"Arabell" Liam's soft voice stopped my train of thinking. I didn't bother to look up, it was bad as it is, him, seeing me like this, crying alone. I felt him brush against me as he sat down beside me, still crying i didn't comprehend his attempt to comfort me, he pulled me effortlessly in his warm firm grasp, his arms wrapping around me with his chin resting gently on the top of the head "It's ok" he repeated over and over until all i heard was the rush of his gentle voice as he rocked me back and forth. I didn't speak, i didn't stop crying, i just allowed myself to be comforted but the need to release the pain didn't cease as the time between us continued. The rain didn't stop only falling faster and hasher hitting us both the feel of getting drenched didn't come to my attention until Liam swiftly carried me-bridal style-out of the rain. He was warm unlike the cold weather, the smell of aftershave and mint came from his neck as i nestled into him, his arms were strong and masculine as he carried me to where either he was going, his brown curls were dripping wet, some drops hitting me gently on the face but i didn't bother to wipe them away only allowing them to slide down my face as i crushed my cold body against his sun kissed tanned warm skin.
The faint sound of a door opening made my eyes peak open slightly, they widened once i realised we're in my room. He walked over to my canopy netted bed and cautiously sat me down. He didn't speak a word as he looked over me as if to find a reason for my crying, his chocolate eyes gazed over my body until they reached my eyes, he placed his hand softly on my cheek, brushing me with a compassionate touch. "Let me get something dry" he said softly with a sad smile before he walked over to my bathroom and seconds later brought out 2 towels. He wrapped one around his mid waist that covered his damp jeans and white t-shirt that clung to his gorgeous abs before sitting on the bed beside me as he wrapped one around my shoulders while he held me close again. "Can i ask why you're upset?" he asked finally. I opened my mouth to tell him to mind his business but then shut it again when i didn't want to yell at the only person-right now- who has helped me when i really needed it without the need of asking. I opened my mouth again to say something about the reason why but i didn't exactly know why, the fact the presence of Him will always be a constant companion for me or the fact i have had a nightmare this morning and then now the nightmare has extended without even sleeping maybe the fact that because of my constant attempts to shut and lock the past away has lead to me becoming a freak, an outcast, a loner.
"It's ok" he said as he nudged me softly with his elbow "you don't have to. We can talk about something else" he said which made me relax a little.
"Where did Eloise go?" he asked a minute later. Eloise! Oh yeah, that's ok think she's weird when you're a freak Arabell! I yell mentally at myself. I shrug "i think she went to her room" i replied
"Did she upset you?" he asked, i shook my head 'but something upset her' i thought 'but what? Me? Could she know?' "No" i answer
"Thank you Liam" i say as i look into his chocolate eyes finally "That cool, if you ever need anybody you know, I'm here" he smiled "Do you uh want to go for a shower?" he said looking down at me, i looked at myself goose bumps on top of goose bumps covered my arms as i took off my wet cardigan; i chuckled "yeah, might be a good idea"
I walked over to the bathroom then turned hesitantly back at Liam who still sat on my bed "C-can you stay?" i ask softly "I won't leave" he assured me as i looked at him with a sigh of thankfulness "Thanks" i said as i turned on my heel into the bathroom with a pair of fresh clothes in my hands.
As i stood under the hot spray of water i thought of the many explanations that explained the weird nightmare/daydream that felt so real only none of them seemed to be right. Questions that never got answered filled my head. Why did Eloise look so sad? Why did she leave? She looked in shock and complete sadness as if she knew, only how? Then what was it i saw? Why did i see that?
Is it because i concentrated on what terrifies me the most? Him? The past? The fact I'm no longer fighting to stay alone or to run seems to have let the past catch up. But that thought scares me, can i face the past? Will i allow it to finally catch me after I've tried so hard to hide from it?
I step out of the bathroom glad to have had some time to think; only that time has left my head more confused as it did before.
