Rose POV:

I grabbed Lucians hand and tugged until he looked at me. As his eyes met mine I saw something I had never seenm before, at least, not on Lucian. Love, adoration, the burning need to protect. Me. I used it, pleading with my eyes, feeling small and vulnerable. The crowd was waiting for the outcome of this. Legendary Guardian Hathaway being apparently fought over by two russian gods.

"Sorry Belikov, I'm going to have to rearrange your face another time. We NEED to talk Roza." Dimitri lost it, leaping fforwards with lethal grace, every single muscle tensed, ready to kill. Lucian shoved me out the way, just as Dimitri smashed into him with the force of a small elephant. I leapt into action, finding myself crouching over Lucian as he lay on the floor, dazed. My stake raised in front of me, point near my elbow. I glared at Dimitri, curling my top lip in distaste.

"How could you? After all the pain you caused me, you still feel the need to attack my friends? What did I ever do to you? You're a coward, Dimitri Belikov. A coward and a liar." The crowd of guardians all looked at him, mixed looks of anger, confusion and distrust. I sheathed my stake and helped Lucian up. Glaring at Dimitri again, I stalked away, calling out orders to the others to keep training as normal. Lucian was hurt because of me, I owed him answers too. We went back to my house to clean up his face. I was still furious at Dimitri but he deserved my anger. He deserved everything I threw at him, verbally and physically.

" Luc.. I'm really sorry about that. He's an idiot, and I'm sorry he punched you. I'm going to kill him in training. He had no rig-" my words were cut off by Lucian's fingertips against my lips, moving his hand to cup my cheek, looking into my eyes like they held all the answers of the world.

"Shhh... tell me what happened between you and Belikov. Don't leave anything out, I'll know. I always do." H e was right. I nodded and sat him back down, holding his hands in mine and playing with his fingers. I took a deep breath before spilling the secret only four people knew.

"You know how Dimitri found me in Portland when I ran away from the Academy with Lissa? How he brought us back?" Lucian nodded so I contunes, "The only reason I was allowed to remain to stay at the academy was because Duimitri spoke for me and agreded to menotr me everyday. He was the only one to curb my headstrong recklessness. He taught me to fight, think about situation. He was the one who made me do the running. But he became more. We could read eachother, understand eachother, when no-one else could. In the gym, while sparring there would be these moments, intense moments, full of heat and electricity but we always pulled away. Victor Dashkov saw this and placed us under a lust charm when he stole Lissa away. Things got... heated." I didn't know if Lucian was listening anymore, he was staring at my hands, stroking the lines of my plam. He looked up, eyes asking me to continue.

"After that, when he killed a strigoi that was about to finish me off, he admitted he loved me. Things went back to normal then, but there was still the attraction. The night before we raided the caves, I was under the control of the dark spirits, making me murderously angry. He took me to a cabin to protect me and calm me down before I killed a couple of moroi that hurt Lissa. That's when he gave in, when he didn't to follow the rules anymore. We.. god.. we slept together. He was my first and he told me he loved me, that he would always be there for me. That he would never let anything happen to me. He lied." Lucian sensed my bitterness and held my hand tighter. "The next day, after the raids, he left to be Tasha's guardian, he said that it was a mistake, that it meant nothing. Two days later I was in Russia. That's where we met. I know it sounds stupid, but you can't imagine how I felt towards him, the connection that was there." Lucian resumed tracing patterns on my hands. The controlled breathing and tense neck told me all I needed to know. He was angry. He looked up at me again.

"Actually Roza, I do understand. You loved him, truly loved him and he let you down. I would break his jaw if I could but I think you want that honour. But Roza..." His eyes were incredibly intense as he stared into mine, our faces only inches apart. "...I do understand that connection. I understand it and I... I feel it. Now. Here. With you." and with that he closed the gap between us, kising me sweetly, softly, like all he was trying to convey that was that he cared and wouldn't hurt me. The moment simmered and he wrapped his arms around me, resting my head against his chest.

