The clock read five in the morning.

At some other time I would have found it impossible to have woken up at that time. But damn, there were so many things going through my head all of last night.

After some more time of weeping Edward and I finally composed ourselves and we went to go check in to a hotel. We didn't say anything to each other until it was time to go to sleep. As usual we both crawled into the same bad but this time it was different. As soon as I got into bed Edward snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me close to his side, holding me in a protective manner that made me feel safe from everything, even from my disease.

"Good night" I whispered into his chest.

"I'll see you tomorrow" he whispered but it sounded like he was trying to convince himself of that rather than me.

"Of course you will Edward" I murmured looking up; I stroked his soft hair attempting to reassure him. "Of course you're going to see me tomorrow and trust me when you see me my eyes will be open"

A small sad smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and he looked down at me.

"Sleep now April; it's been an exhausting day"

"It has" I said and as if to prove my point a huge yawn overtook me.

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head.

"Goodnight" he murmured against my hair.

I remember falling asleep instantly.

It wasn't long before I awoke; there was too much going around in my head so that it was impossible for me to rest.

The more I thought about it the more it seemed to me that telling him had been a mistake.

He would be too protective of me, heaven knows if he will let me have fun at all.

I didn't regret telling him, no because it was good to finally get that weight off my shoulders. I just thought it had been a bad idea to tell him so soon.

I had managed to scoot back a little from his grasp so that I could look properly at his face.

He was so at peace while he slept. His unruly hair fell on his forehead, his dark eyelashes brushed his cheekbones, and his usually pale cheeks were slightly pink. A slight smile was set upon his beautiful lips…

My eyes lingered there for some time. They looked so inviting…

Funny I had never been remotely interested in kissing. I'm not kidding when I say I thought it was kinda gross. Maybe it was because I often saw my brother sucking face with his girlfriend. A shudder passed through me at the thought. I actually for some time thought there was something wrong with me for not being attracted to guys in that way, I mean I had a boyfriend once but that was when I was in third grade and still had faint beliefs of guys having cooties. Besides he became my boyfriend on a bet, I never really liked him. For some time I even wondered if I played for the other team. Soon though I just realized that I would know when the time came and I troubled myself no longer with those thoughts.

But being here in this bed with Edward I was assured that I was one hundred percent straight.

Hell yeah I was attracted to Edward Cullen, I wont deny it. For god's sake I was seventeen years old and I was barely developing my first crush. I really was and unusual kid.

And for the first time in my life I pictured myself kissing him and the idea didn't sound so gross. I actually wished I could kiss him, that would be asking for too much though.

He let out a content sigh. I smiled at that, gently I pulled my arm up and brushed away the hair that had fallen on his forehead.

His face twitched slightly and slowly his eyes revealed themselves to me.

I would miss seeing him wake up like this.

"Morning" I said gently, he smiled back and stretched his muscles. I surprised him by closing the space between us and wrapping my arms around his waist.

I learned something about myself that day. When it came to crushes I was definitely not shy. So that just meant I wasn't shy about anything at all.

He wrapped his arms around me as well.

"This is nice" he said and hummed in content.

"It really is, sorry for waking you" I placed my cheek on his chest and I could hear the unsteady beating of his heart, it mimicked the beats of my own and it made me wonder if he felt that tickling inside his stomach too.

"It's fine, you'll pay for it later"

"I'm so scared" I taunted.

He laughed silently. "So Ms. Summers what shall we do today?"

"I don't know" I said sitting up and pursing my lips. "What are your opinions on camping?"

"I'm always camping with my family, sounds good" he said sitting up too.

"I went once and I hated it. Something bit my ass"

"So…" his face turned red as he tried to keep from laughing.

"Go on laugh" I said blankly.

He let out a huge breath and laughed nonstop.

I sighed and got a pillow, he didn't see it coming when I put it over his face. His laughter was muffled and soon he would be gasping for air.

"Breathe" I cooed in his ear. "Calm down"

His laughter quieted down and my grip on the pillow loosened. As soon as he figured this out he flipped us so that he hovered over me. I felt his fingers at my side and I squirmed and laughed uncontrollably.

