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A/N: I have no idea where this came from. It's 315 words so too long to be a drabble, but too short to be a real chapter sooo I guess it's a random scene that will maybe someday be fleshed out more? Possibly set in the same universe as Perfidious? Or One Wish? Or maybe even LTBAH? I haven't decided yet...

Title: Small
Rating: PG13 for language
Summary: Umm...I dunno. Order party at the Potter's home and Maria's ex-boyfriend (Derek), who is also a former classmate of James's shows up. James did not approve of the relationship and finally get's to work out some of his rage. BTW, Maria = girl!Harry + this story has alive!Marauders & Lily.
Beta: No Beta, but if you want to volunteer, I'd be very grateful!

Infuriated, James reared back and decked Derek. The bewildered former Ravenclaw went flying, landing sprawled half on the patio and half in the rosebushes. Gaping, he raised himself onto his elbows, one hand going to his jaw - which was already bruising. "Wha-what was that for?"

Murderous, James hissed, "If you ever even think of touching my daughter again I will rip off your balls, puree them in a blender, and stuff them so far up your arse they pour out of your nose!" Nostrils flaring, he made to hit Derek again, but Remus and Peter hastily stepped forward and pulled him back.

As the rest of the Order gaped in shock, Maria spoke up, "Alright, yes, thank you, so he wasn't exactly my best dating decision ever - but did you really have to hit him?"

"Look on the bright side..."

Curious, she turned to Sirius and asked, "Yes?"

With a careless shrug, he replied, "Oh, I don't know what the bright side is, but people always say to look there."

Maria rolled her eyes sarcastically, "Thanks Sirius, that's really helpful."

Always cheerful, Sirius simply grinned at his goddaughter, "No problem!"

"Annnnnyways, Derek, I'm sorry for Dad hitting you."

"Uhh, it's okay, I guess?"

"Although...really, this is more then half your own fault."

"Wha-my fault! How and, uh, why!"

"Yes! I mean, if you would've just, you know, warned me, that you have a micro-penis, I wouldn't have laughed as hard as I did when you took your pants off. And then Dad wouldn't have heard us and walked in and that whole...nasty incident could have been avoided. You should just be more honest in the future."

Sirius sniggered, "You laughed when he took his pants off?"

"Well, it's not my fault! You would've laughed too!" Leaning closer, she whispered, a mischievous smirk barely hidden, while miming the size with her fingers held an inch apart, "It's reaaaally small. Like...miniscule."

While James fumed at the thought of someone corrupting his sweet, innocent, little baby-girl, Sirius and Remus tittered in amusement, and Derek turned purple with both fury and embarrassment mingling on his face, Lily turned to her only child, gently admonishing, "Maria, really!"

"Whaaat? I speak only the truth, Mother."

A/N: Like I said...no idea where this came from. But please review anyways...even if you just want to tell me I have a twisted mind :D! If you want more girl!Harry, OW: Beginnings is going to be updated with chapter 21 probably either tonight or tomorrow morning...