Description: What if Fudge was right about Dumbledore wanting to take over the Ministry? Yet another one of my sugar-induced plot bunnies. Rated M for violence and language. The scene starts in Order of the Phoenix where Dumbledore is about to flee Hogwarts.
"I have no intention of going to Azkaban, quietly or not."
"Enough of this!" Umbridge hissed at Fudge. "Take him!" There were several flashes and Harry dropped to the ground, casting a Shield Charm around himself as spells flew around Dumbledore's office. The spells stopped shooting around and Harry looked up. Umbridge, Fudge, Dawlish, and Kingsley were lying unconscious on the floor. Dumbledore was standing behind his desk, his eyes twinkling. "If they wanted to arrest me, they should have brought more firepower with them. Dawlish is nothing in a fight, and I know Kingsley wouldn't hit me deliberately."
Harry grinned. "I knew they couldn't take you down, sir. But what do we do now? Modify their memories?"
"Not much we can do, Harry. We can modify their memories, but that will only buy us some time. Madame Umbridge obviously sent Cornelius here a letter that brought him here."
"So summon the letter, sir." Dumbledore looked confused for a moment. It was a scary look. "They wouldn't have had time to make the letter Unsummonable, if that's even possible." Recognition dawned on his face, and Dumbledore waved his wand. A moment later, a letter written on light pink paper whizzed through the window. Dumbledore looked at it, before stowing it in his desk.
"Well, that's taken care of. I'll modify their memories, before we send them on their way. You can go now, Harry. I trust you won't tell anyone else about this."
Harry left, happy that they had succeeded in keeping the Ministry from removing Dumbledore. He stepped into the Gryffindor Common Room and spotted Hermione and Ron sitting in a corner, talking quietly. Ron spotted him and waved him over, pushing out a seat for him. Harry plunked down in the seat.
"So what happened, Harry?"
"Dumbledore knocked them out, wiped their memories."
Ron snorted, but Hermione was aghast. "Why?"
"Because they were going to try to arrest him on charges of treason."
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The trio walked down the darkened hall later that night on Prefect duty. The only notable thing about this event was that while Hermione and Ron were actually supposed to be there, Harry was under his Invisibility Cloak. After Ron and Hermione had caught Malfoy holding a terrified first-year at wandpoint, they had asked Harry to come along with them in case they needed backup. Harry had gratefully accepted – otherwise he would just be sitting in the Gryffindor tower, bored silly. He now accompanied them, carrying a rucksack full of gear, prototype pranks from the Weasley twins. He had everything from shield-enchanted items of clothing to miniature recorders, which were a bit like Muggle camcorders except they were about the size of a marble and recorded everything within sight, as opposed to the narrow view that camcorders usually got.
They passed the staff lounge, and Harry heard his name mentioned and stopped short, leaving Hermione and Ron to continue down the hall. Harry stepped closer to the slightly opened door and listened. What he heard shook his entire world to its core. His hands shaking, he activated one of the recorders and held it close to the door, praying that it would work. When he had heard all he could bear, he deactivated it with a tap from his wand and stole away, fighting back tears.
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"Alright Harry, what's wrong?" Hermione said, an angry edge in her voice. After catching up with them, Harry had dragged them to the Room of Requirement without a word. Instead of replying, the Boy-Who-Lived pulled the recorder from his pocket and activated it. McGonagall's voice emanated from the tiny device.
"So he modified their memories, put them under the Imperius, and sent them on their merry way!" There was tinny laughter in the background. "And the boy was none the wiser. Albus could have murdered Dawlish in cold blood and that idiot boy Harry would have believed he did it for a good reason!"
Flitwick's voice came in. "If you ask me, he should have. The man's hardly a speed bump in a fight, but it'd be useful to have him out of the way before we move on the Ministry."
Another voice came in. "Well, either way, having the children clear the way for us will help."
Hermione gasped. "That's Professor Vector!" Ron shushed her gently.
