Okay then, now that I'm out of my writing funk I'm gonna get down to business on this one, by the way anyone here ever had a ingrown toenail removed If so then how long do you keep the dam dressing on it, I cant even take a shower for Christ's sake
On a lighter and less stinky note (three days without a shower, its nasty) I'm gonna open up the list for the harem.
So far I've decided to go with.
Sora uzumaki. (distant cousin, like really distant)
Fem haku because well haku is awesome and I got the scene for that already written.
And an OC who will have the same ability as naruto, not the rinnegan I'm giving him something form his dad's side of the family.
And maybe fu, because fu is awesome.
There will also be a crossover with fairy tail and soul eater down the line just to give you ample warning
I do not own naruto or soul eater or fairy tail; you'll see why I put the second part in there in a bit.
Midget god chapter two
Sora dropped the storage scroll onto the ground as she gaped at the house, no, mansion in front of them, it easily dwarfed the uzumaki heads house, it was at least four floors high, her eyes swivelled left and right as she counted the windows on each floor.
There were twelve windows on each floor with every other window twice the distance from the other one meaning six bedrooms a floor.
Naruto in the other hand simply raised an eyebrow at the size and said.
"this is gonna take a hell of a long time to clean, not to mention the furniture will cost a fortune and will be a pain to move in, I wish they had given us something smaller."
Sora gave him a look of incredulity. "We are given a mansion that is bigger than all of the clan houses in Konoha combined and you're actually bitching about it, what is wrong with you."
Naruto turned to her with a small frown on his face and replied in a tone of annoyance. "I was trying to be funny, just because you have no sense of humour doesn't mean that no one else does"
She sweat dropped at this and then shouldered her scroll and made her way inside their new home.
When they entered they were both pleasantly surprised to find that it had already been furnished, it was simple things like beds and chairs, and the fridge in the huge kitchen was also fully stocked.
Naruto opened the cupboard and spotted an odd box of food that he had never seen before, he picked the box up and opened it to reveal thin bread sticks, he drew one out curiously and found the end coated with chocolate, he popped it in his mouth and bit into it.
His eyes lit up and he swallowed happily before grabbing another and starting to eat it.
He stepped into the living room to see Sora unpacking her things onto the floor from the sealing scroll she had brought with her.
He watched her for a struggle with a small table for a few minutes before sighing and focusing chakra into his arm and hands then placing them on top of the table causing it to stick fast.
"Were do you want it."
She pointed to a spot by the large window in living room, and naruto rolled his eyes before walking over and deposited it onto the floor then turning back and looking at her expectantly.
She pointed to a set of dressers then at the far wall and so naruto performed his duty as the living forklift once more.
They finished unpacking after easily three hours of straight work, naruto lay on his back on the carpet of his new home with Sora lying next to him, he was grinning as he said.
"Why are you lying down you didn't do anything."
She turned her head to grin back at him and replied. "Shut up, you've got weird eyes."
Naruto chuckled at this and shook his head slightly. "Low, real low."
"I hate to interrupt this touching moment but I have orders from the hokage to escort you the tower."
They both looked towards the door to see four people in the entrance to the living room.
The one who had spoken was a tall woman with flowing slightly curly black hair that fell past her shoulders, she wore a red dress with bandages on her thighs and legs, she was smiling in bemusement.
Behind her was what naruto assumed to be her gennin team.
A small girl whose head appeared to be shrinking into her jacket her face burning from embarrassment, nest to her stood a tall boy with a mop of scraggly hair on his head on top of his hair sat a small puppy, next to him was a tall boy with a jacket that almost completely covered him, the exception being his hair, on his face sat a massive pair of glasses.
Naruto jumped to his feet at almost the same time as Sora did leaving a small grin on the face of the jonin, naruto and Sora followed her as she left the house.
XxXxXxX
They arrived at the hokage tower in record time, as they entered they saw the hokage waiting with iruka and an old man with a bottle of sake in one hand, he was completely wasted that much you could tell.
