Disclaimer: Go backwards.
A/N: Heads up on the pairings. ItachiTala is now in the one-sided pairings list. Also I finally decided on the final pairing which is one you will all know by the end of the chapter. It's kind of obvious so I won't tell you. If you're not smart enough to figure it out from this chapter you'll just have to get it gradually while it develops.
Chapter 9:
"So, how have you been doing since...you know." Tala was attempting to stop fidgeting, but being in so close proximity to Hiro again, was taking a toll on him. He wanted to kiss the elder's lips again so badly, but he kept reminding himself, that Deidara was the reason he was having a doughnut and coffee with Hiro in the first place.
"Well, I couldn't pay attention in class anymore after you moved, especially with the way we were when you moved away, I can't coach bladers anymore thanks to that restraining order ending up being leaked by someone to some news reporter, and now, I drive for approximately two and a half hours to come to this hospital to both complete my community service requirements, and work as a janitor." Hiro answered not sounding particularly bitter to Tala's surprise.
"So what's the lowdown on this Deidara you've become so fond of ice princess?" Tala was surprised by both the question, and the use of that pet-name.
"I don't think you want to know that devil prince." He replied using his pet-name for Hiro in turn. If Hiro was going to use his, then he would use Hiro's. It just felt natural.
"No, really, tell me. I'm happy one of us at least found someone they can be happy with, in spite of the situation." Hiro pressed seriously.
"He's blond, he loves art, and he's innocent. I'm trying to avoid hurting him." Tala said avoiding his gaze.
"Are you really in love with him?" Hiro asked putting a finger to Tala's forehead, and pushing lightly until their eyes met.
"I love him, but I'm not sure what he feels for me. He's been through a pretty traumatic event, which our school counselor thought was a joke, and I think, if anything, he'd be scared to believe and admit that he is in love, even if he actually was." Tala supplied and gave a soft huff. "Then there's the fact that I'm still not over you."
"I wouldn't blame him for loving you, I know I sure as hell do." Hiro said smiling. "You're still so very beautiful."
"...Oh screw it. You're still the hottest guy I've ever laid eyes on." Tala couldn't take it anymore. Hiro wasn't helping him keep to what he'd decided at all. He was too tempting.
"I've missed you Tala." Hiro sighed getting closer and closer to him by the second.
"I've missed you too Hiro." Tala gave in to his desire, and kissed the light-blue haired man briefly, before pulling away, and getting up.
He didn't care where they were, at present he just wanted Hiro. Setting himself down on the elder's lap, he proceeded to kiss him for as long as he could. Hiro returned the kiss without complaint, threading his fingers into Tala's hair, keeping one arm around his waist, as Tala grabbed his, kissing him with passion, hunger, and greed, and he just kissed back, fighting the redhead for dominance, as he poured all of his feelings for him into it.
Tala ended up with his back on the table, and Hiro's hands wandering under his top as he moaned into the elder's mouth, enjoying their never-ending kisses. Whenever they did stop, it was for but a few seconds to get some air in their lungs, and Tala could swear his face was getting as red as his hair, from all the things Hiro was whispering to him when they did stop kissing for those few seconds. Clawing at the elder's back, Tala nibbled and licked his ear before whispering in an almost crying voice for him to take him. Hiro retreated and pulled Tala into his lap, embracing him tightly, comfortingly whispering sweet nothings to him.
"What's wrong ice princess? Why are you crying?" He asked softly, working the knots from stress in the redhead's back out gently.
"No matter how much I try to forget you, or how many times I tell myself to stop loving you, I still love you. I feel the same about Deidara, and that's killing me. I can't pick one...and you'd never be willing to share me...and you simply refuse to give up what split us up to begin with." Tala poured his heart out to him, holding onto him with a deathly grip.
"About that last part, I decided to listen to you angel." Hiro said causing Tala to call him a liar. "No really, I made a vow before God, that I would never have another alcoholic beverage again, as long as I live. I intend to uphold that vow. You can spit in my ashes if I die because I didn't."
"You...and I've...oh my god." If anything Tala cried even more, and twice as hard after that, because it made him realize, just how stupid he'd been.