Snape's smooth voice came on. "Yes. They have so many Ravenclaws in that group and none of them has figured it out. They do not realize that the only reason they had not been found yet was that Albus kept Imperiusing Umbridge and her informants to look in other places. If that blasted Edgecombe girl had not ratted them out, they never would have been found. She'll be dealt with."
McGonagall answered. "Oh really? How are you planning to make her a non-issue, Severus?"
"Well, it seems that tomorrow we will be mixing an antidote to a Shrinking Solution, which causes things to inflate rather rapidly. Ms. Edgecombe's potion will mysteriously explode, and her airways will swell from the potion. She will die before anyone can help her."
"How tragic," McGonagall said, and laughter echoed around the room.
"So when do we move on the Ministry?" Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy teacher, asked.
"As soon as the children are ready," Snape replied. "If I had my druthers they'd have been whipped into shape months ago, but we must keep them thinking that they're acting independently by doing this."
The recording ended, and Harry sat back, unable to speak. Hermione's face was ashen, and Ron looked about ready to throw up.
"I thought we were doing the right thing…that we were fighting to keep ourselves safe," She murmured, her eyes watering. "Instead, we were preparing ourselves and other students for a takeover of the Ministry by Dumbledore…"
"So what do we do?"
"You do nothing." A voice said. The trio spun, finding Remus standing at the door. "There's nothing you can do. Except run."
"Gryffindors don't run," Ron said.
"Well, then perform a tactical retreat. Just get the hell out of here. Go to ground in the Muggle world. Leave the country. You can't beat Albus and the staff."
"But we can come back! We can come back with the full fury of the Ministry and the Auror Corps behind us!"
"They'll make it disappear, don't you see?" Remus said, his eyes pleading. "Who are the people going to believe? The Leader of the Light? Or one deranged boy and a useless government?"
"But we can do this together! You and us!" Remus shook his head.
"No." He reached into his pocket and Harry tensed, until he pulled out a long quill. "This is a Portkey to my house. Go there; take my car and the money that is there. Get out of here while you still can!"
"But we can win this, Remus! We can do this if you're with us! You, Sirius, us and the Ministry! We can beat them!"
He shook his head sorrowfully and held out the Portkey. "To activate it, press the cap three times."
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Harry was jolted awake as the car went over a bump. "Sorry, Harry." Hermione pulled over to the side of the road and rubbed her eyes. "I'm getting too damn tired to drive this thing safely."
"So let's switch. You can take a kip and I'll drive."
"No, we're low on gas anyway. I'll fill up, and then we'll switch. Where's a service station?" Harry consulted the map they had purchased, and spotted a service station close ahead of them.
"Two miles ahead, at the next town. Let's go."
The station was dimly lit, with a thin, pale clerk behind the counter. The man had bags under his eyes and a twitch in his hand.
"Is that everything? Sir?" Harry turned, and spotted a rack of action movies. He saw The Rock, Eraser, and Broken Arrow, and felt something harden within him. "Sir? Sir? Is there anything I can do for you?" Harry turned back, his jaw set.
"No. This is something I have to do myself," Harry said, his voice cold. He walked to the sunglasses rack and picked out three pairs, along with a few other items, and slapped them and several more pounds down on the counter.
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Argus Filch had spent most of his adult life at Hogwarts, cleaning up after those damned kids. He hated Muggles, but as a Squib, stood no chance of making any other sort of life in the Wizarding world. He went down to the gates and unlocked them, breathing in the fresh air. "Another day in the world." He turned and spotted three dark figures standing just inside the gates, all wearing black jeans, leather jackets, and dark sunglasses. "Who…" One of them stepped forward, and he recognized him, spinning and drawing breath to yell for help just as Harry swung and knocked him to the ground.
They tied him up quickly. "What are you going to do, Potter?" He spat. "Just walk in, and arrest the whole castle?"
Harry turned and removed his sunglasses, and Filch felt a shiver go down his spine. The normally warm green eyes had gone ice cold. The man spoke in a harsh voice. "Not exactly."
