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Chapter 4

Roxie slowly walked into her room followed by her grandmother; she sat down on her bed and began to cry. Ella put her arm around her, pulled her close to her and let the young girl mourn the life that she could have had.

"Roxie, I am so sorry that things turned out this way. I know this isn't the life that you wanted, but it is now the life that has been chosen for you. This is one of those life defining moments. Don't let the moment define you, you define the moment," Ella said. Roxie rested her head against her grandmother and continued to cry.

Just then the door flew open and Eva and her mother came rushing in, "Oh Roxie, my father just finished telling us what happened. This is absolutely the craziest thing I have ever heard. I can't believe the nerve of that Templar to attack Reese without cause. You had every right to defend yourselves." Eva throw her arms around Roxie and said, "Oooh, Roxie, I can't imagine court without you." Roxie hugged her back.

"We are all here for you," Eva said.

"Thanks," Roxie whispered.

Roxie's mother just stood there looking at her daughter with pity in her eyes she then said, "Could I please be alone with my daughter?"

Both Ella and Eva nodded and left the room. "Mother, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to bring shame to you."

Ellie took Roxie's hand in hers and said, "Shame? My dear, you haven't brought shame to me. You did what needed to be done. You defended yourself and the man you love. You thought he was dead; your actions are understandable, but not justifiable. You took justice into your own hands and now there is a price to pay for that. I am sorry that you and Reece have to go through, but I am happy that AJ has found a loop hole for you to escape the justice that the Chantry would demand. At least you will be alive and I will be able to see you. Amaranthine is not that far from West Hills. It is easily a day and half ride. The Wardens are an honorable group. They…"

"Mom," Roxie interrupted, "I would be honored to be a Warden if it were under different circumstances. But the man that I love is being sent away and told not to come back for decades. Decades! So tonight maybe the last night that I will ever see him again," her voice cracked and the tears started to flow again.

Ellie pulled her daughter tight to her chest and said, "Your alive, Roxie. Reece is alive. Be thankful that the two of you are able to make plans for your future even if your futures aren't together. Right now I could be planning your funeral or Reece's parents could be planning his, but we aren't. Where there is life, my dear, there is hope. No one knows what the future brings."

Roxie rested her head on her mother's shoulder. She was right. Reece was alive and he would be here tonight in her arms one last time and she didn't know what the future would hold, but she knew Reece would be a part of it somehow.

That night Reece joined her in her room. They made love to each other one last time; they held each other and talked to the wee hours of the morning. Just as the sun began to rise he slipped out of bed, brushed his lips against Roxie's and quietly slipped out of the room so not to disturb her.

Roxie woke up to find Reece gone. She reached over and ran her hand across the pillow that just a few short hours ago had Reece's head lying there. The indent of his head was still there along with a note. She opened it and read:

My dearest Roxie,

As I write this you are sleeping so peacefully. You are so beautiful and as I stare at your gorgeous face I am trying to etch every line and every detail into my memory. You have been a part of life for as long as I can remember and I can't imagine not having you near me anymore.

It's hard to believe that a little more than a day ago you made me the happiest man in Ferelden when you said you would marry me. I can't believe how our world has changed in such a short period of time, but I want you to know, Rox, that just because our world has changed my heart hasn't and it never will. I will love you with every breath I take until I take my last breath. You're in my heart and soul always.

Love you always and forever,

Reece

Roxie pulled the knees up to her chest, buried her head in her arms and cried. There was a knock at the door and her personal servant, Lena, walked in carrying her breakfast tray. She was closely followed by Eva. Eva took one look in her cousin's eyes and ran over to her, sat beside her in the bed and wrapped her arms around her. "I am so sorry, Rox, I wish there was something I could do to make this better."

"I know, but there isn't anything anyone can do. I acted rash and foolish and I destroyed my life in seconds and now I have to pay the consequences for my impulsive behavior."

"Well, look at the brightside you won't need any more ballroom dance lessons." Eva said trying to lift the mood.

Roxie couldn't help, but snicker at Eva's comment. That was so like her cousin to try and find the silver lining in everything. The two girls shared tea and biscuits together and then Eva headed out for her languages lessons. At the door Eva turned to her cousin said, "I will be at the hearing this afternoon for moral support."

