This, my dear children, is boredom. Disgusting boredom, and shotty note book work. Enjoy if you have a small brain capacity.

Death Note: Children's Tales Gone Wrong

Kira's Green Eggs and Ham

~~Light POV~~

"Oh Ryuzaki~!" I sang, racing to the detective with messy black hair.

He looked up from the newspaper "Oh, hey there Sam." He said blandly went back to reading the latest news on dead criminals.

"Um, Ryuzaki? My name is Light?" I stared at him in a peculiar fashion.

"That's nice Sam," he took a sip of his coffee.

"Um, yeah, sure… Sam…I am… Nevermind…" there was an awkward pause "Sooo…" I pushed the plate I was hiding behind my back towards L.

He just stared at it for a minute, doing nothing what-so-ever, then spoke up "What is That?" he prodded at what was on the plate with a fork.

"It's breakfast," I informed him.

"Oh…" he took a sip of coffee "Enjoy that Sam,"

"No! It's not for me!" I assured him, patting his shoulder "It's for you!" I nudged the place closer to him.

"Why would you make me breakfast?"

"Well…" I said circling him "It's sort of for punching you in the face 4 months ago!" I said laughing insanely at my lie. This breakfast had a completely different purpose. He continued staring at me blankly.

"No thanks Sam,"

"W-What?" I cried, startled at his response "But, why not?

"Well," his eyes burned into mine "Yesterday you made Matsuda breakfast and he is throwin up right now. Not to mention Light, I've seen your cooking grade. It was horrible, and your father warned me NEVER, I repeat, NEVER to accept food from you. With all of these facts put together, there is a 100% chance I will never eat your home cooked meals."

"But nothing is wrong with these Eggs here!" I screamed in protest.

"The eggs are green, Sam."

I snorted "Wh-What!"… "AHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH AHA HAHAHAHAHA! THAT'S RIDICULOUS! THEY'RE NOT…" I stared at their radioactive green glow "UM…. GREEN! IT'S JUST THE LIGHTING! AHAHAHAHAHA! SILLY RYUZAKI!" I punched his shoulder "TRIX ARE FOR KIDS!" I hoped he didn't realize I poisoned his eggs…

I pestered him for the next hour until this happened.

"OKAY! OKAY!" L snapped "I GIVE UP! If I eat your go-forsaken green eggs and ham, will you LEAVE ME BE?"

I smiled widely "Of course!" I handed him the fork he had shoved in my hand earlier "Here you go."

He shuddered and reached down to take a bite of the eggs "M." He grunted swallowing "Yummy. Delicious. Leave." He wiped at him mouth with a napkin.

"Nope." I said smiling.

"Why not?" he demanded.

"Because, I'm Kira."

His eyes widened, and then they went to suspicion "Oh Really?"

I paused "Um… really. I am. And in 10 seconds you will be dead."

"Why?" he said blandly.

"Because, I poisoned your food!" I began laughing insanely and looked over to see L smiling at me. Why was he smiling? He stood up and dropped his napkin into my hand. Inside of his napkin was the bite of green eggs I thought he took.

"Stay here Sam, I'm going to go tell Light I caught Kira!" He smiled at me and walked down stairs "I am JUSTICE! Haha!" He laughed lightly.

So bored. This chapter sucked cow nipples because I got lazy. Any ideas for a second chapter?