. Then, as an afterthought, "Actually, it would probably be better to avoid the whole crew right now. I don't think I'm on the best terms with any of them..."
Nami quickly made her way to the one place she knew Vivi would be. One place even Luffy would not go. The womens' cabin. Without pausing to knock(after all, this had been her room at one point), she flung the door open and found the cabin well lit. Robin had not returned here yet and as she scanned the room, she found what, or more precisely who, she was looking for curled up in a ball on the bed in the far, left, back corner. Vivi's bed.
"Knock knock." Nami said in an attempt to lighten the mood. Her voice came out weak and shaky, though, and ruined the effect. She shut the door and walked over to sit at Robin's desk(her old one), which sat next to Vivi's bed. She pulled the chair out and giggled nervously, a smile that matched the giggle appeared on her face. "Um...Vivi...can we...you know...heh...talk?" she asked just as nervously as her giggle and smile had been.
Vivi didn't move or respond in any way.
Nami closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Calm down." she thought to herself. "You expected this." She opened her eyes and looked toward Vivi. "Vivi...please. I feel horrible and I want a chance to explain things. Just give me two minutes and then after that you can kick me out and hate me forever. Okay?"
Still no response from Vivi's side. Nami paused briefly to make sure she was still breathing.
Nami sighed and continued anyway. "Fine. If you're not going to do anything about it, then I'm just going to sit here and explain because I know you can hear me. First of all, this has nothing to do with Luffy. It was my fault. I caught him off guard and kissed him and...well...you saw the rest. Second of all, don't go blaming him. He still loves you. I know he does because...he didn't kiss me back. He knew it was wrong and I think he wished it was you holding him captive instead. Vivi...don't let me break up the wonderful relationship you have with Luffy. I was lonely and my brain has been clouded over so don't let my momentary lapse of judgement do that. Talk to him. Please don't hate him for something stupid I did." Nami pleaded. Then thought, "It's best not to tell her that I love him as much as she does. It would only complicate things."
Vivi finally stirred. When she rose, she looked at Nami with cold, dead eyes. "Get out and never come back." she said in a low, threatening voice.
Nami's eyes widened and she cringed away from Vivi. Never before had she seen Vivi like that, heard her icy voice. Never. "Vivi...please..." she begged in a whisper.
"I will not tell you twice. I never want to see you again so just leave. I hate you." she hissed.
Nami stood. "Fine. Hate me. Just don't let it destroy your relationship with the best man you will ever have!" With that, she turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
Vivi just stood where she was, a look of cold hatred on her normally calm face.
Out in the hallway, Nami leaned against the door to the girls cabin, silently cursing herself for losing her temper. After all, Vivi had every right to hate her. She, on the other hand, had no reason to be angry.
"Don't worry navigator-san. She will come around. For now, I suggest you talk to captain-san. Perhaps you will find he is more cooperative." Robin suggested.
Nami looked up, startled. She had not heard Robin approaching but then again, she had been so wrapped up in her own thoughts, she probably would have missed the ship sinking. "Robin, what do I do if he won't listen?" she finally asked helplessly.
"Then atleast you have tried to right your wrongs." Robin replied. "Sometimes, that's all you can do."
Nami sprang to her feet. "All I can do is not good enough!" she cried. "After everything I did! I can't let this happen! This crew will not be divided on my account! Not again!" With that, she stormed off past Robin toward the hatch that led above-decks.
Robin smiled as she watched her go. "I knew that would work." she thought. "Now, I will be the one to reason with princess-san." She pushed open the door to the cabin and went inside, shutting the door behind her.
Meanwhile, Nami had made it to the top deck. There was one place she was certain Luffy would be. Sure enough, as she approached the bow of the ship, she saw him sitting cross-legged on the lion's head, his back to her. She came up behind him and when he did not turn around, she cleared her throat loudly. When he still did not answer, she started timidly, "Uh...Luffy...could I talk to you...please?"
"Go away." he said in a dead voice unlike any Nami had heard before.
"No." she said more forcefully.
"Fine. Stand there if you want." he said. "I won't talk to you."
"You already are." Nami pointed out.
There was silence.
Nami closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Hate me if you want. I don't care. If you won't speak to me, atleast speak to Vivi. She needs you Luffy."
A moment of silence passed before Luffy turned around. There were tears in his eyes. "I've lost her again Nami, haven't I?"
"No Luffy." Nami said quietly, shocked at this change. "You haven't lost her. You just have to go after her. Don't let her go. Make her see that you love her and what happened with us was a mistake. You have to."
Luffy lowered his head. When he raised it up to meet Nami's eyes, his tears had been replaced by a deep understanding gaze. "What happened before you left...that hasn't changed, has it?"
Nami knew what he was talking about, yet was reluctant to answer. "Yes." she finally said. "It hasn't changed. I have, though. I know it can never be and so I will never bother you again. That's why...that's why I'm leaving this crew."
Luffy's eyes widened. "You...you can't do that Nami. You're my friend!"
"Oh Luffy...please don't say that," Nami begged. "It will only make this harder to do."
Luffy jumped down off the lion's head and took Nami firmly by the shoulders. "Listen to me. I don't care what happened. That doesn't matter. I'm not losing any more nakama!"
Nami felt tears begin in the corners of her eyes but she forced them back down and in the most calm voice she could manage said, "I have to Luffy. If you care about Vivi and you want her back, this is what you have to let me do. Me and Nathan will go back to the All Blue and manage the resturant. All of you can visit us there. You do still have the eternal compass I gave you before we left, don't you? I'll be fine but as long as you keep me around, Vivi will never forgive you."
There was pain in Luffy's eyes but he slowly nodded his head. "If that's the way it has to be, then so be it."
Nami fought ever harder against the tears as she thought, "So there is the most honest answer I'll ever get. He's willing to give up a crewmember to save his relationship with Vivi. He can never love me and so it truly is better if I go, for both of us." She looked up into his eyes one last time, then slowly turned and walked away to gather her things.
A bit much? I kind of feel like this chapter is a little...I don't know, heavy? Maybe a little bit over-dramatic? Trust me though, it was neccesary for what comes next. You'll see. ^_-