DIRTY LITTLE SECRET

Chapter Three: Home – Part One

Although Quinn had sinned – she had committed a sin so bad that her physical appearance was suffering for it in the form of her baby bump – Quinn still enjoyed going to mass every Sunday. For obvious reasons, she could no longer attend mass in the church that she used to go to regularly with her parents. Not that she wanted to see them either, it was just that it happened to be the church she had gone to for almost her whole life. Unfortunately, since Puck and his family were Jewish, Quinn was left by her lonesome to attend mass at a church within walking distance from Puck's house.

It was only five blocks away and Quinn enjoyed the brisk walk. Quinn preferred to get to the church early and leave late, not because she was as ultra religious as her parents pretended to be, but it helped her avoid the stares and accusing faces of the other people in the room. Quinn had no illusions that her fellow Catholics were more caring and considerate than they were conservative. The disapproving looks that they gave her were just as bad as the haughty looks she received from school. Quinn sat up front in order to avoid those looks and thankfully the priests were as forgiving as they preached the Lord to be.

The ceremony was going to begin in five minutes and Quinn was enjoying the tranquility. She didn't have to listen to Puck talk endlessly about how cool it was that he had discovered a hidden level in one of his video games, or heard his sister and mother converse with each other by shouting from different rooms. Quinn closed her eyes as she listened to the choir tune their instruments.

"Quinn Fabray. Why, you must be stalking me."

Quinn's eyes flew open as she recognized Jesse's voice. She looked up at the curly haired boy who was about to take a seat beside her on the bench. "Jesse," she hissed, trying to avoid calling attention to them. "What are you doing here?"

He sat down and calmly put his hands together on his lap. "I came for the gospel music, my uncle recommended this church to me as having the best choir for a nine in the morning mass. Granted, they probably aren't as good as me, but listening to choirs sing gospel music inspires me and reenergizes me for the grueling week ahead."

Quinn opened her mouth to retort, but just then they were all asked to stand to begin the mass. Quinn did her best to ignore him during the one hour ceremony, however she was consciously aware of where he sat and jumped every time his arm brushed hers. She did however enjoy listening him sing along with the choir for the mass songs. He had an amazing voice, and somehow he seemed innocent even as he sang songs about goodness and trust in the Lord.

During the Lord's Prayer, everyone in the congregation joined hands and lifted them up but Quinn resolutely kept hers at her side. However, like any antagonist, Jesse had taken a firm grasp of her hand and lifted it up. Quinn struggled half-heartedly, as she didn't want to make a scene, but Jesse held on tight. The song seemed to take forever to finish and Quinn's thoughts were soon preoccupied with how Jesse's hand felt like. His hand wasn't as clammy as Finn's but it wasn't as rough as Puck's. If she didn't know better, Quinn would have guessed Jesse used an expensive hand moisturizer on his hands regularly. His hand felt nice, even though it was squeezing hers tightly.

Finally, the song ended. Quinn waited for Jesse to let go as he still had a death grip on her hand, but long seconds after the rest of the congregation had moved on to the next part of the mass, Quinn realized Jesse was purposely keeping her hand up. Her cheeks turned red as she pulled her hand back down. Jesse lips curved in the smile that Quinn had grown so familiar with and hated all at the same time.

When the mass had finally ended, Quinn broke her practice of staying until long after the ceremony had finished. She needed to get away from Jesse before he drove her crazy this early on in the week. She was taking long, brisk strides in the lobby of the church when she heard it.

"The nerve. Coming here after what she's done. The Lord will never forgive her."

Already at her wits end, Quinn whirled around and faced the elderly lady who had made the derogatory remark. "Excuse me? Who are you to say who the Lord will or will not forgive? Do you have some secret to understanding how He thinks that is beyond human understanding?"

The woman was taken aback by Quinn's retort but stood her ground. "No amount of prayer will save you."

Quinn laughed evilly. "Perhaps it is you who wouldn't be saved. Had you been alive during Jesus' time, I bet you would have been the first person in line to crucify his mother Mary for being pregnant prior to her marriage with Joseph. Then none of us would be here today."

Speechless, the woman sniffed and turned away. Quinn glared at her back, enjoying the triumphant feeling her small victory had given her. The feeling was short lived as she heard a slow clap behind her. She knew no one disparaging enough to do that in a church other than Jesse and so she took her time turning around.

"Brava, Ms. Fabray. That was quite a display of bitch. It reminds me of -"

Quinn rolled her eyes and interrupted him before he could begin a long list of famous "bitches" on Broadway. "What do you want, Jesse?"

