May 15th, 2009 – Week 28

I was on my hands and knees, the fridge pulled away from the wall and my stomach, nearing 50 centimeters around, was dragging against the floor, which made the girls uncomfortable. They kicked at my bladder, stirring the urge to pee. I groaned, dunking the rag back in the bucket of warm, soapy Pinesol water and scrubbing the area behind the fridge angrily. I was going to get rid of the smell if it killed me.

Sam opened the door, returning from a delivery, dusty and covered in dirt. I held up a hand. "Stop!"

He froze, faltering back a step or two. "Emily? What in the world?"

"Take off your shoes." I ordered. "I just cleaned the whole kitchen."

He frowned at me. "Did you move the fridge all by yourself? Em, you can't be doing things like that when I'm not here," he continued you to scold me. "I have to know that you're not going to hurt yourself when I'm not around."

"But, Sam! The smell was going to drive me mad." I returned to scrubbing the tile. "It smelled like something died in here."

He inhaled deeply, trying – really trying – to smell what I did. He shook his head. "I don't know, Emily, I can't smell anything but the Pinesol."

I rolled my eyes, "Sure, now that I've cleaned the whole place. This morning it was like something was rotting. It's a little better now."

I wrung out the rag into the bucket and hoisted it back on top of the counter while Sam removed his shoes. I put both my hands on the ground and pushed myself onto my knees. I wobbled a bit, and then reached up to use to the countertop as support. It didn't work.

I looked over at Sam, who was stifling his laughter behind an awkward smile. "Stop laughing and help me!" I wailed. "I'm too fat to get up!" My ankles were swollen and pulsing under the weight of my body.

Sam hurried over and lifted my up by my elbows effortlessly. "There," he said jokingly, "at least I'm still good for something."

I kissed his cheek, falling into his arms. "You'll always be good for something, Sam. I need you." The truth resonated in my chest without the usual sense of dependency.

The girls kicked in my stomach again, and Sam felt it against his. I relaxed, sagging into his chest, and nuzzled my face against the fabric of his shirt. I inhaled, enjoying the rosin and moss scent that lingered between the threads, and silently welcoming him home. "They need you, too, you know."

His lips touched mine gently. "Glad to hear it."

I stole a glance back at the fridge, which was still halfway into the floor of the kitchen. "Speaking of things that I need of you, could you push the fridge back?" I laughed. "Moving that the first time was hard enough."

He glowered at me. "No moving large appliances."

I nodded in agreement, remembering the half an hour of inch by inch movements that it took me to pull it out in the first place.

"I promise."

He grinned, tapped my butt and sent me out of the kitchen while he slid the fridge back into place easily.

I was lounging on the couch, more than six months along, with a book on the birth process propped against my massive stomach. It had been a long day for both of us. With only a week until the wedding, I had spent the day walking around the venue with both my mother and Leah. My feet were more swollen than usual, and I was cranky. I was leaning against Sam, who had visited the florist with his mother to save me the trip. He wasn't in the greatest mood either.

We were both exhausted, and I was going to lose my mind if he kept flipping channels. "Do you have to do that?" I protested, as he began his fifth rotation through the programs. I closed the book on my stomach, flinging it onto the coffee table with disgust. I picked up a new one, unable to focus on a singular topic.

"Sorry," Sam apologized, tossing the remote to the floor.

I ran my hand over the top of my head, smoothing my hair back into place, and sighed. The wedding stress was getting to both of us.

"Just pick one or turn it off, please," I protested. "The noise is going to make me crazy." I opened the new book, but wasn't reading it. Instead, I was feeling the muscles of Sam's abdomen tense under my head and shoulders. I tensed as well, waiting for his reply. He picked up the remote and turned off the television, sitting coldly on the couch for a few moments before sagging into the cushions.

"Sorry, Em," he murmured, moving an arm around my shoulders to rest a hand on my stomach. I was instantly hit with a wave of guilt; all he ever wanted was to make me happy and here I was snapping at him.

"S'okay," I muttered back, putting the gemstone book down for another, later, time. "I'm sorry too. I know today was a long for you."

"No kidding. I've never seen two women so excited about flowers," he chuckled, taking his feet off the coffee table. "Want some mac and cheese? I think we have a box in the cabinet…" he trailed off, preparing to stand and go to the kitchen.

Picturing the kitchen after Sam's last foray into cheese and pasta, I shook my head. "Let's go out instead. No dishes!"

Sam agreed and we lugged ourselves off the couch and toward the door. He held out a helpful arm while I pulled on my shoes, before snatching the keys off the counter and journeying out into the dark night. In the car we debated playfully about where to go – or, as Sam put it, where they would have enough food for me to eat. Due to my inexplicable desire for lots of barbeque sauce, we eventually decided on a barbeque place, outdoor dining in Port Angeles. Sam parallel parked effortlessly, earning a snort from me as he held my door open and offered a hand to hoist me from the car seat.

