Previously…

I didn't want to hear any more. Seeing red, I stormed out of the arena, letting the door slam behind me. She would have preferred me to die. Some friend.

Alice's words from earlier echoed back at me- how can you be so selfish? I nearly growled in frustration; I wasn't the one who was being selfish. And to think that I had wanted to get to know her again. Why had I even been so close to such a self-centred bitch in the first place?

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened up my photo album again. This time, I opened up the option to 'delete all' and I pressed it, watching as the little green bar slid across the screen as it deleted the hundreds of photos of the same girl, deleting her from my phone.

And for a second, just a split second, I wished that I could somehow delete her from my past as well.

But then the second passed, and the guilt set in. And, of course, my new-found obsession of wanting to know more about the cliché of a girl next door.

~FOM~

He's everything you want

He's everything you need

He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be

He says all the right things

At exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you and you don't know why

-Everything You Want, Vertical Horizon

Foundation of Memories

Chapter 7- Lunar Eclipse

Bella POV

The elation I felt when I got the triple salchow right was incredible. For the first time in the last few exhausting days, I felt a smile light up my face as I landed the jump and sailed across the rink.

The feeling was so amazing that I wanted to do it again; double it. I knew that I had been pushing myself and I knew that I probably shouldn't try again, but I did. And, this time, I fell.

Pain shot through my ankle as I landed on it awkwardly and tumbled to the ground. That didn't matter, though; I had done it a million times before, even a few times since I had arrived at the rink that afternoon. What did matter was the crack I felt tear through my heart as realisation sunk in for the last time. Edward was pretty much gone. His attitude toward me on the balcony had been the final twisted thing my mind could take and something inside me had finally snapped; I had lost my best friend. Perhaps for forever.

I didn't get up as the tears started to come. I sat there, the cold seeping through my clothes and my skin right to the bone. The tears turned into broken, gasping sobs as I sat against the side of the rink, my chest aching with longing to go back in time. I just wished that I could go back to Sunday evening. I would have done anything to stop this from happening. I would have gone back and put myself in front of him and die in his place if I could. I was pretty sure that dying wouldn't be as painful as this.

Suddenly, I heard Jacob call my name. "Bella? Bella, are you okay? That was a nasty fall- I was watching." He came to my side and put a hand on my shoulder. I shuddered, and squeaked out another sob and Jake's voice was softer then. "Bella? What hurts?"

"Nothing," I whispered. "Nothing hurts; I'm fine."

"Why are you crying?" Jake asked idiotically as he helped me to my feet and tugged me gently to the side.

I pulled my arm from his grasp and skated myself to the side. "I just…" I sighed as he came to my side and put an arm around my shoulder. "Oh Jake."

He was silent for a moment, and then he said, "It's him, isn't it? It's Edward."

I nodded, afraid that my voice would shake if I spoke.

"I heard what happened," he told me softly.

I looked up at his face in surprise. "You did?"

"Yeah, the whole school knows about his amnesia. That stuff spreads like wildfire- you know that, Bells."

I groaned and wiped at my eyes. Of course everyone would know by now. I wished that they didn't. Stupid small town.

"You're pretty torn up about this, huh?"

If I hadn't been so upset, I would have laughed. No shit, Sherlock. I sighed as that thought came to me in Edward's voice. That was what he had always said. I swallowed and then said, "I… it's… it's like I don't know him. It's like… I don't even know what it's like. In some ways I wish…" I stopped short halfway through my sentence, the guilt trying to drag me down. I had spent all night thinking about this, and most of the day too, and the guilt was so bad that it felt like I was drowning in it. But was it so bad to wish that I wasn't the only one to lose someone I loved so much? Was it so awful to wish that someone else knew what I was going through?

"You wish?" Jake prodded.

"I kind of… I wonder whether it would be better if he had…" The moment the words were out of my mouth, I felt awful; even worse than I already did. And I hadn't even said the one word that mattered.

"Died?" Jacob whispered it for me.

I nodded my admission. "I feel so bad for feeling like that but… I'm the only one who's lost him, Jake! He's fine, but I have to see him and know that every memory I have of him – of us – he can't remember." And the worst thing was that it was the truth. It didn't seem fair that Edward's parents, and Alice, and all of his other friends would get to see him and talk to him, just the same as they always had, while I lost the most important person in my life.

