"I don't care if you can pronounce it or not! Just eat it!" Unit 631, Clay County EMS

(A/N: Yes. We really are this weird...)

"But Roy, it just doesn't make sense!"

Roy shook his head in exasperation. Johnny was a good paramedic, an excellent person, the best friend a guy could ask for. But sometimes he could be just plain weird. Really… who gets hung up on things like that?

"The guy who discovered them or bred them or whatever they were done with first decided to call them that! Not what I would have picked, but hardly something to obsess about for half an hour."

"But Roy-"

Johnny was cut off by Chet's voice as they entered the fire station, bags of groceries in their arms. "What's he going on about this time?"

Johnny glared at him, but didn't respond until he had put the bags down on the table. Roy just rolled his eyes as his partner fished around in the bag and found the small, furry fruit that had caused all the commotion. He held it aloft for the entire shift to see.

"So it's a kiwi," said Marco. "So what?" He reached to snatch it from Johnny's hand, but Johnny was too quick.

"Ah, ah, ah!" he said, shaking his finger at Marco. "If you don't even know what it is, you certainly can't have it!"

Marco looked at him like he had possibly lost his mind, and made another grab for it, which nearly ended in a wrestling match until Cap stepped in. "Gage, it's a kiwi. Did you loose your marbles somewhere between here and the grocery store?"

While he was distracted, Roy grabbed it. "No, Cap, he knows what he's talking about."

Cap held out his hand, and Roy gave him the kiwi. He examined it carefully, poked at it a few times, peeled it, then took a bite. "Gentlemen, this is a kiwi. Unless someone can explain this, I'm forced to conclude that both my paramedics have lost their minds."

"That, my dear captain," Johnny said, gesturing to the half-eaten fruit in Henry's hand, "is officially known as a 'kiwifruit'. One word. Which makes no sense, as I was just trying to tell Roy."

Mike chuckled. "Johnny's right. I saw the sign at a fruit stand the other day."

"What do you mean it makes no sense?" asked Chet. "It's a kiwi, and a kiwi is a fruit. So, it's a kiwifruit."

"But that's ridiculous!" Johnny argued. "You don't say an 'applefruit' or a 'bananafruit' or an 'orangefruit'. Except maybe that last one would make sense…"

Roy groaned, knowing where this was going. "Yeah, an 'orangefruit' would make sense because it's a description. Like an "orange fruit". Because, really, what kind of a name is 'orange' anyway? I mean, did someone just walk along and say yeah, I want two apples and a kiwifruit… and one of those orange things over there?" He grinned his patented Gage grin, and picked up two oranges out of the bag to start juggling. "These could be 'orangefruits'. And we could call the apples 'redfruits'."

"But what about cranberries?" asked Chet. "Or strawberries?"

Roy rolled his eyes again. Sometimes being the sane on was trying… "Or green apples?"

Before Johnny could answer, Cap grabbed an orange out of the air, startling Johnny into dropping the second one. With his free hand, he picked up an apple. "Listen up. This is an orange. Just an orange. And this is an apple. You got it? We have plenty enough to do without renaming fruit. Everyone with me?"

There were several nods and a chorus of "Yes, sir"s. Finally Johnny spoke up. "But, Cap, what about the kiwi?"

Henry shrugged. "Did you get more than one?" Johnny shook his head. "Then it doesn't matter. I already ate it."