AN: No, your eyes do NOT deceive you... this IS an update! After months and months away, I've come back!! For whatever reason, I just couldn't get anything satisfying out. It was a struggle and a rather difficult time for me.

But here - an update! I know, it's only a memory, but I forgot to write this. This should have come a chapter earlier, but it doesn't really matter.

Thank you to everyone who's stuck with this story and to the wonderful people who have reviewed so far. You're definitely part of the reason I haven't given up on the story yet.

Stand and Watch It Burn

XXII. When They Dreamed

Three years ago…

Hermione shifted uncomfortably. She felt uncomfortable. This was uncomfortable. Her eyes flitted quickly across the room where a certain someone was most determinedly was not looking at her. It had been weeks since she and Draco had kissed, weeks since she and Ron had had that all too uncomfortable talk. Not that there was much talking done. Mostly shouting, really. She sighed. It seemed that was all she and Ron had ever really done – constantly bicker and shout at each other. Of course, she hadn't expected anything less; how else would you expect someone to react when you tell them you're leaving him for his worst enemy?

The others had been a little more receptive. Not much, but at least they weren't ignoring her like Ron was. Harry, in particular, had grown more trusting of Draco over the past few months, to the point where Harry even asked Draco for help at times. He had, of course, stuck up for his best mate and refused to talk to Hermione for a week… but in the end, he relented, promising Hermione she was his best friend too. Ginny had been very open about her disappointment and questioned Hermione's sanity but was unwavering in her support – for the most part.

Still, that didn't prevent these Order meetings from being… well… uncomfortable.

Weeks had elapsed, and Ron still wasn't speaking to her. She remembered the pure fury in his eyes when she and Draco had to hide out in Malfoy Manor. Hermione sighed, wondering if things between her and Ron could ever go back to what they used to be.

"Any questions?"

Hermione snapped her gaze back to Harry, who had been explaining the next mission. After a brief pause, Harry nodded. "All right then. Remus should be back in a few days, so we'll have more information then. But for now, we'll work with what we have. All right, Tonks?"

Tonks nodded, her turquoise bob shaking.

"Okay, so Fred and George will be going with her, and Ron, Hermione, and Draco will stay her-"

"I want to go," Ron interrupted.

Heads swiveled to Ron. There was a long, heavy, awkward silence. Hermione felt her stomach drop. Though no one was looking at her, she knew they were all thinking the same thing: Ron didn't want to stay because of her.

"Okay," Harry said finally. "Tonks, Fred, George, and Ron will go. The rest of us will stay here. Good luck… and see you tonight."

x x x

The rest of the day was relatively quiet. Harry sat, waiting impatiently for the return of the team that had left earlier that day. He stayed silent, his head bent over parchment. Harry was often that way these days: quiet and pensive. He rarely laughed or smiled anymore. Draco and Mr. Weasley sat with him to keep him company and talked quietly. Hermione and Ginny helped Mrs. Weasley with chores around the house. They were in the middle of preparing dinner when they heard a tapping at the window.

Harry was the first to react. He jumped out of his seat and ran to the window where a barn owl was waiting. Swiftly, he opened the window and took the small piece of parchment tied to the owl's leg. The owl hooted and swooped off. Harry unrolled the parchment and quickly scanned its contents.

"Harry, what is it?" Hermione asked.

Harry's face was impassive. "Death Eaters," he said. "Attack."

"Who?" asked Ginny.

"Robert Pinkerton."

Arthur Weasley pursed his lips, thinking. "The Pinkertons? Robert and Olivia? I've seen them at Ministry functions. Young couple, with a little son. Robert and Olivia work in Muggle Relations. We should have seen this coming. Robert's Muggleborn and Olivia is from the Macmillion family – purebloods. I know Robert. We have talked a few times. Good man – idealist."

Hermione's blood ran cold. "He's not… Is he…?"

Harry's mouth formed a straight line. "Think so." Mr. Weasley sighed and shook his head. Ginny's head bowed.

"And the others? His wife and son?" Draco asked urgently.

"We're not sure," Harry replied.

There was a heavy silence. "You best go," Mr. Weasley said. "Their lives are probably in danger. At the very least, the Death Eaters may have left some evidence at the scene. I expect Tonks and the boys will be back soon, so if anything goes wrong, come back for help."

Harry nodded. "Let's go," he said to Hermione and Draco.

x x x

They arrived outside the house, a grim scene lying before them. To the untrained eye, the Pinkertons' home was like any other on the street, but Hermione identified the signs of struggle that she had seen all too often: a slightly charred door, barely ajar; trampled plants; and the foreboding darkened windows.