"It's okay, sweetheart it's okay. You had every right to doubt that I'd make such a sacrifice for you, and I didn't think I could do it either at first, but I love you, and I can't live, without you in my life. I'm actually kind of happy you ignored me, because it helped me to really understand that. I keep imagining myself suffocating you, and it scares me, that alone will keep me from drinking again. I couldn't live, without you in my life, and I'd never forgive myself in this life or the next, if you died because of me." Hiro held him tight never wanting to let him go.
"I wish things were like this before...you won't share me, and I also have Deidara's opinion on that matter to consider, if you did want to share me. I think if I pick you...this feels so right baby...if I pick you, I think I'll be okay in the end. I really don't want to hurt him though...I feel so empty, thinking of what my life would be like without him...oh my love." Tala's grip on the elder couldn't possibly get any tighter as he ranted, arguing with himself.
His mind, body, and soul were all driving him insane. Part of him wanted to tell Hiro goodbye even now, but now it was for the sake of not hurting Deidara. He had no need to be afraid anymore, because of the vow Hiro made, and yet he knew, that it was unfair to just act like Deidara had never come into his life. His head eventually started pounding heavily, and he stopped talking, whimpering in discomfort as he buried his face in Hiro's chest. "Headache." He mumbled.
"For what it's worth, if you could get Deidara's approval, for your sake, I would try it. This concept of sharing you, I wouldn't like it, but I'd do it for you angel." Hiro said repositioning the redhead so he was holding him bridal style, before he got up and started walking back towards the waiting room. "Go to sleep love, you need some serious rest." He gave a soft smile to the younger who was only half awake now.
"I love you." Tala mouthed to him before his eyes shut, and he gave in to exhaustion.
"Interesting. I thought you two were on hiatus." Sasori looked over at Hiro who had sat down, and was practically cradling the sleeping Tala in his arms.
"Were is the key word there Sasori. I've fixed the situation from my end, now Tala has to fix his end. Deidara is the deciding factor. For Tala I will do anything, even share him, but if Deidara isn't willing...for lack of better wording, we will be fucked." Hiro supplied never once taking his eyes off of Tala.
"I'm starting to truly resent love. I've loved Deidara for years, but he does not feel the same, and yet he has fallen for Tala, and now if for Tala he will agree to that preposterous solution, I will have lost my gaki to two people, one that doesn't even give a damn about him." Sasori's bitterness towards the situation he was in because of his love for Deidara, was finally coming out.
"For what it's worth, I would make the effort to feel the same way for Deidara, that I do for Tala, if he did agree. I'm not keen on my uke becoming a full time seme though." Hiro was being serious, but at the end he couldn't help but scoff. He really didn't, want that last part, to come to pass.
"There is another factor to consider here. Tala would have to give him the time of day though, for him to truly be another factor in this equation. Itachi wants Tala, and at present, he loathes Deidara. Don't count yourself in the clear yet, that's all I'm saying." Sasori said and Hiro laughed a bit.
"I can tell you right now why Itachi could never make it past friends with Tala." He said.
"Why?" Sasori asked curiously.
"He is soft, way too soft for Tala. I could tell when I played around with him earlier, that he wasn't going to be competition." Hiro replied before laughing some more.
"Interesting theory. Tala seems to believe that if Itachi would simply be himself around him, he might actually have a chance." Sasori said causing Hiro to stop laughing.
"Hm. Question, if I may, how far has Itachi actually gotten?" He was now just a little bit worried, but he didn't let it show on his face, or in his voice.
"When your hiatus with Tala started, it was Itachi who helped him deal with it, by listening to him rant while he cried. Tala was spacing out during lunch yesterday, and Itachi kissed him. They kissed for almost eight minutes. This morning Tala dropped Deidara off at school, and Itachi pretty much told him he wasn't worth waiting for. Tala blew bubble-gum in his face and left. Tala seems to have the impression, that Itachi just wants him for a good fuck, rather than a relationship." As Hiro laughed again, Sasori started to wonder if Itachi did have any chances with Tala.
"What? What is it you find so damn funny?" He asked with a glare.
