FIRST BORN

1872:

There was a rhythmic thunk coming from the other side of the barn as the rider approached. He dismounted, then led his horse by the reins towards the source of the noise. As he rounded the corner, he caught sight of a man in a sheepskin coat chopping wood, his axe neatly cleaving each piece in two after he set it upon the stump. His back was to the rider, who opened his mouth to call a greeting, but before he could, a big gray wolf jumped up from its resting place alongside the barn wall and started growling at him.

"Dammit, Ironjaws, whut's yer problem?" Jonah Hex snapped as he sunk the blade of his axe into the stump, then turned around and touched a finger to the brim of his Confederate officer's hat. "How-do, Jimmy...thought Ah heard somebody ride up."

The rider nodded. "Afternoon, Mr. Hex. I just..." The words dried up in his mouth when he saw the wolf was still advancing. "Um, could you..."

Jonah let out a sharp whistle, and Ironjaws padded over to its master's side. "Jimmy's a friend, yuh big dope," he said to the animal, kneeling down and grabbing it by the scruff of the neck, "Man ain't never done me a bit of harm, so don't yuh go an' act like thet 'round him." He then looked up at Jimmy and said, "Now, y'all just stoppin' by tuh be sociable, or do yuh got some sort of business with me?"

"That'd be the latter." He reached into his coat and pulled out a small envelope. "Telegram came in for you today. I haven't seen you in town since your wife had the baby, so I figured I'd run it out here for you."

"Thet was right kind of yuh." Jonah stood back up and took the envelope. "Reckon Ah should give yuh something fer the trouble."

"No trouble, Mr. Hex, and no charge. It was my choice to come out here."

"Well, y'all should at least step inside fer a cup of coffee an' a spell by the fire. Ain't as cold today as it's been, but it's fer sure thet winter ain't over yet."

Jimmy gave him a broad grin. "Okay, you talked me into it. One cup, then I've gotta get back to town, otherwise Justin will think I knocked off early today."

Leaving the animals behind, the two men followed the well-trod path through the snow between the barn and the house. "Mei Ling, we've got company!" Jonah called out as he opened the front door. "Jimmy from the telegraph office decided tuh drop by."

"Hello, Jimmy. It's good to see you." Mei Ling was sitting in a rocker near the fireplace with a blanket laid across her lap and three-week-old Jason cradled in her arms.

"Good to see you too, ma'am," he replied as he removed his hat. "Some of the folks around town have been worried about you and the baby, what with him coming early and all, but you both look like you're doing fine to me."

"We're both doing very well, thank you. I still feel a little pain sometimes, but it's getting better every day." As if to prove it, she slowly got up from the rocker.

"Now, Mei Ling, yuh shouldn't be gettin' up if'n yuh don't have tuh." Jonah was over by the cast-iron stove, pouring coffee for himself and their guest. "Ah know the doc said it's fine fer y'all tuh be movin' around again, but Ah don't..."

"Standing up for a while won't do me any harm," she told her husband, then smiled at Jimmy. "Jonah has barely let me lift a finger since the baby came. He's even been trying to wash clothes."

"You mean to tell me that Jonah Hex has become fully domesticated?" Jimmy asked with a laugh.

The former bounty hunter walked over and handed the man a tin cup. "Drink yer damn coffee," he grumbled, then stood beside the fireplace. As Mei Ling and Jimmy continued to chat about the new baby and the goings-on back in town, Jonah took a few sips from his own cup, then opened the envelope and read the telegram:

Though the reasons for your absence are plain, never let it be said that I hold

any ill will towards you, nor towards your new family, about which I just learned.

The Lord has seen fit to grant you reprieve from all the sorrows He once laid

upon you, and if you will permit me, I only wish to add my blessings to the ones

you've already been given.

- T.B.

The coffee Jonah had poured for himself slowly grew cold as he stood there, his face blank but his eyes fixed upon the telegram. When Jimmy had finished his share and bid the Hexes farewell, Jonah didn't even look up. It wasn't until Mei Ling came over and touched his arm that Jonah seemed to become aware of the world around him again. "Who's the telegram from?" she asked him.

"Nobody." He crumpled it before she could read anything, then tossed it into the fire. "It ain't important."

"It must be important to some degree. Even Jimmy thought so, since he rode all the way out here to deliver it."

"Maybe Jimmy ain't so all-fired smart as he looks." He drank from his cup, made a face, and set it on the mantel.

"Jonah, if something's wrong..."

