Chapter 9

Roxie raced to her room. The tray of food that Wyatt had brought up was lying on her bed. She glanced over to see that Frankie still hadn't woken up from the Joining. She grabbed a biscuit, her backpack and headed out for the gardens. She needed time to think…to process that Reece was being hunted because of her stupid actions. Reece, the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with was now on the run, living a life under a false identity, always in fear that he might be found out or that the Templars might find him, and the possibility that he might never be able to return home to his family…all because she reacted instead of pausing to think.

She made her way out to the garden and found a shady spot underneath a tree. She pulled out her canteen, took a sip of water and ate her biscuit. She thought about Reece all alone with no familiar faces around him and her heart broke for him. Why didn't she leave with him? Instead of being a Grey Warden she could be with him and at least he wouldn't be alone. The thought of never seeing him again ripped at her heart and caused her eyes to sting as she pushed back the tears.

She was so confused. She loved Reece she wanted to be with him to help him through this at the same time she felt at home with the Wardens…at peace with her new life. And then there was Wyatt; she didn't want to have feelings for him, hadn't planned on having feelings for him, but she was drawn to him, she couldn't stay away from him and she couldn't explain why.

She rifled through her bag and pulled out Bella's diary. She leafed through the pages and stopped on the page that contained the sketch of Bella in the arms of Nathaniel. She studied Nate's face and his expression – the way that he was looked at Bella – with such devotion and love; she had seen that same look in Wyatt's eyes when he looked at her and a slight smile crossed her lips.

She turned to the place that she had left off the last time that she had read. They had announced Fergus and Leliana as Ella's parents and then Bella had left with Nate and group of Wardens to investigate a few darkspawn attack. The Warden's had tracked down the strange darkspawn attacks south of Lothering, but they had not found any evidence to the cause behind the attacks. Boy that sounded familiar, Roxie thought as she continued to read.

As I lay here staring up at the stars and into the flames of the fire the realization for my actions are finally setting in and I realize what a fucking mess I have made of my life and Alistair's. That night at the Keep he begged me to have faith in us, to trust my heart and not my head, but I didn't listen. As always, I assumed I knew what was best for us, for him, for Ferelden and hell or high water we were going to do it my way. Exactly what did that get me…I lost the only man I will ever love, I have a daughter that is being raised by my brother, and I have forced Alistair into a marriage that he didn't want to a woman he doesn't love. And somehow through all of that Alistair still loves me and he is concerned about how I am going to react to the news of his wife being pregnant.

The letter that Fergus had sent to Lothering had contained a sealed letter from Alistair.

My Love,

I hope that this letter reaches you before you hear this news from another source. Anna is with child and the birth of the new Theirin heir should take place in the spring. It pains me to give you this news because this is the life that I had desperately wanted with you. I wanted to see the glow on your face as your stomach grew as our child developed within you, I wanted to see your belly move with each flutter of our child, and I so wanted to experience all of this with you as my wife.

But maybe you were right…maybe with the taint we would have never been able to experience these things together. So I view this as a means to an end…we will one day be back together. I don't know how – but I believe that now more than ever. I have faith…enough for the two of us. So for now we must go our separate ways to fulfill our duties; But Ella, you are the strongest person I know and I have to draw on that strength to move forward with the life that I now live, but I take comfort knowing that one day you will be mine once again.

As you once said, 'Beloved of my soul, I desire you forever'.

Alistair

His words had deeply moved me and his faith in the two of us has stirred my soul. It reminded me of our duties and of the strength that I must now dig deep to find, but that I know is there. Alistair reminded me that I must live the life that I been given to its fullest if I am ever going to find peace and happiness. Thank you, Alistair for reminding me who I am.

Roxie read the entry several times. She admired both of their strength and courage to move forward with their lives and their duties despite their heartaches. That is what she needed to do; she had been placed here in this situation for a reason. She had her duty to the Wardens to fulfill. Thanks, Bella for reminding me who I am.

xxXxx

Wyatt sat in his chair dumbfounded. He must not have heard Eli right. "Your brother? Your brother, King Duncan, is dead! He died during the Qunari invasion," Wyatt exclaimed.

Eli shook his head, "Duncan was my half brother in this physical form. My brother, Razikale, is an old gold, a son of the Maker, just as I once was. He is the god of Mystery. I was the god of Beauty before the darkspawn found me and corrupted me. When Morrigan performed the dark ritual and then Bella killed my corrupted form, the essences of my soul entered the physical form that you see here."

"Connor has explained all of that to me. But why do you think the darkspawn are seeking him out? Isn't it a little early for another Blight? I thought it takes centuries before they are able to corrupt another old god," Wyatt inquired.

