Six months later I couldn't go on for longer living in torment. I decided to turn my fantasy into reality. I fled from my companions and began the search. I used to call it the search for my soul mate. I was over whelmed when I started. Young women were everywhere, in my first attempts I would just walk the streets looking for one girl that would stand out and catch my eye. No hope. Every girl was so different and a glimpse of a girl walking by was not enough. My search lead me to Lockwood Girls High. This was better. Here I could watch them through the glass, hear them speak, see them smile this was where I found Natalie Cloveman.
She had glowing olive skin and caramel coloured eyes, her beauty drew me in like a mouth to a flame. She became the first. I followed her for a month, I got to know her friends and saw how she acted around them, I got to see what she did in her spare time but the more I watched the less I liked. Behind her beauty was a toxic mind. I saw the venom on her tongue as she talked about other girls behind there backs and her caramel eyes began to sparkle with hate. I stopped watching her.
The next girl I set my sights on was Agnes. Agnes had short ginger boy-like hair and the grin of an alligator. I liked her. She was charismatic and bubbly; she infected the people around her with happiness. I wanted to be infected by her happiness too. But the following of Agnes was short lived as I got to her home. As soon as she hit the door her happiness drained away. Her mother was very ill and Agnes was the only one there to look after her. It hit me then and there that I couldn't take Agnes from her mother. It was cruel.
I stayed in my hotel room for two days, the battle of right and wrong still fighting on in my head. Wrong prevailed and the next day I caught a public bus hoping that the gods would lead me to what I wanted; I spotted a young woman in a turquoise and grey stripped uniform. Maybe another school would give me what I wanted. I was not giving up. The uniform lead me to the gate if James Killianson's School of the Arts. This school was much different to Lockwood, both boys and girls filled the halls with turquoise and grey stripes, it was easier for me not to be noticed as I slid along the corridors. The school was for artistically talented students only; I walked past rooms laden with instruments and students belting out Shakespeare. It felt like the right place.
I began looking at girls, trying to process their different faces and categorize them in my mind. I ended up in an art studio. A girl sat their working feverishly on a large canvas, penciling features of an old detailed face; I assumed it was her grandmother. The girl's skin was the colour of chocolate and she had deep set almond shaped eyes. I watched her for awhile and made a decision – I would enroll tomorrow and get to know this girl better. She was my start as James Killianson.
The bell rang and the students began flooding their nearest exit. I stayed hidden wanting to explore more when the lights were down. The school looked grand at night, the dance halls looked vast and magnificent and the high ceiling created an elegant effect. I felt pleased. Something I didn't think I had felt in 15 years.
I heard feet padding along the floor in the room ahead. Someone was still here. Classical music floated down the hall and I pressed my eye to the glass panel on the door.
My heart was snatched from me.