The three of them entered quietly, splitting up to cover more ground. Hermione could feel her heart racing as she slipped silently through the rooms. There had been no Mark above the house… which meant there was a high probability the Death Eaters were still nearby…

"Hey, get back! Harry, Hermione!"

The sound of Draco's voice shouting jolted her, and she felt her feet lead her to the room where it was coming from. Harry had already arrived and was helping Draco fight off the onslaught.

"Expelliarmus!"

"Reducto!"

A flurry of spells was being thrown back and forth. Hermione fought furiously, but it was becoming very clear to her that the three of them were no match for the large number of Death Eaters that were here. She looked around to see where Harry and Draco were. In the corner of her eye, she saw a young woman hunched over, covering a little boy. From the darkness behind her, Hermione could see a hooded figure moving up slowly, wand raised. Before Hermione had the chance to even scream for help, Draco appeared from nowhere, pushing the young woman and the boy down – right as the Death Eater cast the near fatal spell.

Draco.

Hermione ran across the room. Draco was slowly getting up when he spotted her approaching.

"Hermione, go get help!"

"No!" Hermione shook her head. She kneeled down beside him. "I can't leave y-"

"I'm fine." Draco shot off another spell at a Dark Eater that was approaching. "We need help. Harry and I can hold them off for a while, but not for long. There's too many of them. Go back!"

"But Draco…"

He pulled her in and kissed her quickly. "I love you," he said, his eyes staring right into hers. "Now go!"

Reluctantly, Hermione raised her wand and Disapparated.

x x x

"She's fine. She has a few cuts and burns, but none of them are serious. We healed most of them, and the rest will only take a couple days." The mediwizard sighed. "But that's only physically. As for the rest of it… that will take longer."

Their attempt to push back the Death Eaters had been successful. When Hermione arrived back at Order Headquarters, Tonks and the other Weasleys had returned, just as Arthur said. They had immediately gone to the Pinkertons'. But that couldn't undo what the Death Eaters had already done.

Harry had insisted on following the young woman and her son to St. Mungo's, and Hermione and Ron followed, not wanting him to go alone. They knew how hard and how personally Harry took each death.

Hermione watched as Harry paced back and forth. He stopped and then sighed. "Thank you," he finally said. The mediwizard nodded and left.

After the mediwizard was gone, Harry slumped into the seat next to Hermione. He dropped his head into his hands. "Merlin," he mumbled.

Ron, who had been standing across the room, trying to avoid being near Hermione, finally walked across to where Harry was sitting. His and Hermione's eyes met briefly. Ron nodded. Whatever was going on between the two of them had to be put on hold; right now, Harry needed them.

"You did your best, mate," Ron said.

"There was nothing you could do," Hermione added.

"I know," Harry said, his voice sounding empty and flat. "But why does it feel like it's my fault?"

"It's not your fault," Hermione responded fiercely. "It's the Death Eaters', Lord Voldemort's… but not yours."

"We saved his wife and son," Ron said quietly. "At least you did that."

Harry groaned. "How many families have to be torn apart before it's finally over? How many lives have to be destroyed?"

Ron and Hermione remained silent. Neither of them knew the answer to that.

x x x

Hermione returned to Lupin's cabin with a heavy heart. It wasn't just the battle, the death – no, there had been plenty of those. She was nearly numb to it. It was seeing Harry so down and hopeless that got to her. Everyone looked to Harry to lead the fight, to be the beacon in a time of darkness. Clearly, the demands of that role were wearing at him. And seeing her best friend like that – trying so hard to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders – wore at her.

Lupin's cabin was warmly lit by a fire. Draco was still up. He had been waiting for her.

The door shut behind her, and Draco sat up straight at the sound of it closing. He turned around, his eyes blinking slowly. She smiled a little to herself; he had been sleeping.

"You're back," he said when his half-awake mind managed to register its surroundings. "How is she?"

"She's fine. Alive," Hermione said. She sat down next to him on the couch. "Alive and left with a mess of a life to sort through."

Draco let out a slow, long breath. "How's Harry taking it?"

"Not well."

"I figured as much."

Hermione twisted her hands together. "He's taking everything so hard now. Every day, it gets worse." Draco moved in closer to Hermione and wrapped his arms around her. She slumped into him, her head resting on his shoulder.

They sat there for a while, entwined in each other, staring at the fire. Hermione sighed, the day's events still on her mind. "How much longer do you think this will go on?" she asked.

