Chapter 6: More than just friends

Tony arrived at the club shortly after 10 o'clock. After getting home from work he had called Candy and had agreed to meet her in town. He was in a bad mood, but hoped that a night out would cure him.

The moment he walked through the door, a deafening wave of music hit him. The place was crowded, mostly people in their early twenties, guys with too much gel in their hair and girls wearing clothes which didn't leave much to the imagination. It was exactly the type of place Tony liked and frequented on a regular basis. He even remembered having been to this club before. He had danced with some girls and had gotten hooked up with a young brunette who took him home with her. The relationship had ended at sunrise. They hadn't exchanged phone numbers or even second names and he had never seen her again. He didn't expect tonight to be any different from then.

His date was waiting on one of the couches in the back of the club. When she saw him she smiled and waved at him. Tony took a moment to look her up and down. She sat on the couch with her long legs crossed, wearing an almost non-existent black mini skirt and glittering blue top that gave a clear view down the valley between her breasts. When Tony didn't approach, Candy stood up and slowly walked over to him. She was wearing black high heels which obviously made walking very difficult for her. But she reached him all the same and kissed him on both cheeks. "Hi, Tony!" she chirped. "I'm glad you could make it."

Her arms had wrapped around his neck and his nose was full of the fruity scent of her perfume. He compared it to Kate's scent of soap and vanilla shampoo and found that he didn't like the perfume very much. But he was here to have fun, wasn't he?

"Me too", he answered cheerfully and put an arm around her waist to lead her back to the couch. "Did you already get a drink?"

"Yeah, but I could use another one." She giggled childishly, pointing at her empty glass.

"Sit down. I'll be back in five minutes." Tony left her and headed for the bar.

It was strange. Normally he was good at this. Dating girls he hardly knew and would very likely not get to know any closer, that was his thing. But tonight nothing felt right. While he waited at the bar he found himself wishing that the barkeeper wouldn't be so quick, because the young guy put the drinks in front of him only one minute after Tony had ordered them. Now he had to go back to his date. Normally he would have thought about some compliments for her and some good stories to tell her about himself, but tonight his thoughts kept wandering off. He wondered what Kate was doing right now. Another evening spent on her couch? He realised that he would be happy to spend it with her, watching an old movie or just talking about unimportant things and kiss her whenever she looked at him with that smile of hers that made his stomach flip.

At this thought Tony shook his head. He had to stop. These thoughts wouldn't lead him anywhere, they just hurt. So he returned to Candy and sat next to her on the couch, but all the while he felt like he was watching himself from the outside. What was he doing there? He was about ten years older than the girl. Damn, he was about ten years older than everybody in this club! Yet Candy didn't seem to mind while she constantly tried to get closer to him, touching his arm or leg and laughing at every single comment he made. He looked at her when she laughed. She was definitely attractive and she left no doubt that she was easy to get. He liked blondes. He usually did. But tonight he just couldn't figure out what he normally did when he was out on a date with one. And then he realised that he actually did know, but just didn't want to do any of it tonight. He didn't want to get all flirtatious and show-offish, he didn't want those light touches that were playful in the beginning and then became more serious. He didn't want that. Not with her.

When Tony realised that, he first tried to ignore it. But Candy didn't stop giggling and kept invading his personal space – which normally he wouldn't have minded in the least. But tonight it started to really get on his nerves.

Before he realised what he was doing he stood up. Candy smiled and got up too. "You wanna get out of here?" she asked flirtatiously.

Tony sighed. "Listen … uh … Candy", he started. "I … I don't think this is such a good idea."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean us … this …" Sighing, he broke off, then tried again. "This date is a mistake because I … I just can't start anything right now."

"Are you in a relationship?" she asked disappointedly. "Because, you know, I've made this experience and I can tell you …"

"No, I'm not in a relationship", he interrupted her. "It's just … it's kinda complicated." He sighed again. "Candy, I'm sorry. But I have to go." And with this he turned around and left the club without even looking back.

"Great", he thought when he reached his car and climbed onto the driver's seat. Wasn't it bad enough that Kate refused to even look at him? No, in addition to that it now turned out that he couldn't be together with other women any more. What had happened? Why couldn't he go on? Sure, his relationship with Kate had never been that of co-workers. Or not only that. She had been a friend, almost a bit like a little sister – a quite annoying little sister. But there was nothing romantic about that, damn it!

Tony started the engine. Who was he trying to fool? If the feeling he got when looking at Kate was what a sister would make him feel, then there was something seriously wrong with him. Maybe they had been just friends at some point, but that had changed, drastically. He had seen the look in her eyes when she had sat next to him in hospital, not sure if he'd live or die. And he had felt the soaring pain of fear in his chest when she'd been hit by Ari's bullet on that rooftop, only to find that the shot had hardly scratched her skin. He could've lost her then, but hadn't. But now he had. Because even if it was obvious for the two of them that they were more than just co-workers – and he was quite sure that Kate felt that too – he'd completely crossed the line last night. It was a great step between some flirtatious looks in the office and actually having a sexual relationship. He wasn't sorry for what had happened – it had been far too good to feel sorry for it – but if it really had destroyed the relationship they'd had, then he wished he could turn back time and never let it happen. Because he didn't think that he could take it much longer to see that look on Kate's face. That look of deception and, even worse, shame.