"Dammit, woman, why the Hell do yuh have tuh keep buttin' yer nose in where it ain't wanted?" he yelled. "If'n Ah say something ain't important, then it ain't, an' thet should be a good enough answer fer yuh!"

Mei Ling flinched at his harsh tone and hugged little Jason, who began to wail from all the noise. "Oh, look what you did," she said, turning away from Jonah. "You scared the baby."

"Ah wasn't tryin' tuh, Ah just..." He reached out for her, then let his hand fall to his side as she moved further away, speaking softly to their infant son all the while. "Ah've got some things tuh finish outside," he said in a quieter voice, and went back out into the yard.

The rest of the day was rather sedate, with Jonah keeping himself busy out by the barn until suppertime. There was some small talk passed between him and Mei Ling as they ate, but the subject of Jonah's previous outburst was never brought up. He could tell that she hadn't forgiven him for it, but he also made no move to apologize, because that meant possibly telling her why he'd gotten so riled up in the first place. So he kept mum, even as they prepared for bed and Mei Ling only gave him the briefest of kisses before lying down.

Years of living by the gun meant that Jonah Hex never fully slept: one ear was always attuned to the world around him, listening for anything that didn't fit the nocturnal lull. Unfortunately, what had once been an ability that had saved his life on countless occasions was now a hindrance, as it meant he could hear every cough and cry his son made over the course of the night. And this night was no different, with the baby starting to mewl out of nowhere a few hours after they'd turned in. Jonah laid there, listening and waiting to see if the baby would stop on his own as he sometimes did, but then the mewling grew higher in pitch, meaning that it would soon turn into a full blown wail. We ain't havin' thet, Jonah thought, and eased himself out of bed.

The cradle sat in the corner of the bedroom, and Jonah bent over it to scoop up his son. "Whut's the fuss about, little man?" he whispered, patting the baby's diapered bottom. "Yer powder's dry...hungry, maybe?" He brushed the tip of his little finger against Jason's lip, but the baby didn't try to suckle. "Nope, not hungry." He glanced at Mei Ling's still-sleeping form. "Well, if'n yo're not gonna hush up, then let's skedaddle afore yuh wake up yer ma."

Wrapping a blanket around the baby, Jonah carried him into the front room. Embers were still glowing in the fireplace, and Ironjaws was stretched out in front of it to take advantage of the waning warmth. The wolf lifted its head as its longjohn-clad master knelt down to throw a few logs on. "Don't mind us," Jonah said, poking the embers until the fire came back to life. Ironjaws decided not to, and settled back down just as Jonah settled into the rocker. All the motion seemed to calm the baby, whose cries became fewer, and he relaxed in the crook of his father's arm. "Thet's better," Jonah said. "Y'all ain't no reason tuh be fussin' like thet."

Little Jason looked up at him, the light from the fire bringing a shine to his blue eyes.

"Okay, maybe yuh got a bit of a reason, whut with how Ah was yellin' at yer ma today. Weren't nothin' personal, mind yuh, Ah just didn't want tuh tell her 'bout something. Still don't." He shifted about in the rocker. "There's only two people in the world thet know the whole truth of it all, an' yo're lookin' at one of 'em. Call me stubborn, but thet's the way Ah'd like tuh keep it."

The baby gurgled and kicked his legs like he was swimming.

"It ain't a pretty story, believe me," Jonah continued, "but Ah reckon if anybody's got a right tuh hear it, y'all do, seein' as how it does concern yuh, in a way. Just don't tell yer ma."

Gently pushing the rocker back and forth, he said, "It all started a couple years after the War...Ah ain't gonna explain 'bout thet right now 'cause it ain't important tuh this, 'cept tuh say thet things was still kind of a mess down South because of it. Anyways, there was this group of fellas goin' 'round securin' land fer the Federal government, only they weren't too scrupulous in how they did it. One day, they came across a family thet wouldn't give up their homeplace, so they set tuh slaughterin' the whole lot of 'em. Every last man, woman an' child in thet family died by their hands...'cept fer one.

"Tallulah Black, thet was her name. A woman with a fire in her belly them skunks couldn't put out. They did their best tuh try, though: blasted out one of her eyes, raped her, carved up her woman-parts...if'n anybody in this world ever had the right tuh just give up an' die, Tallulah did. But she refused tuh do so, an' instead swore on the blood of her kin tuh kill every last one of 'em fer whut they did. An' thet's where Ah come in. She'd gotten wind of me from somewheres, 'bout how Ah could be just as ruthless as them fellas she was after. When she found me an' told me her troubles, Ah thought she wanted tuh hire me tuh do the deed, but it turned out she wanted me tuh teach her, so's she could do it herself.

