So, I'm back from another hiatus, and for those of you who have stuck it out - I love you. Really I do. I just finished up graduation from high school and I have the whole summer off. I will most definately be finishing this story this summer - there are only three chapters after this one, and they just need some re-editing. Thanks for all of your continued love and support.
May 22nd, 2009 – Week 29
Kim, like the sweetheart she is, was tearing up at the sight of me in my wedding gown. "You are an angel!"
I snorted, "A fat angel."
"Shut up!" She scolded. "You're beautiful."
Everyone in the room voiced their agreement. Even Bella, holding Nessie's hand in the corner, nodded and smiled at me. I smiled back, thanking her for being here even though it was hard.
Nessie and Claire were in the same flower girl gown, Nessie's in purple and Claire's in brown. They each held a tiny wicker basket of violet petals, which they were having fun picking up and playing with. Nessie carefully examined each petal as she held it.
Kim, Rachel and Leah were all in short, purple dresses, with violets in their hair. They each held a bouquet of violets and white roses, tied with brown satin ribbon. Leah was being a darling and smiling her face off. I hadn't heard one sarcastic comment from her all day, and I would be sure to thank her for being so nice on my big day.
Someone poured champaign, giving me and the little girls glasses of sparkling grape juice instead, and everyone raised their glass. "To Emily and Sam!"
All the women in the small room screamed and squealed and downed their drinks.
I nervously touched my tiara, checking to make sure that it was still securely in place. I had forgone a veil, simply because it seemed like more hassle than I needed. My feet were as comfortable as possible in little white ballet flats, hidden beneath the cover of my gown. I twisted the silver engagement band on my finger, which wouldn't be alone in a few hours. Sam and I had gone shopping together, and while he picked out a twisted silver braid, I picked out another band with a row of diamonds that would fit with my engagement ring. I didn't want to take it off.
My mother saw the look on my face, and she touched my chin with her finger. Per Sam's request, the makeup artist at the salon in Port Angeles hadn't covered my scars, and my mother rubbed her thumb along one. "Hey, Emily," she whispered. "Don't be afraid. This is Sam."
I knew what she was trying to get at. Sam and I were meant to be together. This wedding was just the natural progression of our relationship. I was doing the right thing.
As if recognizing the truth in my words, my girls kicked opposite sides of my womb, flexing at the same time. I supposed it was getting rather crowded in there.
Bella, who was still in the corner, raised a dainty white hand into the air and spoke. "Everyone? It's almost time. Why don't we give Emily a minute?"
It took a minute for Bella's words to sink in, but when they did, everyone murmured agreement and pressed me into careful hugs – leaning over my monstrous belly – before hurrying out into the lobby. Bella hung back for a minute, sending Nessie out with Claire.
She came over, breathing carefully but relaxed, and touched a hand to my arm very lightly. "It's a little scary, isn't it?"
I laughed breathily. "The babies or the wedding?"
Her smile lit up the room. "Both."
"Yeah, it is." I was serious again.
"The wedding part is great; I promise that once you get out there and see his face, nothing else will even register." Bella was giving me some girl advice, and for some reason, it made me feel better than anything my mother had said all day. "I was in a similar situation, you know? Edward and I were meant for each other, but walking out there was still scary as hell." She laughed and it rang like wind chimes. "And congratulations on the twins - you're going to be a great mother."
I held her hand in mine for a minute, trying not to make this any harder than it already was for her. "Thank you, Bella." She would know that I was talking about more than one thing.
"You're welcome." She squeezed my hand, and smiled. "And I'll leave you with what Alice left me, 'Focus, Emily. Sam is waiting for you out there.'"
She winked playfully at me, and then disappeared out the door. I turned and looked in the full length mirror in front of the closet. I looked good. My hair was swept up, piled in seemingly random curls on top of my head and adorned with a silver tiara. My dress hugged my chest perfectly, the bow gracing the bottom of my breasts and the top of my stomach. I was tan, my eyes were bright and my lips were the perfect shade of red.
I picked up my bouquet, took a deep breath, checked the clock, and left the room, turning off the lights behind me.
My mother kissed my cheek before she went to her seat, her eyes watering a little already. I had chosen to walk down the aisle alone, in light of my father being out of the picture. Hannah waved and followed her down to their seats.
Edward began a slow and sweet melody on the piano, and Mrs. Clearwater ushered Kim and Jared down the aisle, followed by Leah and Embry. Paul and Rachel walked in behind them, side by side. Jacob followed and took his place as best man. The original pack, all together for our wedding. I knew how much it meant to Sam to have them all there.
Next, Mrs. Clearwater pushed Nessie and Claire through the doors of the little chapel. They held hands for the first few steps, shot each other a look, and then twirled down the rest of the aisle, flinging violets into the air wildly.
Sue looked at me, and I smiled back at her feebly. Edward, all knowing, wove a march into the music and my legs went weak. I inhaled, smelling flowers galore, and put one hand on the side of my stomach, where my girls were living. I remembered what Bella said. Focus, Emily. Sam is waiting for you out there.
I took my first step.
Mrs. Clearwater rushed behind me to adjust my train. I took another step.
My third step put me through the doors of the chapel, and my eyes swept the crowd frantically. There were so many people!