Roxie smiled at her and said, "Thanks, Cuz.

"One for all, remember," Eva said.

Roxie smiled at the saying that she and all of her cousins use to say to each other. She nodded and said, "And all for one."

Since she was leaving right after Connor conscripted her she packed her things so that they were ready for her to leave immediately. She was just about to pack Bella's diary when she remembered something her grandmother had said, "Child you don't know what you ask, you don't know the consequences." At the time she had paid very little to that statement. She just wanted to her grandmother to heal Reece. Now that she had time to think about the comment she wanted to know what her grandmother was talking about.

She went to her door and asked the guard if someone could ask her grandmother to come to her room. The guard nodded and she went back into her room. A few minutes later her grandmother walked into her room. She joined Roxie who was sitting at the table in front of her fireplace. She took Roxie's hand and said, "What is it child?"

"Grandma, yesterday I was so concerned with saving Reece that I didn't remember until this morning that when I asked you to heal Reece you said that I don't know what I am asking and that I don't know the consequences. What did you mean by that?"

Ella thought about her reply for a moment before she answered, "You said that you had heard rumors and reports that said that I had the ability to heal. What reports did you read?"

Roxie looked slightly embarrassed but replied, "A few years ago Eva and I were playing in her father's study. There were some very old looking files in crates in his office so we started to look through them. They were reports from the Grey Wardens. Several of the reports mention that you and Uncle Eli had the ability to heal just by touching someone."

"And that is all they said? The reports didn't give any details?" Ella asked.

"No details about how you healed just a few examples of when either you or Uncle Eli had healed someone."

Ella nodded and then asked, "How far along are you in Bella's diary?"

"Not far, she had just survived Ostagard and was headed to Lothering," Roxie replied.

"Aaah, then you don't know very much yet. Let me ask you this, do you know why it takes a Grey Warden to kill an Archdemon to end a Blight?" Roxie shook her head. Ella let out a long sigh and said, "You are about to become a Grey Warden they won't be happy with me for sharing their secrets before you undergo the Joining, but since you have no choice in joining the Wardens I will tell you some of their most well kept secrets. Just promise that you will act surprised when they tell you everything I am about to tell you."

"I promise, Grandma, I will," Roxie said nervously now not so sure she really wanted to know, but also knowing that there was no way she could not know.

Ella took a deep breath and began to Roxie everything she knew from years of listening to the minds of her mother and father and other Wardens. She told her about how she will become a Grey Warden when she drinks the blood and how that will taint her own blood, she told her that will allow her to be able to sense when darkspawn are near and other Wardens. She told her why it must be a Grey Warden that kills the Archdemon and she told her about the dark ritual that saved both Alistair and Bella's life and produced a child that is now her brother. Lastly, she told her about the different powers that both her and Eli have. She paused and let Roxie absorb all the information that she was just given.

Roxie stood up and paced the floor. "So let me get this straight, I am going to die young, not be able to have kids and I might have to absorb the soul of an archdemon in order to stop a Blight. These aren't great selling points for joining the Wardens. I can see why they left those finer details out of their recruiting brochures," Roxie said sarcastically.

"Roxie, since they discovered the Life Extending ritual Wardens are living forty to fifty years longer and with Eli's blood more and more Grey Wardens have been able to have children. Not all Wardens, but many more than before so you may be able to have a child one day. Also, the chances of there being another Blight so soon after the last are very slim. You are joining an order that highly respected and revered."

Roxie continued to pace as she asked her next questions, "So how does that explain the consequences for you healing Reece?"

Ella lowered her and said, "Do you have Bella's memoir?" Roxie nodded and walked over to her things to retrieve it and handed it to her grandmother. Ella paged through the journal until she came to the page that she wanted and then laid the book open. She stood up and said, "I believe my mother explains it best. After you read it I want you to keep in mind that until yesterday I haven't healed another person since I healed Eli many years ago." She kissed her granddaughter's forehead and said, "I love you, Roxie and I want you to know that I would have healed Reece even if you hadn't begged me to do it so please don't blame yourself once you know the truth."

As Ella left the room Roxie pulled the journal towards her and began to read.

