This one goes out to "Kaze and Kiba" and "animemistress419"...thank you :)
After hours of catching up in the midst of shopping (one of items purchased was a new phone) and lunch, Sakura and Tsunade caught a cab ride to the airport midafternoon. Her loving mentor wasn't able to stay for very long and only came out of worry because some jackass tossed her phone into the toilet and made her uncontactable.
They sat at a nearby Starbucks, arriving early enough to be able to spend some more leisurely time together.
"Too bad I couldn't see the apartment," Tsuande said after she paid for both their coffees.
"You should stay for another day," Sakura whined as they went to wait for their beverages to be made.
"And let my hospital fall apart? No thank you, we have a new Chief of Surgery…and I'm just waiting to catch him and Ino in the closet having sex….and don't even get me started on the interns."
Sakura chuckled, "I miss it already."
"We miss you too," the blonde smiled, "you should have heard the offers I got to endorse your new discovery….it would have paid for a new wing in the hospital."
"Would? You didn't take it?"
"I'm staying out of it, it's your thing," the woman said in a motherly tone that brought a soft pink blush across Sakura's cheeks.
"Maybe…when my contract expires we can go back to France," the younger doctor said looking away in slight embarrassment.
"Dear, I am too old. No more country hoping for me…it's nice to run a hospital in peace."
"You're not old," Sakura mumbled taking her coffee from the barista.
"Uh huh," Tsunade replied with a hint of sadness in her voice as she waved her hand off.
.
…
.
After watching Tsunade go through security and being ogled at by men half her age, Sakura called a taxi and got off at the local shopping district. She had the perfect plan to torture Itachi with.
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…
.
Itachi came home at a quarter to nine in the evening, with a large stack of papers in his arm; his briefcase was already packed full of files. He wasn't able to get anything done at work because of a stupid office party and was forced to bring the majority of it home. When he walked in, he was greeted by a big orange ball of fur that was scratching up the one of a kind black and white leather couch in the living room.
"Itachi!" Sakura squeaked happily, rushing from the kitchen platform, picking up the cat on the way to greet him, "isn't he adorable?" She held it out to her roommate.
The cat meowed in anger as its paws lashed out towards Itachi and it wiggled around violently trying to get out of the pink-haired woman's grasp.
The lawyer only stared as he switched into his slippers. Sakura was very creative when it came to revenge.
"I don't think it likes you much," Itachi said as Sakura squeezed the cat closer to her chest in a strangely loving manner.
"Mmmm hmmm, he's also violent, has a temper, and ruins everything," she said as she followed Itachi into the kitchen, "I named him after you, Lucifier."
"The Christian devil?"
"Lucifier, Itachi, Satan, the devil, lawyer, my greatest annoyance…" Sakura continued naming off synonyms until the cat finally freed itself from her grasp and rushed towards the couch – to continue to claw it to death. "I do think I like Satan best though."
"How charming," Itachi replied sarcastically as he placed his paper work on the island and walked around towards the fridge. At least he wasn't allergic to cats.
"Looks like I'll need to get a new couch…there was this really beautiful red leather one with white pillows that is just divine."
"Won't the cat claw it up?" Itachi asked nonchalantly, "or do you plan to get him declawed before then?"
Sakura only smiled in response as the black haired man got out the ingredients for Lo'mein from the fridge and kitchen cabinets.
"Aren't you glad that we can get along civilly?" she asked as she took a seat on the island with her elbows on the table with her chin cradled in her open palms.
"Delighted," Itachi replied sourly as he checked the expiration date on a bottle of sauce.
"I can tell," Sakura said sarcastically before returning to her good mood, "I'm going to go take a shower…Saaaaaatan, want to come with meeee?" She yelled as she walked towards the living room and snagged the cat that protested as much as it could.
Itachi assumed that she was probably taking the cat with her in fear that he would dispose of it. He smirked to himself as he prepared his dinner.
He wasn't going to be bothered by the couch.
