DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
Chapter Six: Dream On
Quinn Fabray was exactly Jesse's type – beautiful but broken. Jesse had always enjoyed getting close to those girls and exploiting their weakness to his own pleasure or amusement, whichever he could get depending on the circumstances. He had no doubt that had she not been pregnant, he probably would have done his best to seduce Quinn and succeed during his time with New Directions.
Jesse was fascinated by Quinn. Despite being broken, she continued on with a defiant look and stood her ground. Her eyes flared whenever she confronted him and not even her growing tummy prevented him from being turned on by her. Rachel utterly bored Jesse to tears, she was practically like every other girl in Carmel High. But until Ms. Corocan called him back, Jesse had to put up with Rachel and keep himself entertained on the side by bothering Quinn.
He loved seeing a blush crawl up her neck whenever he pushed her buttons. Jesse found it immensely pleasing that she didn't back away from him each time he confronted her. She was always up for the challenge. By now, it was increasingly obvious that Jesse only cornered Quinn to talk whenever she was alone, and yet, she had never made an extra effort to keep herself with company at all times. It was almost as if she anticipated those moments with him as well.
It was quite a coincidence that they had previously met at the Midwest Chastity Ball. At the time, Quinn had been just another pretty face to Jesse. Because he was in between girls at that time, Jesse hadn't bothered to make an effort to chase after her. But Quinn had remembered him, before he had remembered her. This pleased Jesse.
Quinn was turning out to be delightful company for Jesse. While he enjoyed how easy it was to tease her and push her buttons, he took pleasure in their conversations as Quinn was both witty and sharp. Jesse knew he wouldn't be able to push Quinn around to doing anything she didn't partially want to do herself. There was a point where Jesse felt like the evil witch in Hansel and Gretel. While the witch had fed the children to plump them up for her dinner, Jesse was feeding Quinn both for her baby's sake and because he really thought she'd look much hotter if she were curvier, exactly the way he liked his girls.
Quinn's lack of confidence in herself worked to Jesse's advantage. Even though she had initially disliked him, Quinn had grown comfortable around Jesse the more time he spent with her and spending it making her feel better about herself. What Jesse hadn't predicted was what she did with the Glist.
The Glist had thrown a wrench in Jesse's plans. It drove him apart from Rachel – to begin with he could barely stand her but the video had been too much for him to bear to even look at her. Jesse had let Quinn get too close as well, she had seen through his act and recognized that something was wrong with his relationship with Rachel. Thankfully, she hadn't asked too many questions, so Jesse's cover hadn't been blown. He had a feeling it might have, had Quinn let him kiss her that day in the empty classroom.
The combination of Quinn's fright and his wounded pride had left them both exposed and vulnerable. Jesse couldn't count the number of times he had replayed that scene in his head, wondering what he could have said or done instead which would have them end up kissing. He remembered the scared look in her eyes and Jesse recalled wanting her even more then.
But Jesse had finally seen Quinn at her weakest the Sunday he followed her to the local art gallery. He had been teasing her as usual, standing very closely behind her, trying to make her feel uncomfortable. He would make lewd comments about the artwork, causing Quinn to blush and shake her head as she tried to move away from him.
And then she had seen them. Quinn froze as she saw her parents enter the art gallery. Curious, Jesse had stayed put and not followed Quinn to the spot she had moved to in order to get away from him. He watched as she stood there staring at them until they finally noticed her. Her father had looked at her up and down and fixated at her belly. His face had grown an awful shade of red, nothing at all like the lovely flush Jesse enjoyed on Quinn. He had stormed out of the gallery. Quinn's mother had stood there, looking at Quinn helplessly. She had opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, as if she wanted to say something, but eventually followed her husband out.
After a few moments, Quinn calmly walked out of the other exit. Jesse followed Quinn out but kept his distance. His suspicions were confirmed correct as she burst into tears next to a tree in the garden outside the gallery. He watched her as she cried – for all he knew about the girl, he believed that she was the type who hated whenever people saw her in her most fragile state as the most he had seen before was her eyes water. As much as he loved to push her buttons, this wasn't one of those moments.
A lot of women turned splotchy red when they cried because their hearts were breaking. Quinn wasn't one of those women. She was gorgeous and Jesse knew that those kinds of tears belonged on the silver screen. He watched her until her tears subsided. Quinn was wearing her heart on her sleeve at that moment, and from being devastatingly heartbroken, Jesse watched as her expression turned angry. Good, now was a better time to approach her. An angry Quinn was someone Jesse was adept at handling. With his hands in his pockets, Jesse slowly started walking over to the tree that Quinn was leaning against.
