Chapter 7: Plans

It hadn't been Remus's best week. Annabeth had been suspicious about the letter Remus denied sending to Tonks, and she was supposed to go to London on Saturday, where Remus knew she would interrogate Tonks. Sara was doing her best to reassure him, but he was still worried, despite knowing Greyback was growing suspicious of his odd behavior. It didn't help that Annabeth gave him a self-satisfied smirk every time she saw him. The more he saw it, the more tempted he was to just pack up and leave. If it had been anyone but Dumbledore who had sent him, he probably would have. Then again, he would be at the constant mercy of Tonks's badgering if he left. Why not marry her? Why not trust the potion? Why not give up the bloody martyr complex and let himself be happy?

No, despite his fears, he was better off here. She was better off without him. That's why he was so afraid for Tonks. It was the full moon. What if Annabeth paid Tonks a visit when she would transform? She was in so much danger and, as usual, it was his fault. He shouldn't have gone. Had he stayed, nothing would be wrong. Annabeth wouldn't be suspicious and she would believe the photograph was nothing more than a memory, part of an old life, not the woman he still loved despite himself.

But now it was Sunday morning and the werewolves were starting to fall asleep after a long night of transformation. All except Remus, that is. Even though he was exhausted, fear kept him awake. Now that he was back to his own mind, he was able to worry about Tonks again. For once, he wished the wolf could've kept him prisoner for longer. He didn't want to think or feel because it was worse than the beast that took over his mind. His wolf mind didn't remember Tonks, didn't have feelings for her, didn't worry about her safety, didn't have to see her bleeding and lifeless whenever its eyes were closed, didn't hear her screams. His wolf mind didn't feel this kind of pain. Of losing her over and over again. Every night before he fell asleep. In his nightmares. Yes, it would be easier to stay a wolf, to lose himself in those instincts. But then he remembered Greyback, who had done that very thing. It was Greyback's fault he was here in the first place. Greyback who had caused his life and the lives of so many others to be so filled with misery, especially Sara's. No, he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let go at the expense of others. Before he had come here, the mere thought of remaining wolfish wouldn't even have crossed his mind. He was starting to change, and not for the better. Maybe even Dumbledore's orders weren't enough to keep him here. He had to leave. But first, he had to find out what Annabeth had done in London. He had to know. Then, he could leave, go abroad, leave everything behind. Fake his own death. Maybe then Tonks would move on, find someone else. Yes. That was the best way. Once Annabeth gave her report, once he found out what she had done, then he could leave. He had to.

The pop that signaled Apparition woke him. Annabeth. He opened his eyes and sat up. Many werewolves remained asleep, but a few sat up groggily. Greyback was the only person who appeared alert. Remus looked around and located Annabeth, who was standing beside a man who was vaguely familiar to Remus, but he couldn't place where he knew him from.

Annabeth left him with Greyback and strolled toward Remus, looking quite pleased with herself. "I had a nice little chat with Tonks last night."

Remus stiffened. Surely she just meant a conversation; Tonks couldn't be a werewolf; she couldn't be dead. But what if Annabeth had gotten her to talk? "I'm sure that was enlightening," he said wryly.

"Not as enlightening as I had hoped," Annabeth admitted, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "But I do have a secret weapon. She held out a small potion bottle containing a muddy liquid and a similar container containing two short, mousy brown hairs. "I have a hunch that there's a certain Dawlish who might be a little more…talkative." She smiled, then turned away, letting her threat sink in as she walked back to Greyback and the new recruit. Remus decided to find Sara. Then, he knew, he had to leave. He couldn't stay here and leave Tonks in danger. He had to tell her—maybe have Molly do it—and then, he could go. He didn't know where. Anywhere would be fine, really. Anywhere but here and anywhere but with Tonks. Perhaps the Shrieking Shack? No, Tonks was stationed in Hogsmeade. But perhaps Snape could make his potion? No. He had to go somewhere far away from others. But first, he had to talk to Sara.

He found her at the far edge of the camp, still asleep. Making sure no one was watching, he crouched down. "Sara," he whispered, "wake up."

"What?" she mumbled sleepily.

"I need to talk to you," he explained, standing up again and disappearing into the forest to wait in the clearing. Sara arrived a few minutes later.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I'm leaving," he stated.

