Author's Notes: AU fic written for HP Summersmut in 2007. In addition to your more usual sexytimes content, this includes voyeurism, exhibitionism, fleeting mentions of cross-dressing, and implications of a threesome. Contains adult content, but it's slightly edited down from the original version to comply with 's policies, so it's not super-explicit.

"You've what?"

"You heard me."

"No, what I heard were the words, 'I've asked Snape to take me on as an apprentice'. Since that can't possibly be what you said…"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Well actually, I said 'Severus', not Snape, but otherwise you're pretty spot on."

Sirius mouthed the word 'Severus' with a frown on his face, as if it was a foreign word that had no meaning whatsoever to him.

"And he said yes, by the way," Harry added proudly. "It took some convincing – a lot, actually – but he did eventually agree."

Remus foresaw that the situation was about to get way out of hand. Attempting to diffuse the tension before it escalated into something they would all likely regret, he forced a smile to his face.

"Congratulations, Harry," Remus said as honestly as he could manage.

"This can't be happening," Sirius protested under his breath, paying Remus no heed. "I don't even know why you'd want to go into spell creation, of all things, let alone have Snape teach you. It's not like you were ever particularly outstanding at Charms. And it's not like it really even runs in the family, or anything."

"Remus says my Mum was brilliant at Charms, actually," Harry retorted.

Sirius looked gob-smacked for a moment. Then he glowered at Remus, who in turn raised his eyebrows.

"I'll just stay out of this, if it's all the same to you," Remus muttered.

"And Snape hates you!" Sirius continued. "He hated James, and he hated you on sight just because you look like him."

That only seemed to make Harry angrier.

"Oh, and you're one to talk about mistaking me for my father, aren't you? Professor Snape – Severus – only thought of me as James' son until I gave him the opportunity to actually get to know me. Now he doesn't hate me anymore. But you… you've had nearly eighteen years to get to know me. And yet, while Remus can be happy for me, my actual godfather, as per usual, is too interested in the fact that that's not how the great James Potter would have acted to even pretend as much!"

At that moment, Sirius rather resembled a Howler about to explode. His face had even reached a similar shade of red.

Harry, however, began speaking again before Sirius could even open his mouth. His voice was raised in a clear effort to cut his godfather off before he could gather wind behind his sails.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, in case you're interested. Severus wants me to gather my things and get back to Hogwarts as soon as possible. He says I'm already behind schedule, what with having no one to tutor me when I was growing up."

"No one to..." Sirius' teeth clenched. "I could bloody well have taught you, don't think I couldn't! He would try to make out that I'm not qualified. He's trying to turn you against us already, Harry!"

Harry, though, wasn't actually listening by that point. He was already out the door, heading towards his bedroom.

Sirius moved as if to follow Harry from the room, but Remus held a firm hand against his chest to stop him.

"Let him go," he said quietly. "You're both in a mood, now. If you don't give him a chance to cool down, you'll only make it worse. I'll go talk to him. It's not me he's angry at, after all."

Sirius looked thoroughly unimpressed with that suggestion.

"It's never you he's angry at, is it?" Sirius muttered.

Remus shrugged, not quite knowing what to say to that. How did you tell your best friend that he wasn't very good at dealing with his own godson?

Remus followed Harry up the stairs, leaving Sirius to pace across the living room like a caged animal, as he'd taken to doing every time he and Harry had a row. Remus worried that, considering how often the two had been going at it over the past couple of years, he'd soon wear a hole through the floorboards and fall straight through.

Remus was tired of being the peacemaker of the household, to be quite honest. For that reason, he thought he might have been a little glad that Harry was moving out. Just a very little, though, for he knew that he'd miss having the young man around so much.

"Harry," Remus called, rapping at the closed bedroom door. "Can I come in?"

The door opened a crack and Harry glanced past him, as if he expected Sirius to be standing there ready to barge in the moment Harry was foolish enough to take his weight away from the door. When he saw that Sirius was nowhere to be found, he stepped aside and allowed the door to swing the entire way open, though he closed it quickly after Remus had entered the room. Harry went to slide the manual lock into place before stopping himself and smiling.

"I kept forgetting that I'm of age, now," Harry said, withdrawing his wand and casting a locking charm on the door. "'Course, I suppose it doesn't much help that Sirius still treats me like a kid."

"He only wants what's best for you."

