"That's why they call us firemen instead of firefighters!" Unit 432 Manchester Fire Department

"Roy, you know this is probably not the best idea, right?" Johnny asked nervously. "I mean, messing with Chet or Marco is one thing, but Cap…? Are you sure?"

Roy looked up from the knife and the small capsule in his hands. "Of course I'm sure. Trust me."

Johnny nodded. "Ok. It's just that, this doesn't seem like a good idea. Not even in the top one hundred best ideas. If we're caught, we're on latrine duty until we retire. If we're lucky. Cap could come up with something particularly sadistic over this."

"We're not gonna get caught. Hand me that piece of aluminum foil."

Johnny watched as Roy had stripped the paper off a smelling salt capsule and placed it on the shiny piece of metal. "Ok." He still looked somewhat uneasy, so Roy set aside his project and looked at Johnny.

"Look, you're the one who said you couldn't handle another shift with Chet on your back. You asked me for help. I'm helping. Give me the toilet paper and alcohol."

Johnny handed him the requested items, and nodded. "Okay. But I don't get it. How is this going to get Chet to leave me alone?"

Roy carefully wrapped the capsule in the toilet paper, then soaked the whole thing with alcohol, and answered Johnny in the tone of a parent answering a child's questions about adult things. "You will go outside and start hanging hoses. Get yourself all wet and your t-shirt dirty, look like you've been hard at it. I'll be out there as soon as I light this. We'll have about 2 minutes before it explodes. You'll look like you've been there the whole time, and really, who's going to suspect me of blowing something up outside Cap's office." The devious grin looked so out of place on Roy's face that Johnny had to smile as well.

"So they'll assume it was Chet…" Johnny said, figuring it out. "That's great, Roy! But, those ampoules are glass. What if it leaves glass shards? Someone could get hurt." His smile faded. Pranks were one thing, but leaving glass laying around was another thing altogether…

Roy shook his head "Nope. The burning alcohol heats the ammonia and the pressure inside the capsule gets so high that the glass completely disintegrates. That's why it goes boom."

Johnny laughed. "Great! Sounds good, partner."

Roy finished making his makeshift explosive device, holding it proudly in the aluminum foil. "Then go."

"You sure you don't want me to take it in there? I mean, if you get caught…?"

"That's okay," said Roy. "You need an alibi. But like I said, who's going to suspect me?"

Johnny hurried off, unbuttoning his uniform shirt as he went. A few minutes later, Roy saw him out there hanging hoses. When he sprayed himself down with one, Roy knew it was time. He carried the piece of aluminum foil with the ammonia bomb to outside Cap's office door. The foil would keep the small flame from leaving a mark on the floor, the glass would be disintegrated, no harm, no foul. It would scare Cap enough to make him mad, and he would automatically believe it was Chet, A.K.A. The Phantom. He would go off on Chet, and Chet would be off Johnny's case for a while.

Sure, it wasn't something Roy would usually do, but The Phantom had been pretty rough on Johnny recently. Really rough. Johnny had run out of clean uniforms last shift, and had to take 2 runs covered in flour while he waited for his other one to dry. That was just mean. Johnny had asked him for help, and he was never going to turn down a plea to help the helpless. He set the package down in front of Cap's door, lit the toilet paper. Then he hurried off to establish his alibi with Johnny.

Water dripped off Johnny's arms and face, and dirt was smeared on his t-shirt. He looked like he had been hanging hoses for an hour. Roy was much cleaner, but he was always more careful than Johnny. He could get away with it.

"How much time do we have?" Johnny asked conversationally, trying to hide his hidden nervousness. He had pulled stunts before, but this was on Cap. This was different. Scary.

Roy did some quick calculations. "About a minute."

Time seemed to slow down. Johnny had a bad feeling about this. Finally, after what felt like forever, a loud BOOM! sounded from inside the station, followed by muffled yelling. A moment later, Mike, Marco, and Chet fled into the yard. A few moments after than, Cap strolled casually outside, and faced his five men. "What happened, Cap?" Roy asked casually. "I though I heard something fall, but Johnny was with me. Everyone ok?"

"Hey!" exclaimed Johnny, realizing what Roy had said.

Cap held up the charred sheet of foil. "Chet, care to explain?"

The mustached man shook his head violently. "I don't know what happened, Cap, I swear. I just heard the bang and ran for my life!"

Johnny smirked. "Some fireman!"

Chet opened his mouth to say something, but caught the look his captain shot him and closed it again. "I swear, Cap, it wasn't me!"

Hank looked at the young man. "Marco and Mike were in the kitchen working on dinner. Johnny has been out here hanging hose with Roy. That leaves you."

Chet looked at Roy. "He doesn't look like he's been working too hard, Cap. Maybe Roy did it and ran outside."

"Roy?" Johnny asked. "You think Roy set off a bomb outside Cap's office door? You think Roy doesn't have more… self-preservation… than that?"

Cap nodded. "He's right. You can't lay this one off on Roy, and I'm surprised you'd even try. You're on latrine duty for the rest of the month. And if the Phantom even peeps into my station again in that time, it'll be the rest of the year. Now, is dinner ready, Mike?"

"Yes, Cap," Mie answered.

"Ok, then let's go eat. And for crying out loud, Johnny, go shower. You look like you've been rolling on the ground with the hoses rather than hanging them!"