James walked into his family home with a heavy heart. Despite his ceaseless efforts to try and rain in his ego, there was still something that Lily couldn't stand about him. His mother had picked up on his discomfort as soon as he dropped onto the platform with his friends. She had greeted them all cordially as usual, but as soon as they had departed she turned on James and quizzed him. Not wanting to cause any embarrassment to her son she had let the matter drop after his evasion of the topic, but James knew that her silence wouldn't last for long.

He kicked off his shoes, leaving them lying in the hallway beside two pairs of Wellington boots and a collection of his mothers shoes. Since his father had died, his family home had become a little more disorderly. His father had been a very tidy man and had kept the steady flow of mess that came from his wife and son under check. The state of the house bothered neither of the two remaining occupants in the least, but sometimes James wondered if his father could see them. If he could would he think they were insulting his memory, letting the place get so unkempt or whether he would laugh at their never-ending inability to tidy after themselves. His mother insisted that it would be the second and James had to agree with her. His father had been a genuinely kind hearted man and never resented tidying the house; he regarded their disarray as the sign of free and creative minds. Although his part of the dormitory was an outrageous mess, when James was at home he tidied up after himself and tried to tidy some of the jumble his mother had made in his absence. He knew that when the house was in order his mother was reminded of her husband and he liked to see her smile when walking into a neat room.

James walked down the hall into their spacious kitchen and waited for his mother to join him. She bustled in a moment later, a huge smile stretching her face as she saw him sat at the wooden kitchen table.

"So, come on," she said pouring them both some pumpkin juice and seating herself across from him, "tell me all about this last term. Quidditch, the boys, exams, late night excursions, lessons…girls" On the last word her eyes bored into his and he marvelled at his mother's unparalleled ability to understand what was bothering him.

James laughed, "That's a lot to tell mum!"

"I've got a while," she leant back in her chair radiating her happiness to see him.

"Well, we won the cup again, but I bet you could of guessed that, with Sirius and I on the team how could we not!"

Marie Potter shook her head laughing slightly, "I wonder how you fit your head through the door sometimes, James Potter."

For a second James was paralysed, knowing then that it was not only Lily who thought he was arrogant, but then he noticed that his mother was waiting for him to continue.

"I don't, I've had them widened," he joked and was glad to see his mother smile, "Anyway, there was this one game against Slytherin ad you know that huge oaf of a beater that I pointed out on the platform, well he was really badgering me the entire match, so Sirius stole his bat and used it for the rest of the game to score! Of course the beater wasn't very pleased about that, but hey it was funny!"

"Sometimes, it's easy to see the Black in that boy," Marie laughed. "When he was down her at Christmas and he made that joke about muggles, oh I thought I was looking at Orion Black, but then he goes and sends his mother that shrieking Christmas card! I bet she didn't get that to shut up for weeks!"

The mother and son spent the rest of the day laughing and joking as James slowly told her all about his time at Hogwarts since he had seen her at Christmas. His sharp mother noticed the way he skirted her questions about girls and bluntly ignored her questions about the ever present princess of his mind Lily Evans. She knew that if she pressed him now he would never tell her so she let him be.

The next morning James wandered into the living room to find his mother curled up on the sofa, her book forming an uncomfortable pillow. James had left her reading last night and he laughed at her dishevelled state. She stirred.

"Sorry, mum, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine James, I should probably have gone to bed."

The two of them laughed as James pulled on a coat.

"Where are you going so early?"

"It's half ten, and I'm going to Diagon Alley to meet Sirius."

"Okay, where is Sirius staying anyway? You did tell him he was always welcome here didn't you?" James saw the maternal instinct in his mother kicking in and rushed to save her the worry.

"It's fine mum, he's staying with his Uncle Alphard, you know the not so crazy one."

"Oh yes, I remember him telling me, the one who gave him that gold?"

"Yeah, that's the one. I have to go mum, I'll be back for tea tonight, see you later," He called almost out of the door already.

"See you later, be careful and be good!"

All she received in return to ease her mind was an easy laugh from her brave and sometimes foolish son. She knew that combination would be fatal to him one day, just like his father.