There were always casualties in war.
.
…
.
The night progressed uneventfully afterwards. Satan had found himself rather comfortable between Sakura's feet while she reviewed medical reports before bed. Itachi didn't join her until well into the night when both creatures were asleep.
.
…
.
Not surprisingly – no one at the hospital mentioned anything about the Itachi incident to Sakura. They knew better. The sexual life of someone who had just cured skin cancer was off limits….at least for a few months.
.
…
.
Not surprisingly – no one asked about Itachi's bruised jaw and thankfully they didn't see the dozens of cat scratches on his forearms. They knew better than to say anything. Any wound on Itachi must have come from an inhuman source like superman.
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…
.
A week of decent play passed by. Neither of them did anything too extreme to the other, and they had seemed almost friendly…
Almost came to a screeching halt when Sakura got out of the shower bright blue.
She screamed and cursed at the top of her lunges. She looked like a god damn smurf!
Even Satan behaved while Sakura threatened to kill every single living and breathing organism on the planet. She had skipped work and spent the better part of eight hours scrubbing her body, and eventually had to give up after she finally found her creamy white skin in a few important areas. Her boobs, stomach, butt, back and legs were still blue, but at least her face, neck, forearms, hands, and feet looked normal. Thankfully it was late autumn and she wasn't going to be suffocating by wearing layers of clothes.
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…
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When Itachi got home that night, he wasn't very shocked to find a very pissed off Sakura sitting on the clawed up couch that had yet to be replaced. Satan was nowhere to be found.
"Hello," Itachi greeted.
"Hi," she eyed him dangerously as he made his routine trip to the kitchen.
She joined him at the island and glared at him while he made rice with steam vegetables and broiled chicken. The man ate too healthy, it was disgusting.
While he was placing the rice into the rice cooker, a distinct SNIP sound interrupted him. When he turned around, there stood the small Sakura, revered saint, with scissors in one hand and his pony tail in the other. It took a lot of restraint not to punch her in the face….a homicide lawyer turned murder…he could see it on the front page already.
"Oops, the blue skin dye must have messed with my brain," she said placing both items down on the stone table and walked away, swaying her hips from side to side as she entered their bedroom and slammed the door behind her.
Itachi clenched his jaw…everything he wanted to do was irrational.
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…
.
That night was one of their worst, because of both of their nasty moods and when Sakura discovered that she glowed in the dark – all hell looked like it was going to break lose. He tugged the blanket towards him – she kicked him – he kicked her back – she tugged the blanket towards her. It was the only battle in bed between a man and a woman which didn't involve the removal of clothes and moaning. Eventually Itachi had kicked Sakura hard enough that she slid off the bed and fell to the ground.
"You fuck face!" She screamed and Satan meowed loudly in protest as he was unable to settle anywhere on the bed without being attacked by 'friendly fire.'
Itachi ignored her juvenile insult as he settled comfortably under the blanket with his back turned to her.
He heard her moving some boxes around and the next thing he heard was the loudest and fastest music that had ever graced his ears.
He sat up to see Sakura sitting as well and glaring daggers at him.
"What the hell is that!" he had to scream for her to hear him.
"Finnish heavy metal! IT HELPS ME SLEEP!" she yelled over the so called music.
Satan had left the bed and made his way into the living room. Nothing could convince him to remain in their vicinity. They were more devilish than he could ever be.
They spent the entire night glaring at each other; it turned into an unspoken staring contest which was interrupted by her kicking him and him pulling the entire blanket off her. She had attempted to slap him with a pillow which resulted in him pushing her off the bed once more. She may have had martial arts training – but that didn't change the fact that she weighed barely a hundred pounds and without his movements to compliment hers, she was in the loss when it came to brute force.
Neither got any sleep and both were ready to murder someone at work.
Sakura had spent the entire day working on a virus that would cause males reproductive organs to shrivel up and fall off.
Itachi had gotten all his criminals convicted of near sentences – even the one who had a traffic misdemeanor.