How unfair was it that I had finally gotten what I had wanted for years, but it had been taken away in the blink of an eye? I remembered Sunday night. Remembered being so happy, knowing that I could kiss Edward whenever I wanted for the rest of my life. But now he didn't seem to be able to stand being around me. Now I wasn't even sure if we could be friends; I would always be waiting for him to remember, and he would always be waiting for me to forget.

Jacob hugged me tighter to his huge chest. "It's okay."

I pushed out of his grasp angrily. "It's not okay, Jacob! It's shit! I love him, Jake. And the other night, I thought that something was actually going right. For the first time ever. He told me that he loved me back, but now he can remember fuck all and I… I can remember everything."

Jake sighed. Then he pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Did you fuck him?"

I stared at him in disbelief and pushed myself out of his arms. "What?"

"Did you fu…?" Jacob trailed off when he realised from the expression on my face that I hadn't misheard him.

Despite the blush I felt on my cheeks, I glared at him. "Do you even know what a personal, ignorant question that is?"

He had the decency to look a little abashed. "So you did?"

I almost literally growled at him. "No. In case you don't remember, there was this terrible accident before we even got to the car."

He narrowed his eyes slightly, thinking. "So you were on your way to do it on the backseat?"

I gritted my teeth together. "Do you ever think with your brain? I mean, I knew you were a dickhead but I didn't realise you never thought with anything else?"

He scowled, but didn't take the hint. "Isn't that shit a little cliché?" he asked. "Edward's really put-out there, hasn't he? What a genius. Can't Eddie-boy think of a better way to pop your-" He didn't get a chance to finish.

"Ow!" I screamed when my fist connected with his jaw; I could have sworn that I head a snap. And it sure as hell hadn't come from his face. I started jumping around manically, as though I wasn't on the ice. "Ow, ow, owwww…"

"Bella?" Jake asked. "What happened to your hand?"

"Your chin's too hard!" I whimpered.

Jacob chuckled and came lightly to my side, trying to take my hand. "Here, let me take a look at-"

I snatched my hand back. "Piss off."

"What? Why? Don't you want me to take you to the hospital?"

"I can take myself!" I said stubbornly.

"You gonna drive with a broken hand?"

I scowled when I realised that he was right. "Fine," I snapped, "but don't talk to me, don't touch me… hell, don't even look at me."

He raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, listening to me for the first time that day.

I didn't even look at him all the way to the hospital. I took myself into A&E, telling Jacob not to bother waiting; I'd walk home. He said he'd wait in the car and I ground my teeth together.

Carlisle saw to me. Luckily, it wasn't a break. I'd just cracked the knuckles kinda hard and sprained three of my fingers on the right hand. Carlisle told me he'd fit a brace and a bandage for a few days just in case.

He smiled to himself as he fitted the brace to my fingers. "A&E must be your second home now, huh Bella?" he asked humorously.

I snorted. "Something like that."

"I always thought skating was a bit of a dangerous sport. Wondered why Esme was so keen for Edward to do it with you."

I ignored the pang in my heart as he said Edward's name. "I didn't do this skating."

"No?"

I shook my head.

Carlisle waited for me to tell him so, when I didn't, he asked, "How did you do it then?"

I scowled at the floor. "I punched Jacob."

Dr Cullen laughed and wound a bandage around the brace. "And why did you do that?"

I blushed, remembering Jacob's suggestions. "He said some things that were… inappropriate. And then he insulted… him."

The smile faded from Carlisle's face into an expression of intense concentration. He finished the bandage in silence and then sat down next to me. He sighed. "You know, Bella, it'll get better."

I bit down hard on my lip. "How do you know?" I looked up at his face. "He's not going to remember me, Carlisle. I spoke to him earlier and he… he couldn't get away fast enough."

Carlisle pursed his lips. "Edward's… very confused. Think about it, he's stepped into a life he can't remember."

"That's not true. He can remember everything except for me."