Liam stood beside my desk with a look of disappointment and hurt on his face as he holds a familiar sketch pad in his hand. Oh! I think as i look back at him. It's the picture of Rylan. The one i did this morning. I bit my bottom lip feeling guilty and embarrassed about his findings.
"You have talent" he says acknowledging my presence finally. I walk over to him cautiously "ahh yeah thanks" i say as i slide the paper out of his hands gently "Listen I'm sorry you must think I'm weird drawing a picture of a guy i barely know" i begin as i put it down on my desk again but was cut off by Liam's angered voice "Weird?" he scoffed "weird? You don't know the half of it" i step back shocked, he shook his head "why? Can i ask why he seems to hold your interests and not anybody else?" my eyes widen by his words only this makes him more of a sycastic asshole that i once thought he was "Is it because his more handsome than anybody? Because his strong? Because his..." his words stop as a firm knock at my door make us both jumps. He rolls his eyes as he mutters "convenient" as i walk over to the door the shock slowly turning to anger at his stupid outburst towards me.
I open the door shocked and relieved at who i saw at the door. I couldn't help it but the sight of him made my heart go into a trance of accelerating beats of pleasure as my stomach went into the unusual fluttering anxiousness and joy as he stands at my door handsome and smiling sheepishly at me, i felt my cheeks flare at the sight of him. 'stop blushing you idiot!' i order myself. "Hay" i manage to croak out "Hello" Rylan's voice coos. I smile like a dork at the door towards him but was interrupted by Liam. "Great, just prefect" he says loud enough as he storms towards us, i turn and see him shake his head again this time in disappointment, he storms past me brushing my shoulder harshly while shoving the towel he had around his waist into my empty arms. He glared at Rylan "why is it one of you always ruin things for me?" he asked harshly at Rylan who looked surprised at Liam's presence and words. Liam barges past Rylan and down the corridor.
We both watch Liam stalk down the corridor and out of sight. I finally look back at Rylan who is smiling at me "I'm sorry, i don't know what got into him." I say "but i have to say he seriously has a grudge against you and Skylar"
"That's fine, he has his reasons" he says softly making me blush again 'dam it' i think annoyed at myself "may i come in Arabell?" he asks i nod and allow him in.
As we sit on the floor leaning against my bed where Liam and i sat not long ago Rylan chuckles as i ask him why he hadn't come earlier to see me. "I was disappointed when Heath turned up with the guys and you weren't with them" i say honestly "I'm sorry i had errands to run for Matthew" he apologises "but it's still daylight so technically i didn't break my promise" he teased looking at me as i look into those intense blue eyes. I stare into those endless blue and find the black darkness tinting those mysterious eyes as i search through them "hay, you have black tinted with your eyes, i never noticed that before" i smile again feeling more confident with myself around his presence.
"Arabell, what upset you today?" he asked softly, i looked back into my folded hands in my lap, losing eye contact with him. How could he tell?
"i know your upset, so please don't deny it" he says, i look back at him, how can this mysterious creature read me so well? "i'm scared and confused Rylan" i say honestly again. He sighs "you don't need to be scared. I will protect you from anything that harms you. I promise" i lean my head on his ice cold shoulder without hesitation or thought, as if i did it every day. But i wanted to do so much with the closeness but decided against it. He easily slides an arm around my waist that is covered by my black hoddie i put on after the shower; strangely i still felt his tender cold finger tips but the fluttering around in my stomach increased again by 10 fold. "It's not something you can protect me from, it's the...past i'm scared about" i say almost chocking on the words "what is it that confuses you then?" he asks much to my relief not continuing on the past subject.