Harry scowled. "Well, he should bloody well trust my judgement as to what's best for me, shouldn't he? Do you know that he still thought I wanted to be an Auror until a few days ago? He asked me whether I'd already applied to the Academy. I just wanted to laugh in his face, you know? I haven't wanted to be an Auror since I was twelve."

Remus knew that. He thought Sirius might have known, too. Knowing and accepting, though, were two very different things.

"And he still calls me Little Prongs, even though I've hinted as hard as I can that I don't like it anymore. He just can't get it through his thick head that I'm not a carbon copy of my father. Hell, you know I don't even remember my father. All I know of him comes from the stories Sirius tells. And from Severus."

Remus frowned. "You have a right to be upset with Sirius. And I think it's a good thing that you and Severus are finally getting along. But whatever he's told you about James – and about Sirius for that matter – should be taken with a grain of salt. Or rather, an entire handful of salt, if I know Severus at all. You shouldn't hate either of them just because Severus does."

"I don't!" Harry objected indignantly. His eyes quickly fell to the ground and his voice lowered. "I don't hate them, really. Sirius is … he's my godfather, you know? He raised me, and he's a bit like the father and the brother I never had rolled into one. I love him. You know I do. It's just that Sirius doesn't ever really listen to me. He sees so much of James Potter in me that when I do or say things that my father would never have, Sirius either refuses to listen to a word of it or he blows his top at me."

"He doesn't mean to, you know," Remus said. "He only wants so much to be your best friend as well as your godfather. And for as long as I've known him, his best friend has always been James. So he treats you just as he treated James in the hope that you'll respond to him in the same way. The fact that you're James' son only further blurs the lines. But he does love you. You, not just James' son."

Harry shook his head. "He wouldn't, not if I told him everything. See how just telling him what I want to do with my life turned him against me? Imagine if I told him…"

He trailed off uncomfortably, glancing away. Remus had to admit that he was curious, but he didn't ask what Harry had been about to say. That was the sort of mistake Sirius – who was always almost too upfront about what was going through his mind – might make.

"Not like you, though, Remus," Harry continued after a moment with a shy sort of smile pasted across his features. "You like me just for who I am, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

Harry nodded slightly, satisfied, and fell into silence.

Remus once again longed to prod him, to ask what in Merlin's name Harry was talking about, but he knew that that was a sure-fire way to get Harry to clam up entirely.

"So you're leaving tomorrow, you said," Remus said instead.

Harry nodded, shooting him an appreciative look for changing the topic. "Yeah. Severus says that he won't have me 'lolling about' this summer letting my brains leek from my ears. He said it was bad enough that I hadn't even been taught the theory yet."

"Sirius could have taught you, you know. Spell creation may not have been the field that he or James ultimately chose to go into, but they both – much like Severus himself, from memory – showed a particular aptitude for it when they were younger. The Marauder's Map alone involved any number of enchantments of their own devising."

"I know," Harry sighed. "I know. But I just… I wanted something that was just mine, you know? Sirius has always been part of every little thing in my life. For once I just wanted to do things my own way. Be an adult."

"Well, adult or not, you know you can always ask for help, right?"

Harry nodded. "I know that. Right now, though, I have things under control."

"Good. That's good. I suppose that's all we can ask for."

The room was silent for a long while. Harry looked as though he wanted to say something, but every time he opened his mouth he just as quickly slammed it shut again.

Remus awkwardly cleared his throat.

"So, do you need a hand packing?"

Harry shook his head half-heartedly. "I think I'm all right. But…"

Remus raised his eyebrows in question.

"Nothing," Harry sighed.

Remus, now frowning slightly, turned to leave Harry to his privacy. Harry unexpectedly jolted forward and grabbed his wrist firmly so that he couldn't escape even if he'd particularly wanted to. Remus, whose curiosity had most certainly been piqued, actually wanted nothing more than to stick around and have Harry explain himself.

"Wait," Harry begged. "Just… Merlin, this is hard. Sirius would go nuts if I told him. But I don't think I can leave without telling you…"

This time Remus did ask, "What?"

Harry dragged him closer, gripping Remus' robes as if he was worried Remus would bolt as soon as he could free himself.

Then there were warm lips on his. Clearly the separate areas of his brain had been jostled free of each other, for it took him a moment to do the math and realise that the lips belonged to Harry, and that that meant that Harry was kissing him.

Harry was kissing him. Good lord.

Remus jerked away from the younger man, looking slightly downwards at him in stunned silence.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "Oh god, do you hate me? You must. You must think I'm such a pervert."