"So how long were you going to stand there and watch me," Quinn asked when he stood a foot away. She hadn't turned to face him and was still staring out at the garden. Her chin was tilted slightly up in defiance.
"You saw me?"
"No, but I had a feeling you might still be lurking around. Leaving me alone has never been one of your better qualities."
"I have better qualities that you're willing to admit? Do tell," Jesse drawled, attempting to make light of the situation. Quinn remained silent. "So, those were the heartless bastards that raised you and left you?"
Quinn's gaze snapped to face his. "I suppose you think this is funny."
Jesse held up his hand in surrender. "Hardly. I never would have guessed they were your parents, except for the fact that they seemed to be the only ones you never snapped back at. You don't look a thing like that ugly old dude."
Quinn looked at Jesse in contemplation before looking away. "I haven't seen them since the night they kicked me out of the house. We were having a lovely dinner at home, when Finn spilled that I was expecting what he thought was his baby at the time."
"How you thought Finn Hudson was anything above a moron is beyond me."
"Finn is sweet, thoughtful and funny. Even though I nagged him daily, he worked hard to try and support me and the baby," Quinn said defensively. Then her eyes darkened. "But Finn was weak. He couldn't handle the pressure and left me the moment he found out the baby was Puck's."
Jesse chose his words carefully. "Good boys are always morons who can't always be trusted to do the right thing. They always have this tragic hero complex which they need to live up to." Quinn turned slowly to face Jesse as he inched closer to her. "However, you can always depend on the bad boys to do exactly the wrong thing at the right time." Jesse's voice had dropped to a low whisper.
"Is that a promise?" Quinn asked, her eyes challenging.
Jesse's smirk grew wider. "You can bet on it."
Jesse saw Quinn's momentary hesitation before she threw herself at him, holding his head in her hands and kissing him hard. He was a little surprised at first, and then not at all. Jesse was used to girls throwing themselves at him, especially those he had chased for weeks on end. He was starting to think that Quinn wouldn't have let him get close to her, given her condition, but here she was in his arms.
As they kissed, Jesse took to holding her close with one hand and caressing her with the other. He kissed her tenderly and then again a little more passionate than the one before that. Jesse felt a tear fall onto his cheek as Quinn's eyes watered even as she met Jesse's kisses with equal passion. He might destroy her tomorrow, but right now he was making her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, and that was exactly what she needed at that moment.
He had exploited her at her weakest, something that wasn't very new to Jesse. He ignored the guilty feeling that was slowly starting to grow within him. Every time he remembered Quinn's tear stricken face, he forced himself to focus on the feel of her lips and the sound of her soft moans instead. They made out for several minutes before Jesse could no longer handle the guilty feeling and broke away slowly.
Quinn's eyes clouded with emotion. "Please, Jesse," she begged softly, trying to pull him closer to her. "I need this right now."
"I could ruin you," he reminded her, trying to dry her eyes with his thumb. "I'm the bad boy, remember?"
Quinn shook her head and scoffed. "I'm already pregnant and currently one of the most unpopular girls in McKinley High, what more could you do to possibly ruin me?" If she were honest with herself, she was in a very fragile situation and in no position to make any sound and logical decisions. But to hell with logic – she had just had one of the most emotionally draining days of her life and she was already eight months pregnant.
Jesse didn't respond to that, although several possible answers came to mind. Instead, he leaned down to kiss her lips, determined to kiss her troubles and his guilt away.
Her kisses were passionate and almost desperate, and Jesse tried to sooth her by matching her passion and stroking her hair, trying to console her. He felt her press her body up against him as best as she could, and for once, Jesse was glad that Quinn was pregnant – her belly had kept her far enough so that she couldn't feel Jesse growing hard against her. Jesse was surprised at how turned on he was by Quinn and her kisses, she had really gotten to him.
After a few more minutes, she pulled away. Quinn blinked a few times as her eyes refocused. Then she looked as guilty as he felt. "I'm sorry, I got carried away. I shouldn't have thrown myself at you, I'm so embarrassed. I'm sure you're used to it by now, but it's still no excuse. I can't –"
"Shh," Jesse interrupted, interrupting Quinn's ramblings before she said something that might hurt his ego. He pulled her back into his arms in order to hug her before she began to cry again. "It's alright, I understand. You're going through a real funk right now and needed to release all that. Can I offer you a ride home now?"
Quinn nodded. "Yes, please."