I sigh "it's nothing, i'm probably just going crazy" 'yeah going loony, having weird imaginations about things that'll never happen' i think to myself. I tilt my head up to him again, the strange ice cold temperature of his skin didn't match the heat and warmth in his eyes that held me, the way i felt when he is around me was a relief, a way for myself to be myself and not have to enforce the walls anymore as if i can let go... "You can tell me Arabell" as he speaks this his black pupil grows until all of his eye is black and hypnotic, i gasp but his words continue to be the hypnotic lullaby "relax, and tell me Arabell." He says softly i try to fight it but my mind obeys along with my body, i slump in his arms 'help!' i yell mentally 'what? I can't...i can just relax' i begin to think. "Arabell, you can trust me. I care for you, i won't let anything happen just let me break through those walls"
The trance was set, every muscle and bone are relaxed along with my mind "Rylan, something's wrong with me" i begin "i had a nightmare last night, but when i thought about it today it-it went further, it feels so real...it feels as if that dream is reality and this moment here is the dream" silent tears fall down my face as i explain the dream "T-that laugh" i shivered "i-i've tried hard to forget and-and i can't...He will always be there" i finished still looking hypnotic in his black eyes that didn't scare me but entranced me in his mystery. A part of me was screaming but only that part was silenced by the part of me that was under his hypnosis. I don't know how long i talked about the nightmare for or the weird things i do in drawings but when i finished i felt so drained and weak. My eyelids were heavy along with the tears that had fallen.
"Tell me who He is?" Rylan asks pain now clear in those black eyes. "His-His..." i begin.
"Arabell!" a familiar bell voice yells but the heaviness of tiredness and those dangerous yet relaxing voice sends me into the depths of unconsciousness.
*dream*
The room was dark and cold; i felt the cold stone against my back sending violent shivers through my body. I looked around only finding the over powering darkness that consumed the unfamiliar daunting place. I pulled my knees high against my chest in fear, in fear of what? I thought as my mind just registered the horror that came upon me. His laugh, the daunting laugh that echoed through my ears, the same laugh i have long tried to forget yet never will "I always like playing games my dear Arabell" my body shuddered violently at the sound of His voice. He was close like the suffocating darkness that filled the room showing no sign of escape.
"But you seem to like my favourite game of all" his voice strong and demanding as i clearly remembered taunting me with his presence. Fresh warm tears streamed down my face as the hard tips of his fingers touched my chin fiercely pulling my gaze to his. I winced at the strong throbbing pain coming from my forehead "Look at me!" he commanded, i attempted to crush my eyes closed not wanting to see His face i have tried to forget but the familiar fast slap that sent my left cheek stinging with the quick and clean hit he had landed on me made me gasp in shock whilst my head landed back against the stone wall making my eyes flutter open to see the shadow of His face.
The rough black beard that shaped his angular chin that had grown around his fowl satisfaction of a smile. The eyes that had once held life and love now filled with hate and murder stared into my eyes making me shake in fear. I'm alone with the monster that ruined everything i had known.
"it took me a long time to find you" he smiled in twisted amusement "You see, you are very good at hiding but I'm very good at seeking" his face drew closer, inches from mine. The smell of stale whiskey and cigarettes coming from his breathe. His devious amusement was shown by his loud defiant laughter "what do you want? You asshole!" i yelled anger now flowing thick through my body. He leaned back the darkness covering his eyes but not enough to cover his wide defiant smile "What do you think i want?" he asked sycastically "i want my daughter" he answers myself with a harsh voice " i want my stupid bitch of a daughter to pay for what she did!" he roars loud that echoes through the room in anger...
*end of dream*
i thrash and scream warm tears stinging my eyes as i clench them tightly, my chest pounding in pain as if i had been hit a million times there, my breathe raspy as i grasp on to the reailty of it being a dream.
"Arabell, it's ok" Eloise's voice comes to my attention...
"Arabell, it's ok I'm here" Rylan's voice sooths me but then anger begins to bubble up inside me. He! Argh! He...he; what did he do that made me spill one of my secrets? His eyes...what i said...then...
