Disclaimer: If I owned it I wouldn't have debt
Warnings: Nothing much for this one, language and M/M attraction, but will that warn you away or entice you in?

Chapter 3. Troubled Voices

"Well," Zack extemporized frantically. "Aerith said she can sometimes hear the planet, at least she thinks it's the planet, it's kinda hard to tell, and, if she can hear it being part Cetra, then maybe you can too. If Jenova was an Ancient like Hojo claims, or was based on an Ancient, or just something Ancient related, then you would have some Cetra in you and maybe the planet is trying to talk to you. Or something." He trailed to a stop, almost... "It would give me a headache."

He then fixed his CO with his best 'eager and anxious puppy' look and waited for him to respond.

Sephiroth knew that look. He knew that Zack could continue that look for a very long time, and that curt answers and rude brush-offs wouldn't discourage him. Its very familiarity helped clear up his oddly wavy memories and he remembered the proper reaction to this look of Zack's, or at least, the only one that worked. He sighed, a small, put-upon sigh, and then General Sephiroth, SOLDIER First Class, Operational Commander of Shin-Ra's Armed Forces and the Demon of Wutai, surrendered.

"Yes," he confirmed. "I am hearing voices. Just one, a female, and have been almost since we arrived in Nibelheim."

"Is she telling you how to grow flowers?" Zack asked facetiously. Nobody could do innocent stupidity like Zack Fair. "What?" he protested when two pairs of different, but equally amazing, eyes stared at him in horrified amusement, "Aerith is always going on about flowers and shrubs, and that kinda green shit."

"No, Zachary. She's not talking about growing things."

"Is it, the voice, I mean..." Cloud hated the way the words were stumbling out, but this was a weird situation. It was hard to wrap his head around it. "Is she the one telling you to destroy the planet - take vengeance and all that?" They already knew the answer but Sephiroth nodded anyway. "And she, it, the voice claims to be your mother?"

"Yes."

Cloud shared a disbelieving look with his dark-haired friend. "That's just not right, sir. You have to live here too."

Zack's response was somewhat less tactful. "I'm sorry, boss, but your 'mom' is completely batfuck. You know that, right?" The general continued to rub at his temples and Cloud, again driven by some instinct he couldn't identify, moved behind him and began to massage his tight neck and shoulders. A piece of impertinence that he couldn't believe he was perpetrating even as he was doing it.

His instinct was good.

As soon as he drew near, Jenova's voice dimmed in Sephiroth's mind. As soon as he touched skin it faded to almost nothing. For the first time in two days, Sephiroth could hear his own thoughts clearly. There was none of his mother's bludgeoning invective and continual wailing. The relief was so great that nothing, not Odin himself appearing from on high, could've stopped the moan that escaped his mouth.

Zack raised his eyebrows, a lecherous leer appearing on his face. "Oh, I see how it is. Do you two want to be alone?"

Every part of Cloud's head flushed, from ear tip to collarbone. What was he thinking? Horrified, he lifted his hands, readying himself to move far, far away.

Sephiroth was quicker. Without looking, he reached up, grabbed the youth's small, but so strong and talented hands, and put them back on his neck.

"Ignore him. He didn't mean to embarrass you. He just didn't think before making the comment. A common problem of his."

Zack did indeed look apologetic. "Sorry, Spike, but that was the most erotic sound I've heard all week. It gave me ideas."

"But I thought you liked women. I mean, you've got Aerith."

"Yeah, but I'd make an exception for Sephiroth. I mean, who wouldn't?"

"Fair," the general warned.

"Just wanted you to know the offer's still on the table, sir. Or the bed. Or even this desk for that matter." Oh, his little naïve friend was so much fun to watch, with his wide-eyed amazement at what Zack said, and the light blushes that made him look even more adorable.

"Commander Fair."

Zack grinned but held up his hands in surrender.

"Maybe you should call Ms. Gainsborough. Perhaps she would indulge your persistent forays into prurient fantasy." Sephiroth had his eyes closed. His voice was a lazy purr, which could mean he was relaxed or that he was about to strike. Considering how he was leaning into Cloud's massage Zack was guessing the former.

"Hey! They're perfectly good fantasies. Maybe not very original, but…."

"Zack. Would it help redirect your thoughts to know that Corporal Strife's touch blocked out Jenova's voice?"

Cloud stopped moving. "It does?" he squeaked. Again. You'd think he was fourteen and just hitting puberty. Although touching Sephiroth had made a certain part of his anatomy act as if they were fourteen with all the hormonal overloads that came with puberty. He really, really, hoped that he didn't have to move from behind the general.