"Please!" I said in between laughs. "I- I- argh!"

"You what?" he said over my pleads.

"PEE!" I shouted and he let go of me. I made a dash for the bathroom and took care of my business. I could hear him laughing; I must have looked funny to him.

To save myself time I decided to shower. I was already halfway done when Edward knocked on the door.

"What?" I called.

"Hey I have your clothes want me to leave them here?"

"Close your eyes Cullen" I said.

"Oh don't worry, remember I promised to be a gentleman"

I chuckled. "Alright then."

I watched through the door of the bathtub as he entered with his head down.

I couldn't help but blush in embarrassment even though he quickly got in left my clothes and dashed out.

"Thanks!" I called after I regained control.

"Let me get this straight" I said as we left the airport. "We were in California the day before yesterday and then we fly over to New York only to go back to California the next day?"

"I know were retards aren't we?" he grinned.

"I'll say"

Edward decided he wanted to come back because he wanted to camp in the Malibu creek state park. He wanted to check it out he said. And I not having any other suggestions accepted.

We wasted no time and we went to get what we would need for camping and we rented another car.

Now we were currently in the car on our way to the state park while I held two ice cream cones. One was Edwards and the other mines.

Everything was normal between us for which I was grateful. I would have thought that after my revelations things would have been different between us. I was glad to see that that was not the case.

"Hey you" Edward called; I turned to look at him. My god he looked good in sunglasses. "Do you mind? My ice cream is melting here"

"Oh sorry" I brought up his ice cream just as we hit a bump. The ice cream smashed into his face.

We both dissolved into laughter and he had to stop the car before we crashed.

"Here" I said though my laughter and I began to clean his face.

"You can lick it if you want" he said

"Eew" I giggled.

"Just a thought, don't wanna let all that ice cream got to waste do we?"

"Shut up" I snickered

"Fine" he murmured. His ray bans were stained with ice cream. My heart picked up speed as I removed them to clean them. When I took them off his eyes I was surprised to see him staring intently at me. My stomach lurched.

"Dirty boy" I scolded playfully. He smiled at me and watched me clean them.

"Oh no April don't bother with cleaning them I'll do that thank you" I said in best Edward impersonation.

"Oh no Edward it's alright I'll do it because you can't do it right" he replied in what I think was supposed to be my voice.

"I don't sound like that" I said feigning offense.

"Well you didn't do a very good join with my voice either"

"Whatevs" I rolled my eyes. "there" I said inspecting them. I attempted to put them back on his face but poked his eye instead.

He flinched back and rubbed his eye as I laughed silently.

"See this is where you where supposed to take them and put them on yourself" I defended myself.

"Well excuse me but I thought you wanted to do that" he looked up at me. His right eye was red and watery and he looked funny.

"I don't recall telling you that I wanted to do it but whatever"

"Don't you think we would be a great bickering married couple?" he asked suddenly.

"No I would have left you by then"

He didn't answer me.

"Guy I'm, kidding" I said nudging his shoulder.

"You are going to leave me" he said looking out the window.

What could I say to that? I wasn't the type to give comforting words. I came short in those situations. Usually I would just tend to grieve with the person that was having trouble but it was hard to do that with Edward. I felt like I really needed to comfort him.

I took a deep breath and hoped I wouldn't screw this up.

"Can we not loose any more time" I said quietly. I cursed myself for chickening out. I just wasn't good at this and I didn't want to talk about it.

He sniffed and silently started the car.

To kill the silence I turned on my ipod and listened to music the rest of the way.

Malibu creek state park was breathtaking. That's all I could say, it was beautiful, it was mesmerizing, and it was…wow. Maybe camping again wouldn't be so bad.

One of the best ways to have fun is by doing things you hate. Or at least that's the way I see it. I hated camping the first time I went and now here I was camping again and risking my butt cheeks once more.

We got set up in agonizing silence. Whenever I tried to talk to him his answers were short and to the point.