March 30

This morning I woke up to the sounds of someone screaming and crying in the courtyard. I leapt out of bed and walked out onto my balcony. A woman that I recognized as the wife of one of the traveling merchants was on her knees crying out her husband's name. Her husband was on the ground convulsing in what looked a seizure. I called for Nora and asked her to follow me down to the courtyard with Ella while I grabbed Eli. As we neared the crowd they parted so that I could get close to the couple.

Anders was already there casting healing spell after healing spell, but to no avail; I looked at Eli and asked "Can you heal this man?" Eli shook his head no. So I asked, "Can Ella?" Eli shook his head no. Just then the merchant's wife who had been screaming and crying collapsed on top of him and she too began to convulse. Anders ran out of mana just as Kya ran up and she began casting healing spells.

I looked at Eli and begged him to save these people. He looked at me and asked, "Then who would you have replace them?"

I was shocked by his question and asked "What are you talking about?"

"They are the consequence for saving you and me in the deep roads."

His reply made my blood run cold and the only thing I could say was, "Consequence?"

Eli looked at me sadly and nodded and then said, "Let's talk later. Gather everyone in your office and I will explain." All I could do was nodded. I pulled Anders aside and told him to gather everyone in my study once this situation was under control. He looked at me astonished, but once he saw the alarm and panic on my face he nodded in agreement.

About an hour later, Anders, Nate, Oghren, Sigrun, Kya, Cullen, Will and Zev piled into my study.

"The reason that I asked all you here is because all of you seen Eli and Ella heal others by touch. There is a reason that Eli or Ella couldn't heal the merchant and his wife. I asked Eli why he couldn't save them and he responded by asking me that if he saved who would take their place." There were audible gasps in the room, but I pushed forward, "I think it would be best if Eli explain it."

Without touching anyone Eli spoke into everyone's mind, "In order to keep the balance of life, if one life is saved another must be sacrificed. My life and Bella's life were saved in the deep roads so two lives needed to be sacrificed in order to keep the order and balance of life. I must weigh each life and decide if the outcome is worth the consequence."

"So you decided that my life was greater than the merchant wife's?"

Eli said, "Your life or your death will affect many people, Bella. If Ferelden is going to become the great nation that it is intended to be you must live and rule beside Alistair. So yes in the larger picture your life has greater importance, but that does not diminish the lives of the merchant and his wife and those that mourn their deaths. This is why I cannot heal everyone and I have taught Ella not to heal unless she consults me first."

Everyone that was in the room was in shock by Eli's omission and for a while everyone remained silent. It was Anders who spoke first, "And what gives you the right to decide whose life is more valuable then another's?"

Eli had a sad look in his eyes as he said, "No one's life is more valuable then another's, but some lives have a greater impact on the world then other's. I healed Bella both times because the impact that she will have on this nation will affect the lives of thousands. Alistair and Bella will bring prosperity and peace to this nation. She must live. I needed Ella to heal me because my work is not finished here. When it is my time to go I will freely leave this world, but that time is not for many years."

"Does anyone else find it creepy when he does that fortune telling thing?" Sigrun asked.

I looked at both Eli and Ella with tears in my eyes. "This is a heavy burden for someone so young to carry."

"Mom, I am not as young as I look and through my guidance Ella is much older and wiser than she looks."

"The last time that you healed Bella was when Denerim was under attack, I do not recall anyone dying." Zev said.

"Someone did die than, it was just someone you didn't know. This is the first time that someone has died that was in close proximity to the person that was healed."

I looked at both of my children and said, "The next time, you let me die. I will not allow another person to die in my place." I looked around at my friends gathered in the room and said, "From now no one you will ask these two to heal anymore. And Eli and Ella I forbid you to heal anyone without talking to me first. Is that understood?"

Both Eli and Ella had nodded in agreement, but something in Eli's eyes told me that if he had to choose between healing me, or letting me die, he would heal me and that infuriated me. Too many people had died because of me; I didn't need the anymore senseless deaths resting on my shoulders.

Roxie closed the book in shock. Someone had died so that Reece could live. Her request to her grandmother had been one of selfishness, but her grandmother had granted her the request knowing the consequences. Why did she save him? What was his purpose here that he must fulfill? Roxie prayed to the Maker for forgiveness, and begged him not to take the life of someone she knew. She didn't think she could stand to witness the result of her own selfishness.