"Hmm," he agreed, "I hadn't realized how overwhelming her voice was until you stopped it. If you would expand your massage to between my shoulder blades as well, I would appreciate it." Cloud obeyed, his mind staggered and blank. He was blocking Jenova's voice? It was almost better to think of that than the fact that touching the general had given him an erection.

"Do you feel more like yourself?" Zack asked.

"I hardly know what that is anymore, Commander. Those things at the reactor…" He trailed off.

"Had nothing to do with you as a person, Seph. It's not what you're body's made of that makes you human, it's what you do, and think and let yourself feel. Hojo's more of a monster than you'll ever be, because he made those things, out of human beings, and he probably didn't even flinch."

"One moment, Strife," the general murmured. "I can barely feel your hands. I believe my coat is too thick."

He moved the blond's hands to his neck then undid straps and harness as he sat. Unfortunately, he would have to disturb the corporal's work to take off the coat. He stood up, pulling away from Cloud and the voice was immediately back, louder and more insistent than ever. She knew something was stopping him from hearing her and she wasn't happy.

Sephiroth nearly hunched over at the renewed onslaught, but he managed to remove his coat and sit back down and then, blessed relief, as Strife resumed the massage and her voice was driven away.

A breath: to gather himself, to shield himself behind a calm facade. What had they been discussing? Oh, yes. "I killed hundreds in Wutai, maybe thousands." He gathered his hair and pulled it over one shoulder so it wouldn't interfere.

Cloud's brain stuttered, ohmuhgod. He'd never thought of himself as liking men that way until he'd met the general.

"On a battlefield, in a declared war, is a little different than hidden away in some secret lab." Zack didn't say anything but he'd seen the little hesitation when Cloud's hands had stopped touching him. He'd known it was bad, but this wasn't just a mental breakdown. His friend was under attack by a creature that called herself his mother. It wasn't a physical assault – Sephiroth could've countered that. No, this was an assault on Sephiroth's sanity and on the essence of him, his personality, his honour.

Zack was so fucking glad he hadn't stayed at the inn. And that he'd brought Cloud with him. He wondered what it was about the little blond that blocked her out like that. Would anybody's touch work, or was it only Cloud's? He'd have to explore the possibilities later.

Cloud was having his own problems. Confronted with a vast expanse of alabaster skin over large, taut muscles, he froze. He was touching that smooth, oh so silky skin, but not moving. Ohmuhgod. He was touching Sephiroth. The Silver General who (to his mortified enjoyment) had been showing up in his sleeping fantasies since Zack had introduced them at the SOLDIERs' Mid-Winter Night party. Maybe the general had shown up in some of his daydreams as well but those were tame compared to the other. He often woke up sticky from one of those. Cloud was sure he wasn't gay but...but…. Maybe it was like Zack said and General Sephiroth was a special case.

"Please continue, corporal," The general instructed, so Cloud did. He wanted to keep it professional; he'd die if the general found out that he was just like those fanboys the SOLDIERs laughed at. He made his touch firm and efficient, and instead of thinking how silky, soft that beautiful skin was – ohmuhgod – he concentrated on finding and working at all the tense, muscle knots that just had to be painful.

"And you wouldn't have killed that many if the Wutai didn't believe death was better than surrender. Even when they knew they'd lost they still kept throwing themselves at you."

"I know what you believe, Commander," Sephiroth began.

"Yeah, but you never listen." Zack waved it away. "Never mind, it's an old argument."

Silence, a rare occurrence around the black-haired SOLDIER, descended on the small group. As was normal, when he had no other outlet for his energy, Zack did squats, but that didn't occupy him long.

"Is there anything to eat down here?" he asked.

"I didn't look," the general responded.

Zack came out of his squat slowly, horrified astonishment on his face. "You didn't look? Didn't you get hungry? Have you eaten anything?"

"Not particularly and I don't remember." Normally, Sephiroth would have been more careful in his response, but the massage he was receiving from the young corporal had relaxed him so much that his mind was drifting. It didn't help that his mind was drifting to the feel of strong fingers, and the scent of a young man's body. Making it worse was the olfactory evidence that young Strife was also aroused. "If you would move your hands a little to the right, corporal… the other right."

"Shit, Seph! You haven't eaten for two friggin' days?"

Sephiroth frowned. Had it been that long?

"No wonder you were cranky. You need some food." Zack patted his pockets for the chocolate bar he'd stuffed in there in case of emergencies. Then he remembered he'd eaten it yesterday.

"I have some MREs in my pack," Cloud offered.