They were both pissed off.
.
...
.
When Sakura finished signing out of work, she had noticed something that she had been taking note of for the past few weeks – a man waiting outside the hospital. She had seen him far too often for it to be a coincidence. She recognized his army green cargo jacket – noting a few weeks ago that there was a rip in the shoulder of that man's jacket and wondering why he didn't get it patched up. She bit her lip as she tried to memorize everything about him but he was standing outside, away from the lights of the hospital and the contrast had turned half of his body into a gray shadow.
As she was about to leave one of the female nurses stopped her to ask her a question. While speaking to the woman about a surgery procedure that had taken place a few days ago, she interrupted the nurse's gratitude with a favor.
"Please stand there and pretend you're talking to me," Sakura asked as she reached into her bag for her makeup mirror, opened it and directed it towards her maybe stalker.
"Oh, is everything okay?"
"Fine, I just hate checking my make up alone..."
"Oh."
"Weird, I know," Sakura said as she cocked her head to the side.
He was talking on the phone, and it was becoming painfully obvious that it was about her as he kept glancing over at the female doctor. Now, Sakura was a hardass, that was obvious. But she was a hard ass to friends and people she knew wouldn't pull a gun on her. This was Konoha after all. If the news wasn't reporting half a dozen bodies found – then she knew she had the wrong channel.
Itachi might have been a cruel sadistic bastard…but he wasn't a complete psycho.
She had thanked the woman and followed her back to the nurse's station. Sakura remained there, standing inconspicuously as she dialed a number on her cell.
After five rings, it went to voicemail.
"Hey it's Naruto! In Barcelona for a competition! Remember the time zone differences! Leave a message!"
"Damnit," Sakura whispered as she closed her phone. "Hey," she addressed the nurse again.
"Yes, Doctor Haruno?"
"Is Kabuto still here?"
"No, his shifted ended a while ago. Is everything okay?"
Growling at herself internally and wondering how well she could fend off that 6'4", 200 something pound man stalking her, if he attacked her from behind. She flipped her cell phone again and went down her contact list till she reached J.
J for Jackass.
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…
.
Itachi was finishing up his last court case for the week when his phone rang. He glanced at the caller I.D, and then did a double take, Sakura Bitch Haruno.
"Hello," he greeted carefully. He was running on zero sleep and a whole lot of anger. The Finnish Heavy Metal had given him a raging headache that an overdose of painkillers couldn't stop. If this wasn't a phone call to give him the apartment, he may just kill someone.
"Yes I know, you hate me…I hate you too – we both want to kick each other out…blah blah blah. My skins still blue and glowing in the dark…do you have any fucking idea how embarrassing that was in surgery! And your hairs still short. I know, you're going to do something terrible and unspeakable to me and that's just fine."
She was speaking so franticly that Itachi straightened up in his chair and gave her his undivided attention, "what is it?" he asked, eager for her to get to the point.
"You owe me, that time I did your forensic work for your friend…so, I'd like to call in the favor."
Itachi could have said that the favor was more for the police department than to him, but he kept that to himself, "what is the favor?"
"Can you come pick me up?"
"What?"
"Please, pick me up…that's all. Jeez, I'm not asking of anything serious. And considering all the work I had to do on your part, you walking over to the hospital and walking home with me isn't such a big deal in comparison. Hell for this itsy bitsy thing, I should still have my favor on you and –"
"Shut up, I'll be there in five minutes," Itachi replied as he hung up. He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his index and thumb before sighing. At least he wouldn't owe her a favor anymore.
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…
.
Sakura shifted her weight from side to side as she continued to check her compact mirror – the man was still there. She had seen him when she was buying Satan (the first time she noticed he was familiar because he seemed to be walking too close, and had been waiting by a corner store the entire time she was in the pet store looking for the most ill-behaved animal), when she was going to work on certain days, and she even saw him on most of her lunch break which were usually at a nearby Italian or Japanese restaurant. Now had it been in any other location that would have been fine. But in Konoha was the city that holds more than half the world's population – unless you worked with them, chances of you seeing the same person in multiple locations was slim.