Tear=streaked, sitting in Lucian's lap and snuggling into his chest felt safe, comfortable and was exactly how Dimitri found me. His eyes and expression was locked under the guardian mask as he peered round my door, taking in me, curled up like a small chld. I turned my face away into Lucian and he stroked my hair, staring daggers at Dimitri. I didn't want to look.

"Guardian Seivre. I need to talk to you, now. Rose... Roza..." He stopped as I turned back to him, glaring for all I was worth. Then a runner burst through the door and stood panting, eyes only for me.

"Guardian Hathaway! The Queen needs you, immediately. The princess is coming, now! Queen Valissa is labour." I leapt into action. I hoped the guys would only talk and not fight, but my charge, soon to be charges, were more important. They come first.

Dimitri POV:

It was amazing yet, terrifying. Tasha had been killed so they sent me back to court to be a guardian to the royal fmaily. I didn't deserve it. Two out of three charges had been killed, two black marks on my name. But I arrived anyway, seeing my Roza for the first time in six years. I knew she would hate me, stubbornly set herself against me in everyway posible. But she had to still love me like I still loved her. I had to leave her before. I was endangering her chamces of graduating, I was a distraction. Tasha was the best way out. Also, as selfish as it was, I wanted a baby of my own. A child that I could love. Rose couldn't grant me that one wish. But it was no use. I couldn't live without her. I forgot who I was, I lost interest in everything. Me and Tasha didn't work anyway. But now my best friend was dead. In the gym there were heaps of guardians gathered to watch the legendary Rose Hathaway train and fight. I snuck in the back, drinking her in. sghe stood in the middle with Eddie Castile, watching the crowd with interest.

"More like an angel of death". I saw her eyes darken and everyone around me drew ina breath. They were actually afraid of her. Weird. She looked beautiful, not scary. She was clad in bike shorts and a cut off top, hugging her figure and showing off a belly buttonpiercing. She looked hot, beautiful but she was weary. I could see through the mask she had up, she was upset about something. Her haor had ben put up into a high ponytail and it was still so long and shiny. I could remember the exact feel of it, running my fingers through its entire length, the softness of it falling on my face in one of stolen kisses.

"Ok, who is man enough to face Guardian Hathaway? Anyone not broken a bone and wants to have the experience? Trust me, she's the next best thing to a strigoi if you want to see how you'll go against one." Eddie beamed in rememberence and Roza.. looked stunning and haughty. I could no longer call her a child, she was a mature young woman and looked like a goddess. A tall bulky guy stepped confidently forward after a few tense moments. He removed his baggy short, knowing full well that she would use it against him. Some of the guys chuckled, placing bets on the winner. I just watched my Roza, taking in every difference, every detail, everything.

He stepped onto the mat and Rose switched into battle mode, but nager, great burning anger and frustration lit her eyes as they ignited with the fire I had always seen in her. Her strengh, her drive her determination was one of the things that made me love her so much. She leaned forward, never blinking, watching every move he made, waiting for a mistake. A mistake he made by acting first.

He went for a feeble and obvious swipe towards her stomach, the first move taught at the academies. Rose looked amused and side-stepped easily, using his momentum to turn her and grab his throat, just as a strigoi would, though the move on their part would instantly snap the neck. Rose looked up coldly, disappointment evident.

"Dead." she simply stated the facthe just 'died' but the word echoed in my mind. Dead. Tasha dead.. the countless times Rose could have died. The crowd applauded and made fun of the guy but I was lost in thought.

"Alright. Out onto the track, 20 laps now." she sounded so much like I did, I smiled and felt proud. My Roza. They, however, were not hapy about that. One courageous boy stepped forward, arrogant and egotistical. Rose took one look and him and straightened up, hands on her hips. Her Guardian mask fell away and she glared up at him. If looks could kill, all of us would have withered and died just from just from intensity of the glare, he would have disappeared in a pile of ash right there. Her self-control has improved... if she were at the academy still, she would have ripped his head off after punching his nose in by now.