Zack snorted. "I wanted food but I guess those'll have to do." He went over and dug through Cloud's backpack. "I can't believe you were so foolish, Seph. You, of all people, should know that you have to eat regularly or bad things happen."

Cloud's hands froze. "Bad things? What do you mean, 'bad things'?" Sephiroth, lying on folded arms on the desk, shifted unhappily and, growled? reminding the trooper to continue with the massage.

"Should I answer that, Seph?"

The general, satisfied again now that Cloud's hands were moving, flapped a lazy hand at his 2IC. Zack was surprised his fearsome boss wasn't purring, he looked so much like a contented cat. He smiled at the image of a kitty Seph curled up in Cloud's lap. It would have long, silver fur, of course and Cloud would have the same wide, scared eyes, wondering if it really was safe to pet it.

"SOLDIER treatments affect the metabolism," Zack explained. "If the injections 'take', then your system works harder than it did before. Faster nervous system, higher metabolism."

"You're always warm," Cloud said, enlightened. On the mission to Modeoheim, Cloud had been near freezing a couple times, but Zack had looked like he was strolling the beach at Costa del Sol. "Is that why SOLDIER uniforms are short sleeved?"

"That, and it looks cool," Zack puffed out his chest and stuck a pose. "How can chicks resist this?"

"Idiot," Sephiroth murmured without heat.

'Yup,' Zack thought. 'Definitely should be purring.' He shook the food pack, initiating its self-heat module, which brought the goo up to nearly room temperature.

"So what's the downside? 'Cuz there's always a downside," Cloud asked.

"Oh, so young to be so jaded," Zack sighed in mock despair. He put the MRE down in front of his CO. "Grub, Seph." With an unhappy sigh, the Demon of Wutai sat up and looked at the unappetizing mass. Cloud's hands naturally moved higher with the change in position, and he went to work on the general's upper arms.

Zack, watching his movements, thought it looked more like a caress than a massage. Zack knew Cloud had a crush on the general. He was just quieter about it than most people. Then again, Cloud was quieter about most things although Zack was working on that.

The black-haired SOLDIER looked at his two best friends, the way they were positioned so close to each other, the dreamy looks on their faces. Cloud was crushing on Sephiroth who (it looked like) was more than willing to be crushed. That was good considering he'd be willing to bet a body part that the corporal had a stiffy.

"The downside is that in order to sustain that level of metabolic activity we have to eat almost constantly." He was back in Cloud's pack, pulling out another MRE, which he prepped and placed in front of the general.

"Ooh," Cloud smirked. "I thought you were just, y'know, a pig."

"Brat. We eat even more after a fight. When the mako kicks in the calories just disappear. We can lose two, even five kilos in a single battle. So you can see, it's dangerous for one of us not to eat."

"So, the general not having eaten for two days is a bad thing, even though he hasn't fought anyone."

"There was that showdown with Genesis." Sephiroth's back tensed and his face closed up. Zack saw it and knew why it happened. "I'm so sorry, Seph. I was sure he'd fallen and died. If I'd even suspected anything else, I would have told you, I swear. I know he was a friend of yours."

"It's not your fault, Commander. Genesis always was clever." His tone announced that the subject was closed. Further painful reminders would not be tolerated.

Rubbing a hand over his face, Zack couldn't disagree with the sentiment. The asshole had had a wing even before Modeoheim. How could he have forgotten that little fact? He went back to the previous topic – it was neutral and safe.

"What it means, in the end, is that Seph's probably used up his reserves. He'll start losing muscle mass and strength; he'll lose his temper quicker and be more forgetful; and the more of his reserves he uses up, the more he'll need to draw on the mako, and the more reserves he'll need. Vicious cycle."

"That doesn't sound good." Cloud closely examined the back, exposed so enticingly beneath his hands, for any signs of deterioration.

"It isn't. And this shit they give you normal troopers will barely meet what he needs now let alone rebuild what he's used up. We need to get him back to the inn and stuff him full of real food. As much as the kitchen can provide while Spike here watches all big-eyed and amazed, because if you think I eat a lot, wait until you see the general in feeding frenzy." Zack laughed. "Then we'll crash for eight solid and come back here tomorrow to deal with all this–" He waved his hand around. "–stuff. So, we should head out."

"That sounds like an order, commander," Sephiroth snarled. Because of the snarl, he realized Zack was correct. His temper was becoming short if he was growling at his 2IC. As predicted, the MREs of which he'd already eaten three, were entirely unsatisfactory. Unfortunately, they had awakened his appetite which was demanding more – much more.

"Yes, sir. It is. Operational regulations state: 'If ever the health; physical, mental or other, of the Mission Commander is in question, the Second-in-Command and the Adjutant can order procedures, action or other, for the good of the mission.'"

