AN: I don't own anything, this story is fictional. The roots created by Mark Schwahn so if anyone gets credit its him.
Thank you for the reviews, I wasn't sure if anyone was gonna like it so I wasn't planning on continuing. Please review you don't even have to be logged in now ;) ,lol. Im really surprised no one has figured it out yet, it makes me laugh because I thought that everyone would know since I threw in a few hints so if you guys would like to take guesses I might say Yay or nay. Im planning for this to be Brucas fanfic, but they won't over power the story, so if you don't like Brucas don't worry it shouldn't be to over powering :) this story is focused on Brooke the other characters from one tree hill will play a parts im not sure how big though. But you can for sure look forward to Lucas, Rachel, Nathan and Haley. Most of this story is from Brooke's POV, when its not I will let you know. ENJOY
I keep repeating those two words in my head. Thinking it's not real, it's all a dream. But its not, I've known for awhile. I knew I was sick, I knew I would die. We all die, the only special or different thing about it is how old you are, was it slow or fast, painful or painless little details like that. But if you think about it those details aren't so little they can be the difference of living 8 years or 88. Or in my case 33, the number 33 represents love and marriage, nurturing and successful, devotion, kind and stable. When I think about it, it seems like a bunch of shit im 33 and none of this stuff is happening to me. But then I think of the last meaning of the number 33 which is "champion of the underdog". What a bunch of bull, if this number really means that then why am I dying. I would consider myself the underdog, I have a disease, why isn't it curable, why isn't the treatment slowing it down or something. I hate this number, I hate it.
God Im being selfish and I know it. Things could have gone worse for me. I shouldn't want people to feel sorry for me I usually don't but sometimes if some guy is being a dick or women a bitch I will let them know that they shouldn't worry they won't have to deal with me much longer. I know this sounds horrible but the satisfaction when I see there face is worth it. But don't worry im not so self centered and needy that I go around saying it to anybody who will listen but I don't hide it. Sometimes I get the "im so sorry" response but that's about all they say. I can't blame them what do you say when someone tells you there dying "my condolences". I had someone in my office say that to me one time. I screamed at them "Im not dead yet". Then there are others who have got this green look on there face like there gonna be sick, why should they be sick there not the ones dying. Its not even a sweet thing either, it's a "oh my god I just made contact with a sick/dying person let me go wash my hands and never look back". I've lost many a friends because of this disease. But oh well, I figure the more people I scare away the smaller the church can be for my funeral, because if I had everyone who had met me and loved me (wink wink) we would need a church the size of Donald Trump's house. What just because im dying does not mean that I still don't have a since of humor. I am Brooke Davis, you shouldn't expect anything less.
When I was a teenager I used to think that I would die when I was like in my 70's or 80's. I would be a widow, a rich widow. Would have found myself some young hot twenty something year old to satisfy my needs. Because hopefully I wont be to old, wrinkly, crippled, and un attractive that no one would have sex with me. Then my final minutes would be having sex and I would have like a heart attack or stroke or something and just bam I was dead. I guess that would suck for the hot guy but what would I have cared I would be dead. That would have been my dream way to go out. Not your traditional, "I hope I die in my sleep" nonsense. How boring is that, I mean im going to be trapped in a box for eternity I sure as hell don't want to go out the same way im going to be forever. I want to leave the world the same way I came in, kicking and screaming.
I remember a quote I read one time
"There will be two dates on your tombstone, everyone will read them but the only thing that matters, is the little dash in-between."
Now that I think about, I've decided to live my life as much as possible before I leave this earth. So my mission is to grace as many people with my presence, make some sort of impact, say goodbye to forgotten and lost friends. But most importantly have fun(well as much as possible).
But I also know that Im gonna get weaker and weaker and things are not gonna be fun no matter how much they should be it wont be because the fact of the matter still is the same.
Im dying
" youre not gonna live forever. Youre gonna die. Were all gonna die. Me. Her. You. Youre dying right now. Right this minute. Right this second. See there? That second passed. Its gone. Not gonna come again. And while Im talking to you, every second Im talking, a second is passing. Gone. Count them up. Count them down. Theyre gone. Each one bringing you closer to your death."