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George Weasley stepped back and wiped his forehead. The newest and (in some people's opinions) most dangerous batch of product was done. He turned, and found Fred and three figures dressed all in black standing behind him. "Merlin, Fred, who are they?" He recognized the group. "What's wrong with you?" Harry slammed the recorder down on the counter and hit play.
When it was done, George sat down and pulled a bottle of firewhiskey from under the workbench. "So that's why you're back? To take them down?" Ron nodded, and George took a pull directly from the bottle. "How can I help?" His little brother grinned, and George felt a shiver go down his spine. Not of fear, but of anticipation. The better-looking Weasley twin appreciated seeing good pranks in action. Or, as the case may be, a good ass-kicking.
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The trio stepped into the staff lounge, where the entire Hogwarts staff was eating, and all conversation ceased immediately. Not because they were expected, but more because Harry had blown the doors clean off their hinges, sending them crashing to the floor. The trio walked in, carrying backpacks.
Harry spoke, his voice clear and cold. "Morning."
The three dove for cover as the teachers drew their wands and began firing spells.
"I'm beginning to think this was a bad idea!" Ron shouted over the explosions.
"We can't take them all at once!" Hermione yelled.
Harry fired a blasting curse over the table he was using for cover and thought for a moment before yelling back. "Right! Head for the second floor, we'll draw them out before taking them down! Count of three, we make a break for it!"
"One!"
"Two!" Harry tossed a ball of Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder, and they ran for the door, dodging curses. They slammed the door shut behind them and sealed it with a colloportus.
"Three!" They ran for the second floor, where they stopped to catch their breath.
There was an earth-shaking explosion. "I think they're out," Ron said, rather unnecessarily.
"Right. We go with the plan." They all pointed their wands at each other and incanted a spell, sending off several copies of them running down the halls in groups – illusions designed to buy them time. "Any idea where they'll be?" Harry pulled the Marauder's Map from his pocket and checked it.
"Where they always are. In their classrooms."
"Who's first?" Ron asked, bent double.
"Who's closest?" Harry glanced at the map.
"McGonagall." Ron stood up straight.
"Let's go, then." They donned various items of clothing, all enchanted with Shield Charms.
Ron blew in the door of McGonagall's classroom and tossed in a small, rounded object that was given to them by the Weasley twins. There was an eye-searing flash and a massive bang, and they rushed into the room, to find McGonagall weaving unsteadily, rubbing her eyes.
Harry leveled his wand at her. "Stupefy!"
Nothing happened. "Shit. Anti-magic wards." As he spoke, he noticed several desks were missing, just as an angry Chimera stepped out from McGonagall's office. "Fuck. Um…new plan." He ducked a flying pounce from the creature.
"What is it?"
"Get around the bloody angry Chimera and take out McGonagall!" He ran forward, jumping and bouncing off a desk before soaring clear over the Chimera. McGonagall's vision cleared just in time to see Harry's boot collide with her face. Harry's momentum kept him moving forward, although he was off-balance now, and went tumbling into McGonagall's office. He saw the Chimera miss Ron by a hair and spin around, spot him lying in a heap, and run for him. Out of reflex, Harry's arm whipped up and he incanted a Blasting Curse. To his utter shock, the spell worked, and the room was misted with the vaporized heads of a Chimera.
"Harry, there's only one other wizard in history who has killed a chimera. And he fell off his winged horse right afterwards."
"Great. Another bloody thing I'll be famous for. Ron, if anyone asks, you saved me from that thing. Who's up next?"
"Flitwick and Snape are both down in the dungeons. Snape's classroom."
"Great. Both dueling experts at once. Where are the others?"
"Dumbledore is in his office, probably shitting his pants. Vector, Babbling, and Sinistra are in the Great Hall, probably telling the students that we've gone insane. Pomfrey and Pince are in their respective offices, and Sprout is out in the greenhouses."
"Great. Poison Ivy is out with her plants. Wonderful."
"Oh. And Binns is in his classroom. I don't think he even knows what is going on."
