"…And Lastly, Drabble 5. : ) Pleaz R&R?…Oh, and keep in mind you can vote for your fave contest entry! Check out my pg for details!…A huge shout-out to they'recominingtotakemeaway, who was the first person to get a taste of this story.

WARNING: some sad-ass crap!…. "

Gracious Things

Aaron Hotchner could feel Spencer Reid slipping away from him- could feel him become resolved from their relationship and curl into himself. He could see his lover's eyes close and struggle to reopen. He could practically smell the deception radiating off him as he started ignoring him all-together. He could taste the tears running from his eyes as he kissed him at night, praying that he could hold him again one day. He could hear him whimper as he pushed him down on the bed, prodding him to get some sleep. And as he turned around to leave what was once their bedroom, he could just barely hear him again. He turned around so he could listen to him better, closing some of the distance that had been placed between them.

"What did you say, Spencer?" Aaron gently prodded, gently placing the gracious hand in his own.

"I love you, Aaron." Spencer whispered. Aaron sighed before lowering his upper body to kiss his boyfriend's chapped and faded lips.

"I know, Spencer." And with that, he left the room, leaving Spencer to sleep even if he knew that he wouldn't, neither of them would. Aaron walked down his hallway until he reached the kitchen, where he settled down with a mug full of coffee and a splitting headache that never seemed to go away. He knew that both his lover's resigned behavior and his headaches were normal after what they had both suffered, but it still hadn't made any of it easier to cope with. He hated seeing Spencer so miserable- not that he was doing any better himself- and he wished that he could take away his pain. But he knew that wishing wouldn't help either of them. There seemed to be no hope left for the couple, and they didn't know how they would survive. He sat down his cup; he wasn't in the mood for the caffeine-filled drink. His eyes wandered off to a framed picture of Jack, Spencer, and himself. He studied the happy memory for a moment before forcing his eyes away. He had to sleep tonight; Spencer and himself started working again tomorrow, and they needed all the energy they could get. Suddenly, the house phone started ringing. He sprinted into the living room to answer it, not wanting to wake Spencer up in case he actually was sleeping.

"Hello?" he answered groggily.

"Go to bed." Rossi demanded.

"Dave, you know I can't do that." Aaron sighed.

"It's been half a year, Aaron. I know it's impossible to get over this, but you're going to have to try. You're back at the BAU tomorrow; that should help some, you know? Give you a chance to get something else on your mind."

"I know, Dave. We're both trying our best, but it never seems to be good enough." After a brief silence over the phone waves, Rossi started up again.

"How's he doing?"

"Spencer's not doing good." Aaron admitted. "He's so resigned…..so inactive. It's like all his energy was drained from him."

"This kind of loss is always devastating." Dave sighed. "It's going to take a while for things to get better."

"It's going to be while before I can even think straight again."

"Still having those headaches?"

"Stress headaches, yeah." Aaron answered. "The doctor said I'll have them for a while."

"Listen, if you want to take some more time off…" Rossi started, but Aaron stopped him.

"Spencer and I have already discussed this. We need to get back to work. We know it's going to be a challenge, but we have to get out and do something other than walk around the city aimlessly."

"I suppose I understand." Rossi sighed. "Just…call if you need anything, okay?"

"Of course."

"And get some sleep." And with that, Dave hung up.

Aaron let out a shaky breath as he sat his phone backed down. His eyes scanned back over the kitchen table as he walked past it, the article on the front cover from all those months ago still mocking him:

CHILD DROWNS AT LOCAL LAKE

The child, identified recently as Jack Hotchner, son of Aaron and Haley Hotchner, drowned last night at the local lake. Jack Hotchner was in the care of local neighbor; his mother being deceased and his father being out of town for his job with the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit, the boy was being baby-sat by trusted neighbors. Witnesses claim that the child had been wading in the water as the Hotchner's neighbor prepared a lunch for the children who were at the lake when a strong current washed over the shore, making the child lose his grip. Unable to swim back to the top, the boy died before anyone could have reached him-

Aaron hastily flipped the paper over. He'd read the damned thing over and over again, but none of it made any sense. He had forgave his neighbor after their heart-filled apology. He feigned it off, though. He reassured her that it wasn't her fault and nothing could have prevented it. It wasn't angry at her-no, but nothing could take back the moment his heart stopped as he received the phone call in Maine saying that his son was dead.