"I don't have an adjutant." Sephiroth gave in to the impulse to lean his head back onto Cloud Strife's chest. The scent was stronger here. It was relaxing and he could almost ignore his stomach's clamour for more. He closed his eyes and settled deeper into the chair.

Zack nearly burst out laughing at the mix of emotions on his small friend's face: horror, excitement, ecstasy and panic, were a few he recognized. "Sure you do. Adjutants are babysitters. They make themselves available as required and take care of the mission commander's basic needs, Kinda like what Spikey's doing right now. Ergo, Cloud is your de facto adjutant. And he agrees with me."

"So many large words, Zack. I'm impressed. Obviously Corporal Strife is a good influence on you." Then he purred, "Do you agree with the commander, Corporal Strife?"

Cloud's hands paused, eliciting a demanding shrug from the general. "If the situation can get as dire as Zack says then, I have to agree with him, sir. The books aren't going anywhere, and well, you need to eat, sir. Before something happens we all regret."

"Hmm. A bit lower please, corporal." Cloud moved his hands as directed. He was massaging nearly at Sephiroth's elbows now, bent so low over the general he was practically breathing in his ear. He smelled so good. He couldn't help it – he took a deep breath. Spicy musk with a hint of something... untamed, something quintessentially Sephiroth. Fuck, he was getting hard again. He'd just got his last erection to go down with all that talk of muscle loss and degradation.

He snapped his attention back to his friend, embarrassed and apologetic. He should be thinking of the general naked, not when there was so much at stake. Zack's plan was a good one but Sephiroth wasn't moving. He wasn't moving because Cloud was massaging him. But he couldn't stop giving the massage, because he was blocking out that thing's voice. If the general decided not to go with them, what could they do about it? It wasn't like they could drag him, kicking and screaming, through the corridors.

If they'd known what the silver-haired warrior was thinking, namely that there were actual beds at the inn and that his first time with the young corporal should be in a bed, they wouldn't have worried so much. At least, Zack might not have worried so much.

Sephiroth smiled very slightly. "Agreed. We'll return to the inn." Zack very nearly managed to hide his relief behind a cocky grin. "However, I am loath to lose contact with Cloud. In case Jenova's voice becomes overwhelming."

"D-do I need to be touching skin or can I just be standing close to you. What if I touch you through your jacket, sir?"

Oh god! They were going to be leaving soon. Go down, go down, go down, he ordered his body.

"Being close was... not efficient. Through the coat was acceptable. Skin-to-skin is best." For so many things, Sephiroth thought. He'd have to be careful not to rest his full body weight on the smaller man, he strategized. Their height difference would normally be too great to kiss and achieve penetration simultaneously – in most positions. Good thing he was flexible.

"You could always hold hands," Zack suggested slyly, too happy that his CO was back to consider the full effect of his words. "That would look so sweeeet! And it would definitely impress the villagers."

"Your humour is, as always, juvenile, Fair. I will not walk through town holding hands. Even if it is with Cloud."

Cloud was upset at Zack's words – the First knew he didn't like being here and hadn't wanted to be a spectacle – but he was left breathless at Sephiroth's. Did the general mean that he would hold Cloud's hand otherwise?

Don't think of it, Strife, keep your mind on the matter at hand. Which was how to get the general through a town full of small-minded, gossiping busy-bodies without occasioning comment. Frigging impossible unless they had some other, juicier target.

Or a familiar, cherished, old one.

"What if you're touching me, sir? Would that have the same effect?"

Sephiroth opened his eyes, "A valid question. Come, stand in front of me."

The young corporal did as he was told, keeping one hand in constant contact, trailing it over the silky skin as he circled the general. He shivered in uncontrollable enjoyment of the textures and the slide of it. At least his erection had gone down again, so he didn't have to worry about that.

"Hold out your arm. When I give the word, lift your hand off my shoulder. I will wait a moment to see if the voice returns then I'll reach out to touch your arm. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," Cloud responded.

"Commander, if something should go wrong you are to protect Corporal Strife."

"Got it."

"Very well; on my mark." Sephiroth's breathing was easy and steady, and his body was relaxed. "Two." Inside he knew that he felt something other than easy and relaxed. It wasn't fear – he was never afraid – but nervous, and perhaps, concerned. "One." Those were close to what he felt. "Mark."

Cloud raised his hand and Sephiroth felt the wall disappear.

Are you too afraid to accept what is yours by right? We can rule this planet. We can conquer it all. It is ours, just come to me, my son. Together we can claim your destiny.