Chapter 11: A Christmas Surprise
Once again, Remus found himself in the hall outside Tonks's flat. He looked around nervously as he knocked on the door, worried that Annabeth could appear at any moment. Perhaps leaving the safety of the Burrow hadn't been such a good idea after all, but he couldn't let Tonks spend Christmas alone.
After several tense minutes, Tonks appeared at the door, rings around her eyes, face ghostly white, and hair limp and brown. "Remus? What are you doing here?" she asked in surprise. "Come in."
He followed her inside. "Molly told me you were planning to spend Christmas alone."
"Molly? When did you talk to her?" Tonks went into the kitchen and pulled a kettle from a cupboard. She dropped it and Remus stepped up behind her.
"Let me do that," he said, taking it from her. He filled it at the sink. "I was going to spend Christmas at the Burrow. Molly said she invited you. Why didn't you come?"
Tonks looked down. "I, uh, didn't feel like eating a big dinner while you were eating rats." She sat down and rested her head on her arms.
"Tonks, you know I want you to eat no matter where I am. What were you planning to have for dinner?" He set the kettle on the stove.
Tonks shrugged. "I dunno. I didn't really think about it."
Remus sighed, then began going through her cupboards. There was remarkably little food there. A few boxes of cereal were all he found, and the only thing in the freezer was an expired box of frozen waffles. "Perhaps we should eat out," he suggested.
"It's Christmas, Remus. What would be open today?" Then her eyes brightened. "Except…How do you feel about Chinese?"
"Chinese?" he asked in surprise.
"There's a Chinese place just down the block from this building. They were open earlier today. Let's go."
"I don't think that's such a good idea."
"Why not?" she asked.
"Annabeth's here in London."
Tonks's face fell. "I suppose I could always call for takeout…Or—wait! I have an idea." She left the room as Remus poured the now-boiling water from the kettle into two tea cups.
A few moments later, Tonks returned with a scarf, hat, and trench coat. "Here." She thrust them into his hands. "I enlarged them to fit you. Put them on. I couldn't find my balaclava so just wrap the scarf around your face. And hurry. I have one Christmas tradition I really like to keep and I don't want to keep you up all night watching the movie."
"What?"
"Oh, just something Dad used to do when I was a kid. Mum didn't really approve of television, so I didn't watch much, but there was a movie he was fond of that we'd watch ever Christmas. He said he used to watch it with his parents too. We also used to read A Christmas Carol, but that was the week leading up to Christmas. Oh, and Mum would make gingerbread men…I should've gotten her recipe. Not that I'd be able to make it the way she did—sorry, I'm rambling." She took a sip of the tea Remus had set in front of her. "Mmm. It's perfect. Just the way I like it. How did you know?"
Remus's face flushed slightly. "There are some things that I remember…about you in particular." Tonks smiled as she sipped her tea and watched him bundle up. She had already put on her coat and hat.
"When's the next full moon?" she asked him conversationally as she stood up.
"In a week. On New Year's day, to be precise." He gave a wry smile. "What a way to start of 1997!"
Tonks frowned sympathetically as they headed for the door. "I'm sorry. Oh, I wish you didn't have to go back! Maybe I'll just lock you up and keep you here with me."
He smiled sadly, opening the door for her. "We've had this discussion before. I have to go back. I don't want to."
"Don't you want to stay with me?"
"This isn't about what I want. I can never have what I want. This is about what I should do. I should go back and I shouldn't stay with you."
"Then why did you come in the first place?" She pushed the "down" button for the lift.
"No one should spend Christmas alone," he insisted.
Tonks smiled sadly at him. "Well I'm glad to see it was all about your sense of nobility and not your feelings for me."
"Hey, I didn't say that!" he protested.
"I didn't say you did. It just seems so…I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if you even love me anymore."
"I do. I wouldn't have come if I didn't."
"Well, that's some good news at least." She slipped her gloved fingers into his and stepped onto the lift. "Oh," she whispered, "mistletoe."
"What?" Remus asked. In answer, she kissed him. Every ounce of sense, of nobility, in him told him to push her away, to end the temptation because every second the kiss dragged on was another second that had him questioning his reasons for leaving her, another second that he was leading her on after he had told her nothing could ever happen between them. He had broken up with her. He shouldn't even be here. But his heart won out and he returned the kiss.
The lift stopped again on the seventh floor and a woman and young girl who was certainly her daughter stepped on. "You should have the decency to keep this to yourselves and not in public, and on Christmas no less!" she said angrily. "There are children here."
Remus pulled away, embarrassed. "Sorry, ma'am. There was some mistletoe and she just couldn't resist."
The woman looked up. "I don't see any mistletoe." She looked down at her daughter. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Livvy."
The little girl shrugged. "It's all right. They're in love!"
Tonks had pulled Remus's scarf off his face, revealing the lines there and the woman noticed. "He's far too old for you, dear," the woman said to Tonks.
"That's what I keep trying to tell her," Remus explained, "but she just won't listen to me."
"So?" said the little girl—Livvvy. "What's wrong with that? If she loves him, it doesn't matter. My teacher says that love is blind."