"Like Ah said, she had a fire in her belly, an' Ah could smell the blaze the moment Ah saw her. Ah had thet same fire burnin' in muhself, y'see, so Ah knew she'd go on her vengeance trail with or without muh help. Least Ah could do was tip the odds in her favor. So Ah taught her. She took tuh the gun like a duck tuh water: real steady hand, never complained, never flinched. Fer three months, Ah put her through every test Ah could think of, an' she aced 'em all. At some point durin' them three months...reckon thet's when Ah fell in love with her."

Jonah sighed and shook his head. "Mind yuh, Ah didn't love her the same way Ah love yer ma. Mei Ling's a delicate little thing, somebody yuh want tuh hold close an' protect from all the evil in the world, while Tallulah...she was a hellcat, through an' through, with a mouth thet could be sweet an' venomous all at the same time. Ain't easy tuh love a gal like thet, but Ah reckon Ah did 'cause she was so much like muhself. Why the Lord decided tuh inflict the world with two people like thet, Ah'll never know. He did, though, an' He saw fit tuh partner us up so's Ah could help Tallulah get her vengeance, which she did right proper. An' once thet was done...Ah left her."

The baby made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a hiccup.

"Ah know it don't make no sense, walkin' away from somebody yuh love, but up 'til thet point in muh life, everybody Ah'd loved had been taken from me, sometimes in right nasty ways. Tallulah was tough, yeah, but thet didn't mean Ah couldn't lose her just like the rest, so in muh mind, the best thing Ah could do was break it off with her afore anything awful happened. Of course, the Lord gets funny ideas sometimes, an' He must've looked down on us an' thought, 'Nope, Ah cain't let it end thet easy,' so he done made sure thet we'd cross paths again. Only the next time, Ah was the one who'd had horrors set upon 'em, an' Tallulah came tuh me in muh hour of need." Jonah paused, a hint of a smile coming to his face. "Said she was muh guardian angel. Ain't thet a hoot? There Ah was, wadin' straight into the devil's den, an' she don't even hesitate tuh follow. Woman was plumb crazy, doin' thet, but it only made me love her more.

"Weren't no shakin' her after thet. Me an' her, we was a force tuh be reckoned with. Hell, us just walkin' into a place was enough tuh scare the piss outta some folks. Didn't make no dif'rence tuh us, we was havin' the time of our lives. Never met nobody thet could keep up with me like she could, be it drinkin' or fightin' or...well, let's just say she weren't shy 'bout certain matters." He cleared his throat, then said, "It went on like thet fer a good long while, just the two of us against every no-account skunk the West could throw at us, then one day, she up an' left. No warnin', no note, just rode off afore sunrise. Didn't make much sense tuh me at the time, but since Ah'd done it tuh her not long back, Ah figured she was entitled tuh do the same. 'Sides, if'n it was meant tuh be, then our paths would cross again. An' sure enough, Ah found her months later.

"Nine months later, tuh be exact."

The rocker slowed to a stop, and Jonah fell silent for a few minutes. Then he swallowed hard and said, "Ah'd tracked some fellas Ah was after tuh this little podunk. They was tearin' the place up, an' Ah was figurin' on sneakin' right up an' cuttin' 'em down afore things got too outta hand. But then ah hear a scream, an' even though Ah'd never heard her make such a ruckus afore, Ah knew in muh gut it was Tallulah. Ah found her, an'...there was blood everywhere, an' her belly had been...Ah kind of lost muh head at the sight of it, forgot all about the fellas Ah was after. Ah spirited her away from thet place, an' when she'd recovered a bit, she told me. About the baby. Our baby. Thet's why she'd left, 'cause she'd realized she was pregnant, and she'd thought...after all we'd been through, she thought Ah wouldn't want it. Truth tuh tell, Ah don't know how Ah would've reacted if'n she'd told me outright instead of runnin' - Hell, Ah didn't even think she could get pregnant, after whut'd been done tuh her - but Ah like tuh think thet Ah wouldn't have been as cold tuh the idea as Tallulah imagined. But Ah'll never know fer sure, 'cause she never gave me the chance.

