"…Drabble 3. Pleaz Review. : )…."

Needful Things

Aaron Hotchner watched from behind as his youngest agent stood awkwardly over the grave. He knew why Spencer had visited the grave, and he knew that he was expecting him to follow him. A frown formed on Aaron's face when he heard Spencer sniffle. Sadness- that wasn't exactly what he was expecting. He expected his lover to hold him when they heard the news, whisper to him that it would be all right, but all the while be secretly be happy. But no, he had been wrong, and that was something he was used to by now.

Aaron approached Spencer cautiously. He stood closely behind him as they both stared down at the grave that was half-covered with snow. He studied the vacant but focused look in his lover's eyes as they studied the grave beneath them, one hand in his pocket, the other on his eagle head-tipped cane. Finally, Spencer spoke up.

"She was an amazing woman." Spencer said. His eyes hesitated to look up, but when the did, Aaron could tell that Spencer had taken the death almost as hard as he had.

"She was." Aaron agreed, stepping closer to the grave. "Did you bring the purple hyacinths?" Spencer nodded. "I've never seen one at a funeral."

"Purple Hyacinths mean 'I'm sorry'. " his younger partner explained. Then, after a pause, he continued. "I suppose you brought the gardenia?" This time, it was Aaron's turn to nod. " 'My secret lover.' " Spencer said with a humorless laugh. "I guess we both were trying to tell Haley something."

"Yeah, I suppose so." Aaron mumbled distractedly, his eyes never lifting from the two flowers- one white, one purple- laying side by side on his ex-wife's grave.

"Do you regret it, Aaron?" Spencer asked. Their eyes locked for a moment, a look of understanding crossing Aaron's stone-cold features.

"Haley gave me Jack; she gave me a few happy memories, a reason to try and make things work out." Aaron sighed, his head shaking. "But we were never going to work out. In a sense, we were too much alike, but too different. She wanted a spouse who could be there for her, and so did I, but for the opposite reasons she did. She wanted to get married and have children, wanted to settle down with a job she loved-with people she loved. But no matter how many things we agreed on, we never wanted the same thing." Spencer just nodded, knowing that Aaron needed to be left with his thoughts. But after a few minutes, a new thought came to mind.

"Did you ever regret us?"

Aaron's head shot up. He hadn't expected Spencer to ask him that, but he could understand why he had. He reached over to take Spencer's hand and pressed him by his sides until he was closer to him. Spencer leaned his head against Aaron's chest, waiting for Aaron to respond. He kissed Spencer's soft cheeks, stroking the area when his lips left the pale skin. "I love you more than I could have ever loved her, Spencer. Things are different now-no regrets anymore."

"Is that what you think you should say, or is that what you want to say?" Spencer asked in a small, quivering voice. The temperature had dropped significantly in the few minutes- or was it hours?- they had been standing outside. The pure white snow had started falling again, and he knew that he needed to go Spencer home. Being born in Las Vegas, his body wasn't quite used to the chill compared to his own body's resistance.

"It's what I want to say, Spencer. It's how I feel." Hotch replied. "I hated hiding us, and now we don't have to do that. We can be open again- it'll be better now." Spencer just nodded. He knew that Aaron would say that; he just needed to hear the words aloud.

Aaron bent down near the grave and picked up the two flowers. Spencer frowned, unsure of what his lover was planning. With a reassuring 'Hotch Smile' on his face, Aaron wrapped a hand around Spencer's waist and lead him inside the funeral house, where a fireplace, a single wooden table, four matching chairs, and a red Christmas candle was on the table. He helped Spencer limp toward the arched fireplace and handed Spencer his flower. "No regrets." he started. "Haley doesn't need two flowers telling her that we're together. She knows that now, and it's time to let this go. You're not my dirty little secret, and that's exactly what these flowers make you." Spencer looked up at his lover, his heart heavy. Aaron held his hand as he lifted the white flower into the flames, letting the fire engulf the secrets they'd kept. Spencer gently tossed his flower in after Aaron's.

The two men watched their secrets burn, the flames reflecting in their eyes. Aaron patted Spencer's shoulder, prompting him to start walking again. "It's time to go home." With a nod from Spencer, they started off to 'home'.

After all, when all the layers of love and hate were pulled back and their true surfaces were revealed- all they were was needful things….