To my opinion, mind goes over body, and in my case it does. To me, my mind is the only thing that keeps me sane, keeps me from breaking down into a sobbing pile of broken soul. It is the only thing that keeps me cool and emotion-less, when I need to be.
I know it's a shield, as Nick, sweet and caring Nick, has told me. But there's only so much a human body can handle, a human mind can take.

I was staring out the window of my room, finally alone, once again alone, after he dragged me to the his bed with him, saying that would warm me up after that damned shower. He had enjoyed my pain as he had his wicked way with me. Whispering what I had to do tomorrow in my ear.
I stared at the steadily falling raindrops, not getting warm in the monsters' big bathrobe. Not even after the warm shower.
I realised I missed my new rock, my new shield against the emotions, Nick. I didn't understand why I had grown so attached to him. But the talking at school and the walks to this place were the highlights of my day. To him I could talk, at least a little bit. In his arms, just a few days ago, I had felt truly warm.
We talked, but I couldn't tell him everything, because it would get him in danger. But him just being there was enough; the idea of him waiting for me at school was enough to pull me through the nights and made me able to stand up in the morning, instead of staying in bed like a dead body.

I watched the rain-drops slide down the glass and wondered. Are there as many raindrops as tears I have shed, alone, behind closed doors? Are there as many raindrops as the times he has used me, hurt me, beat me and yelled at me? Are there as many raindrops as the days I am away from the place I once called home?

I turned around, not able to answer the questions. I walked over to the bed, my hands absent-mindedly tugging on the collar around my neck. The symbol of Matt's dominance over me.

I curled up between the sheets, trying not to think about all the things that happened here and instead just thought about Nick, waiting for me at my locker.

Nick's PoV

Like every-day, I waited for her at her locker. It was wonderful to see the mask fall, just for a few seconds, when she saw me and realised, again, I really was there.
Just the way her footsteps got a little lighter, it meant the world at that moment.

I realised I must have the same reaction, as my features immediately relaxed as I saw her, safe and apparently unharmed, as far as I knew and of course, I knew she was far from unharmed. But she was there, alive and walking towards me.

My hand reached out, in a natural reaction and our fingertips brushed, in the same way as that day in the atrium. Somewhere, I must've let my defences down, because I felt her pain radiating off her, today more then another.

"What happened?" I asked. Not even asking 'if'.

"The usual." She answered.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" I pushed it.

"No." came her short reply. "Now stop pushing. I do not really enjoy you talking anyway."

There it was again. The witty, snappy side of her. The part that showed how strong and independent she was, even with the collar I hated so much around her neck.

She started walking again and I felt a sharp pang in my chest, like a bullet, as I realised just why she wore long-sleeves. To hide the scars. Just why she painted her hair red, because he loved her natural blonde.
And I knew she was letting me go on purpose, she didn't want me close. Even though we both knew she needed me.

I sighed and started to walk in the other direction; bumping into what was my older-brother.

"You ever think of just turning around?" Joe asked. Staring over my shoulder, at where Jay must be walking.

"Not really." I wondered.

"You're to kind for your own good, you know, she's in some deep shit." He said, flicking his hair out of his face.

"That's what she told me." I sighed. "It's just. I see the fire in her. It's still there, there's something in her. I'll do anything to feed that fire."

"Even though you might burn yourself?"

"Even though I might burn myself."

He smiled. "That's my brother. Now, about me and Kev finding out about what exactly is happening to her." He said, swinging an arm over my shoulder and walking with me, us having geography the first hour together.

"Yes, about that. I thought about it." I told him.

"Me too. We're on the same level, bro." Joe laughed.

"I think it's a bad idea."

"I know! I mean, huh?" Joe came to a halt, turning to face me. "What do you mean? I thought we were on the same level?"

"We are, somewhat. It's just. It's dangerous; Jay made it as clear as that." I said, trying to walk past my brother with an apologetic smile, but he stopped me.

"Hey, you're the one that wants to help her, as to we, right?"

"That is true, but I don't want anyone getting hurt, including Jay."

"We can do this, Nick. You can count on us." He argued, not understanding.

"Jay does everything, sacrificed her own sanity, to not tell me, to not get it off her shoulders and get me safe. It seems like a pretty pathetic payback to go and sneak on her." I shot back.

"You can't just watch, you're not like that. If you want to help her, then why don't you want to find out what is hurting her?" He asked. "I don't get you Nick; she's messing with your head."

Yes, she was. So incredibly messing with my head. But I can't help it.

"I know."

He watched me and then pulled me into a hug. At first, I struggled, but then relaxed in my older brothers' comforting arms.
"She's hard on you isn't she?"

"Not she. The burn is just uncomfortable. The worry puts me through worse then the purgatory" I answered and then stepped away, both of us walking to class.

{Maths}

"Hey." I said, dumping my bag next to the red-head in the back. Her body not even wincing like she did when others got close to her.