The hokage smiled while iruka frowned slightly and the old man simple ignored them and eyed kurenai.
"Ah naruto, Sora, I have decided that instead of a standard test you will accompany kurenai-san and her team here on their first C-rank mission, is that okay with you."
Naruto and Sora nodded Sora doing so enthusiastically whilst naruto did so absentmindedly, he was more concerned with the fact that he had absolutely no weapons and would have to rely completely on Jutsu or hand to hand combat.
His Jutus's were devastating his hand to hand was passable, but while sleeping he had mastered a very lethal swordsman's style; however it required some very unorthodox materials to use properly.
He was shook from his pondering as the group was dismissed to go and pack.
He grinned and wrapped his arm around Sora's waist causing her to blush deeply before he shunshined back to his house, when he left the Jutsu in a swirl of leaves Sora bobbed him on the back of the head and stormed of to her room her face still red from embarrassment.
Naruto chuckled softly and then went into his room to start packing when he realised that he hadn't actually unpacked and so simply grabbed the sealing scroll labelled clothes and a packet of pocky which he attached to his leg like a kunai holster.
When both of them had finished packing they left for the gate on foot this time.
When they arrived they found the entire group minus kiba waiting for them.
"Hey, sorry I'm late guys, akamaru needed to pee before we left."
They all swivelled around to see a sheepish kiba rubbing the bag of his head while akamaru grinned at them, kurenai simply sighed at her student's antics and they left the village for the country of wave.
They had been walking for a good half an hour when narutos eras twitched as he heard a rushing sound.
After that three things happened, swords fell from the sky littering the ground around them, yellow warning tape enhanced with chakra wrapped around the trees and man wearing a shirt, jeans and a trench coat landed in front of them, he had a small reed in his mouth a sword in the other.
Naruto was separated from the others by the tape; he had a clear run to the man glaring at him from across the distance.
"Surrender the old man or face my infinite one sword style."
The mans word left no room for argument and a chill ran up everyone's spines, it was then that naruto did something no one else expected, he began to laugh, this went on for almost a minute, when he calmed down he grinned cockily at the man and said.
"I'm sorry it's just that, the only sword style I know, the only weapon style beyond berserker I know, is that one, so let's see whose better shall we."
They stood staring at each other as the wind blew sending a small leaf in-between them drifting lazily until it touched the ground, naruto shot forward grabbing on the blades and struck the mans shoulder.
He spun around grabbing another blade and slammed it into his arm smacking the tip against the other blade embedded into his shoulder, he then kicked another sword up and pierced the mans elbow followed by three more swords in his other shoulder, elbow and in his back.
This continued until twelve blades were in his body, naruto landed behind him and grabbed a final blade spinning around he struck the other embedded weapons causing them to vibrate and fire out back into the ground, and then naruto called the name of the attack.
"multiplication"
This was done so fast that it was barley perceivable to the naked eye, the man then poofed away revealing it to be a clone all along.
The real swordsman leapt from the trees and struck at naruto who deftly deflected his sword into the ground forcing the man to grab another. This too was deflected into the ground next to the others; naruto then used his foot to kick a blade from behind him and embed it into the floor forming a line of three.
The mans eyes widened as he realised what naruto was doing and that he was already to late to escape, with a cry naruto kicked all of them into the air and cried out.
"Sword fang."
The mans blade was knocked out of his hand and naruto drew his own back and hit the air born blades slamming them forward with a shout of.
"Vertical line"
Two cut the mans ribs with the third spinning around to make the handle smash directly into his stomach, he fell back with an expression of shock written on his face, the chakra powered tape fell limp on the ground as the man was knocked out.
Naruto stabbed the sword into the ground and collapsed as blood erupted from the many small nicks and cuts he had received from tossing the blades around like toys.
