Title: Medically Necessary, Part 2
Author: Caera1996
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary / Note: Part 2 of a fic that was written as a fill to the following prompt: Kirk's latest allergy to a hypo is random nerve twitches and vertigo. Bones finally gets out of him that being held really tight would make him feel better - and proceeds to provide the cure. This part picks up where Part 1 left off, and was written for the absolutely fantastic individual who placed the winning bid on help_pakistan. Thank you for helping me put another drop in the bucket. Each one counts.

Jim woke up rather quickly, his eyes suddenly blinking open, and then squinting at the lights that had been left on. He was disoriented and had no sense of the ship's time, and more than a little confused because he didn't really remember going to bed – but he was in his quarters, he was comfortable and he was warm…and he was…being held? Frowning, he looked down at the arm wrapped around his midsection, dressed in Medical blue, noting the very male hand that was clutching his own. Suddenly the warmth pressed tightly to his back and all around him was undeniably identifiable as another person. There was only one person that could be. Jim closed his eyes again, the memory of what had happened to get them to this point now very clear.

Damn hyposprays.

Listening to Bones' slow and even breathing, it was apparent that he was deeply asleep. Jim lay there, gradually relaxing back into feel of being held, reveling in the security of Bones' arm around him, his hand around his own, the closeness, the comfort. Things he only recently realized he'd started associating with Bones in any way other than "trusted friend."

Of course, Jim was keeping that little realization to himself. Not because he had never felt that way about a man, and not because he didn't think Bones might return those feelings, either. He was keeping it to himself because he was more than a little freaked out by how much having Bones in his life mattered to him, and he didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. He didn't know how to be anything other than what he was, and what he was wasn't good enough to be anything else to Bones.

So he told himself things like security, closeness and comfort were enough in the form of camaraderie. That there was no ache in the center of his chest that wished for something more. That Bones was just a friend.

But this…being held like this…even though in this moment it didn't mean to Bones what Jim felt, made everything a little harder to ignore. And it was probably because the damn hypospray reaction was messing with him, but the next breath Jim took was a shuddery one that got stuck in his chest while his eyes watered for no reason at all. He closed them, willing the tears to stay where they belonged. He felt torn between wanting so much to stay…for now…forever…and wanting to protect himself from the pain of knowing he could never really have this. Pretending just made the real situation harder. Gathering himself, he started carefully pulling away.

Even asleep, Bones was aware of the body he was holding. He was aware enough that when he felt the shudder his brain kicked out a warning in the form of the perception of exaggerated movement, as if Jim were in the throes of another episode like the one that brought them to this point to begin with. And as he registered further movement, he woke quickly. Opening his eyes, squinting in the light, he pushed himself up, gently using the arm around Jim's waist to roll him to his back.

"Jim? You okay?" he asked, pressing his hand to Jim's forehead as if checking for a fever. Jim kept his eyes closed, though he was obviously awake, based on the tenseness suddenly obvious in his body. He did look a little flushed, but he didn't seem feverish or in any medical distress. At least not like before.

"Jim – I need you to talk to me. How are you feeling?" Bones reached behind himself where the medical tricorder he'd brought with him was laying on the mattress. Jim cleared his throat and willed his voice steady as he heard the activation sequence of the tricorder.

"Yeah, Bones," he said. "I'm fine."

But he wasn't. Bones could see that. And hear it. He and the tricorder agreed that he was fine medically. But otherwise…he was struggling. With something he didn't need to struggle with if he would just…

Bones checked a sigh and gently smoothed the hair back from Jim's forehead. A small smile pulled at his lips as he contemplated the situation he was in. He'd decided a while ago to let Jim make the decision on his own. And he really thought he would. Bones had made it as clear as he could, without outright saying it or just finally kissing him, that he was in to the idea of making their relationship more than it was right now. But he'd wanted Jim to come to that decision in his own time and approach it his own way because he was sure that if he did something to try to move things along, Jim would run. It was just the way he was.

Jim was an incredibly strong, incredibly independent, incredibly vulnerable person. When he'd arrived at the Academy, he was a mess in more ways than one. And a few months after that first meeting, something he said that stuck with Bones one night gave him more insight into the idiot kid than he'd intended.