"Wish Ah could say thet's the worst part of the tale, but it ain't. Worst part is why she'd been screamin' so. In thet little podunk Tallulah had holed up in, there'd been this woman, a Bible-thumper named Abigail. A mite touched in the head, she was, an' when all them fellas Ah'd been after rode into town wreakin' havoc, she done got the notion thet the Judgment Day had come, an' Tallulah...she thought Tallulah was havin' the Devil's baby. So she cut it outta her...stole it. By the time Ah'd tracked down...thet bitch..."

The muscles in Jonah's jaw clenched tight as the memories bled through his mind like fresh wounds: first of Abigail spouting off about righteous vengeance even as he took out his own brand of vengeance upon her, then of a tiny body laying so still within a knitted blanket. The second memory was the one that always shook him to the core, just knowing that he'd gained and lost a child - a daughter - in the blink of an eye. He could still feel the weight of her body in his hands as he picked her up, clutching her to his chest and shocking himself with the sobs that suddenly began coming from his throat. He couldn't remember how long he'd stayed like that, holding her tight while he cursed God and Abigail and Tallulah and anyone else he could think of that might be remotely responsible for the death of this innocent child. Most of all, loudest of all, he cursed himself and his weakness, for had he never laid with Tallulah, this child would have never been conceived, never suffered during her brief moments of existence, never borne the punishment for her father's sins...

Then he heard an infant's cry, and he looked down to see that he was pressing little Jason's body tightly against his chest. Jonah relaxed his grip, smoothing the baby's hair back from his pinched face. His son's hair was red, like his own, and he remembered how his daughter's head had been crowned with dark-brown locks from her mother. Both had inherited Jonah's clear blue eyes, though. "Ah'm sorry," he whispered, "but now yuh see why Ah don't want tuh tell yer ma 'bout all this."

Ironjaws looked up at them until the baby's cries began to subside down to a sniffle, then set its furry head back onto its paws.

Setting the rocker back into motion, Jonah told his son, "As yuh kin imagine, things weren't the same between Tallulah an' me after thet. Most of the love Ah had fer her died along with thet baby, so Ah left her, one last time...thet telegram today was the first Ah've heard from her since then. Frankly, Ah could've done without it: Ah've had more'n enough reminders of whut could've been ever since yer ma told me she had yuh in her belly." He frowned a little. "Ah tried not tuh let on, but Mei Ling scared the piss outta me every time she said she wanted a girl. Ah don't think Ah would've felt right 'bout it, had y'all been a girl instead of a boy. It would be like her ghost was still hangin' around.

"Reckon it might've been nice fer yuh, though, had she lived. Ah didn't have no siblings growin' up, but Ah imagine thet things might've been a bit dif'rent fer me if'n Ah'd had one. Maybe not so rough." His eyes wandered away for a moment, then he said, "Ain't no sense in wishin' fer things like thet. Maybe later on, me an' yer ma will give yuh a sister, but it won't be her. She's gone, an' thet's it. Still...yuh have the right tuh know thet yuh weren't muh first child." Jonah sat the baby upon his knee. "Yo're muh first little boy, though, an' Ah love yuh just as dearly as Ah love yer ma. Don't ever forget thet. An' so long as Ah still draw breath, Ah'll never let any harm come tuh y'all. Ah'll never lay a hand on yuh, neither, not like muh pa did with me. Ah'm gonna do muh level best tuh be the sort of father thet Ah wish Ah'd had, but in return, yo're gonna have tuh do some things fer me."

Pointing a finger at his son, Jonah said, "Never cross me. Never lie, or steal, or bend fer favor. Never betray a trust. Never inflict pain deliberately unless the situation warrants it. An' most important, never set me as yer example, 'cause even though Ah've only broken a couple of them rules, Ah broke 'em in right awful ways, an' Ah don't want y'all tuh make the same mistakes in life thet Ah did."

As if in reply, little Jason reached out and took hold of his father's finger, giving him a toothless grin all the while. "Reckon thet's as good as a handshake," Jonah said with a grin of his own. "Come on, little man, Ah think it's time we got back tuh bed." He cradled the baby in his arms again and stood up, but as he began to make his way down the hall, the baby started to fuss and mewl the same as before. "Whut? Y'all want tuh sit up a mite longer?" Jonah turned around and went back to the rocker - the closer he got, the quieter the baby seemed to become. "Okay...won't hurt us none if'n we spend some more time out here," he said as he sat down again. "When yo're ready tuh leave, yuh just let me know." He laid the baby against his chest and leaned back, stifling a yawn as he did so.

And that was how Mei Ling found them the next morning: father and son, sleeping in the rocker as slim beams of sunlight snuck in through the cracks in the shutters.