"I'm here," a chilling voice spoke behind her and she jumped in surprise and turned around, obvious relief spread across her face when she saw Itachi.
"Th-thank you," Sakura offered him a polite half-hearted smile, "let's go?"
"Hn," he breathed out as she said goodbye to the nurses and they walked out the front door. She kept her eyes off her maybe-stalker, but she could still see him from her peripheral vision. He was watching them. She moved closer to Itachi.
"Why did you want me to walk you?" Itachi asked in an almost whisper. It was a chilling night and his breath created a fog around his face.
"I don't need a reason, I called in a favor right?"
"You said that it was such a small task that I should still owe you the favor."
"Well you don't, happy?"
"What is going on?" He asked, not enjoying the verbal wild goose chase.
"Nothing, I just didn't want to walk home alone."
"You could have gotten a taxi."
Sakura didn't answer for a few moments and then finally muttered; "I didn't want to walk out the hospital alone."
Something clicked with Itachi as he turned his head sideways, and placed his arm around her small shoulders and nuzzled his face into her head, catching a careful glimpse behind them. He noticed the inconspicuous man standing outside the hospital before, but hadn't identified him as someone who was troubling Sakura.
She looked up at him in slight shock when he placed his arm around her and even more when he had rubbed his face on her head.
"Wha-what the hell do you think you're doing? Are you fucking high?"
"I'm not familiar with this area," Itachi said looking straight ahead, "is there a coffee shop nearby?"
"Yeah, on East third."
"My cell is in my pocket near you, get it and put it in my hand."
"What? Why?"
"I used to be a detective for almost 10 years, if you think I can't identify a stalker then you really are as dense as you look," he answered as she placed his cell phone into the hand that was drooping on her shoulder.
He turned on the camera application and lifted his hand slightly, hitting the button on the side of his phone and it took a series of ten pictures of the man behind them when he passed under a light.
"Okay, we're going to the coffee shop, you're going take off your scarf and coat and give it to me, then you're going to go straight for the bathroom, for three minutes. Understood?"
"Yes, but what about you? You're not going to confront him, are you?"
"No, but I will get him taken care of."
"How?"
"In legal ways," Itachi answered.
Sakura nodded as she walked a bit closer to him, "thanks." At least he was acting like a decent human being.
"Favor paid," he replied simply.
They walked in silence for a few more steps, "laugh, pretend I said something funny and point in the direction of the shop," Itachi told her.
She giggled on cue as they turned the corner and she pointed at the flashing lights on the side of the street.
The French Café
"Okay, bathroom as soon as you go in, got it?"
"Mmm hmm," she nodded as he opened the café door for her.
She walked in and stopped near the front entrance and took off her messenger bag, scarf and purple plaid jacket. He grabbed them and she headed to the bathroom.
He opened his cell phone and dialed Kankuro, a government agent in a very high position who owed him a hell of a lot of favors.
While the phone rang he ordered two cappuccinos, and two chocolate chip muffins.
"Hey, Itachi – didn't think I'd hear from you again…ever…how's law treating you?" Kankuro picked up and spoke in Japanese.
"I need you to get rid of someone," Itachi replied in fluent Japanese.
"Done, who?"
Itachi placed his phone in front of him and clicked the send pictures button as he glanced out the window, the stalker was smoking a few feet away from the café.
"He's in Konoha city, third Avenue and ninth street in front of a French Café."
"Just got the pictures, I'll call up my puppets to take care of him, want charges on him?"
"I want to know why he's stalking a girl named Sakura Haruno and I want to make sure he doesn't find his way back here."
"No problem, any reason in particular?"
"He pissed me off."
"Hah, I remember when that would get men killed back in the day, eh?"
"Just send him to the middle of death valley."