"I actually feel bad for him. Tala will give him the chance he so desires, but it's not going to go anywhere. Once Itachi is head over heels in love with him, Tala will drop him like a rock. It's one of Tala's many ways, to get revenge, for the pain inflicted on someone he cares strongly for. In this case the victim was Deidara, which means Itachi's in for exactly what he wants, as well as some surprises. You can utilize this information for whatever you want, I assure you it won't change the outcome. When Tala wants something, he gets it. It's just how he is." (Hiro)
"Itachi is my friend, and has been for a long time, but the pain he caused Deidara, not just the physical ones of today, but the emotional ones that my gaki has been carrying for a while, as well as the mental pain he could have caused from that head trauma, I want him to pay for it. I already told Deidara, that if he wants to be with Tala, for better or worse, I will support him every step of the way. Tala can do what he wants, because as far as I'm concerned, Itachi had it coming." (Sasori)
Minato came out of the hospital room Deidara was still fast asleep in, around three in the morning, only to find Hiro asleep on the floor, with a cushion under his head, and holding tightly onto Tala, who had his head on the elder's chest, and was smiling slightly. Itachi and Kisame were nowhere in sight, and he knew Hidan had left after a brief visit to his son. Looking over at Sasori, he found that he had also been claimed by sleep for the moment. Grabbing a cushion he lay down next to Sasori, and prepared to get some rest too.
"...Up...Wake up...Come on ice princess, I know you're faking it."
"Humph...I don't want you to go."
"Sweetheart I'm sorry, but I have to. Or would you prefer it if I failed senior year?"
"Hm...that depends on if I could stay like this or not."
"Maybe, maybe not, but there will be a lot of other opportunities for cuddling like this angel. Now come on, let go."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes."
"Do you want me to?"
"You have expensive taste, and that means I need a job that can help me keep up with your taste, so yes dearest, I want you to let go now."
"Fine, but I want a kiss."
"Like I wouldn't give you one anyway."
"Just kiss me already."
"You two are repulsive." Itachi said looking away from Tala and Hiro.
"Great, we're caught. Now I have to make it seem like I hate you. Apologies ahead of time. Sorry." Tala whispered in Hiro's ear, before grudgingly letting go of him.
"Whatever you say, I've already got my half covered." Hiro mouthed back.
"Itachi, do you still want a chance to get with me?" Tala watched Hiro turn the corner, then looked at Itachi with mischievous eyes.
"You would actually give me one after what I did?" Itachi wasn't going to fall for it.
"I'm experimenting, I'm not sure what I feel for Hiro anymore, and Deidara is...too innocent for my taste. You might be what I'm looking for. I'm vulnerable, why not take advantage of that?" Tala countered, putting on a face that could make anyone pity him. Itachi was inwardly taken aback, particularly by Tala's tone, he sounded like he could care less who went after him at the moment.
"Are you serious?" The Uchiha asked.
"As serious as I am about my hiatus with Hiro. I don't know anything anymore Itachi. Since that day when you took me to file the restraining order, I've been thinking a lot about you and...I don't know, but I've been thinking that maybe, just maybe, that's the real you. I will trust you for today. Depending on how you act I might just want to keep seeing you." Itachi wasn't buying any of it, until he saw tears in Tala's eyes. "I'm giving you my trust Itachi...please, don't be another who makes me regret it."
"Tala, I promise I won't make you regret giving me a chance, but promise me you'll explain that last bit to me. Why do you regret trusting others?" Itachi rushed over and embraced him, and Tala returned the embrace laying his head on Itachi's shoulder finally letting his tears flow.
"Itachi, there are things I've kept to myself in my life, because I was too afraid of what others would think or do if I told them. You might think I'm a strong person, but I'm not...deep down, I just want to die."
"Sasori, tell Deidara I'll stop by to see him tomorrow, and don't go poisoning his mind against me, you may not believe it, but I do value his friendship, and I don't want to lose it." Itachi mouthed to Sasori, who was watching him and Tala with a glare. Thereafter he broke his embrace with Tala, and picked him up bridal style, and bolted towards the hospital exit.
"I think I'm starting to get what you meant." Sasori wrote to Hiro after retrieving his cellphone.