The team ran forward to help him when he held up a hand for them to stop, as he did so he was coated in red chakra, his wounds literally evaporated of his skin.
He then made ten shadow clones and set them collecting the swords and tape while naruto stretched and cracked his back with a horrific snapping sound, he then turned back to his teammates and grinned at them.
"Hey kurenai-san, I didn't think that one of the seven shinobi swordsmen counted as bandits, did you"
They all turned to look at a shaking tazuna never noticing the swordsman shakily using a shunshin to escape with his life.
Tazuna proceeded to tell them about how his village was being oppressed by a business man called gatou and how they didn't have enough money to afford to hire anything above a c-rank mission, in the end they decided that they would carry on in spite of the danger.
So they soon began moving again with naruto and kurenai both very disturbed that the swordsman had recovered from such a powerful attack so quickly, as they approached the bridge by water they could finally appreciate the size of it, it easily dwarfed almost anything naruto had ever seen.
They set down on the shore and continued walking along the path, a rustling in the bushes caused narutos hand to snap out and he cried.
"Bansho tenin."
The bushes shook and the terrified form of a small snowy rabbit shot out and ended up hanging form narutos hand by the scruff of its neck, narutos head cocked to the side as he looked at the rabbit and he said.
"Why, is there a white rabbit in summer time, in fire country were it never snows."
Kurenais and her team's eyes went wide as they realised what he had worked out, the rabbit was being used for a substitution Jutsu. Naruto handed the rabbit to Sora who gave him a small look of confusion to which he replied.
"I don't like animals, they smell"
She rolled her eyes and put the rabbit in her pack where it curled up and fell asleep, satisfied she closed her pack and looked up just in time to be dragged to the floor by naruto as massive sword cut the air where she had just been standing and embedded itself in a tree.
A tall man wearing combat trousers and a facemask along with arm warmers landed atop the handle and glared down at them in annoyance.
"Which one of you bastards stole mifunes swords and tape."
Naruto moved an allowed the man to see the small box filled with swords and wrapped in tape resting down by his shins, the mans non-existent eyebrows rose and he chuckled softly.
"A gaki like you managed to beat mifune, man we need some bigger jobs he's getting rusty, haku get down here, we end this now."
As he said this a hunter Nin leapt out of the trees and landed below the man and said.
"Hai, zabuza-sama"
Zabuza ran through hand seals at a lightning fast pace that narutos rinnegan copied flawlessly to the point were it made him want to perform the Jutsu on instinct, as zabuza finished a mist creeped in from around them and haku drew several senbon needles and got in a fighting stance just before she was swallowed by the mist.
They all went on guard and naruto muttered. "kurenai-san, I am incapable of defeating him or even putting up much of a fight, I only managed to beat mifune because he underestimated me, I stand little or no chance against this man, we will take on his younger friend while you fight him, is that acceptable."
Kurenai nodded slowly and then threw her kunai into the mist, it met the zanbatou of zabuza with a resounding clang, she jumped in after him leaving the gennin to deal with his accomplice.
After a few minutes the mist cleared to reveal that they had been surrounded in a dome of ice mirrors, there was a hunter Nin in each of the mirrors all brandishing senbon needles.
They were royally fucked.
Kurenai was locked in a battle of genjutsu with zabuza, every time she would make one he would either turn it against her or break free fast enough to keep him safe form any attack that would normally follow.
She sent several kunai flying towards him forcing him to block them with his blade making im raise it in front of his eyes, when he brought I down he couldn't find kurenai, the entire forest was silent, he frowned and bit down on his lip revealing the genjutsu and kurenai who was charging him with a kunai.
He swung and sliced her clean in half only for a massive amount of pain to erupt form his back followed by several dull thuds, the illusion she had hidden under the first came away showing kurenai behind him sending the final kunai towards his throat as he desperately ran through handseals.