"Harry, no. Of course I don't. You're a very attractive young man, and it would be highly hypocritical of me to think less of you for liking men, considering my past… well. But I hadn't found time to mention it to you, since you and Sirius were fighting from the moment you came through the door; I'm actually involved with someone. I have been for a few months, now."

"Oh! Oh, well. Er… but if you weren't seeing anyone…"

"Then we would talk about it, and perhaps… but I am seeing someone. That being the case, I think it's a good idea for you to focus your intentions upon someone who is free to return them. Perhaps even someone a little closer to your own age, hmm?"

Harry shrugged, looking dejected, but he didn't contradict Remus. "Um, if you don't mind me asking, who are you seeing? Do I know her? Or him?"

"It's Nymphadora Tonks, actually."

"Oh," Harry said. "Wow." His face swiftly broke into a sly grin, and Remus couldn't help but be amused about how quickly he'd bounced back from being turned down. He sometimes forgot the endurance of youth.

"That's been coming for a while now, hasn't it?" Harry asked. "I thought it was strange how much more time she spent visiting. And what does Sirius think about you dating his cousin, then?"

"Never you mind that."

Harry's grin widened. "So, will Tonks loosen your leash enough to let you visit me at the school?"

Remus did his best impression of a sneer, though he doubted it would hold a candle to those Harry would be seeing near constantly once he was living in close quarters with Severus Snape.

"I'll have you know that I've not been tamed quite yet."

Harry gave him a look. "Yeah, sure. You're an honest-to-Merlin wild man, I'm sure, underneath your books and ten p.m. sharp cup of tea with three sugars."

"I'm a werewolf, Harry. Evening tea or not, I'm a wild animal by nature. And I've lived with Sirius for several years now, as you know. If that's not taken the fight out of me, I doubt Nymphadora stands a chance.

Harry's eyes very quickly shifted to worry.

"You won't tell Sirius about… well, you know… what I did before, will you?"

"I've quite a bit of experience in keeping secrets. I think I can manage to keep that quiet. I think you should tell him, though. He knows about my occasional relationships with men, after all. I'm certain he'd understand."

Harry snorted. "No. No, I don't think he would understand at all, really."

~*~*~*~

Remus quickly revised his earlier opinion that Sirius would understand Harry's preferences.

Harry had set up for Remus to visit for dinner on Thursday evenings once the resumption of the school year had Severus otherwise occupied (and therefore ignorant of Harry allowing 'that bloody werewolf' into his own private domain once a week). Sirius had repeatedly complained about not being invited as well, though Remus doubted he would have come along even if he had been; he and Harry still hadn't really made it up with each other, even almost five months since Harry had moved out.

Remus, however, was suddenly glad that Sirius had never been invited. If he'd chosen to come along on this particular night, Remus thought that the rift between Sirius and Harry might never have been mended.

Harry had been right. Sirius really wouldn't have understood. Not this.

The noises should have been a tip-off, but Remus wasn't really listening out for them until he was practically in the tiny dining room; until he knew what he should be listening for. By the time he heard them, clear as day, he could only freeze for a moment and hope that they didn't hear him when he made his escape.

He wanted to back away, but his feet seemed planted in the ground.

It occurred to Remus, then, that Harry really should have been expecting him. Then it further occurred to him that Severus Snape didn't really seem the type to have any kind of sex – even of the half-dressed, desperate variety – on the dining room table unless he'd been thoroughly pressured into doing so. It had undoubtedly been Harry's idea.

Remus frowned, unsure what was going on. Well, he obviously knew what was going on, but he didn't quite know why. Surely Harry hadn't forgotten about him? Remus thought Harry could hardly overlook the fact that he should have been expecting Remus in that very room at that very moment.

Then Harry's eyes ceased looking downwards at Severus to meet Remus' shocked gaze. Instead of scurrying away in sheer mortification to close his robe around him so that it actually covered him, as Remus was expecting, Harry just watched him as intently as Remus had, until that moment, been focusing on Harry.

Harry smiled knowingly before he flung his head back in ecstasy as Severus audibly moaned.

You little brat, Remus thought, catching on. He said nothing aloud for fear of alerting Severus to his presence, but that didn't stop the thoughts from racing through his head.

Of course Harry had remembered Remus was coming. He'd clearly counted on it. He'd staged the whole thing.