Jesse took Quinn's hand and led her to the parking lot where his car was parked. They were both quiet, both still lost in their own thoughts and reeling from what had just happened between them. So Jesse thought it fitting to turn the radio station to one of his favorite stations which played soul music. He snuck a glance at Quinn, who didn't seem to have a problem with his choice in music. In fact, she seemed to almost relax against it.
Man thinks about a little baby girls and a baby boys / Man makes then happy 'cause man makes them toys
And after man has made everything, everything he can / You know that man makes money to buy from other man
This is a man's world / But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing / without a woman or a girl
"I like that," Quinn spoke up, the first time since they had started their drive to the Puckerman's house.
"Pardon?"
"This James Brown song. This world we live in is a man's world. Men can do everything and get away with everything."
"Like knocking up chicks and not having to pay the price for it?" he guessed.
"Exactly. Men wouldn't be in that position if there weren't any unfortunate women to knock up and take the blame in the first place. Men need women to tear them down so that they can be more powerful."
"Hey," Jesse said mildly. "You forget who you're talking to. I'm a man."
Quinn rolled her eyes. "You're Jesse St. James, tell me how many women you've destroyed in order to claim your reputation as a stud."
Jesse smiled at Quinn wryly and reached out to give her hand a squeeze. "Just a few."
Quinn looked out the window, getting lost in thought. "This is my song. I think it sums up my life perfectly right about now." Soon, Jesse was pulling up his car next to the Puckerman's driveway. There was a long pause of silence.
"Jesse?"
"Yeah?"
Quinn hesitated. "Could you– maybe it would be better if— what I'm trying to say is…" Quinn trailed off, a look of helplessness in her eyes.
"Yes?" he prompted her to continue.
"Would it be possible if we both forget this ever happened?"
"This meaning today?"
"Today, last week, the week before that, all of our secret meetings." When Jesse didn't respond right away, Quinn continued on defensively, "I realize that it's not right, what we're doing. I have Puck and I guess you still sort of have Rachel. You helped me a lot, Jesse, and I'll never forget that. But I think that this had just gotten way too complicated and I can't handle complicated right now."
Jesse was quiet. This wasn't the first time a girl had asked him to pretend that what they had shared never had happened, but for some reason, it stung a little. Usually, once Jesse had gotten what he wanted from a girl, he didn't care who dumped who, so long as it happened fast. But Jesse kept remembering Quinn's tears from earlier that day and changed his mind. "Okay," he finally said.
"Thank you, Jesse," Quinn said softly.
"Anytime," he said, equally soft. He looked up at her and found her watching him. She placed a hand on his shoulder as she leaned over and kissed him briefly on his cheek. Her lips lingered over his cheek slightly longer than necessary, and Jesse wondered if Quinn was having second thoughts about giving up on what they had, whatever this complicated relationship was. However, soon after that, she unbuckled her seat belt and got out of the car.
Jesse didn't even wait until she got in the house before driving off. He was pretty sure if he had stayed any longer, he might try to convince her otherwise, and he had no doubt that Ms. Corocan would have skinned him alive for not following the what they had originally planned. He needed to forget about Quinn and focus on Rachel first of all.
The following week at school, Jesse and Quinn acted like nothing happened – at all. They were complete strangers again. Ms. Corocan called Jesse back to Vocal Adrenalin after he had completed his mission with Rachel and Jesse saw Quinn only three more times after that. Once was when Vocal Adrenalin had performed in the McKinley auditorium, the second when New Directions had performed their funk number. Both times, Quinn and Jesse had caught each other staring at each other. He had tried to read her expression, but Jesse wasn't sure if it was one of gratitude or longing, or maybe he was just imagining it.
The third time Jesse saw Quinn was during Regionals, and it was only from afar.
"Thank you, young man. I can never thank you enough for giving me this chance to make things right with my Quinnie. I appreciate you tracking me down and giving me an extra ticket to her big performance. She's very lucky to have a friend like you," Judy Fabray said, shaking Jesse's hand.
Jesse gave her a half smile. "You're very welcome. Please give Quinn my regards." He directed Mrs. Fabray to her seat and turned to the stage where Quinn was singing and dancing her heart out. He hoped that maybe, just maybe, someday he would get the chance to see her again.
Author's Note: I do apologize for the delay in this ending. I wasn't very happy with how things just ended, but my muse had other plans for Jesse and Quinn, which are becoming a huge challenge to write out. I'll probably stick to one shots until I can finish the future fic I'm working on. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did.