Dr Cullen hugged me slightly. "Bella, you were a massive part of his life. He was in love with you, I know he was. I don't know if that's what you wanted, but I could see something in him that I saw in myself when I met Esme so many years ago. Plus, you should see how his life revolves around you. Like a moon around a planet."

I swallowed hard. "Now he's a lost moon," I croaked. "Lost and invisible and far, far away."

"Not lost," Carlisle corrected, "just… temporarily covered up."

I blinked up at him through my watery eyes. "Like an eclipse?"

He nodded and smiled at me. "Yeah. Like a lunar eclipse."

I sighed. "Will he ever remember?"

Carlisle smiled. "Bella, I will be surprised if he doesn't. I'm not saying that he will, or that it won't be hard, or that it won't take a long time. But eventually, I'm sure that he'll see something that will remind him of you. Even if just a little."

"Will he… will he remember what happened that night?" I asked quietly, thinking of the way he had kissed me.

Dr Cullen's clear blue eyes narrowed slightly. "Why? Bella, did something important happen? Is there something we should know? Anything that can help us to get Edward's memory back would be brilliant.

I shook my head slowly but then I started to cry. Reluctantly, I nodded very slowly.

"What is it?" he asked me softly. His voice reminded me so much of his son's.

I swallowed hard. "He… he gave me this." I hesitantly reached into my top and drew out the necklace that I hadn't taken off, even when I went to bed.

Carlisle looked at the necklace for a long moment, and then he lifted his gaze and looked at me. I could see in his eyes that he knew what the jewellery represented. "You love him, don't you?"

I nodded as the tears started to come faster, and little sobs escaped from my mouth. "He told me… he promised forever," I whispered.

Carlisle pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"If I had just told him to stay…"

But he cut me off. "Don't you dare start blaming yourself. It was an accident."

I shook my head. "It wasn't!" I insisted. "It was me in the way of that bloody van! He took it instead of me." I sighed and stared blankly at the wall without seeing it. "I wish he hadn't…"

"Bella." He interrupted me again. "Look at me."

I looked up at his face.

"You are a wonderful, amazing, beautiful girl, and Edward still loves you. He just has to realise it himself first. You shouldn't take this on yourself; he wouldn't like it." Carlisle glanced at his watch then. "Now, I should get back to work; can't be accused of slacking."

"Sorry," I mumbled, blushing as I slid off of the hospital bed.

"It's fine. Have you got a lift home?"

"Jacob," I replied through gritted teeth, my hand going to ball in anger. I flinched.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Carlisle grinned at me. "Now, go home and rest that hand and take some Tylenol if it's too painful. Come back if it continues to hurt."

I nodded and turned for the door.

"And Bella?"

I looked back. "Yeah?"

"Try staying out of A&E for a while, yeah?"

I smiled slightly. "I'll try. See you later, Carlisle. And thank you."

"Anytime," he replied.

~FOM~

Jacob dropped me home as he had promised; thankfully in silence. He had asked about my hand when I returned to the waiting room and had taken my exasperated grunt as a confirmation that I was fine.

I went straight up to my bedroom when I got in, and fired up my computer. I signed into msn and looked at one of the only two people I hadn't blocked; the only two people I ever wanted to talk to on here. Of course he wasn't online.

She was though. A new window opened.

Lil Miss Alllyyy: Hey Bells :)

Belly-boo: Hey Al

Lil Miss Alllyyy: Belly-boo?

Belly-boo: Shit. Edward must have hacked me again. Hang on a sec

Belly-boo has changed her name to Bellaaa

Bellaaa: Better?

Lil Miss Alllyyy: Not greatly imaginative but I'll go with

Bellaaa: Huh. You're really one to talk.

Lil Miss Alllyyy: How are you? How was school? Dad just called; he said you were in the hospital. Are you okay? What did you do? What happened?

Bellaaa: Jeez, Al, one question at a time!

Lil Miss Alllyyy: Lol sorry. Start with the last few. The suspense is killing me!

Bellaaa: *rolls eyes* I'm always in A&E Al. Why are you so bothered?

Lil Miss Alllyyy: … I may or may not have made a bet with my brother when Dad called…

Bellaaa: ALICE!

Bellaaa: Wait… which brother?