Aaron quietly made his way to the bathroom to ready himself for restless sleep. He quickly took a shower, changed his clothes, and prepared the guestroom for the night. As he laid in bed, his hands reached underneath the mattress for the small black box he had kept safely away from the world. As he opened it and studied the simple but elegant band, he read the single word inscribed on the inside: Gracious. He had planned on asking for Spencer's hand the day the Jack died, but once he received the news, he had all-but forgotten it. So he tucked it back under the mattress, sighing as he did so. As much as he wanted to marry Spencer, he knew that the timing just wasn't right. The day when their breathing stopped faltering when they passed a body of water; the day they could smile and think about thoughts again; the day they could look at each other and feel passion- not remorse; the day that their hearts started beating again, and the world started to spin- that was the day he would ask. It wasn't time, and Aaron often wondered if it would ever be time again.

The sound of knocking on his door made Aaron jolt up. He watched as the door swung open, revealing a tearing up Spencer. "Spencer." Aaron whispered, tears finally falling from his own eyes. His younger lover threw himself a Aaron, letting him roughly grip him as close as he could to him, knowing that both of them needed the comfort. He whimpered as Aaron ran a hand through his distraught lover's hair and kissed every exposed piece of skin he could. Spencer moaned under his lover's touch as he tried to erase the horrible memories flooding his mind. Aaron watched as his lover graciously swung his hips, forcing himself on to of Aaron. He haphazardly kissed him as his hand ran down his own sides, pulling off the thin long-sleeved shirt he was currently wearing. He threw himself at Aaron, his hands reaching for the waist of his pants…

"Don't." Aaron said through gritted teeth.

"W-what?" Spencer asked, his voice sounding as small and vulnerable as a child. He felt rejected by Aaron after what had happened to Jack, and he just needed to feel something- anything! Being in bed with Aaron after a rough day seemed to be a good way to feel again. That was, until he stopped him.

"I can't do this to you, not now." Aaron said, his voice lightening up from its tense demeanor. "You're vulnerable- I'm vulnerable. It wouldn't mean anything to either of us, Spencer. I don't want it to feel like I'm using you."

"And I'm sick of not feeling." Spencer choked, tears still rolling down his eyes. "Ever since Jack died, I've felt so…so…numb. I need this, Aaron. I need you."

Finally, after fighting their grief for six months, Aaron and Spencer broke down. Both men held each other as they cried hard and loud. They let the feelings that they had been holding back for so long free and didn't think twice about doing so.

And that night, they did something that they hadn't done since Jack died: they slept through the whole night without dreaming nightmares of what had tore them apart just six short months ago.

Epilogue

Spencer Reid and Aaron Hotchner had seen many of the things life had to offer. They had seen small things, gentle things, childish things, needful things, and gracious things. All of these things alone were simple things, but when they combined, they created a lifetime. It reminded them of how fragile life was and that there were good and bad times. For the longest time, both men thought that the bad time would never end. But now, as they held hands, their rings clinking together, with their adopted baby boy in their hands, they smiled. Three years after the death of their first son, they had found happiness again. They had met the boy on a case involving child murders; Tucker was going to be sent into child services, but neither agent could let that happen. They knew that they had to take the boy home with them. And now, as they smiled and looked out into the water, they smiled…

Because both Spencer and Aaron knew that the most precious things in life were also the most gracious things.

Fin.

"….So I'm not a fan of the epilogue, but I knew I had to give you nice people a somewhat happy ending. Thnx for reading everyone; I loved writing this! R&R if you loved reading it!…"