That same morning Lily Evans had rushed straight from her house at nine thirty after breakfast with her parents. She walked quickly to her local muggle library. She knew that the wizarding world was far ahead of the muggles in medicine, but she thought that just maybe their would be something in one of the books that could help her figure out what was wrong with Remus.

"Good morning Lily, it's been such a long time since I've seen you in here" Lisa the main librarian greeted her in her hushed voice.

"Yeah, they have a pretty extensive library at my school and I bring some books home with me for during the holidays."

"Oh that's good, schools should all have big libraries, reading really enriches children."

Lily liked Lisa, she always had, but she could be a little over the top in her love of books sometimes, so Lily made her apologies and moved to the reference section of the library, settling herself at a small table.

Lily read book after book. The Medicine of Men, Biological Developments of the 20th Century, The Atwood Dictionary of Ailments, Infectious Diseases at a Glance, How to Self Diagnose, Hereditary Diseases and their Treatments... Not one of them shed any light onto Remus' condition or how Lily could be of any assistance. At intervals during the day Lisa would join her and inquire about her frantic work. Lily told her it was a school project at which Lisa offered her help, but Lily politely declined.

At the end of the day Lily replaced all the books in their place within the Dewey Decimal and began to leave the library looking and feeling dejected.

"Not going well Lily?" Lisa asked helpfully.

"No not really, but I'll work it out soon, I always do."

"Yes of course you will, you're ever so bright Lily, that's why you're parents send you to that fancy school, isn't it?"

"Yeah, something like that."


James Potter walked through the arch in the back wall of the Leaky Cauldron into the bright and colourful world of Diagon Alley. He walked towards the first shop that caught his attention: Quality Quidditch Supplies. Once inside the darkened shop he began to ogle at the various makes and models of the latest broomsticks. As he was admiring the Hurricane 41 when a familiar voice spoke behind him.

"Beautiful isn't it. Wish I could afford one of those."

James span around and greeted Frank Longbottom with a huge smile.

"Oh yeah! Beautiful is not the word, mate. Bloody perfect more like!"

Frank laughed. "I can think of things that are more perfect."

The way Frank had spoken made James stop smiling and go a little red around the ears.

"Yeah, I guess…"

James felt uncomfortable. He knew exactly which way this conversation was going and it made him nervous. He was fine telling everyone how much he liked Lily, but he did it in that confident, "so what" kind of way. Frank wasn't like that. If they were going to talk about girls, there would be actual emotional feelings discussed and James didn't like admitting quite how much he adored Lily.

Frank had watched silently as all this played across James' face.

"Lily doesn't hate you, you know?" Frank said quietly.

"She's got a funny way of showing it," James' reply was barley mumbled as he turned back to the broomstick.

Frank came to stand beside him, similarly staring at the wood. "In fact, I actually think Lily is in love with you." He spoke as if James had not.

At this James could not contain his laughter, "Yeah course she does! In love with me…THAT'S what it is!"

"Well, she is certainly in love with one version of you."

"Excuse me, I don't have bloody split personality!" James was quickly growing annoyed but Frank persisted.

"You kinda do, in a way. Alice pointed it out and I guess she only saw it because Lily did, but once you've seen it, it's kind of obvious. There's the you that everyone else sees, the arrogant, ostentatious one, and then the other one."

"And what's the other one?" James said quietly.

"The one that looked after Lily after her grandmother died. The one that would take in and stand by his best friend even though his family could have you killed in seconds. The one that helps random little 1st years with confidence problems. The one that would leap in to defend a girl even when she throws it back in your face. The one that is trying to change for that same girl." Frank shrugged his shoulders. "That guys pretty cool, shame about the other one."

James was shell shocked. He stared at Frank without speaking and all he received in return was a small smile form the dark haired boy.

"Lily deserves a guy like the second one, don't disappoint her."

And with that Frank moved back across the shop to join a strange woman wearing a bizarre hat and who carried a huge red handbag.

James stayed standing in that spot for a long time before he moved away from the shop, holding his newfound knowledge to his chest. Lily loved him, even if it was just part of him. He would do everything he could to make that little part of him all of him.


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