Lil Miss Alllyyy: Emmett. Edward never participated before anyway. He said it wasn't fair blah blah blah. I did ask him but he scowled at me and holed himself in his room. That fucker's in a bad mood right now. You're lucky you don't have to put up with him.

I felt a tear slide down my face. I didn't care what mood he was in, I just wanted him back.

Lil Miss Alllyyy: Sorry, B. That was stupid. I'm sorry. I do have a plan. But I'll tell you it after you've answered my questions… *hint hint*

Bellaaa: *sigh* I punched Jacob and his jaw is harder than my hand.

Lil Miss Alllyyy: Whyyy? :S

Bellaaa: Because he was being a bastard. He said some stuff about Edward that made me angry.

Lil Miss Alllyyy: Ha remind me not to get on your bad side.

Bellaaa: So who won?

Lil Miss Alllyyy: Well, Emmett said that you'd tripped over your own feet and I said that you'd walked into something so… I don't know. Can u lie for me pls? There's $20 riding on this baby

Bellaaa: We'll see.

Lil Miss Alllyyy: Are u ok?

Bellaaa: … I dunno how to feel. I feel kinda… empty. Numb but… it's painful.

Lil Miss Alllyyy: Don't worry about a thing. I have a brilliant plan that can't fail

I hesitated; Alice's plans were often something to fear. Big time.

Bellaaa: What is it?

Lil Miss Alllyyy: Weeeeeelll… I am going to take you shopping and get u some nice new clothes etc and then I will make u look stunning everyday and Edward won't be able 2 take his eyes off of u

Bellaaa: I dunno Al… I don't need him to like me, just remember me

Lil Miss Alllyyy: There's more! Be patient young one!

Bellaaa: …

Lil Miss Alllyyy: Then when he's VERY attracted 2 u, he will ask u out. U guys spend time 2getha and he'll suddenly remember u! And if he doesn't… well, u'll get to date him won't u? Which, btw, u've wanted for aaaaaggess…

Bellaaa: But he's different Alice. He's not my Edward anymore.

Lil Miss Alllyyy: He's there. U might have to do some diggin to get him out from under the surface. I have to go now for dinner, B. But I'll come round 2morrow morning and talk this plan ova with u. I promise it'll be gr8

Bellaaa: Fine. C u then x

Lil Miss Alllyyy: yep x

Once Alice had gone, I signed out and sat back in my chair with a sigh. I scrolled back over the conversation, unsure of what to think of everything Alice had said.

Suddenly I was overcome with the desire to see him again. Just see him. Not necessarily talk to him. I tip-toed over to the window and unlocked it, climbing silently out and onto my veranda. Then I leant over the bar slightly and peered in through his window.

What I saw, though, made my heart sink.

He was in there, and he was pushing his furniture around. I watched as he pulled his bed away from the wall, where it mirrored mine, glaring angrily at the wall that split our bedrooms. He rammed it up against the opposite wall and pushed his wardrobe into the space where his bed had been.

With my heart in my stomach, I glanced back into my own room, expecting to see that that too had changed because our rooms couldn't possibly look different; hell, even the wallpaper was the same pattern and colour! But it hadn't changed. My bed was still pushed up against the wall, clinging to it. I swallowed back my tears and looked back into Edward's room.

He rubbed his hands on the back of his jeans and sighed. Then, he looked at the window, directly at me. I quickly ducked out of sight, praying to God that he thought that was imagining things. But I heard his footsteps come closer and the click that was the tell-tale sign of him opening his window.

Just as he was about to find me, I heard Esme call from inside. "Edward!" she yelled, sounding annoyed. "This is the third time I've called you! Come and help set the table now!"

I heard Edward hesitate and then he sighed, left the window open and retreated back inside. I smiled slightly, knowing that Esme wouldn't let death get in the way of helping out around the house. For once, I thanked her old-fashioned ways of running a family.

When I was certain that he was gone, I stood back up again on shaky legs. A breeze of wind blew through the trees and pulled goose pimples up on my forearms, making me shiver. I decided to glance into Edward's room quickly, but I instantly regretted it.

On the floor, was a photo frame that I hadn't noticed before. The glass was shattered and the photo inside torn. It looked like he had thrown it at something. I desperately wanted to know what the photo was of, but I was too far away.

