A/N: For fair warning, this chapter made me cry as I was writing it, so be prepared for a tear jerker. And (shameless plug), I'm writing a new Grey's story now called "Grace's Amazing Hands", set during World War II, so if history is your thing, check it out. Anyways, hope you guys like this chapter. I really appreciated all the feedback and reviews! Thanks a million!

Derek quietly scrubbed his arms and hands, staring at the unconscious young man in his operating room. He had been Chris's surrogate father when Rob basically abandoned him. He had watched the young man grow up, until the Addison and Mark debacle caused Derek to run for the hills. And now, that kind, sweet boy had a terminal brain tumor.

"Derek," a soft female voice broke into his thoughts.

He looked up to see Meredith scrubbing in next to him, looking concerned. "You okay?" she asked.

He inhaled deeply and smiled at her reassuringly. "Yeah." He shut off the water and went into the operating room. Meredith joined him, carefully positioning herself next to the instrument tray.

Derek took a deep breath and looked up into the gallery. Addison sat up there, among the curious interns and hospital administrators. She caught his eye, and he smiled at her behind his mask.

"Okay folks, today is a good day to save lives," he began with his usual mantra. He glanced down at Chris, who looked like he was sleeping peacefully. "Let's get started here."

He held out his hand for the cranial drill, which he used to create the burr holes in Chris's bone flap. "Keep an eye on those vitals," he said, glancing up at the monitor. He carefully and masterfully drilled the last burr hole.

"Craniotome," he said. Meredith slapped the instrument into his hand, and he started it. It filled the room with a soft humming. He methodically cut a hole in the young man's bone flap. The last cut gave way with a dull sound. "Okay," he murmured. He pulled back the skull flap, exposing the brain.

Suddenly, a shrill beeping filled the operating room. Derek looked up at the monitor. "He's fibrillating!" he shouted, lowering Chris's head to the gurney. "Vitals!"

"Blood pressure unreadable," Meredith said, moving to the other side of the table.

"Paddles now!" Derek shouted. Meredith passed him the defibrillator paddles. "Charge to two hundred." Meredith pressed the button on the defibrillator. "Clear!"

Chris's body jumped as Derek sent electricity straight to his heart.

Meredith took over for Derek and began chest compressions. Derek quickly glanced up at the gallery. Addison had a look of utter horror on her face. Derek shook that image from his mind and turned back to the operating table.

"Charge again. Three hundred."

A nurse pushed the button on the machine. "Three hundred, go."

"Clear!"

Derek looked up at the EKG. It showed a single straight line. "Let's go to four hundred!" he shouted. "Clear!" Chris's body jerked again. "Flatline," he muttered. "Two hundred cc's isopyterenol." A nurse handed him the syringe and he slowly pushed it into the IV. "Dammit, come on, Chris," he whispered.

Meredith stared at the EKG as she continued chest compressions. "Beat," she whispered. "Come on, beat, damn you."

Derek stared at the machine. Still no change.

"Derek," Meredith whispered.

He sighed. "Call it." He tore off his gloves and mask in frustration and stomped out of the operating room.

Meredith inhaled deeply. "Time of death, 09:40." She glanced up at the gallery. Addison was gone.

Two hours later, Addison sadly nursed her martini at Joe's. The kindly bartender had immediately seen her expression and handed her a drink. By the looks of things, she needed one.

Addison glanced up as Meredith quietly sat down beside her. "Beer, please," the younger doctor said softly. Joe slid her bottle across the bar, and Meredith took a sip of the cold drink. "Martinis before lunch, huh?" she quipped.

"It's one of those days."

"You okay?"

Addison hesitated and inhaled sharply. A single tear slipped out and slid down her cheek. "No," she said simply.

Meredith looked at her questioningly. "Okay." She took another sip of her beer as they sat in silence.

"This must be killing you," Addison finally broke the silence.

"When you're ready to talk, I'll listen."

"Okay."

"Okay."

Neither spoke for another couple of minutes.

"You know," Addison finally said, "I spent all last night trying to prepare for this." She shook her head. "And I can't believe…" She took a deep breath, trying to force out the words. "I can't believe that he- he's gone."

"I don't think you can really ever prepare for this kind of thing."

"There's so much I should have said to him and done for him," Addison said, her voice starting to break. "And now, I can't." She sipped her drink. "He's gone, and it's my fault."

Meredith looked at her sharply. "No way is it your fault, Addison."

Addison shook her head. "I promised I'd take care of him. And now he's dead." She finally broke down in sobs, tears pouring down her cheeks.

Meredith placed a gently hand on Addison's heaving shoulders. "You did." She smiled as Addison looked at her with mascara running down her face. "You took care of him when no one else would."

Addison sniffled. "I guess so."

"I know so." Meredith smiled at her sadly. "You know, I only got to talk to him briefly, but he seemed like a good kid. And he wouldn't want you to be sad." Meredith reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a sealed envelope. "He gave this to me this morning, in case he…" She stopped and handed it to Addison. "I think you should read it."

Addison slowly reached for the envelope and cradled it in her hands.

The intern smiled at her boss and patted her on the shoulder. "I'll let you read it alone."

"No," Addison said, grabbing her hand. Meredith looked at her in shock. "I want," she said slowly. "I want you to stay here." Meredith smiled and sat back down as Addison slowly tore the envelope open.

Addie, the note said in Chris's scrawling handwriting, if you're reading this now, something bad happened to me. I know you're going to blame yourself for what's happened, because I know you're like that. Addison smiled.

But don't. I'm in a better place now. I meant what I said before, about not being afraid to die. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy. I'm with my mom, and I know she's thanking you for taking care of me and loving me.

You've been like the mom I never had. My entire life, you and Derek were the only constants. I'm grateful for the care and love that you provided, right up to the end. Believe it or not, you shaped me into the person I am today. My existence would have been miserable, had you not been there to kiss my scraped knees and hold me close after a nightmare.

I just want to ask one small favor. Never, ever forget me. Never, ever forget that I loved you. Addison glanced up to see tears running down Meredith's cheeks.

Tell my dad that I loved him. Tell him I'm sorry for all the pain I caused him.

I remain always and forever, Addie, affectionately yours.

Addison quietly folded up the paper as Meredith wrapped an arm around her shaking shoulders. "I don't think I could ever forget that boy," Meredith whispered, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Yeah. Me neither."

Addison looked at Meredith and smiled. "Thanks, Grey."

Meredith smiled back. "Any time."

"Now, if you'll excuse me, there's something I have to do."

Meredith smiled and squeezed her shoulder. She grabbed her beer and walked out into the pouring Seattle rain.

Left alone, Addison sighed and pulled out her cell phone. She looked at it for a minute, and then flipped it open and dialed a number she hadn't dialed in a long time. "Hey, Rob?" she said, clutching Chris's letter. "It's Addie. I have something to tell you."

Gravity has taken better men than me, how can that be?
Just keep me where the light is