Remus expected, though, that Severus was still mostly clothed by chance rather than by Harry's design. After all, Harry himself was – apart from his open robe hanging from his shoulders and bunched between his back and the table – as naked as the day he was born. Remus should know, since he was there the day of Harry's birth. And that made him feel like the biggest pervert in the wizarding world for not looking away, or alerting Severus to his presence, or doing something that would keep him from watching Harry grow progressively nearer to completion.

And yet, planned or not, to Remus' wonderment he found himself wishing that Severus was also looking a little less than decent at that moment. He chalked that up to being overwhelmed by the whole situation.

As Harry gasped and moaned and writhed, Remus thought of taking care of himself. Harry wouldn't mind, certainly. Unless he missed his guess, that was precisely what Harry wanted. But Remus wasn't sure that it was what he wanted. Watching these two men in what should have been a private moment but for Harry's meddling seemed wrong in so many ways that Remus could barely keep track of all of them.

And, of course, Severus would likely tear him limb from limb if he caught Remus doing what he was thinking of doing.

Harry cried out even louder than before and Severus pulled away from him, coughing slightly.

"Clearly we need to continue your lessons in control if you can't even hold off long enough to warn me."

"Clearly," Harry breathed, a sated smile spreading across his face. Harry furtively glanced at Remus once again and winked.

It was that which finally snapped Remus into action. He fled, not much caring anymore who heard his retreat.

~*~*~*~

"Remus?" Harry called out as soon as the Floo ejected him into the empty living room.

Remus heard the echo of the voice from where he was lying on his bed. He forced himself to keep reading his book, putting off seeing Harry for as long as he could. Of course, it was only a matter of time before Harry tracked him down; for all that Sirius' house was larger than was perhaps necessary for three – now only two, he remembered – men to coexist inside it, it was hardly a mansion of infinite proportions.

"There you are!" Harry exclaimed almost petulantly, as if he'd been looking about for hours only to find Remus right under his nose.

Remus tried to hide his flinch at Harry's arrival. He couldn't have been particularly successful, though, for when he looked up Harry bore a frown on his face.

"What's wrong? Didn't you like what you saw?"

Remus shuddered slightly in a not entirely unpleasant way. The sight of Harry, even completely clothed, provided a crystal clear mental image of him writhing on a table with Severus Snape.

"Honestly, Harry, you know that's not it."

"Then what is it? You took off like Voldemort himself was after you. Which couldn't possibly be the case, since I of all people would know that he's been out of the picture for nearly two decades now."

Remus mirrored his frown. "Harry, you're an intelligent young man. I'm certain that you can figure out for yourself what the problem could possibly be."

Harry sighed. "Is it still about Tonks? Because you told me a few weeks ago that you two had broken up. I wouldn't have done anything like the other night if I'd thought you were taken."

"It's not about Nymphadora. That… well, it just didn't work out. I'm very much single at the moment."

"Well, is this about what Sirius is going to say? Because honestly, once he eventually finds out about Severus and me, he'll probably throw a party over the idea of me being with you."

Remus glowered at him. "No. This isn't to do with Sirius, or Nymphadora, or anything else you're going to suggest. It's about Severus."

"Oh? Um, I'm not with him as a way to rebel against Sirius or anything, if that's what you're thinking. It was coming on for months before I even finished school, not that he would have acted on it then. I'm with him because I really like him, strange as that might sound. It seems weird even to me."

Remus privately wondered about the fact that Harry was so open about thinking it had been inevitable. Harry had, after all, propositioned Remus himself not all that long ago. Those were not the actions of a man who suspected he was soon to be accounted for.

However, he said nothing of the sort. The last thing he wanted was for this to escalate into the sort of fight Harry and Sirius were seemingly so fond of having with each other.

"No, Harry," he said instead, "it has nothing to do with why you chose to be with Severus. You know that I respect your decisions. Well, most of them. But the fact is that you are with Severus. Perhaps it may have been a little different had your partner been young and curious like yourself. However, I can't imagine Severus Snape being anything other than a jealous man. He will not take well to you seeing me – or anyone else, for that matter – behind his back.

"Now, you're an adult, and so I won't make decisions for you. I won't lecture you or even ask you whether you're sure of what you're doing. But I won't be the one who helps you cheat on him. Nor can I stand by in good conscience while you end whatever it is you have with him purely so that you can be with me. He will not appreciate that at all, and he will likely proceed to make your apprenticeship to him as unpleasant as possible. I don't want that for you."