"Many things. I'd like a win at Regionals this year, as well as to graduate with honors so that I can secure the major that I'm after in UCLA, but also I'd like to have Rachel finally come to her senses and give in to the St. James charm." Jesse said with a leer. "Oh wait, I think I have all of that, or almost all of it coming my way."

Quinn grunted in exasperation and turned around and began to walk back home. She was thankful when she didn't hear Jesse following her. She wondered if she was just unlucky or if he just knew exactly what to say to push her buttons. Puck was always getting on her last nerve, but she knew he did it unintentionally most of time, which was frustrating on its own – to realize how little her baby's daddy understood her.

She walked on the opposite side of the road in order to better see the oncoming cars. After a few minutes of peaceful silence, Quinn saw a Range Rover on the opposite end of the road. She wouldn't have noticed it, but it had started to slow down the closer it approached her. Since she wasn't blocking its way, Quinn could only guess that with her luck, it was Jesse who was there to bother her again.

Quinn's guess was confirmed when Jesse rolled down the window. "You're quite rude aren't you? We weren't even finished talking."

"Why are you following me, Jesse?"

Jesse paused before answering. "I was the last person to see you. Should anything happen to you on your way home, perhaps an early labor, I would get blamed for your poor decision to walk by yourself and we quite frankly there isn't a lot of space left on the list of my sins."

It began to drizzle and Quinn wanted to scream as Jesse's smirk grew. It just wasn't fair that someone so close to being the devil had the ability to turn the weather to his advantage. "If I get in, will you promise not to talk?"

"Now why would I make a promise like that when I obviously enjoy hearing my voice and you are at the disadvantage? Perhaps I'll sing even."

Quinn glared at Jesse and would have stood there longer had the rain start to come down harder. She groaned and ran over to the passenger side of Jesse's car and got in. She had to admit, it was a better idea than walking home, Quinn felt the heater of the car the moment she closed the door and her body shivered.

Jesse rummaged through the backseat through his things – for a boy who was such a miva that he bordered on being gay, he was a real slob. At last, Jesse pulled out a towel from the backseat and handed it to Quinn before he began to drive. Quinn stared at it quizzically, wondering why Jesse was being helpful to her.

"It's clean," Jesse said in an annoyed voice.

Carefully drying her face and arms, Quinn said a soft thank you, still puzzled by his behavior. After a few moments, Quinn took notice of the road and realized they weren't headed in the direction of the Puckerman's house. "Where are we going?" Belatedly, Quinn realized that she probably should have felt worried that she was in a moving car and had no idea where she was going. Even though he had just saved her from the rain, Quinn knew that Jesse was always up to no good. Kidnapping her probably wasn't an option, since Quinn didn't know anyone who would pay the ransom, not that Jesse seemed like he had any need for money.

"I'm hungry. Doing a little good always makes me work up an appetite. There's a really good diner I wanted to try just around the block."

Quinn felt her tummy rumble and she immediately thought of the bacon that she couldn't eat in Puck's house. Surely the diner would have the dish she had been craving for so long now. She also thought of the oil and fat that would be dripping from it and couldn't decide if that repulsed her or made her even more ravenous.

They went around the small parking lot twice before they found a decent spot. While Quinn was slowly getting out of her side of the car, Jesse had already quickly made it over with an umbrella. Again, his gallantry stunned Quinn into silence. It was a good thing Jesse enjoyed the sound of his voice. His complaints about the parking spaces conditions filled the gap. "The food better be good, it's impossible to find a decent sized parking slot here," Jesse ranted as he walked them to the diner's entrance. "The slots either too small or next to a huge puddle of mud – I just cleaned my car!"

"You actually clean your own car?" Quinn couldn't help but ask.

"No, I pick up random girls on the road, seduce them and they do it for me for free," Jesse said slyly. Quinn rolled her eyes. "But given your condition, I think I'll give you a free pass."

"Thanks," Quinn said wryly. They settled into a booth and Quinn opened a menu and her mouth watered. There were so many interesting things on the menu which Quinn wanted to try. Pancakes, hash brown, bacon, scrambled eggs, oohh and then there was dessert. Quinn just couldn't decide.

As she flipped through the menu, Quinn noticed how puffy her fingers were getting lately. She looked down at her arms and at her stomach. She was definitely gaining a lot of weight and Quinn was not happy about it. Even in pregnancy and at the bottom of the high school hierarchy, Quinn was still very much conscious about her looks. Reluctantly, Quinn narrowed down her wish list.

Jesse was still browsing through the menu, reading through the items out loud, occasionally asking Quinn if she thought that particular dish would be good. Quinn felt her stomach growl louder and was grateful when the waitress finally arrived to take their order. She requested for the platter of fresh fruit and a glass of milk.