Eli took a deep breath and then said, "Did you read any of Bella's reports regarding the Architect's ritual by using my blood?" Wyatt nodded so Eli continued, "Bella in her anger at the Architect's betrayal killed him in hast. I think Avernus did an admirable job in translating the Architect's research and managed to stop the majority of the darkspawn from seeking out the old gods. However, even the Architect admitted that there were flaws and that was made clear when the darkspawn rebelled against him in the first place. I believe that once again that there is a war taking place amongst the darkspawn – two fractions – one fraction is seeking the old gods out and one fraction is trying to stop them from finding the old gods. That is why the current darkspawn attacks don't make sense. It's an internal war and humans are only attacked when they accidently enter into the battlefield."

"Well, that's great. Let's just let them kill each other off," Wyatt replied dryly.

"We can't do that, Wyatt. We have to stop the fraction that is seeking out Razikale before they find him. The problem is compounded because Avernus didn't completely understand the Architect's research when he created the potion and performed the ritual. Now even though the seeker fraction is smaller in numbers they are just as intelligent as the chaser fraction that is trying to stop them. They are no longer mindless creatures and it won't take them long to find Razikale." Connor said.

Again Wyatt was astounded. He rubbed his hand through his hair, "By the Maker, so we could have another Blight, but this time we will be fighting intelligent monsters. That's just lovely." Wyatt paused as this new reality crashed down on him. "Is that what Roxie's dream was about? Her dream was real?" Wyatt asked.

"Yes, her dream is real. Just like when there is a Blight and Wardens dream about the Archdemon. It will only be a matter of time before the rest of the Wardens begin to have similar dreams" Eli replied.

"You said that she is even more ready than her great grandmother was. Why does Roxie need to be ready? She is a junior Warden. It should be senior Wardens that lead this investigation," Wyatt questioned.

"It's in her blood to lead not to follow. She is a direct descendant of Gabriella Cousland and Alistair Theirin. The only two Wardens to stop a Blight in our life time. She is reading Bella's diary and she is learning a great deal from her. Bella, like Roxie, was a fierce fighter, an exceptional leader, and brilliant diplomat, but she lead with her emotions and at times that caused her problems – like killing the Architect without fully understanding all of his research. Roxie is learning from Bella's mistakes just as much as she is learning from her successes. She is going to pivotal in the upcoming war," Eli said.

"So you expect us to go to war," Wyatt inquired.

"Yes, and if we can stop it in time it will be a war that never reaches the surface," Connor replied.

"I think it's an awful lot to expect from a young girl who just became a Warden. I understand who her ancestors were, but that doesn't mean that she is the next Hero of Ferelden," Wyatt said. He didn't want to accept this. He cared too much for Roxie to let her be burdened with this type of responsibility.

"I don't expect her to be the next Hero of Ferelden. If everything goes as planned no one outside of the Grey Wardens will ever know of her contribution because this war will have never reached the surface for them to know about it. And no Wyatt, I don't plan on burdening her with this responsibility. So what is discussed here should not be conveyed to her." Eli said.

Wyatt stared at him a long time before he replied heatedly, "Reading my mind!"

"I don't like to invade others personal thoughts, but I need to know where your head is at regarding this, Wyatt. I know that you love her…"

"You know that I love her!" Wyatt interrupted. "I don't even know if I love her."

Eli just smiled and continued without addressing his outburst, "You cannot allow your feelings towards her to stop her from fulfilling her destiny. When she is ready she will rise up to the challenge that will be placed before her and she will finish what Bella started."

Wyatt didn't like the sound of that. He couldn't put his finger on why that last statement sounded so ominous, but it made him uneasy and he didn't know how to address that so instead he asked, "You mentioned a plan?"

"Yes, the Messenger which was one of the Architect's disciples has been spotted recently near the Southron Hills. He once aided Bella, we are hoping that he will aid us too," Connor said.

"Won't he be a little upset with us considering that Bella killed his master," Wyatt said.

"He might be, but according to all reports his nature has still been to give aid to others when needed. A merchant traveling Gwaren through the Brecilian Passage was attacked by werewolves. The Messenger quickly came to the aid of the merchant, dispensed of the werewolves and then offered medical treatment to him. I believe that if we can convince him that this is what is best he will aid us," Connor replied.

"Okay, when do you want us to leave?" Wyatt asked.

"The day after tomorrow; Frankie is still recovering so she will stay behind, but I want you to take Roxie, Remy, Mirima, Bryland, and Skylyn," Connor answered.

"Well, at least this time we have a mage with us," Wyatt retorted as he stood up and headed out the door.

Once the door was closed Connor leaned back in chair and asked, "Is he going to be okay?"

Eli let out a long sigh, "He is her Alistair. Even though he doesn't realize it yet, he is deeply in love with her so much so he would lay down his life for her and in the end he just may be her saving grace."

Connor rubbed his hands together, "Well, that's not good. What happens if he does save her?"

Eli sighed again, "Then the cycle continues."

"Is there any way to prevent that from happening?" Connor asked.

"That part of the future is still covered in fog. There are too many factors that haven't fallen into place yet," Eli said. "We will have to wait and see. Right now, the future is in their hands and in the decisions that they will make in the coming months."