"Hah, alright."
Itachi saw Sakura approach him with a nervous sway in her walk.
"Can you get it done in the next ten minutes?"
"Already ordered three of my men stationed in Konoha to head to the café .
"Thank you, good bye."
"Eh, you know you don't have to call me when you just want people to disappear."
"Same goes to you, I have to go now," Itachi replied as he shut off his phone and grabbed the tray from the teen barista. "Let's go sit by the window," he told to Sakura and she followed him to a four chair table.
He placed her coat and scarf on the chair between them and then settled the tray down on the cheap wooden table.
"So, how long have you know?" Itachi asked motioning to the coffee.
Sakura grabbed a cup, "Erhm…first time I saw-saw him was two weeks ago because of his jacket but…well I noticed him as someone strange when I bought Satan. But I didn't think anything of it till I started seeing him when I went to grab lunch with Shizune, she's a doctor at the hospital too. It was kind of like…coincidental, but then I decided to switch it up from the usual to something else, and I still noticed him…and the next day we went someplace downtown and I still saw him. But I never saw him at night…or well maybe I didn't notice him?" her face turned to slight annoyance.
"He won't be around much longer," Itachi said as he saw from the corner of his eyes Kankuro's legendary puppets walk down the street towards the smoking stalker.
"What did you do?"
"I'm a lawyer…whatever is in my power," he replied smoothly as he picked a piece of chocolate off his muffin.
"You were talking Japanese into the phone, and said ten minutes."
"You speak Japanese?"
"And a few others, and if I ever have to talk to the Pope I can do Latin too."
"Not bad, should have been a spy," Itachi joked half heartedly.
"You're good at changing the subject."
"It's all about rhetoric."
Sakura grabbed the muffin and cradled it in her hands, "I wouldn't have called you…you know, if I didn't think it was weird…I mean, plus I don't really know anyone else in this area except our landlord and he's a creepy, and my friend is out of the country and there's Kabuto…but he's kind of strange. I don't think he was all that happy about the cure thing."
"It's fine."
"No, I don't want you to think it was a damsel in distress moment or anything, I can totally handle myself it's just –"
"It's just this is Konoha and we have crazies who carry guns and rape, torture and murder people at random due to psychological issues. I'm a lawyer, I convict those psychos."
"Wait, you're a criminal lawyer?" Sakura asked in shock.
"What did you think I was?" Itachi asked, already knowing the answer.
"Well…I thought Iruka was the criminal lawyer."
"No, he's a detective."
"I always imagined you to be one of those finance lawyer people, you know corporations suing type deal."
"I don't like corporations, I tend to stay away from them," Itachi told her as he allowed himself a glance around the street.
The stalker was gone.
For good.
"How'd you become rich then?" Sakura asked with her eyes trained on him.
"Same way you did, family inheritance mixed with good publicity and raises…government work…things like that."
"You worked for the government?"
"I did a few cases for them," Itachi replied vaguely. The less she knew the better.
"I worked for a few governments too, although…maybe not all of it was legal," she mused.
"Not all legal?"
"I don't think I should be talking about this with a lawyer," She replied with a sideway smirk.
"Hn, was it with the United States government?"
"No…the U.S didn't like me much until last year, they revoked my passport and citizenship nine years ago."
Sakura picked up the cup and drank its liquids as both remand in relative silence till curiosity finally got the best of the Uchiha.
"Why?" Itachi asked, Shikamaru never said anything about that.
"I develop this nutrition pill…it's kind of like the ultimate everything pill. It has all the essential nutrients for those suffering from malnutrition. Like, most children in Africa's eyesight go poor during their teenage years and others suffer circulatory problems, and well…from my findings it was suppose to help prevent those problems. You know, keep them healthy. Plus when they'd eat poor meat, it would help their body digest because the chemicals were able to stay in their bloodstream for almost 4 weeks. I was so happy over it. It was my first main…solo creation. Because usually on the big things Tsunade would always be beside me, and that one was all on my own."
Itachi nodded as he listened, she really was the golden girl everyone made her out to be.
"But then when I showed the government my findings, they were eager to sell it…can you believe it? They wanted to sell it to third world countries! I mean those countries are piss poor as it is, why the hell would you want to take their money? Like why can't we just do good things because it's a good thing to do? No…so I basically took the pills – I had already mass produced a million of them, had a friend burn the notes and copies of the formula. And left on a private jet to distribute it on my own. I did well for about a year and a half on my own but I was caught in Egypt, and arrested. The U.S government wanted to put me on trial for going against my country and all this crazy international crimes shit. Before they could get the ball rolling – I had nine other governments offering me diplomatic immunity. Russia was the big one but I accepted Germany's offer first because of the whole financial situation back then. The American government couldn't touch me after that, and later on I got in touch with the Russians…and did some very unethical experiments….oh wow, crap, I ranted. Sorry."
"I didn't mind."
"I just…get passionate about things like that."
"Were you in Europe during the third Great War?" Itachi asked curiously.
"Yeah, but I didn't fight in it or stay in one area in particular. When some cities or villages got bombed or pillaged…I just went to the most extreme places to help out. What about you? Did you fight during the third?"
Itachi nodded.
"What did you do?"
Itachi paused, and was careful with his words.
"I was a sniper for the U.S, but my kill list isn't as long as others. I was good enough to be able to leave my targets alive for interrogation." He didn't tell her how much torture the interrogations he was in charge of involved. That would have certainly labeled him a monster by any normal person's standards.
"I see. So," Sakura sipped her coffee some more trying to think of a way to keep the conversation going, "who's the most twisted criminal you've ever convicted?"
"That was during my detective days."
"Who?"
"Madara."
"No last name?"
"No."
"Why him?"
Itachi sighed. He hadn't had a conversation like this in ages and it was draining. "He basically was responsible for two genocides, and was the biggest dealer in the woman and children slave trade." He deicide to disclose some more information, "I went undercover and befriended him. After I got him; I quit being a detective and went into law."
"I don't know why I never heard of him?"
"He got a silent conviction. There are certain criminals, who if we can keep under the media radar we do. If people knew of these monsters, less people would feel safe."
"How often are silent convictions done?"
"I've only been a part of three of them…not so often, but when they're done…they are done for big criminals."
"Do the criminals receive the death penalty?"
"No…not these…they have too many connections to the black market type activities, we need them for information."
"How do you know if they aren't lying?"
"I can't answer that, I don't deal with them," Itachi answered, hoping this conversation would end but even his mouth continued talking, much to his own annoyance, "My old partner does."
"What was your old partner like?"
"Like a shark," Itachi smirked crookedly, he missed his partner lately.
"Why a shark?"
"What's with the twenty questions?" Itachi countered.
"I…oh…I didn't notice. Sorry," Sakura looked almost embarrassed.
Itachi closed his eyes for a few moments before answering, "We called him a shark because of his teeth. We got into this huge brawl one day, and things got nasty…when he was getting surgery done on his mouth he said he wanted his teeth sharp – like a shark."
"That must look interesting…"
"Yeah, but it's saved his life a few times. He bit the flesh off one guys arm when he was placed into a choke lock."
"Wow," She picked a large chunk off her muffin and placed it in her mouth, "have you ever killed anyone as a detective agent man?"
Itachi stared calmly at her while trying to assess how to best answer that question since he did side work for the government while being a detective, but during the time of silence Sakura already answered it for him.
"You have, but only bad guys, right?"
He nodded.
"How many?"
"A lot."
"A lot to me is fifty. Am I close?"
"A lot more than a couple of version of your a lot."
"Oh…wow."
"Hn."
"This muffin is good," Sakura stated as she plucked another bite, "there was this old coffee shop me and my best friend Ino would go for breakfast every day. She works in my old hospital…she's nothing like me, and I have no idea how we are even able to stay friends sometimes but she's still…hmmm, a comfort, you know?"