And then, as if his gaze was pulling mine, I found Sam. Everyone else melted away, and I was left with nothing but him. His eyes were glistening, his face was stretched by the widest smile. My heart thundered in my chest, and I felt a kick on my palm. A grin broke across my own face.
Sooner than I ever thought possible, I arrived at the altar and Sam was taking my hand and helping me up the two steps.
I whispered all my vows, barely loud enough for the minister to hear, and Sam thundered his to the world. The tears spilled over as I declared, "I do," and Sam wiped away the ones that fell along the grooves of my scars. I saw Sam leak a few tears of his own, and my chest felt like it might burst with love. My hands shook uncontrollably as I placed my ring on his finger, and he laughed at my tremors while he struggled to get my new band on.
Sam had me in his arms well before the man declared us husband and wife, and he proceeded to kiss me senseless in front of everyone. Our daughters kicked wildly against us, reacting to the chaos going on in and outside of my body.
We were the perfect newlyweds. We ran down the aisle to cheers and laughter, hopped in the car after being pelted with rice, waved and drove off in a decorated car. It all seemed surreal.
In exchange for buying each other wedding bands, we had decided against an extravagant honeymoon. Instead, after the crowded and loving reception – during which the pack had way too much fun with the kissing game – we climbed back in the decorated car and drove to Seattle, where Hannah and Jennifer had bought us the weekend at the Fairmont Olympic in an Executive Suite. I was still in my wedding dress, train and all, as the valet held the door and offered me his hand to help me out of the low car. Sam wrapped one long arm around my waist and pulled me through the door, tossing the keys and a tip to the valet.
All eyes in the lobby were on us as Sam pulled me toward the front desk to check in. She handed us each a key, with a warm, "Congratulations."
"Thanks!" I called over my shoulder as Sam led me away from the desk and in the direction of the elevator.
He glanced around the hallway outside our door, and then, finding no one there, pinned me to the wall and kissed the crook of my neck. "Mmmmmmm," I groaned into his chest. "Sam?"
"Hm?"
"Are we going inside?"
He licked his way up my neck, nibbling on my ear. "Maybe."
I laughed, carefree and feeling more loved than ever. "Sam!" I wrestled the key away from him and turned to open the door. He patted my butt as my back was to him, and I swatted his hand away.
I held the door while he carried in the one overnight bag we had packed, mostly full of prenatal vitamins for me and a change of clothes to go home in. I think Sam had thrown in some of my maternity lingerie as well, not that I was planning on wearing much of it.
He dropped the bag on the couch and as I sat on the edge of the luxurious king bed, pulling the train of my dress out from under me. I was just beginning to fuss with the pins in my hair when Sam stopped my hands.
"Hey!" I protested. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to take care of you tonight." He promised, choking on his words.
I leaned into him, resting my head on his giant shoulders.
He kissed me, taking my bottom lip between his two and sucking gently. I opened my mouth and took in his tongue, both of our tongues mixing lithely together. When I pulled away for air, his hands went to my shoulders and turned my back to him.
"Sam?" I whispered as he pulled pins from the mess of my hair.
He kissed the top of my back, "What is it, flower?"
"I love you." The first tendril of hair fell free from the updo.
Sam twisted it around his fingers lovingly. "I love you, too."
I closed my eyes, put one hand on our girls, and relaxed into his chest. Within minutes, he had all of my hair free.
"I'm leaving in the crown, because you're a queen tonight." He ran his fingers through my hair.
The inevitable flow of tears began and I could barely control myself. I turned back around to throw my arms around him as best I could – with the girls between us – and I bawled into his jacket. "Sam, Sam," I sobbed. "I love you so much. I love you."
He handled it well. He didn't freak out or worry, he just held me and rocked me and let me pour out my love for him. I didn't have enough words, so it soon turned into a babble of loving words.
When I was all blubbered out, Sam kissed me again. "I love you, Emily. I love you more than anything else in this world. I love you."
He helped stand up, and then slowly unzipped my dress. I was wearing a white lace bra and g-string, but he left those on. "Stay here, for a minute."
Sam disappeared into the bathroom and I sank back into the bed, not feeling at all awkward about my huge and discolored stomach for once in a very long time. I heard water running in the bathroom but I stayed where I was. Sam returned a few minutes later, in only his boxers. He took off my bra and underwear, caressing my skin with his warm hands and then kissing my stomach.
"I have a Jacuzzi bath for you." He told me, and took my hand to lead me into the bathroom, where he placed me in the giant tub, filled with bubbles and good smelling soap. He doused me with warm handfuls of water, washed me with a soft cloth, but left my hair dry. The mirror across the bathroom reflected the light from the crystals in the tiara.
He whispered worshipful things in my ear the entire time, and the tears came again. They were a little less overwhelming this time, but the feeling of total adoration for this man and belonging to him swelled in my chest until my lungs had no room to expand. As he helped me out of the tub and dried me with a fluffy white towel, I clung to his shoulders and sobbed his name over and over again.
Sam practically carried me to the wide bed again, and curled up next to me. He massaged my back and my feet with lotion, and I could have died happily. When I was completely and totally relaxed, he spooned me and wrapped his long arms around me. He was in his boxers, and I was still partially wrapped in the towel, but I had never felt as close to him as I did then.