"I don't know," Draco replied softly.

"I just… I just want it to be over."

"Yeah."

Hermione straightened up a bit. "What happens when it is over?"

Draco gave her a wary look. "Counting our duckies before they hatch?"

"It's chickens," she said, automatically correcting him. "And maybe… but it gives me something to look forward to. Something to think about when things are just… so bad."

"Ah," Draco said, tightening his hold around her shoulders. "Well, let's see… after this war is over, Harry will be even more outrageously famous. The Death Eaters will all be held accountable for their crimes and thrown into Azkaban. We'll all go back to Hogwarts… McGonagall will probably be Headmistress – Merlin help us. And we'll go back to courses, NEWTS, and that normal mundane boring life that victory promises."

"And us?" Hermione asked, sitting up now. "Draco, what happens to us?"

"Us?" he repeated. "What do you mean?"

"Do we… go back to what we used to be?"

Draco looked at Hermione, slightly confused. "What makes you think we'd go back to what we used to be? Do you want to?" A hint of fear crept in his voice.

"No! Not at all!" Hermione exclaimed. "It's just… this is strange, isn't it? These times? This war – it's made us do things that we never thought we'd do, feel things we never thought we'd feel. You turned yourself in, turned on the Death Eaters and helped the Order. And I… I fell in love with you. But if you had a chance to turn back time and have things the way they were before, would you?"

A pause. "I don't think I could," Draco said finally, "Not now. Not having what I have now."

"What's that?"

Draco kissed her forehead. "You." Hermione felt her cheeks flush with pleasure. "I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"All right," Hermione said. "But let's get a few things straight first."

Draco looked at her, amused. "Okay," he agreed.

"I refuse to be cooped up in Malfoy Manor, buying curtains or something." Hermione shook her head. "I can't. I can't be like your mom, just attending parties and hosting events. I need to go out, do things – have a job."

Draco nodded. "I wouldn't expect anything less."

"And I want kids."

"Well, of course," Draco drawled, rolling his eyes. "Someone has to carry on the Malfoy name."

"Kids, Malfoy. Plural."

"Oh."

"Aliena for a girl."

"You would."

"I've liked that name ever since I read that play when I was ten!"

Draco chuckled. "All right, all right. And for a boy?"

"Plato."

Draco choked on his laughter. "Plato?" he managed to sputter out. "Like the philosopher? You can't possibly be serious, Hermione."

"What's wrong with Plato?"

"Hermione," Draco said after managing to calm down, "that is a terrible name for a child. Can you even begin to comprehend how much the other kids would make fun of him? You should. Your name is Hermione for goodness' sake…"

"I like Plato…" Hermione pouted a little.

Draco sighed. "Yes, dear, I'm sure you do, but I'm going to have to say no."

"Well, then what's your brilliant suggestion?"

"Traditionally, members of my family have been given names of constellations and stars…"

"I am not naming my son Orion…"

"Yeah, that's already been taken. Besides, if you would have let me finish," Draco said pointedly, "I was about to say I wanted to go a different route."

"Oh," Hermione said. "Like what?"

"Erm… I'm not entirely sure…"

"Oh, great."

"Hey, it's not like I spend my spare time thinking about names for my unborn sons! I'm only seventeen for Merlin's sake."

"Fine, well, think now!" Hermione snapped.

The two sat in a thoughtful silence. Hermione racked her brain, trying to think of a name that would be unique that wouldn't be playground banter, but nothing came to mind. Draco, too, hadn't spoken, and Hermione was starting to suspect he was just sitting there, not thinking of names, when he suddenly broke the quiet.

"Aneirin."

"What?"

"Aneirin," Draco repeated. He smiled. "You remember my Christmas gift for you?"

Of course she did. Hermione thought of that beautiful hardbound book Draco had given her last Christmas. She stared at Draco with wonder. "Oh, Draco," she breathed, "it's perfect. Why didn't I think of it?"

"Obviously, I am cleverer than you."

She punched him. "You are not."

Draco smirked. "If you say so."

"You are so insufferable sometimes."

He shot her a grin, and she couldn't resist. Hermione's face broke out into a smile. Draco's face softened and he leaned back against the sofa, pulling Hermione in towards him. They sat, watching the fire slowly burn out while they dreamed of the future.

AN: Yeah? I know, I know... move the story along. But this is important! It shows how Draco's relationship with the rest of the Order developed, as well as Draco and Hermione's. Anyway, the next chapter should come relatively soon... sooner than 6 months anyway.

Hope you liked it. Reviews are greatly appreciated!