They ran for the dungeons, stopping outside Snape's classroom. Harry pulled another Weasley gadget out, this one a simple small mirror on a bendable stalk. He poked it around the corner.
"Are they in there?"
A Blasting Curse shot around the door and snatched the mirror out of his hands. "I'd say so."
They stood and strode into the room. Harry adopted a dueling pose opposite Snape, while Ron and Hermione did the same against Flitwick.
"Ready, Professor." Snape sneered and spun, unleashing a barrage of curses at him. Harry stood and waited patiently as the curses flew towards him, before skidding off his shields. He spun and fired his own salvo, splitting Snape's wand lengthwise and destroying it. A barrage of Banished desks forced the man back, before Harry spun and saw Ron flying through the air, blood flying from his mouth. Harry sent a cutting curse and sliced Flitwick's hand off at the wrist, before searing it with a flame spell.
"Arrogant Bastard!" Harry heard, and ducked a cutting curse from Snape. He fired a single spell, sending a ball of water six feet across flying at Snape at over forty miles an hour.
"Greaseball," He sneered.
"STOP!" A male voice roared, and Harry spun to find Hagrid striding forward, his face flushed. "Harry, yeh may not be a man of our ways, but surely you're a man of peace!"
"I may not be a man of your ways, Hagrid, but I know right, and I know wrong, and I have the good grace to know which is which."
Hagrid stared at him a moment. "Ahhh, sod off, kid." He whipped up his crossbow and fired a single bolt into Harry's chest, sending him flying back into Snape's potions cabinet.
Hermione fired a barrage of spells, none of which impacted Hagrid. Then, they were not meant to. A large section of ceiling came down and knocked the half-giant cold.
"I think that bastard knocked out a molar." Ron spat a mouthful of blood off to the side. "I'm fine. Harry? You alright?" Harry sat up, pulled himself out of the barrel of eel's testicles, and pulled the bolt out of his jacket. The layers of leather had absorbed the bolt's energy and saved his life. As Harry Scourgify-edhimself and walked over, muttering something about "never being clean again".
"I'm just dandy. Just decided to take a dip in a barrel of eel's bollocks. Let's get out of here."
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Harry, Ron, and Hermione sent well-aimed "Reducto"s into the Great Hall's doors, sending them crashing to the ground. They strode into the Great Hall.
Sinistra, Babbling, and Vector stood there, wands ready.
"Freeze!" They spun, seeing Dumbledore standing at the entrance to the Great Hall. "Don't make a move, Harry. Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley." At the same time, Hermione, Ron, and Harry each drew a second wand and leveled them at Dumbledore.
"Alright people, now's your time to make a bloody choice," Harry said, his voice raised. "Those of you in the DA know that we were training to keep ourselves protected against Voldemort. Well, it turns out Dumbledore was manipulating us on some level. We were actually training to be cannon fodder for Dumbledore's and the Hogwarts staff's assault on the Ministry. Turns out that old bat Umbridge was right. You don't believe me?" Harry pulled the recorder from his pocket and activated it. "Take a listen to this."
The recording played. At the end, Dumbledore's face was ashen. "Are you really going to believe this boy?"
The entire crowd tensed, and Harry was stunned when Malfoy stood. "Maybe he's not as insane as people think, sir. Maybe you are. Maybe it's time to give it up, sir. We know you're good, but can you take on a thousand or so students at once?"
His eyes darted around a moment. "You bloody idiots!" Dumbledore fired a spell into the air and ran, leaving a shimmering field behind him in the doorway. Several stunners bounced off the shield and ricocheted into the walls. That end closed, the trio turned back to the three professors, who suddenly found themselves with hundreds of wands on them.
After a moment's struggle, the teachers were subdued and bound (Hermione sniffled a bit as Vector, her favorite teacher, had to be knocked unconscious as she was tied up.
That taken care of, Ron turned to Harry. "What'cha thinking?"
Harry donned his sunglasses once again. "Greenhouse?"
"Fuck yeah."