More than six months along with my twins, my size was rapidly approaching giant, and we drew attention wherever we went – the seven foot tall man and his heavily pregnant wife were hard to miss. Surprisingly, however, I was finding it increasingly easy to accept all the blatant stares, odd questions and well wishes. For example, the hostess seating us peppered me with questions the entire walk to our table, on the back porch where we could watch the people of Port Angeles enjoy the summer.

"How far along are you, if you don't mind me asking?" She was petite, brunette, and wearing a dress that looked eerily like it may have been from her senior year homecoming dance.

"I'm 28 weeks – with twins," I added, before she could assume that I was just enormously fat for six months along.

She giggled excitedly as she placed the menus down on the table. "Congratulations to both of you. They'll be beautiful, I'm sure. You are the cutest couple!"

"Thanks," replied Sam, pulling a chair out and leading me into it.

She blushed profusely, hurriedly thrusting the silverware next to the menus on the table. "Enjoy your meal, your server will be with you shortly," she rushed, and then scurried off.

"The cutest couple," Sam, chuckling, repeated and then sat down himself.

I rolled my eyes. "She didn't see it in me, that's for sure," I joked with him, unrolling my silverware and tucking my napkin on my lap, under my large stomach.

"You're going to want that over your belly. I don't think you have many nice shirts left," Sam teased, pulling the napkin up and over the bulge, where food tended to land.

I pulled back my spoon and smacked his arm.

We talked and laughed our way through dinner, light conversation setting the tone for the evening after. We walked – well, waddled – to a nearby ice cream stand, where we sat licking cones for a while before getting back in the car and beginning the drive home.

We pulled up the driveway late that night, the headlight beams reflecting off the glass of the nursery window, and Sam came around to my side of the car and helped me out. We made our way to the porch; he held the door open for me. Once the door had closed behind us, I took his face in my hands, pressed him against the wood of the entryway and claimed his mouth with mine.

He enclosed me in his arms, letting me kiss him into oblivion. When I broke away, he wasted no time in peeling my shirt from my skin. Yet, when I expected him to return to my mouth, he instead dropped to his knees and pressed his mouth to my stomach, brown and streaked with stripes of red. I threw my head back and sighed with pleasure.

"Sam," I murmured.

"I love you," he replied. "I love you."

It was beautiful, the light from the porch glinting off the skin on the back of his neck, his mouth shimmering on the skin of my round stomach – but this time, I was beautiful too. It was something I had never seen before, the beauty that was he and I combined. I thought back to dinner, and how handsome his white teeth had looked against his skin when he smiled. Did he think I was as pretty as I thought he was? He must have.

He returned to his feet and I stepped back, giving him room to move away from the door. He took my hand and pulled me down the hallway, kissing me and pressing my rounded hips into his.

I took the afternoon off on Tuesday, driving over to Leah's house for the combined baby and wedding shower. I wasn't particularly looking forward to being fawned over, nor did I want to subject myself to piles of gifts. I didn't want to admit it, but the last thing I wanted to be doing was going to a party. I really just wanted to curl up on the couch with Sam and sleep.

While in the car, I gave myself a pep talk. I was determined not to let my mood swings get the best of me. Being pregnant did not give me a pass to snap at every person I came into contact with. Sighing, I parked on the side of the street – the driveway being already filled with cars. I used the car frame to push myself out of the cramped space and made my way up the drive and to the door.

I could hear the squealing before my hand even touched the knob.

"She's here!"

I plastered a smile on my face and swung the door open. Leah swarmed in, taking my jacket and kissing my cheek. "Emily! You're right on time! Come in, come right on in," she gestured toward the living room with her hand excitedly.

"Hi Leah, thanks for organizing all this," I mumbled.

"No problem! We're going to have so much fun!" We made our way into the living room, Leah following behind me. "Everybody – Emily's here!"

The room erupted in various levels of squeals, oohs and aahhs as all the women welcomed her. Hannah and my mother were seated next to each other on the couch, little plates of treats on their laps. Kim and Bella were catching up by the mantel, Kim holding a cup of sherbet punch that looked delicious. Among the other guests were Paul's girlfriend – Jacob's sister Rachel – and Sue Clearwater, plus a few of the girls from work.

"Hello," I said quietly, waving. My mother bumped over on the couch, and made room for me next to her. I hurried over to sit down, also taking a glass of the punch when it was handed to me. "So," I began once I was settled, "what kind of shenanigans do we have planned for today?"

A communal chuckle went around the room as everyone found a place to sit. Leah piped up, "what first? Games or gifts?"