His was coated in water a mizu shunshin allowed him to escape, haku sensing her masters departure also disappeared leaving a heavily wounded team of gennin behind, naruto and kiba were both on the floor knocked out by nerve strikes from the senbon as haku had gone for the strongest first.
Kurenai limped over and ordered shino to grab kiba while she and Sora hooked an arm under naruto each and began to carry him the rest of the way to Tazunas house.
XxXxXxX
Naruto panted as he performed another Shinra tensei, he still couldn't get rid of the five second pause between each one, as powerful as they were if someone could figure out he was helpless for five seconds he was a dead man.
He slumped against the tree and started to munch on a stick of pocky then he held it up in the air and said.
"Want some pocky Miss Hunter nin."
Three senbon needles shot out of the branches of the tree above him, one laded in between his legs the other two landed on his pack pinning it to the ground and stopping him from grabbing anything inside.
Then the hunter Nin jumped down and grabbed a stick of pocky before sitting in front of naruto a small frown marring her soft features.
"Try anything and the next senbon I throw wont miss, and its haku, not hunter Nin."
Naruto nodded and gulped then said. "You know you remind me of Sora but with more precision violence."
She smiled at this and said. "Yes our teammates seem very weird, oh yeah where the hell is my rabbit."
As she finished her expression grew dark and naruto could have sworn that he could see flames ignite in her eyes, he placed his hands up in the universal please don't kill me gesture and reached for his pack.
He ripped out the senbon needles and opened it allowing a snowy white rabbit to crawl out cautiously its nose twitching.
"I had to move him to my pack because kiba's dog akamaru kept trying to eat him when he was in soras, I didn't hurt him and we feed him a couple of carrots he etas like a horse."
While this was being said haku was hugging the rabbit to her cheek, naruto got the impression that she wasn't even listening until she jumped forwards and wrapped him and bone breaking hug pressing her face into the crook of his neck.
"Thank you so much, that's first kind thing that anyone other than zabuza-sama has ever done for me."
Narutos arms were spread apart with an panicked grimace as haku sighed into his neck showing no signs of letting go, he awkwardly placed his arms around her and hugged her back albeit a bit hesitantly still remembering the image of how close that senbon was to his nether regions.
After a about half a minute haku shifted and naruto thought she was going to get up and end this awkward moment, this thought was shot down when she shifted to sit sideways on his lap her face still buried into his neck.
He was that focused on exactly how he was going to explain this when someone comes to find him he missed the barley suppressed giggling from the tress upwind of him as zabuza, mifune and tall dark haired kid with a tattoo of a one footed bird with a long tail on his chest.
His name was gray fullbuster and he was hakus brother so naturally he was growling in anger as he watched his sister cuddle some kid that had tried to kill her earlier, he was also annoyed that the two swordsmen next to him were still giggling like idiots.
They had told him that his sister would go down explain to them that they had killed gatou and then be on their way with the money they took from gatou, they did not mention that his sister would be sitting in the lap of some gennin who haku knocked out with a couple of needles.
He rolled his shoulders in annoyance at the heat and began to unconsciously remove his trouser letting them hang on the branch below him, this was normal fro gray as he had grown up in the cold for most of his life the cold has no effect on him and he actually feels uncomfortable wearing clothes in a snow storm as they make him hot and annoyed easily prompting him to shed them at a moments notice and most of the time without thinking leading his teammates and sister to think he is an exhibitionist.
This was not true he simply didn't like clothes they accepted this, however when he started reaching for the hem of his boxers zabuza drew he line and decided to go and get haku who had fallen asleep and was snuggling even deeper into narutos chest and had started to mumble things that would make a certain toad sage blush.
Zabuza mifune and a partially naked gray jumped down into the clearing, narutos eyes widened and he reached fro a kunai when zabuza spoke.
"Whoa kid slow down, we are just here to tell your jonin that we have offed our employer so we aint gonna bother you anymore, in fact that was what haku was gonna tell you bit she got preoccupied."
