This is sort of a follow up for Katana. It's the same verse anyway. I'm taking a break from Fan Fiction to work on my own novel, so this may or not be my last fic for a while. We'll see.

Dusk

My Dearest TenTen,

I think you know what it means if you're reading this. You've seen me write these before every mission, and burn them afterwards. You've asked, and I always told you not to worry. That it was just something I had to do.

They don't contain any great secret. No confidential clan information that I want you to know, or anything like that. It's just me, trying to tell you, everything I couldn't find the words to do before. Because when I meet my father, I want to do it without regrets.

Trembling, trembling. It was hard to read the words when the paper shook so badly.

This wasn't happening. It wasn't real. Neji had promised it would only be a few days.

Lee had been nearly killed getting the information for this mission, and unable to finish. Someone, she still didn't know who, had suggested that Neji take up where their teammate had left off. That he leave behind his eight month pregnant wife for a week to complete the assignment and keep Team Guy's perfect record.

"I'll be back before you can even miss me, I promise."

"Neji, don't go." She clung to him, digging her fingers like claws into his flax jacket. "Please. Tell them your sick, that I'm sick, but don't go. I have a sick feeling about this. Like this is the last time I…don't go."

"I'm a ninja of the leaf. I have to."

You never believe me when I say I love you. I can see the doubt in your eyes before you smile. You don't think it's possible for anyone to love you.

All you see is a silly little girl with no family to call her own. One with red hair and the temper to match it. With eyes the color of dirt, who stumbles over her own words, who is awkward and pushy. You see a girl who manipulates people to get what she wants, who insults without hesitation and causes trouble for those she loves.

But that's not what I see.

Was she supposed to cry? Laugh? Both, maybe, like some crazy person? She didn't really feel like either. She didn't feel anything at all.

Her arms had been suddenly empty as he pulled away, stepping off the porch into the rain.

She felt sick, weak, and dizzy as he turned away. She wanted to fight for him, aching to hold him to her chest and not allow him up again. It was empty, and cold, and she was small and powerless to fight against the tide that was pulling her down too fast. "Neji! Neji, please!"

He didn't turn around, didn't even hesitate, and the overwhelming thought that she would not get another chance to see those pale eyes she loved so much sent her to her knees.

When I look at you, my wife, I see a woman like no one else. The kind of woman the world needs more of.

I see someone who will stand and fight for what she believes, no matter what lies down that road. A woman who loves to deeply, too much, for human understanding. You feel everything with all your soul, because you know no other way to do so. Give all and take nothing.

I see a woman that would lay her life down for anyone, even her enemy, simply because they are human, and deserve that much. A defender and protector.

My free bird, who laughs daily at the things that try and hold her down.

Was she spinning? The world certainly was. All the blood must have drained out the hole in her heart, because it wasn't anywhere else.

The promise week turned into two. Then three.

She tried to busy herself preparing for the baby, but she could only rearrange the clothing so many times. Neji was so sure it was going to be a little girl, but secretly TenTen hoped for a boy. One that was like his daddy, with a quiet gentle spirit and thoughtful eyes. She wanted to name him Hizashi, after his grandfather.

She wasn't sure how Neji would feel about that, and he wasn't here to ask.

That's when there had been the knock on the door.

I've told you before all the reasons I love you. For your compassion and sincerity. For your loyalty, your laughter, your bright shining love. You, and you alone, were the key to my cage. You taught me that I could change who I was and what happened to me. That I didn't have to accept what was, and had the responsibility to change what I thought was unfair.

I believed for so long that saying I didn't believe in fate, and making myself accept what was without trying was not the same as what I had been doing before. You showed me that it wasn't enough. That I had to do something, that I could. And I did, because you believed.

There was a haze over her vision. She couldn't read the words anymore, but she knew them. She knew what they were.

"Lee?" Her childhood friend was soaking from the December rain, but his eyes were red rimmed from tears. His shoulders still shook with suppressed sobs. The strength to stand fled, and she had to lean on the door for support. "What happened? Where's Neji?"

His hands were shaking so hard it was amazing the paper didn't tear as he held out an envelope addressed to her. "Tsunade said that…that his teammate brought this back with him when…no one else…God, TenTen, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I wanted to be there with you when our little girl came. I know she'll be beautiful and strong, like you. I know you'll raise her well. Whatever you think, you believe, I know you're going to be the best the mother the world has ever seen.

Having a family with you was my greatest dream, TenTen. I wanted so badly to be the kind of father mine never had the chance to be.

Since you're reading this, I guess I didn't either.

I just ask one thing of you. Don't let her forget that her daddy loved her, though he didn't have the chance to know her. And please, don't you forget that I loved you. I will always love you.

My minx. My freebird. My wife. My—

Darkness. Inside and outside. The world was upside down and she was falling up.

"TenTen? TenTen!"

TenTen.