DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR T0 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

A/N: nothing much to say except to review after you read!

chapter playlist:

21 guns- green day girl with one eye- Florence + the machine alice- avril lavigne hear me- Kelly Clarkson airplanes (featuring Hayley Williams)- B.o.B. handshakes- metric possibility- lykke li poster of a girl- metric hear you me- jimmy eat world speed of sound- chris bell candles- hey Monday today was a fairytale- taylor swift 1,2,3,4- plain white t's my love- sia nick & norah's theme- Mark Mothersbaugh slow life- grizzly bear with Victoria legend With You in my head (feat. The black angles)- UNKLE I'm yours- Jason mraz nine in the afternoon- panic! At the disco need you now- lady antebellum the police and the private- metric use somebody- kings of leon

When I was done eating, we turned the TV on. I resumed where I was on 10 Things I Hate About You, from where I fell asleep. But I was deep in thought.

I felt Edward staring at me. Every so often I would look at him, and we would both smile, I would blush.

This only fueled the thoughts racing in my head.

I love Jacob. He's everything to me. My sun. My friend. My wolf. My love. He listens to me, and just know's when to say things. And the right things to say. He's always there for me. We are so much like each other. I guess that's why we were friends. He's helped me through so much. And I can't ignore the fact that I love him. But he's also ignoring me. And what about the imprinting thing? I mean, I know that Edward will never stop loving me. But Jacob, one day… won't love me. Plus the Volturi said I need to become a vampire. Jacob will hate me when I'm one. Jacob. He's so nice, and warm, and cuddly, and lovable.

But in a way, I feel like I cheating on him.

I love Edward. He's everything to me too. My freezer. I laughed out loud and Edward looked at me.

"Something funny?" He asked. I was going to say the movie, but we were at the part, where Kat is reading the poem and she's crying. So I told the truth. Sorta.

"I was just thinking."

"Ahh." He said as he nodded.

Edward. He was my first love. He's perfect in every way. He wants me in every way, even though I'm just normal Bella. He won't ever leave me. He's caring. And never forgets anything. He would do anything for me. He would kill himself if it means I got to survive. But I'd do it too if the roles were reversed. I belonged with him, and I knew it. Did I never stop loving him? Did I betray Jacob, by loving someone else at the same time? Is it really wrong to love Edward too? But I hurt Edward too. I rejected him. And my feelings for him. I can't deny it anymore. Especially after that kiss. God no I can't deny it. I have strong feelings. The same I have for Jacob.

I want Edward. All of him. Every single part. I want to kiss him. I want him to make love to me. Live forever with him and his family. I want him. So badly. I want to be in love with him.

I want Jacob. I have him already. At least I did. I want him too. I want to have children with him and be happy and live a long life. Be my best friend, and sit beside me as we turn old and grey, watching our grandkids run in the yard. I want to be in love with him.

I was clearly confused.

"Edward why do you love me?" I asked suddenly.

He frowned for a minute, and then grinned. "Because you're beautiful. Amazing. Perfect. Soft. Cuddly." He raised his eyebrows. "Intoxicating. And there are so many other reasons, but it would take me all day to list them."

I looked down as my cheeks turned pink, and then I yawned.

"Bella, I'm keeping you up." He said quietly.

I yawned again. "No you're not."

He gave me a you've-got-to-be-kidding look, I sighed, and curled into a ball. My head was resting slightly on him. "Goodnight Bella, sweet dreams." He said sweetly as I closed my eyes.

I felt something hard on my right side, I opened my eyes, to see Edward frozen on my couch. He looked pissed.

The sun was coming through the window, and he sparkled a bit. I bit back a smile from how beautiful he was.

Edward was still in the same position.

"What's wrong?" I whispered. I uncurled myself, and sat crosslegged on the couch.

"The mutt is coming." He spewed out. I could hear the venom dripping off his tongue, as he said this.

I could feel my jaw drop. "How do you know?" I choked out.

"I can hear his thoughts."

