Sirius Black's Guide To Dealing With Girls
By Lily Orange
This chapter is dedicated to everybody who reads this story and reviews and favourites and alerts (full list at the bottom!) and I hope you have a Merry Christmas, a fantastic new year and a happy holiday. This was a really quick update and this is a biggun of a chapter, I hope you like it!
Rule 3:
Be creative in your compliments.
All girls like to receive compliments and it is a sure way to present yourself as an ideal boyfriend if you know how to provide them in the correct way that girls find utterly irresistible. Now, in order to demonstrate this properly without a visual aid, I have decided to incorporate a few case studies that I think would be of invaluable use to you. So pay attention (Says you who spends class either sleeping, flirting with girls or pranking people – Moony) and listen very carefully to what I say.
Case Study #1 – Mr "Nice" Guy
It's the easiest word in the dictionary to use in the way of complimenting somebody, yet it is the most BORING. The boys who say, "Your hair looks nice," or, "You're wearing nice shoes," rarely get anywhere. To be fair, many girls may be flattered that you have noticed that she has done something different with her hair or is wearing new shoes, but the imagination is just not evident. I decided to test this using three different girls, who I also tested my other ways of complimenting on – Anna, Belinda and Carmen (A, B and C). As this is a scientific book (HA, HA, HA! – Moony), we have made it a fair test by conducting this experiment on consecutive days on three separate girls, but the same three each day in different parts of the castle. Also, as was pointed out to me by an adoring fan (Oh so modest – Prongs) girls tend to love me all the time whatever I say so I tested my compliments on Anna, Moony tested his compliments on Belinda and Wormtail tested his compliments on Carmen. James, if you cared – which you don't – was too busy snogging Lily. Here is what happened in each case:
A)
Me: "Hey Anna, your hair looks nice today."
A: "Really, Sirius? Do you think so? That's so kind of you! I was wondering; did you want to go to Hogsmeade with me?"
Me: "Yeah alright then."
In this case I was successful and gained a date with a very hot girl who is so hot she is not just hot, she is hot and spicy!
B)
Moony: "Hi Belinda, your shoes look nice."
B: "Thanks Remus. Do you know what the homework was in Astronomy? I kind of fell asleep."
Moony: "Yes, it was *cue Moony droning on about completely boring stuff*." (Hey, it wasn't boring! Astronomy is highly interesting, actually – Moony)
In this case Moony managed to begin a conversation about schoolwork, but at least he sustained Belinda's interest for a quarter of an hour whilst discussing Astronomy, so it was a partial success.
C)
Wormtail: "Hello Carmen, your jacket is nice."
C: "Um, really? Because it's my school robe."
Wormtail: "Oh, right, well–"
C: "Bye Peter." At this point, Carmen walks off.
Unfortunately for dear Wormy Pie (Hey! I told you to stop using that nickname! – Wormtail) he wasn't really successful with being Mr "Nice" Guy. Hopefully, and I'm sure this will be the case, he will have more success with future compliment-making.
Case Study #2 – Meet the new Superhero, THESAURUS MAN!
This is when, instead of saying something is "Nice", therefore being Mr "Nice" Guy, you use a wider vocabulary. If, like some people I could mention, you lack an extensive vocabulary (I'd like to point out that Padfoot didn't know that melancholy meant miserable until yesterday, he previously thought it was some sort of contagious disease, which caused him to get weird looks in the common room when Lily said she was melancholy and he scrambled underneath the sofa shouting "DISEASE! CONTAGION! I WANT TO KEEP MY LIFE! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"; it was the most hysterically funny thing you have ever seen in your whole entire life – Prongs) then pop along to the library and check out a thesaurus. They are actually quite entertaining as reading material (But only if you look up the rude words – Wormtail) but look up some synonyms for words such as "nice" or "pretty" – you could eventually end up with superb words such as "striking", "dazzling" and "beatific" which will impress a girl much more than being Mr "Nice" Guy, instead, be the new superhero, Thesaurus Man!
A)
Me: "Hey Anna, you look absolutely stunning today, your eyes look especially striking."
A: "Oh my Merlin, thanks so much, Sirius! That means a lot!"
You don't get more successful than that unless you step it up a notch, which we will be doing in a bit.
B)
Moony: "Hi Belinda, Merlin, you have a dazzling smile!"
B: "Aw, Remus, that's one of the nicest things anybody has ever said to me!"
Moony: "No problem, it's true!"
I was very proud of this as Belinda seems to be warming up to Remus during this little scenario, which means him empowering his inner Thesaurus Man works like a treat!
C)
Wormtail: "Hello, Carmen, you look particularly beatific today."
C: "Thanks Peter, that's really kind of you to say."
Wormtail: "It's okay."
CARMEN DIDN'T EVEN RUN OFF! See how successful I am, and there is still a third level to get to?