Jesse stared at her. "Is that all you're having?"

Quinn looked up at him defensively. "It's healthy."

"Healthy?" Jesse echoed, shaking his head in disbelief. He turned to the waitress and placed his order. Quinn's stomach growled again as she heard Jesse repeat out loud almost her entire wish list which happened to be almost everything on the menu. She looked over at his form – while he was nowhere near as buff as Puck or Finn, Jesse had a well toned body that looked well taken cared of. She envied how he could have such a body and eat all of that delicious food she was trying to avoid.

The waitress finally finished taking Jesse's order and for once the table was silent. Quinn realized that she was practically on a date with the devil himself, and yet he was acting like anything but. This made her feel uncomfortable, as she was not used to this side of Jesse. "So, where's Rachel?" Quinn asked awkwardly.

"Rachel spends her Sundays with her dads, it's a traditional whole day event for them. They wake up early, put together this big meal which they eat from breakfast until dinner. In between meals, they watch all sorts of shows from their collection, anywhere from musicals to black and white movies to taped performances of Rachel when she was a kid."

Quinn made a face. "Sounds fascinating."

"It does actually. Anyway, I didn't want to interrupt their quality bonding time, so I asked my uncle where I could find a church with a suitable mass and choir, and well here I am."

Quinn wanted to roll her eyes again but fought the urge to. She was saved from having to respond as their orders arrived. One by one the dishes were placed on their table and Quinn tried to refrain from looking at them longingly. Soon, every inch of their table was filled with food.

"Bon appétit!" Jesse said, as he proceeded to dig into his scrambled eggs.

"You're really going to eat all that?"

"No..." Jesse said slowly, as if the answer were obvious. "We're going to eat it. There is no way I can finish this all, I am on a strict diet in order to keep my body in top condition."

Even though Quinn really wanted to try all of the dishes that were currently sitting on their table, the smell was intoxicating, she was dismayed at the thought of the potential weight gain. "I don't want to eat all that, I'm happy with my order, this is more than enough for me," she insisted.

Jesse blinked and sneered at her. "Oh please, don't tell me you believe in the American ideal image of a perfect woman being as slim as a stick and sadly obsessed with vanity."

"Don't talk to me about vanity! Your hair looks like you spent an hour in front of a mirror and ten products on it!"

"We're not talking about me," Jesse said witheringly. "We're talking about you and your eating habits. How long have you been starving yourself?"

"Do I look like I'm starving to you?" Quinn placed a hand on her stomach." I must have gained thirty pounds since August!"

"You're pregnant, of course you're going to gain weight for the baby. Your baby won't be able to grow and be healthy if you're starving yourself. You keep starving yourself and your baby will come out ugly and malnourished and then no one will want to take your baby in. And then where will you find yourself? Stick thin with no one but yourself to take care of a hungry baby."

Quinn hesitated. "Do you really think my baby will be ugly if I don't eat?"

This time it was Jesse's turn to roll his eyes upward. "Yes. Now why don't we start you off nice and slow with this juicy bacon." Jesse took Quinn's plate of fruits from her and replaced it with the plate of bacon he had caught her eyeing earlier. Quinn stared at it for the longest time before giving in and biting into a slice.

"See? That wasn't so bad after all. So tell me, have you always hated yourself for eating?" Jesse took a slice of bacon from the plate in front of Quinn for himself and replaced it with a hash brown, which she dug into right away. Before she could finish, Jesse had already placed a pancake and some eggs on her plate.

Quinn wanted to tell Jesse it really wasn't necessary and that she would eat, but she didn't think he'd believe her. "Being a Cheerio was tough. Coach Sylvester had us all on a very strict diet and implemented a weekly weigh in. For every pound overweight, we had to run ten laps around the gym. Every day we were drinking the Sue Sylvester Master Cleanse. It had water, maple syrup for glucose, lemon for acid, cayenne pepper to irritate the bowels, and a dash of ipecac, a vomiting agent."

Jesse wrinkled his nose. "Sounds delicious. Do you miss it?"

"I definitely don't miss the Master Cleanse. But I do miss being a Cheerio. I enjoy after school curricular activities and I loved the uniform. I miss being the envy of all of the other girls in the school. I can't wait until May so that I can finally get back into shape. I can barely pick up after myself anymore. I feel so uncomfortable in this skin."

"Being at home in your body doesn't mean you're happy with how perfect it is. It means you're happy with it no matter what size you are. Really, Quinn, I thought you were better than that. Perhaps this pregnancy thing really has taken all the confidence out of you."

Quinn scowled. "You try being fat and see how perky you'll be."