"Say you're out with your moroi and there's six strigoi. You're out-numbered but somehow managed to keep the strigoi in frony of you and the moroi behind" she made it sound as if he was far too thick to even manage that. "WHAT do you do?" I knew the answer. She had asked me the same thing, she had just changed my example. His confusion settled her victory. You run, it was simple. Her expression and tone matched mine that day. She replied to his silence.

"You grab your moroi and you first mentor was one of the best, he had me running 12 laps twice a day, everyday after I came back from being AWOL for two years. Two years where all I did was vege out in a hish school campus. Yet the running has saved me many times over. You don't want to run? I can give you the easier task of teaching academy students instead." Her threat worked and they grumbled, leaving to go to that track.

I followed them, just catching her threatening them with night-shifts if they were to slow. She was brilliant. Starting to run, she streaked ahead, running at an even speed, leaving them all to struggle. I watched like I used to at the academy, amking sure nothing slowed her progress. She finished, barely breathing hard, watching them collapse over the finish line. Instantly leader, she sent off the slowest and told the others what to train on. She was going to take on nine. How would my Roza manage all of them?

I hid in the shadows, leaning against the wall. The nione went at her simultaneously but she took every single one down, moving like a strigoi. With her back to me, I could see her tattoos. 1...2...3...4... four battle stars. My Roza.. in four battles. Her promise mark wound around them all, in it, a glimmering gold sun. I didn't know what that meant. Focusing on molijna marks, I tried counting them while she stalked the remaining three opponents. 17. 17 kills. My Roza.. had killed 17 strigoi by herself. She was lethal, beautiful, respected and amazing. I lover her, that yearning, never estinguished, flared up as strong and as persistant as before.

They all lay now, pretending to be dead or exhausted at the side. She was telling them in no uncertain terms, exactly how she thought they fought. She stood up, as beautiful and as graceful as ever. She seemed even more breathtaking now. Her hair, how I loved her hair, cascaded down her back, even when tied up. Moving over to the dummies, she began practicing more advanced moves, at one point, both feet leaving the ground and ramming into a dummy, one hand on the ground. Her other hand went to the stake strapped to her thigh as a tall dhampir guy stepped behind her, obscuring my veiw. She spun and threw herself at him, smiling as he caught her and swung her around in a hug instead of being knocked to the ground by the tackle.

He hugged her and smiled into her hair, I could see him inhaling the shampoo smell, eyes closing in bliss. Envy made my vision blur. He put her down and she smiled again, taking in his appearance like she did when looking for injuries. He had long chocolate brown hair, lighter than my own. He was taller than me, by... a lot.. and bulkier. But that didn't matter. What did matter was how he looked at her and how she smiled at him. Had she moved on like I intended her too? Had she forgotten me in her anguish? No, she couldn't have.

"Lucian! I have missed you so much! No-one here can beat me anymore. It's been pretty hectic with all the attacks as well." The way she said Lucian, it had an accent to it, one I knew. She said it with a russian lilt. I stepped closer, I needed to hear what they were saying. Lucian just studied her face. I could tell what she was feeling from here, and he had to try hard right in front of her. What chance does he have with a woman like her. But still, he wrapped his arms around her, laying his head on top of hers.