"Edward talk to me" I moaned after we were all done.

"Wanna go to the lake?" he said morosely.

Seriously Edward? That's all you're going to say?

"Sure" I said figuring it was the best I was going to get. Well for now at least.

I followed him silently through the forest. I was just bidding my time, when I decided we were going to talk I would make sure he gave me longer answers.

I fell behind a bit and by the time I catched up to him he was sitting at the edge of the lake. I tried to control the slight pain that I was beginning to feel in my chest. I never was able to walk for long amounts of times without getting tired.

I sat next to him and looked ahead into the lake and tried to keep my breathing even.

I didn't try hard enough apparently because Edward noticed.

"You all right?" he asked looking at me for a moment.

"Peachy" I said with a glum smile.

He nodded once and turned his attention back to the water.

How is it that we always ended up having our most important conversations in front of body's of water? I didn't I know if he liked water as much as I did but they were sure a nice setting for these kinds of talks.

"Okay why the fuck aren't you talking to me?" I said, too late I had lost it.

"Well excuse me for wanting time to think."

"Oh" well he could have told me that. "Well you could have told me that"

"I didn't know I had to tell you every single thing I did"

"What is wrong with you?!"

"There's nothing wrong with me"

"You know what fine" I stood up and stomped away. Muttering things under my breath.

"Shouldn't have brought him with me" I mumbled quietly to myself.

Just like last night I felt him wrap his arms around my waist.

"Damn it let me go!" I pushed him he went right into the lake.

"Jajaja" I said and began to run before he got out of the water. It wasn't long until he attempted to grab hold of me once more. This time he succeeded and he threw us both into the water.

"You fucker!" I screamed as I resurfaced. "What the-"

His lips blocked the rest of my words. I felt one of his wet hands at my neck and the other at the back of my head. For a moment neither of us moved we just stayed there with our lips touching. I think we were both wondering who would give in first.

Turns out it was me, as soon as I became aware of what was happening I threw myself at him. The action caught him off guard and we fell back into the water. We glued our lips to each other and he held my body close as we resurfaced once more. That's when our lips began to move against each others.

How could I have seriously thought this was a gross action? I must have been out of my mind. For a second I thought I should have experienced this much earlier. I proved myself wrong. If I had done this earlier maybe this moment wouldn't have had as much meaning as it obviously did now.

I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my lips harder one last time and then pulled back to look at his dazed face.

"Eew" I said scrunching my nose in fake disgust. He broke out of his daze and his face broke into a huge smile and he embraced me and lifted me, I placed my hands on either side of his face and lowered my lips to his.

"Damn it Edward" I panted. I flopped down on the dirt to prove just how tired I was. Damn lucky I was to not have come here during the summer. The heat would have killed me.

"You do know a hike is not the best thing for me" I panted and took a long swig out of my water bottle. Water dripped down from my mouth as I drank. Then I felt something wet and warm run over my neck to lick the drops of water.

The motion made my ticklish sense kick in and I spit out all of the water in my mouth as I laughed and pulled away.

I opened my eyes and saw Edwards face dripping with water.

"Well aren't you a dumb boy" I cooed.

"Shut up I was trying to be sexy" he mumbled drying his face with his shirt.

"Licking a ticklish girl's neck is the dumbest thing you can do Edward just in case you didn't know"

"It was sexy while it lasted." He said smiling widely and showing of his pearly whites.

"Was not" I said. "It was a fail"

"Well how about this then" he crawled towards me and began kissing my face and then my neck and behind my ear. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

"Okay then ladies man" I said pulling away as my neck began to tickle from his kisses. "You pass"

"Score" he whispered in my ear.

"Move" I giggled and pushed him off of me. I got up and looked ahead at what we still had ahead of us.

"Damn Edward could you have picked a longer trail to hike?"

"Longest one I could find" he said getting up.

"You're not supposed to answer that" I said as I threw the remainder of my water at him.

"Oh so that's how it's going to be?" he picked me up and swung me over his shoulder, and took of to a steady jog.