So I glanced at the door of his room, which was ajar, and climbed carefully onto his veranda before sneaking through the window he had left open. Once I was inside, I bent down and picked up the photo, my heart splitting in two when I saw that it was a three-way photo. One of him, one of me and one of both of us.

I gasped quietly, and bent down to put the photo back as I found it, wishing that I hadn't bothered. Was I a masochist or something?

Suddenly, the door squeaked open.

I looked up to see Edward in the doorway.

"Shit," I squeaked.

He quirked an eyebrow, not seeming angry, and for a second – just a split second – I wondered if he remembered me. But then he said quietly, "Do I really mean so much to you?"

I blinked at him. "Everything," I whispered, looking back down at the floor. "You mean everything to me."

Edward sighed. Then he came to my side and, to my intense surprise, swept me into a huge hug.

I revelled in the feeling of being held by him again. His strong arms around me, his sweet scent all over me and his amazing abs pressed against my body. I knotted my hands at the small of his back and hugged him back for a long moment.

"Edward Anthony Cullen!" Esme shrieked from downstairs.

"I'm coming!" he yelled back, making me jump slightly.

I bit my lip and looked away, back at the window.

Edward caught my chin and turned my face to look back at him. His eyes narrowed slightly.

Suddenly, an idea came to me. Without even stopping to think it over, I stood on my toes and reached up to press my lips briefly to his.

It didn't work. He pushed me off of him and stared at me. "What the fuck?"

I couldn't stop another tear from spilling over. "You're not even trying!" I accused him angrily. "You're not even trying to remember anything!"

"You want me dead!" he shot back.

I gaped at him; how did he know what I had told Jacob earlier? "What?"

Edward shook his head angrily, a sarcastic smirk I knew well plastered on his lips. "You're a two-faced little bitch, you know that?"

My face flushed red in anger. I hit his chest when words failed me, where I knew that it didn't hurt him.

Edward just laughed at me. "You know, Isabella, you're gonna fucking hate me by the time this week is out."

I doubted that, but I stuck my chin in the air in defiance. "Not if I already do."

He raised both of his eyebrows. "Whatever," he muttered, and then he turned and headed for the door. He turned back just before he disappeared. "Oh, and get out of my room. If you have any common sense, you won't sneak through my window again." Then he pulled the door shut behind him.

Once he was gone, I dissolved into a puddle of tears and climbed into his bed.

Who was this new Edward? And why on earth did he suddenly hate me so much?

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

Awwww :( That wasn't in the plan tbh… but hell we'll go with it :L

Now, I promised H.L. Pennington that I'd post this yesterday for her birthday but I didn't realise that it was a Thursday and I go out on Thursdays so I didn't have it finished. So happy belated birthday H.L.! Same day as Rob, huh? (oh yeah happy bday to RPatz too :L)

I hope that you liked this chapter :D I didn't really like it too much as I got stuck in a fair few places but ce sera sera, it's not awful. I won't be holding a grudge against it :L

ARGH! Did you guys SEE the Oprah show? That clip! Pissed Edward is H.O.T. :L If you haven't seen it, then youtube it. It's AMAZING. And Kristen and Rob are so sweet :) "She's pregnant" :L Bless I think they're all such nice people :) I mean going round people's houses? Wowww I'm jealous :S

Okay, I have good news, bad news, even worse news and then some more good news :L I'll tell you it in that order.

Good news: I finished school today! Forever! So I have loads of time BUT the bad news is that I have to go back in for exams :( So while I practically start summer now… I don't. Because I have to revise for all of my exams and then do said exams. So basically updates will probably be LESS frequent.

The even worse news is that I'm going on a long weekend holiday til Wednesday seeing family up North. So there will probably not be another update for a week, or maybe longer. On any stories. (yes, sorry VTN readers. I know I promised an update today but I haven't got the next chapter done yet :S sorry)

But then the other good news is that I plan on posting the first chapter of the Mason story some time next week, or maybe the week after :D So all of you THWTLAL readers do not have to wait much longer now :)

So. To summarise, basically I have no idea when updates will be from now on. I will post as frequently as I can without flunking my exams :L

But please review anyway? :)

Thank you so much guys :D

Steph