I had a snap decision to make, search for Lucians spirit and claim him or go and enter the heatbreak that was seeing strigoi dimitri. Or do both! I grimly stared at the door. Where the hell do you find a spirit? I tried calling out but nothing happened, sighing in frustration and walked towards the door, wondering if I could walk through. You gotta put some stock in the movies. As it happened, I could walk through the door, and the person standing guard. I kept brainstorming, maybe if... I thought back, remembering every single detail from when Lucian and I got snowed into a hotel.
Flashback
" ugh, snowed in." I threw myself back onto the queen bed, flinging my arm over my eyes in mock horror. Lucian chuckled and plopped down next to me, crossing his legs. How could people so tall fold themselves up so neatly and gracefully? He looked with distaste at the white window and lay back, shutting his eyes with a sigh.
" Sleep Roza, your glare may make people quake with fear but it will have nothing against the ice queen herself." he fell asleep quickly, his entire face relaxing and his breath getting slower. I was cold and frustrated, this wasn't a sleeping matter! I considered waking him up but he didn't get any sleep last night either. I wiggled up to the pillows and tried to sleep, occasionally glancing at him. How could he fall asleep so quickly? I shivered and shut my eyes, this time feeling my mind wandering into sleep. When I woke, I was warm, warmer than I would ever be in my bed. I didn't want to open my eyes, it felt so safe and better in bed. A draft on my head made my eyes fly open in shock. Lips? Oh. I was facing Lucian, crammed against his body, his lips just in front of my eyes. His leg was hooked over my hip, pinning me down. That would explain the warmth. His arm around my waist was comforting and I inhaled his honey and cinnamin scent. It smelt like home. He shifted, looking down at me, embarrassment colouring his cheeks.
"Oh, I'm sorry Roza.. I move a lot in my sleep, god, I didn't crush you did I?" He was so worried, it made me laugh, he only got redder. I sat up and gave him a swift peck on the cheek, laughing at his stunned expression. Then he laughed with me, chucking the pillow at me which I deftly dodged. I grabbed it, launching it at his face where it hit it's target. I loved his laugh.
End of Flashback
I felt a warm rush and I knew it had worked. I opened my eyes and the shadowy image of Lucian was smiling at me, holding hands with a tall willowy woman with flaming red hair. It was Selene, it had to be. I remembered the time he told me about her. She was a moroi, the woman he fell in love with in his academy. He was set up to be her guardian until she was murdered by strigoi, the same strigoi that were his first kills.
Flashback.
I stared at the sky, watching the clouds go past. Why couldn't I be like the clouds? They were happy, they had nothing to worry about. Lucian was next to me, my hair fanned out across the ground while he tried to decide what colour it was.
"Roza, did I ever tell you why my first three kills were made before I was promised?" His voice had turned sad, as it always did when he talked about his first kills. I shook my head and turned over, looking at him curiously. He had made life more bearable now Dimitri was gone, he kept me as sane as I could possibly get.
"Well, back at my academy, I fell for a moroi. She wasn't moroi but she was like a princess to me. She had flaming red hair, the sort that made the sun pale and the sunset seem like a black and white movie. She was so beautiful. We were best friends until a couple of months before graduation, we were together as usual but something changed, something big. It was like I really saw her for the first time. I kissed her, fully expecting her to freak out at me, but she didn't. She kissed me back and.. well.. let's just say I didn't expect my first time to be in a school dorm room." He chuckled with embarrassment, not meeting my eyes. I laughed too, I didn't expect my first time to be in an abandoned cabin with my mentor that was 7 years older than me, so I guess I couldn't judge. "She was going to go shopping at a mall and as field work started I was to go with her. It was fine until we left. Strigoi attacked and she was killed, she screamed my name as they dragged her down and drank from her. I killed them with my stake and she died in my arms, I couldn't save her." Tears started to form in his eyes and I hugged him tightly. He had lost his first love just like I had. I understood.
End of Flashback
I had to admit, she was beautiful. I just stood and stared, they were happy, already fading. I stepped towards him. Lucian, who I loved so much.
