Hello, readers. Yes, this is an … author's note? Is that what you call them? Oh, yes, Tony is nodding at me. Excellent. I got something right. Well, as you can tell, Kat is NOT here right now. No…actually, she has ordered Gibbs to order us to tell you all why there is not a chapter thirteen. And you know how he gets. So, before he comes back with coffee (that he does not drink…have any of you noticed that?) and yells at us for not telling you …
Kat is very superstitious. Although she is Roman Catholic and believes in God, she also believes that the number thirteen is bad luck. So, as she could tell she would be having problems writing chapter thirteen, she has decided to put in a lovely little insert and then direct you all to chapter fourteen. Excellent, right? Yes. We thought so. That is, Tony and I.
So, to waste your time, she has also told Gibbs she wants me to entertain you. So … I will do my best.
Today, Tony and I went shoe shopping. The moment we got home, he stepped in nice big pile of—
"Cow manure," he says, crinkling his nose. "How do I manage to step in shi—"
Watch your language, Anthony DiNozzo, or I will cleanly remove your tongue from your mouth.
"Rawr, tiger." Tony picks up his shoe from the floor and grimaces. The Italian leather, shining brilliantly, but caked with manure on the bottom. He lets out a whimper and cries, "Cow!"
So, without further ado, I hope you all have enjoyed reading thus far, and I have some secrets for you. They are not spoilers. I do not believe in them. But.
Here is what we know so far.
+Tony and I are Ana and David Stadelvard, two newlyweds who are expecting.
+We now live on a farm in Canandaigua, New York.
+We met a … sketchy? Yes, sketchy man from down the street, named Buck.
+Buck is missing.
+Tony likes Reuben sandwiches.
+And Strawberry Chiffon Pie. [Kat's mum just made that at the restaurant, by the way, and she ate it everyday for lunch with tea.]
+And possibly, me.
+I am having flashbacks from my time in Somalia.
+It is interfering with daily life.
+And, quite possibly, my…friendship with Tony.
+And making me reconsider my feelings for him.
+We pretended to make love. [This is Tony. Maybe we were pretending, maybe we weren't. Over and out.]
So, what is coming? Gardens, roses, and rings.
"These are a few of my favourite things…" Tony hums, cleaning his shoe. "Pugh, but not manure. Yech!"
Nice, Tony, just lovely.
Well, now that I have succeeded in wasting your time…
Have a fantastic day.
Love,
Tony and Ziva.
PS: NOT TOGETHER. -Z
PSS: Don't count anything out. ;) -T
PSSS: TONY. Don't listen to him. -Z
PSSSS: Zeev, don't be so serious. Smile more. It suits you. -T
PSSSSS: Do not push me, Tony. Goodbye, faithful readers. -Z
::hits save button::