"Oh Roza. Who did this to you? Huh? Oh! Shhhh.. honey, don't cry!" I saw red again. This.. This... boy, was calling her Roza. My name for her! And she was letting him. Did what to her? I swear, I'll rip who ever hurt them limb from limb. After I punish this guy. A few tears slid down her cheeks and he held her closer, stroking her hair, murmering to her in russian. "It's alright, Roza, my love. I'm here, I won't let anyone hurt you. You're safe. If only you knewm if only I could tell you how much I love you. It would be so much easier than this" I knew she didn't understand what he was saying, but I could. I felt my control slipping. She pulled away and looked at his feet instead of his face. She was embarrassed. "Roza.. Look at me. What's wrong? You can tell me. And don't bother lying, you know I see right through it all. I know something pains you, I knew it ever since the first day I found you in Russia" he said Roza again. But wait... my Roza was in Russia? Why was she in Russia of all places? Unless... she wouldn't have gone there to look for me, I never gave her my reason for leaving. Or even say goodbye. How much had I hurt her? She stepped away, picking up the pieces of her guardian mask. "Speaking of Russia... how is everybody? Oleona, Viktoria and Karo? Has Sonya had the baby yet? Yeva as scary as ever? Man, I miss them all so much. Did you give them their present?" Oleona... Viktoria... Sonya... Yeva... Karo... all my family. How did she meet them? Why did she go there! Yeva knew about us! Why... I wanted to take Roza into Russia to my family myself. Sonya was pregnant again? "Well, Viktoria stopped hating you after the party issue. Oleona wants you to come back, she really misses you. The baby is a little boy called Vladmir. Paul lost his first tooth and Yeva, well, she's still Yeva". HE was visiting my family? Party issues? If Viktoria was going to moroi parties... I clenched my fists, not really wanting to listen anymore. I strode up behind them and she whirled around to face me. She glared and it still took my breath away. "Roza...? Who.. is.. he?" he looked like he wanted to step back from my expression and step forward to protect her from me. Coward. I found myself speaking in a dark and dangerous voice. "Roza? Roza! How dare you call her that. Why were you even near my family?" she stood in front of him, making me calm slightly, but his hands appeared on her shoulders. Anger clouded my thoughts again. How dare he touch her... how dare he even think about it. I was the only one who could touch her like that. The night at the cabin flashed back, the best night of my life. The feel of her soft skin, the warmth of her touch, her lips yielding beneath my own. "Guardian Belikov, I know you must be upset after Lady Ozera's death, I would rather we saved this coversation for another, more appropriate time. As you can see, Guardian Seivre and I have matters to discuss." Her words stung and I had to refrain from flinching. She was mad, but I could still feel the connection, the understanding between us, the spark in her eyes. I resumed hiding behind my mask again. I controlled my voice before speaking again, I did't want to hurt my love more than I already had. "Of course Guardian Hathaway. Would you mind stepping outside with me for a moment. I need to discuss something very important with you. Privately." I pulled my self control back, trying to keep it together. Her brow pulled together, stress making her quiver. I longed to hug her, touch her hair, press my face into her neck and let my emotions consume me. Her eyes clouded with spirit darkness and I mentally cursed. I pulled her our of his grip, looking deep into her eyes, filled with misery, pain, torment, new tears forming. I saw the determination return and she snapped out of it. "Actually Dimitri Belikov. I DO mind. You see, I am a busy person, picking up the pieces of my life that YOU walked out of. So, I 'm sorry if you want me to stop my life for you again, but I can;t do that. I'm not like you you, I'm not going to ditvh my enitre family just so I can go off and wallow in my misery JUST because YOU broke my heart. Do you have any idea how much they miss you? How they hung onto every word I said to them about you? It's selfish." She finished her tirade with my back against the wall, the shame and guilt making me avert my eyes. I had abandoned my family. She saw me, my actions, my soul through my wall and mask. She knew me as well, if not better than myself. I had to try make her see. I spoke in russian instead. "I should never have left you. I loved you, I love you still. I'm sorry I hurt you." But I forgot Lucian would understand me. He looked ready to kill. "You! You're the reason she went on that suicide mission to Russia! You're why she has been miserable all these years! Do you have any idea how long everyone had to work to get her to trust them? You have ruind her trust in everything. The weeks she cried herself to sleep at night, the months she refused to eat! And it was all because of you!" He was in my face, glaring at me. I glared at him right back. He was trying to steal my reason for living away from me. Roza desperately tried to pull him away, she knew my anger, my skills, my want to end this. He looked at her, all his emotions plain on his face, including his love for her. She looked shocked until that calculating gleam made her change tactics. Pleading with her eyes, making herself look slightly more vulnerable to get him to want to go to her more than his want to kill me. The other guardians gathered around us, like kids in a playground fight.