Bones had been in the process of cleaning him up after a "discussion" in one of the little bars in the area took a bad turn. Again. And though Jim wasn't too drunk, he was drunk enough to be a little more…open than he typically was.

"Why the hell do you keep doing this to yourself, Jim?"

"Cause, Bones. Two things I'm good for – fighting and fucking," he'd slurred. Bones paused in what he was doing to look him in the eye.

"Jim, don't be an idiot."

"'S true Bones." Jim threw him a suggestive smirk. "You've seen one. Wanna try out the other?" Bones just rolled his eyes and went back to what he was doing, stuck somewhere between annoyance and compassion.

He didn't stay stuck for long, though, and here they were.

But the plan to let Jim realize what was right in front of him on his own wasn't working out quite the way he'd hoped. Jim seemed bound and determined to keep Bones as a friend, and not allow their relationship to progress. Bones didn't doubt for a second that Jim didn't want more, though. And the longer Bones knew Jim, the more certain he was of what Jim had become to him. Not just a friend. The feelings Bones knew he had, and all but certain Jim had, had somehow become much more than that. But Jim hadn't acknowledged it. So…onto Plan B.

Trying to ignore the fluttering in his stomach, and hoping to god he hadn't miscalculated, he took a breath, leaned down, and softly placed a kiss on Jim's lips. It was an innocent, chaste kiss – and it had Jim tensing as Bones felt Jim gasp in surprise. He pulled back, looking down into blue eyes that were looking up at him somewhat warily.

"Bones, what are you doing? What was that?" Jim asked. Bones shrugged.

"A guess. Hoping I'm right," he replied. Jim pushed himself up into a sitting position, leaning against the wall at the head of the bed. Bones backed off, giving him some space. Jim licked his lips nervously and glanced up before looking away again. Bones kept quiet for a couple of moments, watching the play of emotions across Jim's face. "Am I?"

For a couple of seconds, Jim seriously considered lying. He thought he'd done a good job of keeping his feelings under wraps, but apparently not. And to be confronted with them like this was more than a little surprising. Looking back up at Bones, the automatic denial that was hovering never made it out. He couldn't lie to Bones…not about this. Not when he couldn't even lie to himself.

"Yes," he said, voice low and tentative. "But I never meant for you to know." Bones looked at him, wanting to reach out and kiss that hesitant and uncertain look right off of him. He didn't, for now. Now, they had to get through this.

"Why not?" he asked, moving to sit next to him, back to the wall. Side by side, their shoulders just barely brushing, he felt Jim shrug.

"You're too important to risk and I don't d-" he cut himself off and Bones turned to try to get a good look at him.

"You don't….what? Feel the same way?" Jim snorted and rolled his eyes.

"You know that's not true, Bones. I just – I don't know how to do this," he admitted. He shifted slightly and glanced away. "I don't…deserve you," he finished quietly. Forcing himself to look back up he took a deep breath. "Fighting and fucking, Bones, remember? I don't deserve you like that…and I don't want to do anything that will screw up the relationship we have. So…let's just…forget this. Okay?"

Bones kept his eyes on Jim's face throughout his little speech, waiting for him to be finished.

"No," he replied.

"No?" Jim repeated, looking up at Bones in confusion.

"Right," Bones confirmed. "No. You're underestimating how much you mean to me. And as far as not knowing how to do this…" he shrugged. "If you didn't notice, my first time around didn't work out all that well. So let's figure this out together." His gaze softened as he looked at Jim, reaching out to gently cup his head, curling his hand around the back of his neck. "And you are worth so much more than you think, Jim. And I know you don't believe that yet…but believe me. And let me show you."

Jim kept his eyes trained at some point on the bed, but now he looked up at Bones, and there was much more in his eyes than he was able to express. Bones understood anyway.

Urging Jim to his side, guiding him down and shifting until they were lying down again, Bones held Jim, pressing another kiss to his lips, and smiling slightly as he felt Jim's arms tighten around him.

It was a start.