I sat up in my bed, my hair damp from the tears sticking to my face. If my hair wasn't in my face all they'd be seeing is my death glare! "What happened?" i barked 'I'm so pissed off!' i thought to myself. "Arabell relax" Eloise says, i push an aggravated and confused hand through my hair pushing it away from my face. "No!" i yell "now tell me what the hell is happening!" I look at Eloise, her purple pangs and black hair pulled back in a loose bun, her face filled with sympathy and apology "Arabell...I'm sorry" Rylan's voice says bringing my attention to the other body sitting on the other side of my bed. He sat there his beautiful face filled with pain and regret, the tinted black darkness no longer in his piercing blue eyes "What happened?" i asked again through clenched teeth, he shook his head before he met my eyes again, those intense blue eyes now set, no emotion came through, he had put his mask on just as i had re-built the walls around me. I glared at him 'i can't believe this' i thought, although my face was set too, my heart inside is tearing, 'i just trusted him and then he controlled my body, my mind' my mind cleared for me. 'i can't ever face myself for this' i told myself guiltily "I don't want to lie to you Arabell" Rylan's voice snapped me out of my inner monologue, i could feel the lump in my dry throat rise but i didn't allow it just as i didn't allow the part of me that wanted to jump in his arms and forgive him and pretend it never happened. "But you're not going to tell me the truth either are you?" i spat harshly proud of the way it made Rylan wince but then as i saw the wince i felt the pain of regret from those words. Eloise stood up and walked over to the door, my eyes following her movements "Skylar and Matthew are coming" she said before opening my door, as she opened it Skylar stepped in perfect timing, it was as if...Eloise could hear everything, as if she could read everything...she does...that's why she left me...the ruby red leather covered book came to mind. 'what did it say?' my mind asked, i was blanked but then it picked up everything 'when i mentally screamed she heard' i thought as other occasions came to mind when i thought Eloise was just being weird but now...i know.
Eloise is telepathic.
I immediately looked over to my cluttered desk, i could see the red inviting book wanting me to grab it and run for the door so i can open and reveal all the secrets it holds. So i can understand the depths of this world i thought i knew. Only is she? I mean it all fits but am i just going crazy?
"Jesus Christ Rylan, what the hell were you thinking?" Matthew asked, Rylan's stepfather and Skylar and Liam's real father, the deputy and now another person who seems to know about Rylan's weird hypnosis and I'm guessing Eloise's telepathic power. Skylar stood there looking back and forth at me and Rylan as Eloise stood in front of Matthew "he didn't mean and he regrets it deeply" she says with confidence i had only begun to see Eloise have in the last week.
"does she know?" Matthew asked in a hopeful yet authoritive voice, i looked at Matthew as his chocolate brown wise eyes fell upon me, sadness filled his face. I looked at Eloise who too turned to look at me, i held up the mental resistance "No, but she's not dumb" Eloise smiled sadly. I hated the way the talked about me as if i wasn't there. "She doesn't know a thing?" Skylar asked as if he hadn't heard Eloise rolled her eyes "No!" she yelled "Jesus, she's pissed off and she is confused so i suppose we tell her..." Eloise's voice went hushed keeping me from hearing the last part; it was hard straining to get that far.
I put the pieces together Eloise, must have found out or something like that a week ago that explains the sudden confidence, she must have felt like a freak before she met Matthew and the boys so...they must know and they told her? But then how did they know? Did they come here just for Eloise?
I could feel Rylan's eyes on me, he hadn't moved to greet his step brother and father, and he still sat at the bottom edge of my bed. I decided i had, had enough commotion and confusion in this room, my room which had been invaded by them. I got out of bed, knowing my hair would be a mess and curly but not really caring i walked over to my desk glad I'm not in Pjs except in my black jeans and hoddie still. I pulled out the red leathered book that had grabbed my curiosity those weeks ago and my IPod and my drawing pad, i knew where i was going and i hope no one would follow.
I was angry, pissed off and confused, stressed and scared i needed me time, alone time. I walked out as Skylar called my name "Arabell" he called "where are you going?" i kept walking down the corridor "somewhere to be alone!" i yelled back my voice just as harsh as it was to Rylan. I heard Eloise's bell voice "its ok she just needs some time alone" she assured them. Yep she's telepathic only why didn't she tell them i knew? To save Rylan's ass? To give me time to accept it about her? Hell to give me time to see if what I'm thinking is actually possible?