"Hi." She said. Our fingers touching for a few seconds before we sat down in our advanced-math class. It was one of the few classes we shared, including English and music-history.

"You ok?" I whispered. I understood most of the math the teacher would be explaining today and I was sure Jay did to, so it was okay to softly talk.

"I'm great, absolutely fantastic." She answered. "But I don't want to brag, especially not in class."

The message was clear. 'Not here'.

"Okay." I agreed and instead asked about her favourite season.

"Spring." Was her absolute answer.

"Why?"

"Because it stands for new beginnings after the death of winter. It is the time of year everything gets colour, stops being black and grey. It's the season of hope and nature." She answered. Her green eyes settling on mine, a soft smile on her face.

"True. Favourite flower?" I asked.

"Why, aren't you talkative all of a sudden" She told me.

"Well?" I said, choosing to ignore her comment.

"The white star of Bethlehem."

I smiled surprised; this girl surprised me every time again. There were these two sides of her, the tough, protective of herself, seductive and tempting side, daring and dark. Then there was her lighter, sweeter side. Tender, graceful and creative.

Her green orbs went back to her books and I noticed she wasn't doing math.

"Already done with the assignment?" I guessed.

"Bing-go." She popped her lips.

I looked at her hands and the silver-black pen her fingers held. She was writing in a medium-sized, worn notebook. Her other hand fingering the collar around her neck. It wasn't loving, like you saw a lot of girls do with necklaces. It was almost scratching, an absent mined attempt to get it off, knowing she wouldn't succeed.

"What are you writing?" I asked, picking up my pencil myself.

"Stuff."

There it was again, the mysterious, almost mean attitude. So tempting to ask, even tough I knew I shouldn't.

"But what exactly?" I continued.

She shot me an annoyed, half-amused look and tossed me the notebook. Leaning back into her chair, stretching her muscles with a slightly pained look.

I looked down, reading what was in front of me and raised my eye brows, turning pages, faster after another.

All throughout the notebook were little poems, lyrics, chapters of stories and seemingly random thoughts. The songs were sad, angry sometimes. A sound of desperation and deeply melancholic Apparently, she had found a way to wave her own pain through them and well, they were good.

Then, the last page.

My world, my hopes and dreams. It said.
So shattered to pieces. Destroyed.
At once as it seems.
Something I don't want to avoid.

These four lines. Just these few words, showed what she had been hiding. A little hope. Hope.

I closed my eyes and made a desicion. No, I couldn't just watch. I wanted to help her. I had to help her.

"They're good." I told her. Immediately feeling the notebook being snatched away.

"No they're not." She whispered. "They're mine."

At that moment, the bell rang.

"Thanks anyway." She said. Brushing my hand with her fingertips in a gesture of gratitude.

"One last question."

She smiled. Stuffing the notebook in her bag. "Sure."

"Why the white star of Bethlehem?" I said, swinging my own over my shoulder and rolling up my sleeves.

"Because it stands for hope." She smiled. "Oh and Nick"

I was taken back by her simple answer. "Yes?"

"Don't walk with me today."

Her face was sad. Her eyes apologetic.
I knew, some where deep down in a place no-one really can describe, that something was wrong.

She walked away. Leaving me be, so I would be safe, but right now, I was feeling anything but safe.
I was going to break a promise.

{After school}

"Kevin! Joe! Macy! Stella!" I yelled through the hallways, four heads by our lockers looking up to see me running towards them.

"Guys. I need your help." I panted and looked at their surprised faces, a chorus of: "of course, what is it?" making a mile come to my face, confusing them more.

{And so}

"C'mon." I whispered, hiding once again, behind a corner. Followed by Macy and Kevin, Joe and Stella given the task of checking out the house, if empty, try to find out more.

The three of us, were currently following Jay, a difficult task, seeing she saw and heard right about everything.

As I had suspected, she didn't go to her house. (Otherwise, I would've gone with her like every day, asking her more stupid questions)

Instead, she walked downtown, or rather, she walked parallel to downtown.

"Where is she going?" Kevin thought out loud.

"Don't know, but she seems to be going towards the clubs down there, pretty nasty ones, if you ask me." Macy answered, once again showing her knowledge of the city we lived in, even though I had came to the same conclusion.

We were currently walking through a busy street.

"Keep close!" I warned my friends. "And keep an eye on Jay; we could lose her in this hectic mass."

Both my companions with almost the same shade of hair nodded, following in my track.

Jay was walking about 15 feet in front of us, her fiery hair bouncing. Her hands in her pockets, walking to the beat of some music playing.
The music was kind of strange, something I had never head before and from experience I knew only popular music was played at fairs/events like this. I had been to way to many with our mom.

Eventually, we reached the end of the streets, where a shabbier part of the city began, making me wonder how I always ended up in places like this.

Strangely, the music kept playing, even though we were far past the fair and I saw Kevin glance back a few times to, indicating he noticed it also.