"Please, do you really believe that women look and feel their best when all skin and bones? I personally think that all women are better with a few pounds on them. Believe me, sleeping with a stick isn't all that's cracked up to be."

"I seem to recall I was a 'stick' when I got knocked up by Puck."

"Well Puck has never had a good sense of judgment. If more men were as shallow as Puck, I think I can understand why naturally beautiful girls like you have this twisted sense of what they need to look like and this erroneous image is something that will be detrimental to them in the long run, especially in terms of health."

Quinn froze. Had Jesse St. James just say that she was beautiful? Was she hearing correctly?

Jesse took a deep breath, realizing that he was ranting. "Look, I'm just saying that instead of feeling bad about the baby weight, why don't you just enjoy the pregnancy glow that you have. It suits you."

Yes, she had heard him correctly. For some reason, that made Quinn blush and feel as beautiful as he had painted her out to be. "Thanks," she said softly, as she began to pick through her food.

They fell silent for awhile and listened to the sounds of the diner – dishes clinking against one another, hungry patrons calling over the waitresses and the sloshing of drinks being poured. "Hey, I never told you. I remembered meeting you at the Midwest Chastity Ball last year," Jesse said casually, in between bites.

Quinn stilled. "Oh really?"

"Yeah. The ball was about to begin, everyone was milling about with last minute preparations. My date, Sydney had left me backstage momentarily to talk to her mother and you were waiting impatiently for your date to come back with something."

"Finn," Quinn said softly. "Finn was my date to last year's ball. I had asked him to get me some water."

"So there we were backstage. With nothing better to do, I stroll around and find myself across Quinn Fabray, who is looking all displeased because her boyfriend , Finn, is dawdling."

"You're a very descriptive storyteller, aren't you?"

"Don't interrupt. Since I can never resist a challenge, I approach you to see if I can charm you out of your mood and because Sydney hasn't introduced us at that time, we talk for awhile without really getting each other's names."

"That was poor manners on your part."

"You didn't seem to think that when we were talking. I do recall you were flirting with me, touching my hand and laughing a lot as if you hadn't just been upset with Finn."

Quinn's hand tightened into a fist under the table. "I don't remember that. You must be thinking about some other girl."

Jesse smirked. "Oh, I definitely remember you. At the ball, after everyone learnt that I had slept with Mila the night before, everything became crazy. Mila had been dragged away by her mother and Sydney had left with Mila's date, Garrett. I wanted to try and salvage the night and I went to look for the pretty girl I had talked to and flirted with earlier that night."

"Pretty?" Quinn scoffed. "Then that was definitely not me. I was more than pretty back then. I was drop dead gorgeous and I would have won the title of queen of the ball that night had the scandal not distracted everyone."

Jesse rolled his eyes. "Fine, that drop dead gorgeous girl I had flirted with earlier that night. Anyway, I found and cornered you right before you went into the powder room. I turned on the St. James charm and propositioned you. Over the years I've discovered that a lot of girls don't care about a bad boy's history and that it often even wants to make those girls sleep with said bad boy. But not you, you turned on me in full bitch mode and gave me a piece of your mind about sleeping with your best friend's friend."

Quinn tried to look as innocent as possible. "That could have been anyone, you upset a lot of people when the scandal broke out."

"That was definitely you," Jesse said with a conceited smile. "I wasn't sure when we first talked in the gym, but earlier in church I remembered how bitchy you can get."

Quinn glared at him witheringly. "You deserved it. Who in their right mind would expect to get laid after getting caught with Mila at a Chastity ball of all places? Given that a scandal had just broken over about sleeping with you, no girl in her right mind would just jump into the mess Mila was in."

"You were always concerned with your image, weren't you Quinn? It's obvious to me now why you took Finn as your boyfriend – he was the ideal boyfriend, every parent's dream. Nevertheless, It was clear that he wasn't your ideal boyfriend, you were always upset with him for one reason or the other." Jesse lowered his voice, "I'm not surprised Puck was the one who finally knocked you up. You've always struck me as the type to go for the bad boy, if not for all of your hang ups on the perfect image."

Quinn's blood started to boil. She looked down at the table to see if there was any food she could throw onto Jesse but found that they had already, amazingly enough, finished all of their food. She silently counted to ten in order to calm herself. "Dream on, Jesse."

Jesse chuckled. "I think I'll do that, thank you very much."

Author's Note: Dryyyyyy spell. Need more St. Fabray fics! Need more manips! Need more vids! Just a friendly reminder to please always review to inspire authors and editors, haha.

This chapter is dedicated to LJSkywalker, D-Fan, Heart Like Memphis, km and whatever12345 - thank you very much for reviewing!