"I told you, he'll get everything he wants, and more. Tala is a brilliant actor." Hiro wrote back after receiving the text.
"So should I explain to Deidara what's going on now?" Sasori wrote to him.
"That would be a good idea. He's going to need some time to register the situation, and decide how he feels about sharing Tala, and it would be inconvenient if Hidan or Kisame found out. You did say they would spill the beans, and neither one of us wants that now do we?"
"Point well made. I'll write to you once I've got Dei up to speed and what not."
"Drive anywhere within range of the manor until otherwise instructed." Itachi said to his driver, before closing the back of the limousine off from the front, and looking over at Tala, who was wiping furiously at his tears.
"Tala, talk to me." He said pulling the redhead to him.
"Promise me you won't tell anyone." Tala said leaning back against him, and blushing a little when Itachi kissed his cheek.
"I promise. I told you before, I'm an Uchiha, we're kindred folk. Now talk, it's bad to repress things."
"You know that Kai is my best friend, right?"
"Yes, you two made that quite clear." Itachi said bitterly.
"Well we weren't always like that...there was a point when Kai hated me so much, that he did something terrible to me."
"What did Kai do? Tala you're shaking, like a cat trying to rid itself of water, after being bathed."
"...He...Itachi...Kai and I grew up in a place where children experienced unspeakable horrors...Because I was as good as him, Kai hated my guts...I was the reason he always had to try harder...He set out to change that...He set out to break me...And he did...After what he did I...I lost my focus...I became frightened...I was terrified just from being in the same room as him...I couldn't stand to be touched..."
"Wait, are you trying to tell me that Kai..." Itachi couldn't finish the conclusion he was drawing from Tala's words.
"Yes...and he's not...Itachi, he's not the only one who's forced himself on me...A lot of the workers at the abbey did...Kai's grandfather even tried, but dad saved me that time...Itachi, help me...I thought I would be fine, when Hiro came into my life...I thought that about Deidara too...but I can't stop these thoughts...I want to die...Help me...Please, help me..."
"Tala, you need to see a therapist."
"So you think I'm crazy too huh?"
"No, Tala I don't think you're crazy, I'm just worried you might try to kill yourself, and give in to the voice in your head."
"How did you know about that?"
"It's typical in victims of such abuse."
"It's harder to ignore with each day Itachi...I don't know what to do..."
"If you don't want to see a specialist, I won't force you, but if you don't, I'm afraid there's no way I can help you."
"There is. Itachi, don't get the wrong idea here, I'm not whoring myself to you, or anything like that...I just want to know what it feels like, to be treated nicely...I've never experienced sex without someone calling me vulgar words, or with preparation for penetration. Please...take me. If you're not just after me for a good fuck like I've been made to believe from your previous behavior, then show me...Itachi please...show me that you're different."
"You can't be serious...how can you even walk after that sort of thing?"
"I'm completely serious...and honestly, I still don't know."
"Tala, if you really want that, I'll grant your request, however, I want you to agree to seeing a specialist, if you still feel like you can't take it anymore after."
"I will, I promise, but if I'm truly a lost cause, if there is no hope for me, then I want to know what it feels like...Hiro doesn't know how to be kind, Deidara, could never be seme, at least not at this point in his life. He's still too innocent. You're the only one I have left...help me, please...help."
"I will, but I'm going to do this right. I'm going to take you on a date, and grant your request tonight. You deserve all the gentleness, all the kindness in the world. I'll give that to you."
"Can I, stay like this for a bit?" Tala curled up next to Itachi on the car seat, and put his head on his lap.
"Whatever you want angel, whatever you want." Itachi replied running a soothing hand up and down his back.
"Thank you." Tala said, inwardly hating the fact that Itachi had called him angel. He reminded himself, that this was all for the sake of revenge for what the raven had done to Deidara, and allowed himself to relax. Itachi had already bought his story, he didn't have to keep acting like he couldn't stand being touched.
"Tell me something, do you truly believe I'm stupid enough to fall for all this?" Itachi asked causing him to tense.
A/N: OK there's your last update of the week unless I can get a break while babysitting this weekend. I will see you all next week with chapter 10. Cliffy! YAY! RNR!