/Roxas' Notebook/

After Axel gave me back my phone I smiled up at him. Maybe this would be a good thing. Making friends so soon, I mean. I just moved here and all, so I didn't think I would be excepted so early on. I smiled, so big my eyes closed. I soon felt something warm on my lips and I opened my eyes in curiosity to see Axel's face pressed to mine in a soft kiss. It felt so good. My guardian, Leon, knew I was gay, after I came out of the closet last June with my ex Zexion. Me and him didn't work out so well. Now, he's dating Demyx, another ex of mine. Me and Demyx decided to stay friends though. Okay, back to topic. Why was Axel kissing me of all people? I mean, we just met. Whatever. He soon pulled away for air and smiled at me.

"You have a problem with that?" He asked me, seriously yet playfully. I smiled at this.

"It wasn't too bad." I answered. He smirked and kissed me again, this time I kissed back. It felt nice. I wonder... He pulled back and wiped his wet lips on his long sleeve.

"You wanna go out some time?" He asked me. This surprised me. I'd been kissed randomly by people before but they never asked me out...maybe this could work out...

"Sure." I replied, smiling but still in shock a little. At that moment the teacher burst in. I was dumbfounded. Why? Why him? God I hate him! He looked to me and instantly we made eye-contact. He glared and I glared right back. He started to approach. Shit! Leon's gonna be sooo pissed! Maybe I won't tell him...he might make us move if I do. Cloud was now only a foot away, glaring viciously. Maybe I should explain what's wrong with Cloud. Cloud was my brother. He was dating Leon and such and lived with him. When our parents died from an unknown disease, Leon agreed to take us in. Cloud, for some reason unknown to us to this day, disagreed and said if we weren't put on the street he'd leave Leon. Leon refused. He couldn't do that to children, so Cloud left, saying he hated me and Sora before doing so.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Roxas?" Cloud asked, sneering.

"Learning. When did you become a teacher? Molesting kids a new hobby?" I asked just as snidely. He slapped me. SLAPPED me! I raised my hand to my abused cheek.

"Watch yourself, Roxas." Cloud practically shouted. Axel stepped in front of me, scowling at Cloud.

"Roxas-" Axel started, turning his head while still keeping his head turned toward Cloud. "-how do you know him?" He asked, concerned. I looked down, ashamed.

"He...He was my brother." I answered. He turned completely around, shocked. Then he turned back to Cloud, glaring.

"Why did you hurt Roxas, Mr. Strife?" Axel asked, clearly pissed off beyond helping. Cloud just smirked.

"Well, you see...he is just a nuisance. He's the reason mom and dad died, and after that he forced Leon to let him move in. Causing him to kick me out. He completely forgot about me to save, these disgusting children Roxas and Sora." Cloud finished, faking barfing. Axel turned to me.

"Did you really do those things Roxas?" He asked, obviously taking Cloud's side.

"No." I looked down as I said these words. "I didn't do any of that. I do blame myself for what happened with mom and dad, though. Sora said it wasn't may fault but I knew it was." Tears started to flow down my cheeks. "Leon didn't kick him out. Cloud said if Leon didn't put me and Sora out on the streets he would leave him and Leon refused to protect me and Sora, hoping Cloud was joking but...he wasn't..." I started to sob but I kept going. "And even though Cloud left Leon still loved him but, he's given up now. He thinks there's no hope. I started thinking that as well. Cloud did say before he left he hated me and Sora, and he told us to die." I looked up and looked Cloud in the eye. Now was when he would probably feel guilty. I pulled up the long sleeve of my shirt on my left arm and removed the bandages. Below them, many deep cuts and scars, most looking fresh. "This is what I resorted to. You made me want to die. But it wasn't all you. I thought what you said was true, that I was responsible for everything. But not anymore. You know why? Because I realized how stupid it was for me to believe you, the one who left me and Sora for your own selfish life. I hate you." I said before running out of the classroom, crying. I ran into the bathroom and leaned over the sink, hyperventilating. I couldn't breath! Damn my panic attacks. I'm gonna have to call Leon and text Sora. Leon to bring me my medicine for the panic attack, Sora to tell him what happened and how. I pulled out my phone and dialed Leon's number and raised it to my ear. ring ring ring

"Hello?" Leon's voice sounded on the other end of the line. I tried to calm down enough to talk.

"L-Leon...*cough*...panic attack...*cough*...bring my medicine...please..*cough*..." I said before hanging up. I often called and it sounded similar to that. I always had at least one breakdown a week. It's not my fault. It's...what happened the night of my parent's deaths. It happened in front of me. I shuddered at the cold-hearted memory. That always made me on edge. I can't stay calm to save a persons life. They...did die in a car accident...but...Cloud was the one driving the car... Tears started pouring down. Then I heard the speakers.

'Roxas Strife, Roxas Strife. Please report to the office. Again,' I got up and began walking to the office. I wonder if they're calling me because Leon's already here. When I arrived at the office I was shocked. Nothing could help me then.