Tip: If you feel that you are struggling to empower your inner Thesaurus Man, stand in front of a mirror and chant rhythmically, to yourself, in a bold and cheery voice, "I am Thesaurus Man. I am Thesaurus Man. I am Thesaurus Man!" That should work brilliantly! (What if, like when I did it, somebody walks in on you and thinks you are a psycho, like Prongs did with me? – Wormtail)
Case Study #3: The Thesaurus-Continuation Hybrid
The best compliments boys can give to the object of their affections is one which is imaginative (hence the empowering your inner Thesaurus Man exercise) but also stimulates conversation that further compliments and flatters her, causing her to blush and feel special. Therefore, you must become a THESAURUS-CONTINUATION HYBRID! This very scientific term (HA! – Prongs) basically means that you have to use inventive and inspired adjectives to describe something you particularly like about her – hence the Thesaurus part – but also ask her questions that continue to flatter her and mean that you can have a lengthy conversation that is both interesting and exhibits your kindness and other talents – hence the Continuation part. For example:
A)
Me: "Hey Anna, you are looking stunning today. Did you spend extra time over your hair and makeup, or do you look that beautiful naturally?"
A: Anna is too overwhelmed to speak and I have to find her a chair to sit down on to overcome her feelings of faintness.
Bloody hell, you don't get much more successful than that! Follow my pristine and suave example and you shall go far!
B)
Moony: "Hi Belinda, your eyes are so utterly mesmerizing, I've never seen any so striking. I'm sure you don't wear contacts, do you?"
B: "No, that is my actual eye colour! Wow, Remus, you are one of the most complimenting and romantic boys I have ever had the upmost luck and fortune to meet."
Moony: At this point I feel it is appropriate to say Moony leaned in closer to Belinda. "Really?"
B: She leans in even closer so they are practically touching noses and modifies her voice slightly so that it is huskier and seductive. "Really..."
At this point Belinda starts snogging Moony.
I am ecstatic that my dear Moonykins took my advice, and managed to be extremely successful through using my Thesaurus-Continuation Hybrid technique! Well done, Moony, ol' buddy, ol' pal!
C)
Wormtail: "Hello Carmen, you know what I said yesterday, about you being utterly beatific?"
C: "Yes?" Wormtail informed me that at this point Carmen was smiling at him like the Cheshire Cat out of Alice in Wonderland. To be brutally honest, I don't know who this is, but Prongs told me that many of you would so I should include it. What on EARTH is Wonderland?
Wormtail: "Well, you look even more so today."
C: "Peter, you're really sweet, you say the loveliest things; would you like to be my partner in Potions for when we make the Draught of Peace?"
Wormtail: "Yes please."
Aw, I am practically CRYING with happiness that my dearest, darling Wormy Pie (GRRRR! – Wormtail) fully embodied my technique and actually was successful! What a cracking attempt mate, what a cracking attempt!
Moony
Actually, what Padfoot has done here and asked me, or rather, FORCED ME to do, (Hey! I was extremely polite when I asked you to help me! I gave you the option of helping me or being pushed out of the window, didn't I? That's providing you with a choice! – Pads) highlighted exactly what girls like and respond to.
Girls, from what I gathered, relish hearing a compliment that is well thought out and not a generalized comment that sounds as if it has been utilised on hundreds of girls (Though, if it's Padfoot complimenting you, it is most likely that the compliment has been recycled as his brain is not big enough to invent a unique compliment for every girl he tries to chat up – Prongs, the best friend of Pads, who loves me very much and won't hurt me for saying that!), so do exactly as Padfoot said (Blessed be Merlin? Did I just hear Moony advising you to take my advice? I never thought I'd see the day! – Pads, the ex-best friend of Prongs who is promptly going to be shoved out of the window) and be imaginative.
Prongs
Now I have convinced Pads, lovely, lovely Paddykins, not to push me out of the window (I still haven't ruled it out! – Padfoot), I can provide some nuggets of wisdom for you all. Firstly, I should like to point out that when Padfoot said, and I quote directly, "All girls like to receive compliments", he was not, in fact, correct. My darling, divine, stunning, striking, exceptional Lily lent me a book by Jane Austen entitled Mansfield Park in which the heroine, Fanny Price – no funny comments, Pads (Wasn't gonna! – Paddy) – actually preferred to blend into the background and was embarrassed by people complimenting her. Eventually, though, the love of her life, Edmund Bertram (Sounds like a frog! – Pads), persuaded her that she was pretty and ought to become used to being something worth looking at. Sometimes girls need to be brought out of their shells and you need to show them attention and make them feel special. Therefore tailor your compliments and the way you flatter her specifically to her and the feelings you possess for her.
Wormtail
I actually have quite a bit to say on this one because I participated in the experiment.
Carmen was really nice and it was easy to see that as I developed the compliments I provided her with, she became more responsive.
She is now my partner in Potions and is really nice and kind to me and always pays attention to what I'm saying.
So follow Sirius' advice and you, too, could (live happily ever after! – Padfoot, Hogwarts' Casanova) gain a response from the girl you like.
So my thank yous: thank you to Kuroi Kasai, Stephie Cat-Kat, vanillabean18, sarlovesoccer, .limits111, IHaveASiriusObsession, bananacupcakes, Marlicat, junebugbug96 and LozzT-In-Time for reviewing; thank you to Haruki Riku, .snivellus, imatruenut, Kuroi Kasai, LozzT-In-Time, Stephie Cat-Kat and the5city for adding my story to your favourites and thank you to bananacupcakes, Joelle8, junebugbug96, Kuroi Kasai and Stephie Cat-Kat for adding my story to your alert subscriptions! This was a quick update, I don't know if the next one will be here before the end of next week but I hope so :) Have a great Christmas,
:) x Lily Orange x (: