Behind the Scenes…
Claude sighed as he changed out of his white robes and into his black ones. That dolt Phoebus was still checking himself out in the mirror. Quasimodo was just adding the finishing touches to his stage makeup and the set managers were outside getting the scenery changed. The "bishop" cursed as he realized that the clasp had broken on his crucifix necklace.
"Where am I going to get another one? We go on in another five minutes!"
"Catch!" Quasimodo tossed another necklace across the room.
"Where did you get that?" the bishop asked.
"Sybl has a whole drawer full of them right here," Quasimodo replied, "she knew we'd be going through a lot of them—especially when we practiced the fight scene."
"All right then…where is my hat?" Claude asked.
The dark-haired clerical assistant looked down at his feet guiltily.
"Joseph, where did my hat go?" Claude demanded.
"Uh…we were playing Frisbee with it yesterday," Joseph admitted guiltily, "and we sort of tossed it a little too far…it's probably halfway to Las Vegas by now."
Claude groaned.
"Everybody ready? You have two minutes," Sybl announced.
"Joseph lost my hat," Claude muttered.
Sybl produced another black skull-cap.
"Joseph, if I hear about you playing Frisbee with one more of these, I'm making you pay to replace all of them," she snapped, "I don't care how much further they fly than regular Frisbees."
"Fine," Joseph mumbled.
"Places!" Sybl shouted. Everyone fled the dressing room.
…
(Sybl appears back onstage in a cloud of mist. The tune of "Bells of Notre Dame continues")
Sybl:
Twenty-five long years have passed
Since that day in Notre Dame
The part that everyone's waited patiently for;
Smile, audience of Notre Dame!
Bishop:
Here are the papers already signed
New Archdeacon of Notre Dame!
Well done, you have proven yourself
Worthy of Notre Dame!
Claude:
Thank you, Your Holiness
I promise that I won't let you down…
Bishop:
Would you listen to that?
It's as though they are aware,
The very bells of Notre Dame!
Claude:
My ward, Quasimodo, is of whom you speak
His greatest companions are bells
In return they have shattered his eardrums…
But one more affliction, oh well…
(The stage goes dark behind Claude as he is seen getting into a carriage along with Joseph. Phoebus starts to run out onstage, but Sybl gestures frantically for him to get off. Quasimodo eventually pulls a lever and Phoebus drops through a trap door. The audience rumbles in curiosity.)
Sybl: And little did anyone know that their lives would change forever…
(From the dark, there is the sound of a resounding slap.)
Esmeralda: (obviously annoyed) Watch your hands, bud!
Guard 1: Hey! That wasn't me!
Sybl: (clears throat).
Guard 2: I think that's our cue.
Guard 3: Are you sure?
Esmeralda: (groans)
(The guards clumsily stumble into the spotlight and Esmeralda pretends to struggle. However, one of them isn't paying attention and trips over one of the props. Like dominoes, they all fall down.)
Guard 2: Now look what you did, you idiot!
(Sybl shakes her head and mumbles something about aspirin.)
Claude: What's going on here? Why have we stopped?
(One of the guards climbs to his feet, but his pants fall down. The audience laughs at the red hearts on his shorts. Red-faced, he hoists them back up.)
Guard: (blushing furiously) It's a Worship, Your Gypsy Girl. We caught her dancing in the streets.
(Audience laughs. Claude pretends not to notice as any good actor would.)
Claude: Then arrest her. See that she's taken at once…to…
(Dramatic music swells as he looks into her eyes. Spotlights are focused in on he and Esmeralda and we assume that we are hearing Claude's thoughts. The music closely resembles "What I've been looking for" from High School Musical.)
Claude: (sings)
It's hard to believe
That I couldn't see
That you were always there in front of me…
Thought I was alone
How could I have known
That you would appear right beside me…
This feeling's like no other
I want you to know…
Joseph: (Clears throat)
(Claude snaps out of his reverie.)
Claude: Bring her here.
Esmeralda: Have mercy! Help me, sir! I must dance to eat, to live! I have no money!
Joseph: (scowls) She's a witch!
Esmeralda: No! Help me! Is it really so terrible to dance in the streets?
(Joseph begins to snort with laughter. Claude elbows him in the ribs. The horses feel the shift in pressure and take off with both Claude and Joseph. It results in one of the building façade sets being knocked over. The audience chuckles. Desperate to save the scene, Esmeralda turns to the audience.)
Esmeralda: Well…maybe he's not too bad of a man…he did at least take the time to think it over, did he not?
Guard: I know what he was thinking and it wasn't about that!
(Audience laughs.)
Esmeralda: Will you shut up? You're going to give the next scene away!
(One of the stagehands has finally caught up with the horses and calmed them. The carriage is drawn back onto the stage with Claude and Joseph looking rather disheveled.)
Claude: That's it, I'm driving next time! You forgot to set the parking brake, you idiot! Oh…
(He grins cheesily, realizing that they're back onstage. Clearing his throat, he adjusts his disheveled appearance by correcting the askew angle of his hat and straightening his collar.)
Claude: (now addressing Esmeralda) What is your name?
Esmeralda: (gives a hopeful smile) Esmeralda.
Claude: And you are a gypsy?
Esmeralda: They tell me so…I don't know.
(Claude thinks for a moment. Then, he addresses the guards.)
Claude: Release her.
Joseph: (looks stunned) Your Excellency?
Claude: Let her go. (He pulls the curtain closed, but it comes loose and ruins an otherwise very good exit.) Crap! I'm going to have a word with the propmaster about these budget cuts!
Joseph: (groans)