What Have I Done?

"What would you say to Emily if she was here?" I asked pouring the rubbing alcohol all over his private area.

"Probably help, some kid's going to cut my balls off." he sobbed; trying to play it off as a laugh.

"Well I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that she wouldn't have done anything considering you were the cause of her being sent away." I augured back.

I gripped the scissors as I pressed hard against his skin.

The red liquid oozed out of his sack, I scrunched up my nose as I smelled the metallic smell.

I ignored the sensation of my nausea and continued on cutting; hearing the horrific, pain filled screams coming from Jeff.

I just kept cutting slowly feeling like I was loosing myself and becoming a monster.

Weird thing was I didn't mind it one bit.

The thrill coursing through my body, knowing what I was doing was wrong.

I laughed cruelly at Jeff's scream.

I knew that any second now someone would hear Jeff screaming.

I smiled as I kept cutting earning another scream from Jeff causing me to forget what I was suppose to cut off.

This made me feel like I was in control and I loved it.

The sick enjoyment of causing Jeff pain, like he caused to the others before me.

I looked down at the passed out Jeff in front of me, and noticed that I had cut off his ball sack.

I sighed in disappointment and grabbed the needle and thread I had prepared before and began stitching the wound.

As I was finishing up my job Jeff began to move, so I quickly grabbed his legs to keep him from causing more harm.

"Careful, Jeff I'm not done yet." I said finishing up.

I looked up at Jeff's face, I grabbed some bandages and tape.

I carefully put it on over his wound "Now you are going to have to not move around a lot, lift anything heavy, and I definitely recommend that you, yourself take off the stitches. So you don't have to go through any embarrassment to explain to your doctor how you got that. I should say in about 3-4 weeks you can take them out." I instructed

I grabbed the severed organs with gloves I had in my bag "What should I do with these?" I asked the tone of my voice almost unrecognizable.

He just cried; trying to bury his face in his arm.

"I could throw it outside and let some animal eat it, but then again you're such a environmentalist I shouldn't" I said walking to the kitchen sink.

"I'll just chuck these in the garbage disposal." I said throwing the organs in the sink.

I turned on the garbage disposal and listened to the sound of the disposal grinding the organs.

I smiled pleasantly "I'm going to take a shower I don't want the blood to stay on my skin for a moment longer."

I plopped Jeff in the side to make sure he was OK. Once he moved away from my touch, I walked towards the bathroom.

I went to the sink I need to be ready just in case Jeff does escape again.

I turned on the hot water and ran my hands under it; feeling the water burn me, but I need to make sure it kill all the germs.

I watched as the blood washed away, feeling satisfied I looked in the mirror and for the second time today I saw my reflection.

I saw my eyes they were dark with anger.

I had blood stains around my chin and my neck.

I gagged at the sight. I cupped some of the water and splashed it on my face and neck, rubbing soap on my face.

As soon as I knew I got everything clean from my body, I walked out trying to regain my cool.

What did I just do? Did I really do this? Did I actually go through the plan and cut off his balls?

I reached the kitchen and saw Jeff still in tied up. I breathed in deeply and walked up to him.

I untied him, so I could get him back on the chair, so I could think of what to do with him next.

As we were walking to the chair, I was looking out the window.

I needed to make sure no one was watching what was taking place in Jeff's apartment.

I saw a figure in the window before I could even figure out what it was, I was struck with a heavy object against my head.

I wake up restrained from head to toe. "What's going on?" I said groggy.

A huge pain came from the back of my head. I wanted to grab my head, but I could move my hands it was tied down.

I frantically looked around. Jeff sat at the couch with a menacing look on his face.

"Payback's a bitch James." He said waving a knife in the air.

He flashed me a smile that was anything but friendly.

I laughed at the irony now. "Oh so what are you going to do Jeff?" I asked trying to sound as calm as I could.

"And more." he edged his way to me.

My eyes widen as he grabbed my hand, singling out my pinky he put the sharp edge against the skin.

I swallowed back a scream quickly trying to think of any ideas to save myself.

My mind went blank, so I had to relay on my instincts.

Jeff got in my face trying to see the fear in me, his brushed against my nose.

It was now or never and I definitely didn't want to give up without putting up a fight.

I was too close to finishing what I came here for and I'm not going to be stopped before finishing.

I needed to finish my mission to get my pay back for Angela, Carlos, Logan and every other kid he killed.

A/N: So did you like or hate it? It might suck I'm a little sleepy but It's OK I'm a big girl I can handle the criticism honest. So I know I haven't been on here for like a week and I'm sorry. I really don't have any excuse for that, just that I've been lazy and just slept speaking of which I'm going to do that as soon as I post this. Please pwease review! If you don't want it's cool I guess as long as you favorite, subscribe. I'm starting school August 25th so that might take up a chunk of my time, but whenever I can update I will no worries.