My breathing started coming faster, I felt Edward hold my hand tightly.

"Bella, relax." He started removing his hand from mine.

"Don't!" I nearly yelled. "It's comforting, and it's the only thing keeping me from hyperventalting."

I tightened my grip on his hand, I'm sure if he was human, he would be hurting right now.

Knocks came from the front door.

"Bella, you home?" Jacob's voice echoed.

I was lost for words, Edward nudged me.

"Come in." I said vaguely.

The door opened, and Jacob walked in. I saw his eyes narrow, when he noticed my holding on to Edward's hand for dear life.

"How could you do that to her!" Edward snarled.

"Edward, relax. It's not the attacking thing I have a problem with." I muttered.

"That's not what I'm talking about." Edward said slowly glaring at Jacob.

"Then what are-"

"Did I do that to you Bella?" Jacob interrupted.

I nodded. I looked down at my leg too. I was wearing extremely short shorts, and I was freezing. My leg wasn't bandaged anymore, because it was too uncomfortable. But you could still see the stitches. I was supposed to get them out tomorrow.

He had tears in his eyes, "I'm really sorry, I keep hurting you." He sat down on the coffee table in front of Edward and I. Edward flinched.

"Jacob I don't really care about my leg right now. What's going on? How come you just left, and didn't come back, and," I could feel tears running down my face. "Not even call me back, and-" I choked off into sobs, Edward cradled me in his chest.

"Shh, it's okay Bella." He whispered.

"So you're with him now?" Jacob asked. He was grimacing.

My eyebrow furrowed. "No, I thought I was with someone else." I spit out.

"Being me?" Jacob muttered.

I nodded.

"Why Jacob?" I breathed in deeply. "Why didn't you at least call me?"

"Because, I felt so guilty, and I couldn't stand to see you hurt like that."

"So you just left?" I nearly shouted. "I thought you loved me." I whispered.

"Tell her Jacob!" Edward yelled.

I turned, and my eyes met Edward's. "Tell me what?"

"Bella, I'm so sorry." Jacob pleaded.

"Just say it, mongrel." He said again.

"I didn't mean for it to happen."

I held on to Edward's hand harder. "Jacob please tell me what's going on." I gritted through my teeth.

"I can't." He whispered.

"You. Have. Too." I said.

"Bella I'm sorry." He mumbled.

"If you don't tell her I will!" Edward said. I swear if looks could kill, Jacob would be dead.

"I can't control it, and I'm just so sorry."

"Dammit!" Edward yelled. He was still glaring at Jacob. "He imprinted Bella! Imprinted!"

I felt my heart stop. I stood up quickly and ran out through the door. I tripped over nothing, and stumbled across the grass.

I clutched my chest, as I cried hysterically. Edward's cool arms wrapped around me. I pressed myself close to him, and continued to weep. I kept hearing Jacob apologize over and over again, but it didn't mean anything to me right now.

Edward rubbed soothing circles on my back, and kept whispering things in my ear, trying to calm me down. Kind of like a mother, talking to her baby.

How could this happen? Especially now? I lost Jacob. Forever. I hated whoever stole his heart. I hated her. Why did it have to be her?

I love Jacob so much. It felt like the day in the woods, when Edward left. Except the pain wasn't as bad. But still bad.

Why did I keep crying over Jacob Black. I'm tired of crying about Jacob. Especially in front of Edward. It hurts him. It hurts me.

I will no longer shed a tear for Jacob Black.

I squeezed my eyes for a minute, and turned so I was sitting on Edward's lap.

I glared at Jacob.

"Go Jacob!" I yelled.

His face softened. "What?"

"Get away from here! And never come back! I don't want to see your face again!" I screamed.

I felt a tear roll down my face.

Oh well that plan worked out perfectly.

More tears came and Edward picked me up, yelled many profanities at Jacob, and he took me into the house.

I laid on his chest, and let my tears fall.

a/n: dont worry do you really think i will keep jacob away? well you have to keep reading if you want to find out! review!