"You tell them," Tonks said happily. "Maybe you can convince him."
"If he doesn't love you," the woman commented haughtily, "Then just give up and find someone your own age, you harpy."
Remus tightened his grip on Tonks's hand. "She is not a harpy. And I do love her. That's why I want her to find someone else." By now the lift had reached the ground floor and the argument had moved to the lobby of the building.
"You have a funny way of showing it. Come on, Olivia, let's go."
The little girl turned to her mother. "Grown ups are weird," she observed.
Tonks laughed. "See, she agreed with me."
"She can't have been older than six. And why did you lie to me, Nymphadora?"
"Don't call me Nymphadora! How many times do I have to remind you of that, Remmy?"
"Okay, okay, I suppose we need a compromise. I won't call you Nymphadora if you promise not to call me Remmy."
"It's a deal," she agreed as they stepped out into the snow.
"You still didn't answer my question."
"Well, I won't be able to kiss you at New Year's so I figured I should seize the opportunity as it presented itself."
He rolled his eyes. "I shouldn't have come. I just keep leading you on. I'll make sure you eat, then I'll leave."
"I won't eat at all then, so you can stay."
"Stop being so stubborn. You know I can't stay. Dumbledore needs me to spy on Greyback."
"You are such a hypocrite sometimes! Here you are, being all noble, trying to protect me from yourself and when I try to protect you, you won't let me."
"It's different," he protested. "I need to do this. It's important. Dumbledore wants me to do this."
"Don't you think that Dumbledore would want you to marry me. He's always going on about how important love is. Don't you think he'd be disappointed in you for ignoring it?"
"I think he'd understand my reasons. I've told you again and again that the reason I won't marry you is because I love you too much to put you in that kind of danger." He opened the door to the restaurant.
"And I've told you a million times that I don't care. When I'm with you, nothing else matters."
"It matters to me," Remus said quietly.
The old man behind the counter had watched their argument with amusement and once they stopped, he said, "If you don't mind listening to my advice, I have a suggestion for you, sir."
"Oh? What's that?" Remus asked as he and Tonks stepped up to the counter to place their order.
"Just give in. If the woman isn't happy, nobody's happy."
Tonks grinned. "Well, Remus, I believe that is two to nothing in my favor."
"That little girl doesn't count, and if you recall, her mother was on my side. The score is even."
The man shook his head. "You'll learn eventually, but it will certainly be the hard way from what I've seen. What would you like to order?"
"Hmm…" Tonks scratched her chin. "How about some fried rice, chow mein, Mandarin beef, and…I dunno. What do you want, Remus?"
He shrugged. "Whatever you want, Tonks."
"I told you that you last time you came over that you could call me Dora."
"But then I'd feel like your boyfriend," he protested.
"Just do what she says," the man said again. "It's easier than arguing."
"Anyway," Tonks said, "I think I'll have the sweet and sour pork as well. That should be all."
"For here or to go?"
Tonks and Remus exchanged a glance. "To go," she said.
"I'll get on it right away." The man left.
Tonks sat down in a booth and Remus sat across from her. "This is why I need a telephone. We could've just had it delivered."
"It's all right. This is a big city. Odds are she's on the other side of it," Remus said encouragingly. "Where does Dawlish live, anyway?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "I never really cared to know, to tell the truth."
"I don't blame you," he said with a smile.
"Maybe Annabeth won't find him. I hope she doesn't."
"She has three days. She'll probably find him eventually."
"Like you said, though, it's a big city. She might not."
"She's quite resourceful, though, from what I've gathered." They sat in a rather subdued silence for a few moments, and Remus did everything he could to keep himself from thinking about what Annabeth could be doing at the moment.
"Your food is ready," the man said after a few moments, placing a large paper bag on the counter. "Would you like fortune cookies?"
"Yes, please," Tonks said as she and Remus stood and headed to pick up their food.
The man looked at something out of their sight, then, smiling faintly, dropped two fortune cookies into the bag. "Chopsticks?"
Remus glanced at Tonks. "No, thank you. I think we'll stick with forks. They give her enough trouble as it is." Tonks elbowed him in the ribs as he picked up the bag. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas," the man replied.
Tonks took Remus's free hand and they left the restaurant. "It smells great," she said. "I haven't had anything this good in…a…long…time," she finished slowly and stiffly as she saw Remus's concerned look.
"Will you at least promise me you'll eat more. I don't care if I have to spend ever last Knut in my Gringotts account, I'll see to it that you eat."
"Don't waste your money on me," she replied quietly. "You have little enough as it is."
"Nothing I spend on you is wasted," Remus said firmly. "And maybe you'll eat if I pay for it. I've heard stories of Muggle girls who've died from just deciding not to eat anymore, and I've seen werewolves die from not having anything to eat. I don't want you to die and you have every opportunity to eat, so please, do this for me, if nothing else."
Tonks looked down; her mouth opened but no words came out. They had reached her building. "Thank goodness they heat this place," she said as they stepped into the warm building from the snow outside.