As one, every student who could get a clear shot at the door leveled his or her wand or wands and incanted "Reducto!" Almost a thousand spells flew towards the entrance, but not towards Dumbledore's shield. Instead, they blasted away the doorframe and the wall next to the door, opening a massive hole. Harry ran forward and thrust his arm through to make sure, and then turned back. "Good work everybody! Alright. Everyone who's not a fifth-year or above, clear out. Head back to your dorms, barricade the entrance, and wait for a Ministry official to show up. Listen to your DA-trained housemates. They'll know what to do if trouble shows up." With some grumbles and groans, they filed out, leaving a bit more than four hundred students behind. "Non-DA Ravenclaws!" A good hundred students stood. "Head down to the dungeons and collect professors Flitwick and Snape. Non-DA Hufflepuffs!" Another hundred stood. "Go get Professor McGonagall from her classroom, and watch out for the Chimera corpse that's in there. Be careful – there's anti-magic wards over the classroom, but not the office. Slytherins!" A larger group stood this time as the others filed out. "I need half of you to take posts around the castle and the roof and watch for trouble. The other half, stay here with the other students and keep watch on the professors. If anything happens, shoot off red sparks." They filed out, leaving most of the DA behind. "DA members? You're with us."
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The DA skidded to a halt outside Greenhouse 6, which housed the most dangerous plants in the school.
"Lemme take a look." Neville ran inside.
"Don't go in on your own!" Susan Bones said.
"Don't worry, he knows what he's doing," Ron said confidently. Neville came flying back through the wall of the greenhouse.
He got up and brushed the glass off his robes. "Okay, new plan. You guys deal with Sprout; I'll take care of the plants."
"Plants?" The Weasley twins asked. The Devil's Snare's vines came out from the greenhouse and wrapped around Neville's wrists, yanking him inside the building. "Oooh," They said in unison.
Harry poked his head around the door and yanked back sharply as a spine, its tip dripping with venom, came shooting past his head. "Shield Charms, everyone." After everyone applied Shield Charms, they rushed into the Greenhouse, firing stunners and flame spells at anything that moved and was not human. Harry spotted Sprout ducking around the corner of a workbench and moving towards a shelf of pots. His eyes widened as he saw one of the pots tremble. "She's going for the Mandrakes! Watch out!" He fired a Reducto towards the shelf and brought it down on top of Sprout, thankfully not shattering any of the pots. With Sprout dealt with, the students subdued the plants, mostly by well-applied usage of the Incendio spell. A few plants survived the carnage as Neville beat them into submission rather than kill them. As Harry eyed the Devil's Snare from his first year, which had been tied into various knots by Neville, Hermione and Ron toasted the last plant, a Venomous Tentacular that had been hell-bent on eating Lavender Brown.
"So what now?" Ron asked, wiping burned mulch off his jacket.
"No idea. Where's the bloody map…" Harry fished the map from his pocket and searched for Albus Dumbledore. Nothing. "Damn. He's gone. Where would he go?"
A spark lit up in Hermione's eyes. "I know where he is."
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The DA pushed their way into the Hog's Head, scaring out the few customers. The bartender glared balefully at Harry, until he found himself on the business end of about forty wands. Harry took off his sunglasses and stared at the man. "Where's your brother, Aberforth?" The man gulped and shook his head, and Harry's wand twitched, sending the man's facial hair dropping to the floor. "The next one takes off your nose. Then we move to the eyes. Then the hands, feet, and then I'll get a hammer and go after the major joints." Aberforth pointed upstairs. "Good boy." Harry flicked his wand again, and Aberforth dropped to the ground, snoring.
"Alright. It is a bit cramped upstairs, so we can't all go. Neville, FredandGeorge, Ron, Hermione, you are with me. Everyone else, keep an eye on the outside of the building. If any of you know how to start an anti-Apparation ward, now would be the time to speak up. A few Ancient Runes students raised their hands, and Harry sent them on their way, before donning his sunglasses once more. "Let's finish this."