"Lucian, I can get you back, I can get you back to your body, you can live! You can stay with me." I knew, even as I said those words that he wouldn't come. The love in his eyes and the way he stroked Selene's hand with his thumb proved to me that he wouldn't leave her now he found her again. She looked at me with eyes the same blue as a the summer sky, smiling. I couldn't take him away, she had waited this long to be reunited.
e"I'm sorry Roza, Selene is my everything, I love you, but I realise that it's the same way as you love me. You deny it but he has always been with you, holding the majoriy of your heart. I only fixed it, like you fixed mine. Even I couldn't fight the hold he has over you, or the hold my love for Selene has over me. I was your moon, I lit up the dark but he's your sun. I can't compete with that. But in a way, this is better, I am back home." He gazed lovingly at her and she winked at him. I nodded. I had no one now. Dimitri was strigoi and I was alone with a dead body. I couldn't take him away now, even as the sinking feeling took over, I knew he was right. If I thought hard enough, it was easy enough to replace thoughts of Dimitri with Lucian, they looked alike enough. Lucian was my best friend, that was something I could work on with Dimitri, you know, if he was still dhampir. I sighed.
"I know Luc, i'm glad you found peace. I just don't know what I am going to do with myself now I have no one." Lucian looked confused. Then it dawned on him, looking past me. I turned, seeing Dimitri, leaning his 6 ft 6 frame against the wall, watching me. Even as a spirit he was looking out for me. I knew what I had to do. I leapt and hugged Lucian and smiled at Selene before running towards Dimitri. He stood up and glanced around before letting his guard down.
"What's the matter Roza?" he was anxious so I quickly smiled. I couldn't let him know the entire plan. I saw the real Dimitri, strigoi Dimitri, walk into the room I was sleeping in, wrapped in Lucians cold embrace. The very thought made me shudder.
"Look, Dimitri, I know what I am going to do, but you need to be with me at all times. I can't go into details now." he nodded and followed as I took off down the corridoor and leapt through the door, seeing Strigoi Dimitri watching me sleep. I was tossing and turning, just like the turmoil in my mind. "Ok, just go with it." he nodded again, pride and love in his eyes. I concentrated on my body, trying to get into it. Then I felt a rush and my eyes opened. I was still pressed against Lucian, his skin cold and hard, it made me feel sick to stomach. I spun away, seeing Dimitri the ghost and Dimitri the Strigoi standing side by side. I stood, smiling my best man eater smile at Dimitri. He flinched but continued to stare. I was afraid of him but I knew what I had to do.
"Hey Comrade, what's happening?" I used a light friendly voice. He had massive shadows under his eyes, he hadn't fed yet, he was still fresh, not yet made his first kill. I smiled inwardly, this would make my job a whole lot easier. I sauntered closer. "What's the matter comrade? Don't you want me anymore?" His cold strigoi eyes glinted and I knew he wanted me in a different way, I was counting on it. He inclined his head, cold and calculating. The spirit Dimitri was staring at me in horror, I was flirting with death, again. I stepped closer, flicking my hair over my shoulder. I knew the scent alone would drive him made, the exposed neck would just further the insanity. I called out with my mind to the ghosts, they came, filling the room, still invisible to Dimitri. I knew it was dangerous, but I had to try.
"What made you change your mind Roza? You claimed you loved the weakling Lucian this morning, now you want me instead?" His voice mocked me, made me feel rediculous. I almost decided to quit, but I couldn't lose him. Not again. I stepped forward, noticing the hunger in his eyes. I braced myself, cocking my head to the side as if to look at him properly but in reality, exposing my neck even more. He took an involuntary step closer and I smiled seductively, keeping all my resolve as he got even closer. I dropped my voice to a whisper.
"Well, comrade... It might have been my dream about the cabin all those years ago, the need I felt to be held like that again, something I havent felt since. The heat, the pleasure." I could see his control go and he was infront of me, hands like vices on my shoulder. I grimaced and held my breath as his teeth sunk into my shoulder, as the first suck of blood sent that piece of me into him, the piece that I so desperately needed him to have. I looked at all the ghosts before me and Dimitri last, he realised what I was doing. He couldn't stop me. I muttered out before, the bliss took me, the words that they needed to hear.
"I love you Dimitri, always have, always will. You are part of me, you complete me and now the whole world knows why. I love you and I need you, just like you needed me when we spent the night together at the academy." The high from the bite sent me into lala land, just as I saw Dimitri smile and walk towards me, glowing. The spirits nodded, disapearing one by one. Lucian and Selene, holding hands faded gradually. They had moved on. I closed my eyes and I only just felt the fangs disapear, replaced with warm lips and frantic hands.