Nervously eyeing the towering pile of gifts in the corner, half wrapped in white and silver paper and half wrapped in pastels, I opted for games. Leah and Kim ran to pull out trays, one containing different spices we had to identify and the other carrying the baby shower staple of melted chocolate diapers.

I groaned. "My sense of smell is so messed up! This is going to be terrible!"

"And hilarious!" Kim chimed in, as the other women murmured their agreement.

Sure enough, I guessed wrong on nearly everything, but I had a surprisingly good time trying to cheat off everyone around me.

"Okay – next game!" Leah announced, whipping out an astounding number of toilet paper rolls. "Get into teams of three!"

As everyone hurried to find a team – Kim and Bella running over to join mine – Leah handed each group three rolls of paper. "The objective of this game is to make a wedding dress and accessories for a member of your group – using only the toilet paper! Good luck ladies!"

Bella jumped into action. "Who wants to be the bride?"

"It should be Emily," Kim chirped.

I shook my head. "I'm the size of a house! We can make a better dress with a skinnier model." I looked pointedly at Kim.

She shrugged. "Okay – what are we-"

Bella interrupted her by asking me to hold the roll and then whirling around Kim in a blur. She called out orders, "Hands up, arms down, turn – no, the other left – arms out." When the first roll was gone, Bella paused and took a step back. "How's that?"

My mouth hung open. Kim had on a full skirt, which was draped and ruched around her waist. "Ummm…it looks fantastic," I managed.

Bella took a contemplating look at her handiwork. "Now for the bodice." The whirling began again, until Kim was wearing a strapless bodice that matched the skirt. Bella turned to me. "Veil?"

I nodded, mutely.

Carefully, Bella arranged a tiara and long veil, and then a bracelet around Kim's wrist. "There! It's lovely!"

Kim, slightly stunned, looked down at her new outfit. "Somebody get a picture!"

I grabbed the camera off the nearby table and snapped a few frames while all the other women gave up their attempts in favor of admiring Bella's creation. "Boy, am I glad you were on our team!" I told her.

Bella giggled, "it was fun!"

After we had been thoroughly worn out with games and a significant amount of pictures had been taken, we sat down to open gifts. The girls sat around me – on the couch, pulling up chairs, sitting cross-legged on the floor. They all had wide, giddy smiles on their faces that made me nervous as well as excited.

I gave in, spreading a grin across my face and reaching my hand out to grab a present from the top of the wedding pile. "What's first?"

Kim blushed from her seat on the floor. "Hope Sam likes it," she giggled.

"Oh, no," I flinched as I tore away the wrapping paper to reveal a black box underneath. I lifted the lid timidly and turned a bright shade of red as I lifted the black babydoll out of the box. Hoots and hollers came from the group and I quickly covered the box back up and set it on the floor. "That should be…fun," I babbled.

All the ladies laughed as I picked more gifts out of the wedding pile, unwrapping several more pieces of lingerie, a body wash gift set, a home spa kit for the wedding day, a photo frame with a picture of the two of us from Hannah, and a collection of family recipes from my mother. When I had emptied the wedding pile, I hugged all of my guests and then reached for the baby pile.

Mostly, it was filled with adorable matching clothing sets for the girls – in every color and print imaginable. Also included were some teddy bears, a pacifier set and burp clothes, and a baby monitor set. When all the gifts had been packed away in bags to go out to the car, and everyone had been thanked and hugged again, we sat around the kitchen table with coffee – decaf for me. The older women swapped stories of their own children and weddings, and every person offered to babysit when the girls were old enough – and Sam and were ready for a break. It felt a little early to be thinking about it, but I was definitely going to take them all up on the offers. I wasn't kidding myself about how difficult this was going to be.

"Call me if you need anything!" Kim reminded me as she headed to her car, the last of the girls to leave. Turning to Leah, I enveloped her in a hug.

"Thank you," I whispered. "It was great."

"It didn't wear you out?" she asked, noting the tired look on my face.

I laughed, "oh – it wore me out alright. But everything does that these days. I think I'm going to go home and sleep until Sam gets back."

Leah helped me get the gifts to the car and then waved as I drove away – promising me that she'd call tomorrow. When I pulled in the driveway at home, I slammed the car door and left all the gifts where they were. I pushed open the door, kicked off my shoes and made my way to the couch, where I promptly curled up and went to sleep – one hand wrapped around my belly and one tucked under my head. I stayed that way until Sam woke me with a kiss.

Hey readers, I can't thank you enough for your patience. You really are fantastic. Hopefully, it won't be nearly as long between the next updates. My life has resumed a semi-normal schedule, though you never really know. Thank you for all of your kind words and support - and keep those reviews coming. They are so nice to read!