Itachi nodded.
"Do you have anyone like that?"
"My cousin."
"What is he like?"
"Annoying."
"Did you dye his skin glow-in-the-dark-blue too?"
"No, but I did stab him in the gut with a wakazashi."
"Is he dead?" Sakura asked wide eyed, fully expecting the answer to be a yes.
"No, but I've discovered that verbal black mail works better on him than physical blows."
"Good to know. Hehe, you don't have any black mail on me."
"It's very easy to make something up."
Sakura was about to reply but a yawn cut her off.
"Let's go home, it's getting late," Itachi said as he stood up and grabbed her coat and helped her put it on. When he said, "to be safe, stay close," as they walked out, Sakura thought it was for her own protection from the stalker.
Itachi thought he was being an idiot.
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...
.
Their walk home was pleasant and neither did anything except ask the other questions and they were both relatively honest to one another. When they got back into their apartment, Sakura went into the master bathroom for a shower and Itachi went to his office. After he sat down at his chair he found Satan glaring at him from under his desk.
He placed his forearms on the desk and began to dial Kisame. Then he heard a meow and the next thing he knew, Satan was sitting on his desk.
"Aren't you annoying," Itachi muttered as the cat sat on his paperwork in front of him.
The phone rang, the cat glared, and the water in the shower began running.
"Yo, Tachi-Tachi."
Itachi's eyebrow twitched, "Where is Madara?"
"Locked up nice n tight. We're shipping him off next week."
"Are you going through the outskirts of Konoha?"
"Yeah, it's the fastest way there."
Itachi nodded to himself as his eyes narrowed, "I wish I could just kill him." The conversation with Sakura had reminded him of memories he had been suppressing for the past three years.
"You and me both, but these god damn feds are all convinced they could get information out of him. Fucking dipshits, I wouldn't mind getting into a ring with one of them either."
"You don't care who you start the fights with half the time."
"Only half the time, the other half I can be very caring."
The lawyer smirked as he leaned back in his chair, Satan meowed and did a small circle around the desk before crouching down and lunging himself onto Itachi's chest. The Uchiha carefully caught the little beast and bared through the pain of Satan clawing the crap out of his arms.
"Is that a cat?"
"Yes."
"You hated cats."
"Still do."
"Fuck, what's happened to you?"
"Legal mishaps."
"When are you coming back to field work, honestly, anytime I deal with your kind I want to go kill some people."
"My kind?"
"Lawyers."
"I'm assuming you broke some laws during capture and interrogation?"
"They keep spouting shit about constitutional rights. Do they ever shut the hell up?"
"Only the good ones," Itachi retorted and then heard Kisame's name being called in the background.
"Speak of the devil; one of those incompetent idiots wants to talk to me. Ooooh, he looks pissed off – he's doing the stomping walk. Man he looks like a retarded penguin. Probably going to lecture me how wrong it is to bash suspect's skulls into car windows and all."
"Yes, that's very wrong…I learned that in Law 101," Itachi joked.
"He was resisting arrest…and damn I got to go, penguin man is standing in front of me and doing this weird glare…like he wishes he was Cyclopes or something. Dontcha man?"
"Bye," Itachi said breathing out a chuckle as he hung up the phone.
He looked at the cat who seemed to be enraged over his existence and Itachi carefully picked up the creature and placed him back on the desk. His left forearm was bleeding from the claw marks.
"A little devil aren't you?" Itachi muttered as he got up and pet the cat's head roughly – ignoring its protests and attempts to remove the skin from his flesh. When Itachi walked into the living room to change, he heard the bath water stop running. By the time he finished some laptop work in the kitchen and went to the bedroom, Sakura was sound asleep.
A/N: We got to see another side of Itachi here :), what did you think? How do you like Satan? I think he's a perfect addition to their little family ;)
Thank you for the reviews and favorites. I am extremely grateful!