Harry looked stunned. "Woah, hang on there. Who said anything about cheating on Severus? Or breaking up with him, for that matter?" Harry asked incredulously. "I like Severus, a lot. It's just that I like you, too. I have done for ages. And I know that you two respect each other… deep down, at least. I just thought all that tension between you could be put to good use in another –"

Remus burst into nervous laughter. "You're suggesting all three of us…"

Harry shrugged. "That was the idea."

Remus shook his head. "Oh, Harry. Even if we could work through all our differences, Severus isn't that type of man. Hell, I'm not certain that I'm that type of man. And while he may possibly respect me – and I'm not even certain of that much, mind – he certainly doesn't like me enough to want… well, that."

"You might be surprised."

"I doubt it."

"We'll see," Harry said cryptically.

~*~*~*~

Remus wasn't certain what to think when he came home a few days later to find a large basin – though he wasn't entirely familiar with them, it only took Remus a moment to identify it as a Pensieve – accompanied by a note in Harry's messy scrawl sitting in his room, as if both items had every right to be there. Remus gave the note of explanation a perfunctory glance-over before peering into the Pensieve.

Unlike the few Pensieves Remus had seen in the past, this one appeared to contain just a few memories. Rather than a cloudy mass of swirling liquid, he could make out the individual silvery strands of memory swimming past each other. Confined as they were to the small space, they looked like identical snakes coiling quickly around each other. It was quite mesmerising, actually. He drew closer to the Pensieve.

Remus found he was curious despite himself as to what memories Harry could possibly have wanted him to view. Remus already knew most of what there was to know about Harry's life. Hell, he'd been there for a good many of the major events, ever since he'd moved in with Sirius after his friend had taken his godson into his home just over seventeen years ago.

Remus withdrew his wand from his pocket and used the tip to gently nudge the contents of the basin. The swirling quickened to a dizzying pace, and then ceased. An image of Harry formed and Remus leaned further over the Pensieve. He was careful not to touch the surface, uncertain as of yet whether he wanted to fully immerse himself into the memories.

He could just make out that Harry was, in fact, completely naked. Severus was visible at the edge of the scene, watching Harry with eyes half-closed in awe.

Remus pulled away from the sight of it, his breath coming quickly and his heart suddenly racing. Surely Harry hadn't given him a Penseive full of memories of him and Severus together. But even as he thought that, he knew that to believe that the Penseive didn't contain precisely that was merely a fool's hope.

Harry Potter was nothing if not bold. And persistent.

He stared at the Pensieve for quite a few minutes, apprehensive, and then stepped back up to it. He prodded the memories once more and watched as it showed an image of Harry bursting into a room (Snape's again, by the look of it) dressed in a barely buttoned-up white shirt and – Remus choked at the sight of it – a very short plaid skirt that bared a good deal of flesh above his knee-high white socks.

A Muggle school-girl outfit, he decided, a tingle running through him at the thought.

Though Remus couldn't tell for sure from his current angle, he felt certain that Snape was standing on the other side of that room, his eyes just as wide as Remus'.

Remus watched as Harry smiled coyly and twirled on the spot. For a brief second, Remus thought he saw a flash of satiny underpants over a well-formed arse.

f
Remus reached almost involuntarily for the surface of the Pensieve. He paused, uncertainty reigning for just a moment longer, before sighing in defeat. Harry clearly didn't mind that Remus would see this, and he supposed that what Severus didn't know wouldn't hurt him. It was just memories, after all.

From the corner of the room, Harry watched as Remus gripped the sides of the basin and then leaned down so that the tip his nose dipped into the silvery memories. Harry then shrugged off his invisibility cloak and gave Remus' vulnerable form a secretive smile.

"Enjoy," he murmured.

He left the room with the cloak tucked under his arm, barely repressing the urge to whistle merrily. He was pleased with himself, and perhaps equally pleased that Remus had been able to shunt his reservations aside and give in to what he wanted. It was a very good sign of things to come.

Harry thought of how Remus would very shortly be witnessing Harry's memory of a few nights ago. Harry's heart raced at the thought of how aroused and out of control Harry's 'innocent' talk about threesomes in general, gradually leading into dirty talk about Remus specifically, had made Severus.

That would put paid to Remus' earlier protests, he thought. This time around it was unlikely that Harry would be the one who had to go looking for Remus. And he doubted Remus would be staying away for long.

It would take some more convincing, but Harry was quite certain he was up to the task of getting Severus and Remus to climb into bed with him all at the same time.

In fact, Harry was already ever so slightly looking forward to letting Sirius know all about it.

~FIN~