"No, no, no put me down" I argued.

"Why?" he said teasing.

"I don't like the view"

He took a moment to answer. "I do" he said suggestively.

"perv" I said rolling my eyes. He laughed but didn't put me down until ten minutes later after he claimed I was too fat to carry around. Feigning hurt, I pushed him down to the dirt.

"Calm down!" he shouted half laughing and half serious.

"That was mean, apologize." I ordered straddling him.

"Will you get off of me if I do?"

"Yes"

"Then I'm not sorry"

"Okay" I said getting up.

"But you're not sleeping with me today or tomorrow, or the next day, or the next"

"Okay I get it. I'm sorry. You're not fat if anything I think you're underweight."

"What do I look like?"

"A bony skeleton"

"That's what I like to hear" I said nodding approvingly.

He looked speculatively at me.

"If any of my past girlfriends had been like you I wouldn't have broken up with them"

"That's why I'm special" I said in a girly voice. "one of a kind"

"Yeah you're conceited too"

"Why Mr. Cullen I'm afraid I know not the meaning of such word"

"Do you know the meaning of the word hungry?"

"I believe so"

He stood up and we both went of on our way back to the campsite as night began to fall upon us.

"I need to pee" I said quietly.

"Then pee, there's many bushes"

"I might get bitten" I whispered. We laughed silently, neither of us wanting to disturb the silence of the night. That was the job of the creatures living in this forest.

It was getting pretty cold.

I walked out of the tent and saw that Edward was already changed into new jeans and like me, layers of clothes.

He was in the process of starting a fire. I sat down on a log and decided to watch him and try to ignore the uneven beating of my heart. I knew this wasn't because of Edward or any of the sorts.

After he got it started he turned to smirk at me.

"See something you like?" he wiggled his eyebrows.

"No I see some annoying teenage boy blocking my view with his ass." I replied.

"You like it" he said batting his eyelashes like a girl.

"Maybe a little bit" I said as he sat between my legs. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my chin on his head.

"So you never did explain why we bought hamburgers instead of just buying food to make here"

"It's simple. I'm too lazy to actually cook and something tells me you suck at cooking"

"Who told you that?" I said indignant

"Do you?" he turned his head to look at me. His sudden expression made him look childlike.

"Mom never let me near her kitchen. Says she worked to hard to get that kitchen and she didn't want me burning it down or something"

"See I know you better than you think" he snickered and turned around again.

I softly hit his head. "You do not"

"Sure" he said. I could almost hear the roll of his eyes.

"You know what just pass me a hamburger" I said.

"Something in return please"

I pulled his hair.

"Ouch that really hurt" he said in a fake British accent, no doubt trying to imitate that little British kid that got bitten by his little brother.

"Give me that" I said with a laugh and snatched the burger from his hand.

We ate in silence, only making comments now and then.

"Okay I'm ready to talk" he announced after we had finished eating.

"Well I'm not" I stood up and sat by his side, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I thought you wanted to talk"

"The magic word is wanted okay? I'm having a nice time and words would just screw everything up. So let's not screw up okay, just shut up"

He smiled and kissed my forehead. I watched as the flames danced, bright and alive. Edward wrapped his arms around me and stroked my hair gently. Soon I found myself in a deep slumber.

I gasped and jerked away as a sharp pain hit my chest. I heard myself give out a small wail and my body curled in. all I was focused on though was the pain I felt at my chest, like I was being stabbed, my breaths came out in short pants and my heart seemed to beat faster.

Hands meant to comfort me met my body.

"April?!" Edwards alarmed voice rang in the darkness oh how I hated the dark right now.

A flashlight lit the tent and Edward flashed it in my direction.

"Dear lord" he muttered and he picked me up into his arms.

"Breathe April, try to slow down your breathing please", he pleaded and his body shook.

My heart, wild with panic, seemed to slow down and my breaths began to slow down. The pain in my chest was still there but it was only minimal.

"Edward" I gasped.

