I've always been obsessed with death.

I've always been gothic.

I've never been obsessed with dying.

Now that death has actually reached me, I don't want it anymore.

I wonder if that is why I was so hated.

Because I was gothic, or because I was a freak.

I wish I wasn't a freak.

I wish I was normal.

I wish I had normal parents.

Parents who loved me.

Parents who didn't hurt me.

I guess I'll never have that though.

I wonder if anyone does.

I wish Jocks didn't hate us so much.

I wish Jocks didn't hate me so much.

I wish they didn't throw me into a dumpster.

I wish they didn't shut the lid.

Did they know its garbage day?

Did it even register to them that school has ended.

Do they know no one can hear me screaming for help?

I wonder if they even realized that the garbage truck will crush me.

Maybe they didn't.

But they probably did.

I've always been a crier.

Which is why I'm so confused that I'm not crying.

Artie.

Will you cry for me?

I'm sorry I didn't get to be with you.

I'm sorry I broke your heart.

My heart was always yours though.

I just thought you should know that I would of stuck by you.

If you would of tried the therapys for your legs.

I would of stuck by you.

Matt.

I wish I had something to say.

I wish I had something meaningful to think about.

But I don't.

So I'm sorry.

I can hear the garbage truck approaching.

Will they be horrified when they find my body?

Will they ever find my body?

Rachel.

Do you remember the phase?

The phase when football players would spray paint your locker.

They wrote freak on your locker. Everyday.

How did you manage not to break.

But I guess you did.

I guess you did break.

Or the football players broke you.

Or I broke you.

Or you broke yourself.

I'm sorry I didn't scrape off the paint.

I'm sorry I didn't help you.

I think you broke yourself.

I didn't force you to get in the bath tub.

I didn't force you to breathe in water.

I didn't force you to die.

You did that all on your own.

I guess I've always been on my own.

The garbage truck is picking the dumpster up.

Sending me spiraling.

I'm crying now.

At all I've lost.

At all the things I'll never get to do.

At the one person I never got to love.

Glee Club is over.

Now that I'm gone.

They won't have enough members.

I ruined Rachel.

I ruined Artie.

I ruined Glee Club.

I ruined myself.

Hey Guys NOTICE: Anyone recognize the First three lines.

The first Person to tell me what the first three lines from this chapter are from gets a shout out.

NOTICE: I will do Jesse next, I'm NOT DOING SAM UNTIL I KNOW MORE ABOUT HIS CHARACTER, thenI will do a couple of different Rachels she will die different way. Then I will create a DIFFERENT story on the adults of this chapter Emma, Will, Terri, Ken, AND SUE SYLVESTER

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