the next morning i woke up and i packed i couldn't live anymore this place....this family....i don't deserve to be happy.....finding money was gonna be easy...getting away from alice and esme was not
i walked downstairs i saw alice sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfest ''hi Alice'' i said as i walked beside her
''hey bella where are you going ?'' she asked confused ''i'm going over to emmetts'' i mumbled
''oh, well have fun'' she said ''oh and bella be back by 6:00'' alice said but i wasn't coming back
''OK'' i said as normal as i could make it sound ''bye'' alice said ''bye Alice i'll miss you'' i mumbled
''miss me but your only going next door'' she said ''yeah i know but i still will'' i said pathectically
i walked out the door and walked over my brothers edward waved at me i would miss him the most.......
''hi bella are you ok you seemed preety strange yesterday'' edward asked
''i'm fine'' i lied
''really ?'' edward asked seeing right thruh my lie
''yes'' i said edward was coming closer now
''your sure ?'' he asked he put his hand on my forehead checking my tempature
''edward i'm not sick'' i said he ran his finger down my cheek making me cold
''then whats wrong ?'' he asked i decided its now or never tell him and he won't let you leave or don't tell him and let him think its his fault
i took a deep breath....''edward i'm leaving'' i said waiting for his reaction
''i think thats a good idea'' he said
''really ?'' i asked confused
''yeah go home lay down on second thought i'll walk you there'' edward said taking my hand
''no edward i mean i'm leaving washington'' i told him his face fell
''Why ?'' he asked hurt
''i can't to this anymore i can't pretend i'm ok i killed my mother'' i said
''no you didn't-'' i cut him off
before i was about to speak edward cut me off '' just let me finish emmett told me what happened'' edward said
''he did ?'' i asked confused
''yes'' he said still hurting
i was crying now
''listen bella'' edward said taking my face in his hands ''i love you i really do'' he said the words i've been dying for him to say
i had to lie to the love of my life.......''i'm sorry....but i don't'' i regreted those words as soon as i thought them edward's face fell a wave of pain came off of him
'' you don't'' he asked as if he heard wrong
''i don't'' i said walking away
''i'm sorry for this'' i said
''yeah me to'' edward said quietly he started to walk away i stopped him
''edward'' i said it hurt to say his name
''yes'' he said
'' you won't tell anybody will you....'' i asked
he just shook his head
''thank you'' i said
i got on the bus crying the whole time i called aunt libby she said she would take me back
i stared at the ceiling as i always do i decided to go to the graveyard i saw my mothers name and stopped there i layed the roses on her grave
''um i don't really know what to say mom'' i said
''i love you and miss you i had a great family and i'm in love'' i said i told mom about edward how amazing he was i told her about emmett and laughed at some of the stuff he did
''i'm sorry'' i said ''bye mom love you'' i blew a kiss then walked away
i wrote in my journal..
maybe saying sorry isn't enough .........maybe you have to do that person your saying sorry to a favor...i have to go into the forest i have to kill myself..
NEXT CHAPTER. my blood is in your hands.....
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