"Don't be a prat, Remus. Why would you leave?" Sara folded her arms and frowned at him.

"I have to warn Tonks about Annabeth."

"That again?" she rolled her eyes. "You had me worried there. But you're just leaving for a few hours."

"No, I'm leaving forever," he said. "I wanted to tell you goodbye. I can't come back. It'll just make things worse."

"I'm really sorry about this, Remus," she said, drawing a wand before he could react. She bound him with ropes. "Accio parchment, accio quill." The summoned items flew into her hands. She smoothed the parchment out on the stump. She began to write and spoke the words aloud so Remus would know the contents of the letter. "Dear Tonks, it's Sara, Remus's werewolf friend. He's being a prat again, not that that's a surprise. He wanted to abandon the mission, give you some warning and then ditch you again. But at the moment, I have him tied up, so don't worry." She stopped writing. "Okay, Remus, what's the problem this time?"

Remus stared at her. "This isn't fair, you know."

"I know," she said cheerfully. "Now, answer my questions."

"Annabeth has polyjuice potion and Tonks's hair. And she has some sort of plan to find out about me through Dawlish."

"Got it," she said, putting quill to parchment again. "Annabeth had yet another evil plot, Remus suspects. He saw her with polyjuice potion and your hair. And apparently she made some vague threats about this Dawlish fellow. Just a heads up. Your friend, Sara." She put the quill down, folded the parchment and whistled. When an owl swooped down, she tied the letter to its leg and sent it off. "There. Now that that's taken care of, do you promise to stay?"

"Why's it so important?" Remus grumbled.

"Two reasons. If you disappear, my Dad'll be suspicious and my head will be on the chopping block. Second, you're the closest thing to a real father I've ever had. I can talk to you and confide in you. I haven't been able to do that since Mum died. You're my family. If you ever decided to leave, please take me with you. I want to meet Tonks and the Weasleys. I don't want to stay here forever. You know I hate it here even more than you do." There were tears in her eyes but she blinked them away. "Don't leave me here alone with him again." She took his hand in both of hers. "I've already lost Mum. Don't let me lose you, too." She relased him from the ropes and he put an arm around her shoulder to give her a quick hug, then he took his arm back and put his hands in his lap.

"I won't leave yet. I'll wait until I have a way to bring you, too. I'd be willing to bet quite a lot that Molly Weasley would love to feed you a decent meal."

"And then what?" Sara asked. "Where would we go?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Remus said, running his fingers through his graying hair. "Molly would probably take you in, but it would be hard to work out arrangements for the full moon. I'm sure Tonks would love you; she'd probably say we should adopt you, but that would mean marrying her and subjecting her to the prejudice people have toward our kind. Not to mention the extra danger she'd be in with two werewolves running around every month. I suppose the only option for us would be to leave the country and live as Muggles. We can't register ourselves as werewolves without being tracked and I'm pretty sure you don't even exist as far as the official registries go."

"I don't," Sara agreed. "I've never even been into the real world. Not even to get a wand. This one was Mum's." She thought for a moment, then her face brightened. "Maybe we could go to America. I've heard some of the others talking about it. It sounds like the perfect place to disappear. Maybe I could go to a Muggle school and live a normal life and you really could be my father." Her eyes were wide with excitement and her words had sped up near the end. She looked at Remus expectantly.

He looked at the smiling girl beside him. Her short life had been filled with more misery than his own. All she wanted was a real family, a chance at a normal life. And she wasted Remus to be her father. If he was honest with himself, he already loved her like a daughter and wished he could take her away to give her a better life. But if he was reasonable, he also knew that it was unlikely to ever happen. He knew that Greyback had cursed them both, robbed them of a normal life, and kept them from what they wanted the most. In a way, the bond he had formed inadvertently by "creating" them both had already made them a family, in a way. He was responsible for both of their miseries and the reason both transformed monthly. He had also created two enemies. They weren't exactly powerful, but they were close to him and that, Remus realized, might just be enough. Sabotage had a power of its own. "I'll try," he said at last.

Sara's expression grew slightly more somber, but she was still smiling with more happiness than he'd ever seen from her. "It's better than nothing."

"Yes," Remus agreed, gazing at the overcast sky. "Yes, it is." Sara said something else, but Remus didn't hear. His find was far away, with a screech owl on a mission to London.