---

Kate was early for work the next morning. She had hardly slept because thoughts of the night before wouldn't stop spinning in her head. She had made the mistake of entering her bedroom and memories had swept over her. Then she had tried to sleep on the couch, but since the couch was where everything had started, it was as bad as her bed. So she had lain awake during the long hours of the night and had tried not to think of last night or about the possible outcome of Tony's date. It had almost driven her insane to imagine that he was spending the night with that woman. It still did. Now in the morning she was completely exhausted and, what was even worse, also looked like it.

When she entered the building she didn't go up to the office. It was unlikely that Tony was already there, but she didn't want to take any chances. So instead she decided to visit Abby. She knew that to see Abby meant having to answer a lot of questions about her current condition, but she didn't care. She was too tired to care.

As expected, Abby was already in the lab. Even before entering Kate heard the music that made the walls vibrate. Abby was standing in front of a computer screen jumping up and down in time with the music. Kate noticed that she was actually jumping and typing at the same time.

"Hey, Abby!" she shouted from behind her, but had to wave a hand in front of her eyes to get her attention.

"Hi, Kate!" Abby yelled cheerfully and smiled broadly at her. But then her expression became serious and she tilted her head to one side to look at Kate questioningly. Then she went to turn the music down. Kate sighed in relief, when the noise ended.

"Kate", Abby started sounding very serious. "You really have to tell me what's wrong. I'm worried about you." She came back and stood in front of Kate, laying both hands on her shoulders.

Kate opened her mouth, about to assure her that there was nothing wrong, but Abby interrupted her before she could say a single word: "Don't you dare tell me that you're okay!" she said pointing an index finger at Kate. "Sweetie, you look terrible" she continued softly and pulled her into a tight hug. She got even more worried when she felt that Kate was holding on to her as if it was a question of life and death.

"You're angry with Tony, aren't you?" Abby asked carefully. "I noticed how strange the two of you act around each other. What did he do? Kate?"

"I don't want to talk about it", Kate whispered, finally letting go. "I really don't want to. Can I just stay here for a little while?"

"Sure you can", Abby said softly. Kate's eyes had tears in them and her bottom lip had started to tremble. Abby clenched her teeth. She was so going to kill Tony!

---

The day seemed endless. They didn't have a new case, so Tony, Kate and McGee spent the time in the office doing old paperwork. In the beginning Kate had tried to position herself in front of her screen so that it would cover her from Tony's view, but had failed. So she had settled for just working without looking up, which worked better and she actually managed to concentrate. She had had about five cups of coffee, but the exhaustion wouldn't go away. She noticed that Tony, too, drank more coffee than he usually did. Hadn't he gotten to sleep? Had Candy kept him awake? Kate suddenly felt sick.

Tony tried his best not to fall asleep. Two nights in a row he hadn't slept for more than two hours. He kept lying awake because he couldn't get his head to shut down and give him some rest. He had tried to think of a way to talk to Kate without having her rip his head off, but couldn't think of a good strategy. Of course, he could try to get her alone and ask her to listen to him for five minutes, but the truth was that he was terribly afraid of what would happen next. He didn't want her to shout and he definitely didn't want her to cry, but didn't see any chance not to make her do either the one or the other – or even both. Feeling like a coward he went on with his work and tried not to look at her too often.

It was late in the afternoon when Kate decided to get one more cup of coffee before finishing her work and going home. Tony watched her when she stood up and walked towards the break room. This time he didn't think, he just followed her. When he reached the door to the break room he saw her stand in front of the coffee maker and fill it with new coffee. Then she pressed the button and leaned on the counter to wait.

With great effort Tony took one step inside and closed the door behind him. Kate looked over her shoulder to see who had come in, then jumped in shock. Her eyes quickly fixed on the black liquid that started to fill the pot. Tony knew that she heard him approach because he saw her body stiffen. Three steps behind her he stopped.

"I want to talk to you", he said quietly. Kate didn't react. Tony's heart pounded heavily in his chest. He wanted to turn around and leave, but he continued: "We need to do something because if things continue to be so tense between us, Gibbs is going to notice and when it starts to affect our work he will …"

"I don't care about Gibbs right now", Kate interrupted him. Her voice was shaking and she still didn't look at him. "It's not going to affect our work, we can make sure it doesn't. And everything else is none of his business."

"Sure, you are right", he said hastily. "But don't you think that we need to do something for our sake? I mean … seriously, work is no fun like it is right now. And I can see that you are not feeling well, so …"

"Oh Tony, stop it, will you?" she demanded angrily and turned around to face him. "Whether or not I am feeling well is definitely none of your business. I'm a grown woman, I can handle it. And since you have already proved to both of us that you are over it, it seems that there is no problem left to solve for us." She looked at him with burning eyes for a second, then turned around to her coffee again.

Tony looked at her in shock. "What do you mean 'I proved' … oh!" It suddenly hit him that she was talking about his date last night and he felt that he had to explain. "Yeah right, I went out with Candy, but …"

"So you did go out with her!" She spun around and even took a step towards him. Tony found her quite scary at that moment. "And now you want to explain?" she shouted. "Let me get this straight: I am not interested in who you date, when you date them and especially not why you date them, so keep it to yourself!" She stormed past him and out of the room, coffee forgotten.

Tony was left standing at the counter with his hands shaking. He kicked the trash can in frustration and swore under his breath. "Idiot", he muttered.

tbc...