"Sorry Belikov, I'm going to have to rearrange your face another time. We NEED to talk Roza." I lost it, leaping at him instantly. Lucian pushed her away from me, not leaving enough time to block me and protect himself. I crashed into him with the force of a small elephant. Facing Lucian again, I stopped. Roza was crouched above him, stake drawn in a defensive pose. She glared at me, her top lip lifting in a feral snarl.

"How could you? After all the pain you caused me, you still feel the need to attack my friends? What did I ever do to you? You're a coward, Dimitri Belikov. A coward and a liar." She was completely right, I was a coward. I ran away from all my problems. Just like when Ivan died, I ran from my family, away from friends, when things with Roza got hard I left her for Tasha, ran away instead of taking the next step. The crowd didn't know what to think but knew I wasn't to be trusted. She left with Lucian, holding him up and yelling orders at the others. I needed to see Adrain. They were both best friends now, he could tell me what I needed to know.

Knocking on his door, I heard bottles clinking as someone heaved themselves to their feet. I hope he was sober... It opened and he peered out at me, eyes bloodshot. He was hungover, not drunk. He rubbed his head, trying to chase away a headache. I never really liked him, but now I needed him. Hate twisted his features as he recognized me.

"What do you want craddle-robber?" So he knew. Ah.. auras.. of course. But craddle-robber? What did he mean by that? I nodded at him respectfully and lowered my voice.

"Lord Ishakov, I need to speak with you about Rose. Please. It's important." He looked hurt by her name but stepped aside anyway. His room was messed up, empty bottles everywhere. I raised one eyebrow, smiling when I remebered all the times Rose tried to do the same.

"Adrian. What happened when I left?" I cringed. I really didn't want to make him angry, he had no bond to take away the darkness.

"I can't tell you, but I can show you. But only if you really want to know. You have to realise you destroyed her." I knew he meant using spirit, projecting the memory into my head. But I needed to see. He sighed and then I felt warmth flood my mind.

Adrian's Memory Begins:

I saw Rose running from the gym, her hair streaming behind her. Her aura was dark grey and black, swirling like storm clouds. She was angry. Sparks of blue went through it like lightening. She ran and ran, slamming her dorn door behind her. What had Dimitri said to her. How did he hurt her so? I knew it was him. It was her training time. I followed her, finding her curled up under a set of stairs.

"Little Dhampir? What did he say? What happened?" Tears continued their miserable trek down her face and she looked up at me with heartbroken eyes. I had never seen Rose truly cry and look so defeated. I sat down on the cold concrete floor, ignoring the chill seeping through my clothes. I pulled her over. Letting her cry into my shirt. I could see her misery, feel her pain. I knew this was going to effect us, but I was prepared to be her friend, that's it. Her ability to trust would only allow that now.

"Dimi- Guardian Belikov is leaving with Tasha Ozera. To become her guardian and... " She disolved into tears again. I guess. There was one thing that I knew Dimitri wanted a chance at, I had seen it in his aura around parents. Something he thought Rose couldn't give him. Children. But he was wrong. She was shadow-kissed, she was life and death, walking the line of both. But that simple or not so simple fact meant she could have children with a dhampir, but only if they were soulmates, true matches. Something I wasn't going to tell her. Not now. I held her tight. Rose Hathatway was crying. I loved her enough to know she couldn't love me back, not now he had shattered her heart into a thousand pieces.

END OF MEMORY.

I gasped as Adrian finished that memory. My vision returned and I stared at him. Roza could have children.. possibly with me. My heart stopped. Anguish took over but the next memory assaulted my mind, a memory that I dreaded having to see, even through Adrians eyes. Roza had gone, leaving behind a note that sealed her fate.