Remus merely smiled. They made their way to the lifts and the one they caught was, to Remus's relief, full of people. They got out on the twelfth floor and headed for Tonks's flat. She dug through her coat pocket for the key. Inside, Remus got out two plates, two forks, and serving spoons for each container of food.
"This is wonderful," Tonks said after swallowing a mouthful of chow mein. "The best Christmas dinner I've ever had."
"I think that's a bit of an exaggeration, Tonks."
"No, it isn't. You're here with me, safe, and I didn't have to help cook the meal."
"Did your Mum make you help her with Christmas dinner?" he asked interestedly.
"All the time." She grimaced. "She told me I'd never find a husband if I couldn't cook."
Remus laughed. "And what did you say to that?"
"I told her either that I didn't want a husband or that I'd find one who'd cook for me, depending on my mood. And it looks like I've made out pretty well. If I could get you to marry me, that is."
Remus took a bite of pork and shook his head. When he swallowed, he said, "You're fighting a losing battle."
"No, I'm not. I always win," Tonks said teasingly. "And I always get what I want. It's one of the perks of coming from the Black family."
"Heaven help us all," he said in mock fear.
"Let's see what my fortune is." She broke the cookie, pulled out the strip of paper and popped a half of the cookie in her mouth. "Hmm," she said, still chewing. "Ish says—" she swallowed "—the coming year will see much improvement in your love life." She gave him a pointed look. "Well, it'd better, Remus. What does yours say?"
Remus had already eaten his cookie. He picked up the paper and read, "A major decision is coming your way…And your lucky numbers are four, eight, fifteen, sixteen, twenty-three, and forty-two." He shook his head skeptically. "These things are rubbish."
"You never know. Twenty-three was one of the numbers, and you know my twenty-third birthday was just last month," Tonks reminded him.
"I don't think this has anything to do with age. If anything, it just means I should enter the lottery with those numbers."
"It was worth a shot," she replied glumly. "D'you want to watch the movie now?"
"Sure," Remus replied with a shrug, as he took their dishes to the sink.
Tonks put the leftovers in the fridge. "I'll go get it ready. Would you mind getting the quilt from my bed?"
"No, I'll go grab that right now." He followed her out of the kitchen and stepped into her bedroom. He noticed a picture on her nightstand he didn't recall having seen there before. Forgetting his reason for coming into the room, he sat down on the bed and picked up the photo to take a closer look. He remembered when it had been taken, at Mad-Eye's insistence that future Order members would want to see what their predecessors had been like before they had been struck down. The three of them had laughed, as was evident in the photo, but Remus felt rather grim remembering the occasion. After all, Sirius had died only a few months after the picture was taken. What if Tonks's turn was next? He couldn't stand to think about it.
"Remus?" Tonks's concerned voice came through the open door. "Did you get lost?"
"No. I'm coming. I just got distracted." He set the picture down carefully, then pulled the quilt off the bed. He carried it out into the living room where the cabinet was open, revealing a television showing a black and white picture where the credits were just starting. "So what's the movie?" he asked.
"Just an old American Christmas film," she said.
"What's it called?"
"It's a Wonderful Life. Have you ever seen it?" she inquired, sitting down next to him on the couch and resting her head on his shoulder.
He spread the blanket over them and put an arm around her. "I don't recall. I know I watched a few movies with my mother, since she was Muggle born, but I don't really remember any of them, since it was so long ago."
"That's a shame. There are some good movies out there. Maybe I'll see if I could rent some and we could have a movie night."
He shrugged. "Maybe someday."
By the end of the movie, Tonks had leaned over completely and curled her legs up onto the couch. Her head was rested in Remus's lap, where he absentmindedly stroked her hair. When the screen went black, she sighed. "I don't want to get up," she mumbled.
"You don't have to." Remus grabbed his wand from the end table and waved it at the television, which turned off.
"Thanks." She turned her head up to face him. "I'm so glad you came."
"I'm glad I did, too. I hate to think what might have happened if I didn't."
She ignored the last part and said, "'Night, Remus."
"Goodnight, Tonks."
"Dora," she hissed. "You may not want to feel like my boyfriend, but I want you to."
He shook his head. "I suppose there's no use in fighting you, but no matter how much I wish to be, I can never be your boyfriend."
"You're a prat," she muttered. "But you're my prat, and I love you, so I guess it's all right."
Remus smiled but said nothing. He felt Tonks's—Dora's—breathing grow more even and he knew she was asleep. He continued to play with her hair, watching snow fall outside the window that Dora had forgotten to draw the curtains of. As he watched the flakes drift by and felt the steady rhythm of Dora's breathing, a peace came over him and as he began to fall asleep, he knew that there was no place he would rather be. In that moment, a part of him was tempted to give up on fighting his feelings for Dora. He allowed this idea to develop for a few moments before shaking it away and giving in to sleep.
I just want to say, I've had Chinese food for Christmas dinner before, and it's pretty awesome. I agree with Tonks-no cooking involved! And Remus's "lucky numbers" are my tribute to Lost, which I still can't believe is over. Anyway, writing this made me even more excited for Christmas...If only Remus Lupin would turn up on my doorstep...