"Shhh April don't talk right now" his voice was laced with relief and concern. I had just given him another reason for him to take me back to forks.

I mentally laughed at myself. Here I was close to having a heart attack and I'm worried about having to go back home.

"I'm sorry" I said softly as he began to rock us back and forth.

"For what?" he whispered.

"I scared you"

"You did"

"I'm sorry"

"This isn't your fault"

"No it's not"

"It's not" he repeated.

"Will you hate me?...when I leave?"

In the light of the flashlight and the moonlight I saw him look down at me with a ghostly stare.

"I can never truly hate you." He sighed. "You didn't choose this."

"But what if I give up?"

"There's no such thing as giving up when it comes to death April, our body will stop working when it chooses to"

"You're not a big believer in faith are you?"

"I don't like to have my faith crushed before my own eyes"

"Have you accepted my fate?"

"Yes but even if I don't believe in faith deep down I still hope. Hope is the only thing that can keep us going sometimes."

"Yeah"

Silence.

"Promise me" I whispered after a while

I felt him shift his position and he looked down at me.

"Anything "he whispered.

"Promise me that you won't overreact. Don't remind me about what's to come. Just let me have the best days of my life"

"I promise" he vowed.

"Promise me that you won't forget me…I know it sounds selfish but, I'm afraid of being forgotten, especially by you. I won't forget you Edward even after this life"

"I don't have to promise you that. I will always remember you no matter what. But if it makes you feel better then I promise."

I moved my body so that I could reach his lips.

"Thank you, just the fact that I get to be with you on what could possibly be the last week of my life makes this the time of my life."

"So you're a green day fan?" he said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Anyone who's anyone loves green day Edward. I think that's becoming my favorite song too"

"I like it. It's enlightening"

I laughed. Yeah that's exactly what it was.

I tried to get off of his lap but he held on to me. I pinched his hand and he let go. Quickly I got off and crawled back into the sleeping bag we were sharing. He lay down to and we snuggled together.

"Tell me a secret" I whispered. I felt like a kid whispering to their friends at night in a sleepover when really they should have been asleep.

He didn't answer right away.

"Okay uhm two years ago I told my parents I was going to a sleepover. But really I sneaked out to a club got a fake I.D and got high."

"That doesn't sound like you" I said.

"It's wasn't like me. I was shocked at myself."

"So you smoke pot?"

"Nah I only tried it twice after that but I figured I was doing a stupid thing, besides my dad is a doctor and I would have ashamed him"

"Yeah now that sounds more like you"

He laughed quietly.

"Do you still have your I.D?" I asked.

"Yeah", quiet. "Do you have one?"

"Yup"

"Now why would you have a fake I.D?" he said in a fake disapproving tone.

"All the cool people have one" I joked and shrugged my shoulders.

"Your turn" he whispered. His sweet breath fanned across my face and I inhaled it and committed it to memory.

"I often lie to my mom"

"That's not a secret"

"It is to her"

"That's not valid"

"Fine uhm when I was twelve I killed my brothers goldfish because I was mad at him. He still doesn't know it"

"You were mad at him so you decided to take it out on his pet goldfish"

"You have no idea how much I cried after I did it"

Now that I think about it maybe that's why I was dying now. As payback for killing his goldfish. A life for a life.

"Your turn" I whispered.

"When Alice and I were five I pushed her down a well while we were playing. But she was a good sport and didn't tell on me. Of course she hasn't been the same since. She scared of closed spaces now"

"I'm telling" I teased.

"Not if I tell on you first"

"Douche bag"

He laughed. "Okay your turn"

"You're my bestest friend ever."

"That's not a secret that's a statement"

"Well I say that it's a secret and what I say goes"

"Okay here's another secret…I'm tired"

"Me too" I yawned.

"Okay snow white go to sleep now"

"Yes dad" I muttered.

He kissed my forehead and hugged me tighter to him.

We both woke up in the same position.

keep in mind this is all in the same day.

excuse the lack of enthusiasm ive got loads to do now so

a review would definitly make my day because let me tell you it was pretty gray

-airali