Narutos hands shot away from their position around haku at this comment and she moaned in her sleep at the loss of warmth and pushed her self against naruto more making gray scowl.
"Come on then kid wake up haku and take us to your jonin okay."
Naruto nodded and shook haku making her jerk upright and shout.
"Stick it in me."
Naruto was staring at her wide-eyed while the two swordsman were laughing their heads of and gray was staring at her agape, haku herself was blushing a beet red form embarrassment as she got of naruto and straightened out her clothes.
When they had all settled down naruto led them to Tazunas house, the first thing that kurenai did was to grab kunai and charge zabuza, gray touched the floor and said.
"Ice make floor."
A strange rotating seal formed around his hand and ice spread out in front of him trapping kurenais feet and stopping her dead in her tracks.
"Thanks gray, you know you're still only in you're boxers right.
"Son of a bitch then I've come here half naked."
Zabuza and mifune chuckled at this wile haku unsealed some clothes for her brother, zabuza then cleared his throat and proceeded to tell them all what they told naruto ad even included the part with hakus shout.
This caused a massive tick to appear on soras head as she shot a death glare at naruto who paled and willed himself to be tiny, unsurprisingly it didn't work.
Kurenai looked thoughtful for a moment and then said. "You could come back to Konoha with us, the pay for missions is good and no more hunters Nin would come your way, as well as the fact that no one would attempt to harm haku and gray because of their bloodline, in fact they would be treated like royalty."
All of the missing nin had looks of longing on their faces as kurenai said this and they all agreed to come back with little fuss, they settled this over a drink outside were zabuza gave tazuna a scroll contain the deeds to Gatos house as compensation for almost killing him.
That and the fact that he didn't want it anyway.
XxXxXxX
They stood in front of the hokage in the middle of the afternoon the sun filtering through the windows catching the dust particles in the air giving the entire office a dreamy look to it.
They were just hammering out the living arrangements, zabuza wanted a lair, he refused to have a house instead he wanted a lair, what was a lair supposed to look like.
"Zabuza why don't you guys and haku come live with us, we got plenty of room."
Zabuzas and Soras eyes narrowed and they asked their questions at the same time.
"Is it lair like?"
"Why did you say her name individually and they were just guys."
Naruto sighed and said.
"Yes zabuza it's a big mansion hidden in the forest with an attic room so look can look down on the post man maliciously, and Sora I said hakus name separately because I thought she would become offended if I lumped her in with the guys."
Sora smirked at this and said. "Nah, she wouldn't mind she's butch and manly enough to pass as a guy anyway the mistake must be made all of the time."
Hakus eyes watered and she began to sob into her hands at soras comments while grinning to herself when naruto patted her on the back and said.
"Don't worry haku she didn't mean it you're very ladylike."
Haku then went on for the killing blow as she wrapped her arms around his midsection and sobbed into his chest.
"i-I know i-i-its just she's so, so mean to me."
The hokage cleared his throat making haku pull away from naruto and turn her oddly dry face to the front with a small grin that naruto being behind her couldn't see, he also didn't see her and soras eyes shoot lightning at each other.
"good so then you will live at with naruto until further notice, if that is all then have a nice day and get out of my office."
They trudged out with naruto giving his customary see ya jiji.
Authors notes.
About the disclaimer in case you didn't get it mifune is the swordsman that fights black star and gray is the ice mage from fairy tail.
About the lair thing I got this image in my head of zabuza standing in a dusty attic rubbing his hands together as the postman comes towards his door before diving out of the window with his sword.
That image made me laugh so hard I fell of my chair.
So how did my scene with haku go, I rather liked it to e honest with you, oh yeah and encase you didn't get it Sora and haku do not like each other, I am basing the character of haku in a romantic sense of Mizore from Rosario and the vampire.
Well I suppose this is goodbye for now, Ja ne.
Review.
Do it
Do it
Doooo iiiit