Potential spoilers: Up to chapter 413...
Decision XIV: Death VII
~Painful~
Hitsugaya Toshiro walked through the halls of the forth division, following behind Unohana Taicho. His eyes had a clouded look to them, and his reiatsu fluctuated wildly. Unohana glanced back at the small taicho. "You need to calm down and relax. Otherwise you'll make yourself sick."
"How can one relax, when they are viewing the dead body of someone that they happen to have a close bond to," Toshiro stated, his mood showing through.
"At least you are admitting for once that you have a bond with someone," the woman smiled. "Though admitting it after the fact, isn't really the best thing.
"Finding a replacement..." The small taicho closed his eyes, as Unohana opened the door to the mortuary. His body suddenly shivered, yet, even though he wished to not have to do this, the fact he was a captain, made it a definite His eyes watched as the forth division captain stepped over to the covered body. He folded his arms across his chest.
"You know, you can step closer, Hitsugaya Taicho," the woman stated, watching as Toshiro stayed where he was. "Though, if you don't feel comfortable..."
"What would you do?" he asked.
"Well, if it was me, if I didn't come close, and take a good look at the person, I would regret it," the woman stated.
Toshiro took a couple of steps forward. "Has he come forward?"
"Don't you mean, has he come to visit her here? He hasn't come," Unohana stated, giving him a sad look. "You know... I could always have a different captain do this."
"She was my fukutaicho," came the chocked response, as he finally stepped next to the table. "I have to do this. Doesn't surprise me that he didn't come. He doesn't care. The only reason he was let off, was because he turned on Aizen. I don't trust him."
"You ready now?" Unohana asked. When the boy nodded , she pulled the sheet back, so that Toshiro could see the person's face. "We cleaned her up. She was rather bloody."
"How did she die?" Toshiro asked, his hand gliding over Matsumoto's body. His eyes suddenly went wide, as he felt a trace of reiatsu at the shoulder area.
"She lost too much blood, simple as that," the female stated.
"Unohana Taicho... did he use his zampaktuo on her?" A look of horror had passed over the small boy's face.
"Hitsugaya Taicho, don't go after him," Unohana taicho forewarned.
"He hasn't been reinstated as a captain, thus it wouldn't be a fight between two captains," the small boy grumbled, his reiatsu flared. He was suddenly turning on his heals and hurrying away, much to the older taicho's dismay.
His steps clattered against the rooftop, the sound reverberating and sounding as hollow as his emotions felt. He sensed around for the man's familiarity, then hurried forward. He pulled out his zampaktuo, and attempted to swing it down, only to have it clang against the shorter zampaktuo. The man spoke up, his tone rather dry. "I don't have time for your games, Hitsugaya Taicho."
"Can you tell me, Ichimaru Gin, if you hadn't stabbed her, that she wouldn't be alive!" the small boy roared.
As the silver haired man sat on the edge of the roof, he suddenly sprung up, grabbing the small boy by the throat, and forcing him hard to the roof. His other hand used his zampaktuo to hit the ice dragon away from Toshiro's hand. "Shiro-chan, repeat what you just said."
"Eherh," the small boy let out. His two teal eyes suddenly reflected a fear, that they rarely, if ever showed. However, that quickly left, and the two eyes began to water, unintentionally. The boy swallowed hard.
"I asked you, to repeat what you said," Ichimaru stated, as he glared at the boy straight in the face. When he still received no response, he repeated, his mouth turned into a frown, his eyes a red shade as they looked at the boy. "Brat... repeat what you said."
"If you hadn't stabbed her, she would be alive," Toshiro's hands reached up, to pull on Ichimaru Gin's, as a few tears rolled down his cheeks. "Matsumoto was the closest thing I ever had to a mother."
To the small taicho's surprise, the man's face softened. "If I hadn't stabbed her, she would be dead by Aizen's hands."
The man backed away, and went back to sitting on the edge of the roof, staring at the sky. Toshiro sat up, his eyes first going to the sword lying on the roof, however, suddenly thought better of it, simply going and picking it up and sheathing it. He crept a little closer. "What did you mean, she would have been dead if you hadn't."
Gin glanced up at him his eyes oddly having changed to a softer color, that seemed familiar. He patted the spot on the roof next to him. "I won't bite. I mean, if something happened to you, it goes without saying, they would come after me first. Actually, if anything happened to anyone."
Warily Toshiro snuck over and sat on the roof, his body tense. "But what did you mean by that?"
"Sometimes, to protect those you care for, in the process of doing so, you have to hurt them," Gin stated firmly. "If I hadn't knocked Rangiku out cold, she would have gotten near Aizen, and he would have killed her. It was a risk I felt I had to take. Actually, I thought she would make it, and be coming after me right now. I'm still waiting for her to come after me actually. And to ask me why I sided with Aizen, like she tired asking me then."
"Couldn't you just have kept her busy?" Toshiro asked.
"She was in the way, Shiro-chan," the man stated, only to suddenly have the small boys hand shove his away.
"You said that you hurt her, to keep her away from Aizen!" Toshiro snapped out.
"You don't get it. My plan had been to turn on Aizen, for a very long time. I was trying to keep him distracted, long enough for the Kurosaki kid, to do what he needed to," Gin stated firmly. "If I had been arguing with Matsumoto, I couldn't have distracted him the way I was."
Toshiro still glared at the man. "Why would you throw away something you care so much about, for something you don't care anything about?"
"What do you mean, something I don't care anything about?" Gin gave the small boy a confused look, pulling one of his knees up to his chest.
"You don't care about soul society, do you?" Toshiro muttered, his reiatsu flaring up, and his annoyance showing.
"No. I don't care about soul society and it's stuck up ways," Gin stated. He suddenly grinned when Toshiro reached his hand up for his zampaktuo. "Neither do you..."
"But to throw her away, for nothing," Hitsugaya's nostrils flared.
"Ran would agree with me, you aren't nothing.." Ichimaru returned to watching the sky.
"What..." Toshiro pulled back, his hand falling limp.
"I told you, if I have to hurt that which I care for, to protect it, I will do it. Not only would Ran and I both give up our lives for you, we would chose your life, over that of each other," Gin stated firmly.
"Don't... try to pass the blame of her death... onto me." The small taicho backed away, finding tears running fresh down his cheeks.
The look that Gin gave him was slightly worried. "I should have been upfront with you. The first time I hurt to protect you, was to make it so your mother could never hold you in her arms. It's the duty of a parent to do that."
At that, Toshiro stood up, a frightened look on his face. "This is a nightmare."
"Then pretend that we never had this conversation, if it makes you happy," Gin stated firmly. "I know I am very far, from the ideal parent."
"Hell, you could have tried telling me a different way!" Toshiro snapped.
"So says the child who tried to kill me," Gin stated. "And I didn't want you to know, really. You deserve better... and if I had my way, Ran would still be alive, even after that blow I gave her. I would have somehow died at Aizen's hands, when he found out I tricked him, as he died. It's what I deserve, and it's what Rangiku deserves. Deserved..."
"Are... you still getting used to the fact that Ran's dead?" Toshiro asked, his body still nervous.
"Kiddo..." Gin paused, then gave him a weak smile, compared to his normal one. "That isn't something you get over easily. Do what you wish."
"It's not as if anything I do can bring her back," Toshiro stated. "Hating you, isn't something she would want either." At that, the small taicho shunpoed away, leaving the man behind.
07/24/10- A new day! :)