Jay stopped at a red painted door, red light shining through the glass. It was a fancy building, very large and rich looking. I saw her take a breath and then walk in, though not through the front-doors, but a door a little bit more to the side. Black instead of the fancy white of the building. Almost castle-like.

I wanted to proceed, but Kevin stopped me. "Hold it. Watch."

From the door Jay had just walked in stepped a woman and I had to really focus on her to see, darkness falling quickly.
The woman was very… strangely dressed. A tight corset-like thing around her torso, black latex shorts and high-heeled boots. Shortly said, she was dressed like a prostitute.

"A hooker?" Macy bluntly asked, astonished.

"I think so." Kevin added. "But I'm not… sure."

Suddenly, a man walked around the corner, hands in his pockets and his head almost buried in his collar. He walked quickly, through the front doors of the 'club'.

"Definitely a hooker." Macy noted.

My face must've betrayed me, because Macy leaned her head on my shoulder, while Kevin rubbed my arm.

I couldn't believe it. Jay, innocent yet completely insane Jay, who put me through hell the last couple of days and yet made me fell very… good. A hooker.

No. Never.

Then it hit me.

"That bastard!" I spat. Getting confused looks from both Macy and Kevin. "He is forcing her into prostitution! The monster, that's why she's been so off today, god she's in so much deep shit!" I was really angry now, how could he do this to her. How could she do this to herself!

"She's so stupid, how in the name of heaven does she put up with this." I continued to rant. Starting to walk towards the building and if needed drag her out of there, but got once again stopped by Kevin.

"Nick, use your head. Even though that's a weird sentence from me to say to you, of all people. It's dangerous there!"

As if on cue, the doors opened again. The body of someone thrown out and a scream of: 'don't show your fucking face here ever again!' following.

"I'm not letting you go in there." Kevin said, almost commanding. "I'm not letting my little brother go into a building, a dirt-hole like that!"

I let my shoulders hang. "You're right Kev, I shouldn't…" Then, when he was caught off-guard. I turned around and ran for it.

"Nick!" he yelled, but I knew he wouldn't follow and he knew it too. Macy was once again my saviour.

I tried the black-door, the one she had went through, but it was locked. For a second, I stood watching it, like it would open if I would stare at it, then; I turned to the large white doors. Took a deep breath and walked in.

What I saw, was nothing I had expected. It wasn't dirty and sweaty inside. It was large and smokey, yes. But it was also, classy and rich-bastardish. Large, stretched couches covered the sides of the room, small tables covering the space between that and the large stage and cat-walk in the centre of the room. Everywhere, adolescent and some mature boys and girls were dancing. On tables, poles and laps and naturally on the stage. All having one thing in common; they were very barely dressed and wore collars around their necks. Some even having leashes and other kinky-stuff.

There were men, a lot of them. Very wealthy-dressed, or the contrary, but they were there, lusty glances and a lot of touching to the barely-dressed and crawling bodies.

I was disgusted, on the edge of vomiting as I gazed at this scene. Because this wasn't prostitution of free will. I could see that from their collars and the strong looking bouncers watching them. To make sure they weren't hurt to badly, the expensive silver indicating they were of value and to make sure they did their work.

I shuddered as a skinny-guys stare fell on me and turned around, towards the stage.

That's when I saw her. On stage. Flaming red hair, red skin and startling green eyes and covered in black-silky fabric.

She was beautiful, astonishing. The scarves wrapped around her slim body as she moved to the music in a hypnotizing way. Long ribbons travelling and twirling behind her.
Her voice singing to the music, beautiful and intoxicating. Mysterious and innocent. Dangerous and flaming and I realised this was what she was supposed to do. Not the prostitution thing, but the singing, the dancing, the way she moved. It was astonishing.
The expression on her face was that of pain, but that only strongened the effect of her performance. I couldn't take my eyes of her.

Matt PoV

On a boring day like this, what is better then to see my little vixen suffer? Making her do what she hated so much?

Only one thing; a new pray. And what a beautiful prey I had found, the master would be pleased if I brought this one in. He was handsome and pretty in an innocent way, his expression disgusted by what he saw after he half-ran into the club. I suspected he had a sister or something that was taken by a lover boy.
His black curls, something I wanted to run my hands through and tug, contrasted with his only slightly olive skin, chocolate-eyes to finish the beautiful face.
He was tall and a little muscled, but not too much, exactly right. Slim, with pursed, plump lips to finish. How beautiful would they scream?

I had a new prey, which willingly jumped in my vision. He shuddered under my stare, not really seeing me, watching my beautiful slave on stage.
I smiled, baring my teeth. Let the hunt begin.

Cliff-hanger! Long time no see!
Well… that was a heavy chapter… -wipes sweat from forehead- can any of you guess what I used for inspiration??
Once again, vote for my poll! Should I change this to M?? Or review/PM me with your answer and what you thought of the story!

LOVE TO THE NEW NICK J CD!!
~silver